RE: Frustrated About the Local Scene

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RE: Frustrated About the Local Scene - A Rant - 10/20/2008 7:43:06 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

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I posted this in another thread recently (can't remember which one though), but when you're fishing from a small pond, which we do, you're going to end up with people moving from person to person. Usually it's because people enter relationships and it doesn't work out, then they find someone else and give it a go. It's no different than the rest of the population, but in a BDSM group, you're talking about a much smaller population for people to pick and choose from. With the beginning, middle and ending of so many casual and serious relationships, there is going to be drama.

Add in to the equation that besides the BDSM interest, many people in a group wouldn't likely socialize with their fellow group members for any number of reasons. So if someone feels left out because this sub-group doesn't call them every time they get together for coffee, then they may create some more drama about how "cliquish" people are, etc...

We have a wonderful, friendly group in my area. And yes, there's generally plenty of drama and revolving relationships in our group. The secret is to participate in a way that works for you, and make certain that other people's drama doesn't become your drama. And if you are in a relationship, you make sure that other people's "issues" or drama in their own relationship(s) doesn't create the same in your own.

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RE: Frustrated About the Local Scene - A Rant - 10/20/2008 8:28:19 AM

GreedyTop

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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nicely said, Angel

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RE: Frustrated About the Local Scene - A Rant - 10/20/2008 8:50:50 AM

justgemmie

Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
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Greetings subsnow :)

I don't know if everyone is like this, but if the local munches and groups take in a large amount of people, well, people are people and this happens in any large grouping.

I live in the DC area, and we have a very large bdsm community here. We have several things that go on here faithfully, like a monthly picnic (that draws in anywhere from 30 to 60 folks or more). Plus different munches, and coffeeklatches and parties, seminars- lots of stuff. But there are so many different kinds and types of folks! I don't know if I would call the different groups cliquish, but since not everyone likes everyone else, I'm with friends that I like, Suzie's with friends she likes, Gertrude's with friends she likes, etc.

I try to remain acquaintences, or friends, with most folks, and stay out of drama. And so do others. But there will always be folks who like to brag, or who feel it's being loyal to dislike *X* because they're best friend dislikes *X,* or people who have a need to gossip for whatever reason pushes their buttons.

It is probably much more apparent to you because you're new. Just face it, in any large group, be it the PTA or your local bdsm scene, folks talk. You're gonna like some of them and not others. You'll probably end up talking about others with the good friends you make too. It's a relatively human thing to do.

I don't have any good council about what to do to not be talked about. If you put yourself in a group, they're gonna talk. It's almost a given, IMO.

well wishes,
Gemmie

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RE: Frustrated About the Local Scene - A Rant - 10/21/2008 2:06:17 PM

azjojoba