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WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: Where did the BDSM go? (10/19/2008 9:38:40 PM)
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Missturbation,
I've been doing kinky BDSM things with girls since I was 13 years old, in fact I was doing BDSM activities before I lost my virginity, or even knew anything about there being a whole lifestyle for the activities and things we do.
I've not done everything there is to do, still things on my Love to do, or try lists. However, those things will not be that difficult to do, when and if the time ever comes. The whole kink process is basically the same. Just applied to different kinks and activities.
A thread on fucking somebody up the ass, flogging, playing with knives, playing with hot wax, verbal humilation, rape play, and many other activities, really don't do much for me in terms of personal growth or growth in terms of better or more effective D/s or self improvement much.
It's not the activities and kinks where I have had much problems with, those things generally are not much of an issue. It's all the human relationship aspects were I encounter problems, and I suspect most people on here have encountered problems with.
There have been time to time, posts by people looking for kinky ideas or scene play, and I have attempted to contribute and Share ideas, and things I have done or tried. What amazes me is that lack of postings to some of these threads by other people at times.
It's not like people don't start up threads on here specific to BDSM itself, however these threads are often short lived with a minor to moderate amount of postings to it.
I have attempted to post threads from time to time, covering aspects such as "Age Play and DID", "Forced Sex being used to resolve fights", "St. Andrew Cross designs ideas", in fact even make posts regarding "regressive age play" in general, and shed insight into "Dom couples" as best as I can based upon my own experiences. I have shared things with people in regards to Spanking Ass even, I have shared things regarding Floggers and how wonderul they are. I've been posting about kinky BDSM things, until I ran out of questions or felt like I was repeating myself too many times.
How many times, can I post about the same old topic. How many times can I read a thread and get nothing new out of it?
At the end of the day, many of us have been in fucked up relationships, are wanting to have a better relationship the next spin around, or are faced with new issues in our current relationship that we have never dealt with before.
I have had to face some new issues that I have never dealt with before. Plus, I have had to deal with some triggers lately, that have me exploring things a little more in depth. Ok, all of these things apply regardless if it's a BDSM D/s relationship or not. However, these things effect the D/s relationship itself.
My flogging abilitity, my verbal humilation skills, my bondage skills, my ability to use somebody like fuck meat, well are absolutely worthless in address these issues. I can oil somebody up, drag their naked fucking body around the floor and fuck them up the ass for hours and it won't make anything any better. Won't make the relationship any more solid. Won't do a thing for my own personal self-improvement.
Me telling somebody to spread their legs and me spanking their pussy senseless won't fix a damn thing. Sure it might side track things for awhile, side track things for a moment in time.
I can actually be involved in a M/s relationship without no emotional attachment, without much problem. Said it, done it and wore the t-shirt. If anything, I don't think I personally grew much from this relationship. I actually got, well.. Ummm rather bored. I found myself wanting to be with somebody, that I felt something for on an emotional level.
Sex, Kink and BDSM alone ain't enough for me. If it was the only things that made me tick and the only thing I wanted, I would have never release a perfectly good slave back into the wild. She never would have been begging and pleding with me, and pounding her fists on my chest that one night. A moment I'll never forget.
Perhaps some people have this killer notion that they want that perfect slave girl, with no emotional attachment, who will do anything and everything without question. A girl who make your interest and your hobbies her. Where your opinions become hers. Sex on demand 24/7 no bullshit, no problems, a clean house everything organized top to bottom. I had this come true for me, and in the end, it well really seemed and felt a little empty. Something was missing, and it was not kink, not BDSM, not sex.
I wanted a deeper and stronger connection, one more involving of two hearts, souls, and spirits together. I found myself with the desire for other human needs and wants as well.
So yeah, I guess... this sort of sums it up for me.
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