maybemaybenot
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Joined: 9/22/2005
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BSB:
<<hugs>> Yep, I teared up when I read the OP. I hope the sobbing I caused was the good kind. Shogun is such a cool name, one of my cats was named Shogun because he was part Siamese. Like you, as painful as it was and as much as my heart was breaking I could not have let him go at the hands of strangers.It was never an option.
I have a picture of my little Teed, who has now been gone three years and I can break into a full runny nosed sob. He was 19 years old when I had to put him down. For the last 6 or so months of his life I knew he was getting old, like you said, he just got old. I use to look into his eyes and tell him " I know you're dying on me and I don't know what I will do without you". He wasn't sick, I just knew in my soul that our time together was not long. Well about two weeks before I put him down, he wouldn't eat like he used to. No matter what I did he just wasn't interested in his food. I took him to the vet to find out he had Lung Cancer. A very large tumor almost entirely filling his left lung. The vet gave me the option of taking him home and trying IVs and antibiotics to buy a little time or put him to sleep. I chose option one. He wasn't in pain or suffering, just not eating. The Vet said there was a small chance with fluids and antibiotics he would perk up for a short time
< months> before I had to do the inevitable. After about three days, nothing chnaged and I called the vet and made the appointment to do what I dreaded. I took him the next day, my vet did exactly as your did, dim lights, sedative so I could hold him and say good bye. I talked to him and said what I had to say and when they got ready to inject him I said what i always said to him " Ohhh teedy, my handsome, handsome boy. I love the little Teedyboy" I know he heard me, because I had said that to him from the day I picked him out at the shelter and when ever I said it he pressed his paw in my hand and stuck his claws out. not to hurt, but to touch me. And as he was dying and I was saying what I always said, his little paw stretched open and tried to give me his claw.
I'm crying as I write this, but it's the good cry.
Now here is the really weird part... I knew I wanted to get another cat at some point, sooner rather than later, after I lost Teed. But I wasn't ready. A few days later I was doing dishes, I have a window right next to my sink, and right on my window sill was a big pair of green eyes looking in at me. I went out to my patio and took a look. It was a scrawny, malnourshed matted up girly cat. I fed her, I brushed her, I cut the mats out of her fur. I made her a little bed on my porch. I would have taken her in but I had another cat and didn't know the communicable disease status of this stray. She stayed. The next morning she was back in the window looking for me. I do alot of work with animal rescue groups/shelters and I knew she was not a true stray, some one had owned her. She was fixed and much too people friendly to be a " street girl ". I went around the neighborhood the next few days asking about a lost cat, showed pics, no one claimed her or claimed to know of her. I kept her on my porch until I got her to the Vets and had her tested, all tests were negative which was very cool financially. because if she had tested positive for FeLuek or FIV, I simply would have vaccinated my other cat and brought the new one in anyway. It is three years later and she is the sweetest cat and just as laid back as she can be. I have lived in this condo complex and neighborhood for many years and we have never had strays. not a one.
Call me a nut, whacky or whatever you like, but I truely believe that Teedy sent her to me to help ease my pain. She is my gift from him while he waits for me to join him.
mbmbn
< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 10/16/2008 9:07:00 PM >
_____________________________
Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter
When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.
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RE: tomorow we take sparky tp be put to sleep - 
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