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Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:01:15 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		This is hypothetical:
 
You live pretty close to your neighbors, you hear screams of pain. You here "Please no more! Please stop!". What to do?  Pet and I were discussing this today and living the way we live, the question came up, how do we know if there is a play session going on or if there is genuine distress? What to do in this case? Should we call the police? If not, we are essentially ignoring someone's cries for help. If we do call the police, we are turning a couple in who are merely having a good time. Many times in our own play, he will say "please stop" but not mean it. If he were in serious distress, he would safe word out, but his words add to our enjoyment. That said, we really would understand if we heard our next door neighbor saying "Please stop".
 
This situation has not happened, but it could. In anyone's neighborhood, in anyone's state. How would you handle a situation like this, if at all? Keep in mind that sodomy is illegal and you possibly could be sending someone to jail, or saving a life, by your phone call.
 
I look forward to reading your comments. Thank you in advance <s>

 

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:04:26 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Knock on the damn door. 

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:06:28 PM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		The police are not stupid enough to intervene in a consensual sex situation of whatever stripe. They are not the blockheads of common folklore.
If you hear screams, call the police, let them sort it out.
If someone goes to jail for it, cool, they can have all the noisy buggery they want in there.
In the UK sodomy is perfectly legal, soon to be compulsory I believe...

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:07:38 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		 I live in a situation where I can frequently hear the sounds of legit, non-sexual domestic abuse. I almost never call the police. Why? Because the woman who was sobbing and being hit 2 minutes ago is going to be furiously angry and deny everything if the police show up, and then she'll pop my tires, and she'll be being beat-up again next week. Gotta love living in the ghetto.

 If there was a situation where I wasn't 100% sure someone was being seriously injured, I'd probably ignore it, or leave an anonymous note the following day.

< Message edited by ExKat -- 10/16/2008 3:08:33 PM >

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:07:51 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I'm always extra quiet when in a house with shared walls.  (By which I mean, my normal level of pretty quiet works its way down to almost mute.  I don't want to alert neighbours.)

As far as I am concerned, there are such things as gags, should you wish to play at home, and be likely to be overheard.  They were invented for a most practical purpose, and even for those such as myself who loathe the things, there's an option out there.

If I hear someone screaming, in pain, and sounds of a fight, I'll call about a domestic disturbance next door.  Should there be nothing to report, then the top can come to the door and apologise for having the TV turned up too loud.  And in future, they will know that ball gags (or bit gags, or panties, etc) are their friends.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:10:28 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		What neighborhoods do y'all live in? I grew up in east cleveland. The only time you didnt get shot knocking on somones door after dark was either A.) halloween, and B.) when theyve ordered a pizza. So yeah, go knock on the crackheads door, let me know how that works out.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:18:27 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ehhh let them sort it out.  If they won't leave that type of situation.  Who am I to get involved.  If I see abuse happening with my own eyes I have gotten involved.

BadOne

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:28:26 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy

The police are not stupid enough to intervene in a consensual sex situation of whatever stripe.


Errm, yes they are. Let them pound on the door and you have to answer it with your makeup smeared, red hand marks on different parts of the body and fresh tears drying on your face. You nicely explain it is consensual and just some heavy, on the rougher side sex going on, and they take him in anyway because even though I say I am not being abused, they decide for themselves that I am, and they are 'under obligation' to arrest him whether or not I sign a statement.




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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 3:29:48 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		Which is why *you* don't go to the door, the top does.

And, "oops, sorry, the TV was on loud" is a wonderful line.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 4:23:56 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Better to wreck a play session and save a life than the other option.  They can always resume playing, but if they're dead....

They should be educated enough to know that if they have close neighbors, someone could hear and they should act accordingly, like shut the windows and try to keep it down.   That's only common sense.

A long time ago, I was in that same situation....could hear a neighbor beating the crap out of his wife or girlfriend, and it wasn't a play session.  I did call the cops, and she thanked me later.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 4:43:37 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		Hmmm its a dodgy one - personally I'd call the cops - End of the day better safe than sorry and i play hard but i play gagged if it's going to be that violent.

That said I was chatting to a guy once who saw a guy who was drunk pin a girl (his girlfriend mayhaps) to a wall by her throat off the floor - the guy intevened only to have the girl pick hereself up and swing at him. So much for trying to help someone.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 4:43:50 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Our neighbors are not close enough to hear screams.  Unless of course we are outside.  Voices carry then.

They also know what we are into.  So, if they heard..they probably wouldn't do anything to help.  Unless they saw a foreign car..etc.

We also know what they are into.  So..I guess I have to say communication works wonders even when it is your neighbors.

If you can't communicate..call the cops and let them sort it out.  Or do nothing.


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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 4:46:25 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I hear screams and stop... I call.. yell.. bang, whatever it takes to make sure someone is safe rather than ignore it and find out I could have done something to save someone.

If someone is going to play and be loud enough that other's can hear it, knowing they share walls or whatever... they ought to use gag balls, move or something so they don't freak the neighbors in any way...  Hell there might be young'ins next door... or someone like me who worked in domestic abuse... no... make yourself safe from arrest or do-good neighbors who hate what they see in the news or risk exposure.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 5:03:39 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I guess thats the main of it - If your gonna be loud enough to worry the neighbors then expect one of them may call the police.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 5:04:33 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExKat

I live in a situation where I can frequently hear the sounds of legit, non-sexual domestic abuse. I almost never call the police. Why? Because the woman who was sobbing and being hit 2 minutes ago is going to be furiously angry and deny everything if the police show up, and then she'll pop my tires, and she'll be being beat-up again next week. Gotta love living in the ghetto. (Emphasis added.)



Sorry, but it's a myth that abuse only happens among the poor, or that poor (and wealthy) abuse victims will go crawling back to their abusers so why bother trying to help.  This sort of ignorance hurts.
 
candystripper 

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 5:14:20 PM   
leira73


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		At one point I had neighbors that seemed to get into screaming matches constantly. They lived in the apartment below me. I don't *think* they were D/s folks, but you never know. I generally turned up the volume on my TV...or, sometimes turned it down and laughed my ass off! The exception was one night when I could hear the sound of them hitting each other and then the wailing of their daughter (2 or 3 years old). When the woman started screaming "Look what you did!"...I called the cops.

Yep, there was a really pissed off neighbor pounding on my door the next day telling me to "mind my own business"...and my response was that if I could hear through the walls...they MADE it my business. I didn't feel bad about the choice I made and I would do it again under those circumstances. I think it's a judgement call and it's better to be safe than sorry.

~leira

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 5:21:32 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Abuse, murder... all sorts of things happen in every economical area.  Was OJ poor?  He would have been one hell of a neighbor to live close to!  I lived in a very nice area... custom homes... guess what?  More police called there than in the ghetto I live in now.  It all depends on the neighbors and whatever... not what's in their bank account.  You wouldn't believe the backgrounds of the people I have worked with.  They come from everywhere.

That is like assuming that only poor people are into bdsm... yeah... okay... I am poor... but I wasn't always... lol... some are poor, some are rich and some have neighbors that might call on them if they are loud and it sounds like someone is being abused or murdered.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 5:22:17 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		If I knew there was a little one present, I'd have the cops on speed-dial.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 6:26:47 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This is one of those questions that remind me how sad it is to live in the state with the highest spousal abuse rate in the country.  I saw my neighbors outside in the yard beating the holy hell out of each other.  I called the police.  She went and bailed him out of jail the next morning and refuses to let her daughter come to play with mine ever since.

I saw with my own two eyes what was going on.  I didn't hear screams, I didn't mistake play or rough sex for someone being in danger.   She was screaming, begging, and pleading for him to stop.  It took everything in me not to go and stop him myself, and but for my child I would have.  Their child watched from the door.  It tore me apart in the few minutes it took for the police to arrive.

Now that I know a little of their history, I would not hesitate to call the police if I heard it from inside their house.  Not for her, because she is a willing victim, but for the child.

I recently had a training at work regarding spousal abuse and the figures and timelines they used shocked me.  The one that really got to me the most was that a woman whose husband will allow her friends to know that he beats her has a life expectancy of 6 months, and when he allows her family to know her life expectancy is 3 months. 

Given the small percentage of people who practice BDSM within their relationships, I would have to err on the side of caution in the situation you described, MoGA.  I would hate to think that I could have saved someone's life and chose to remain silent.


  

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RE: Hypothetical Situation - 10/16/2008 6:41:19 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Here in Colorado, if there is domestic abuse and any um's are around or live in the home, social services pays a call and they are real bull dogs here.  Throw your keys at someone... you could have charges against you.  Even intimidation with words can get you jailed.  Here they will not allow an abuser back into the home until things are sorted out in court and charges are brought whether the victim wants them brought or not.  A protective order is established right away and if the victim breaks the order and has anything to do with the abuser, any um's in the home can be taken on the spot.  If such abuse is done in front of the um's, charges of um abuse are added to the domestic abuse.  They take it seriously and victims are forced to whether they like it or not.

In MO where I am moving to... you get busted for abuse... you could do seven years time.  Things are changing and it's about time.  But this also means some innocent could get caught in the system.  I am very careful about who I play with! lol

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