quote:

ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub

From time to time, I like being humiliated. But I can’t explain why.

So I wanted to hear from other subs. If you enjoy being humiliated, please tell me why. What does it do for you?

Thanks,
Snow

quote:

ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub

From time to time, I like being humiliated. But I can’t explain why.

So I wanted to hear from other subs. If you enjoy being humiliated, please tell me why. What does it do for you?

Thanks,
Snow

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiale

Humiliation in scene is most often done with the understanding that it not damaging humiliation. The goal is not to actually cause someone to have lower self esteem, etc.

To me, humiliation is another avenue to breaking down the walls of what is societally allowed. The mental game often played is that the submissive secretly want to be, or do, the things for which they are being humiliated. With great 'shame' they are 'forced' to admit their desires and then 'forced' to play them out, to some degree.

Let me borrow from a writing of mine....

----------------

So where do the other elements come from, the desire to be humiliated, ‘mistreated’, used—I don’t just have those elements there for no reason, they don’t just lead to a happy ending where, after the dom gets his use of me, there are the moments of satisfaction, satiation, and hopefully, praise.

No--those are there for a reason. It could be a reclamation effort—I suffered abuse in my life and by choosing when I am abused, and how, and by whom, I gain control over something which was completely outside of my control in the past. That just doesn’t feel like all of it. There might be some part of it that matches that, but that’s not the whole of it.

So what else is it, what button does it push, what need does it fulfill? To be brought down, made low, made to realize how base, simple, and vulgar I truly am. To be given permission to be that vulgar creature, and ‘forced’ to enjoy it. Sure—push me, force me, make me display myself for your pleasure, I will offer you my inconsequential, half hearted, societal protests, which you will either ignore or for which I will be punished. And then, all rituals complete, we both get to enjoy the forbidden fruits of my body and soul. That sounds about right. A little scripted, a little campy perhaps, but it has the essence in there, somewhere.
----------------

Safe Journeys,

Kiale

quote:

Part of it is BECAUSE of my academic background, I'm very smart and very well educated. I think a LOT, I work a LOT, I am a control freak, I have moderate OCD, I am the social planner for my group of friends.

Being an object means you don't have to think, you don't have to stress, you just have to BE that object. You are there, purely and passively, for service and use. There's no need for you to interpret anything, no need for you to react, only simply to BE there.

That's a pretty awesome state of being for me.

Another part, the shown off part, is because I am an exhibitionist, I get a huge charge out of people's energy when they enjoy looking and playing with me. They are giving ME lots of attention, they want to touch ME, they want to use ME for pleasure, I can provide them with a release, with a good time, a good memory.

The sexual usage part is just part of my universal sex fantasy life- it's just hot to be used, hot to be a hole to go in, do your thing and get out. I don't really know much about that other than what I've already stated. I can't tell you why it gets me so deep any more than I can tell you why bondage does.

Something most subs and slaves can understand- it takes away choice. You don't have to think, you don't get to say no, you are there to always say YES, an object, a trophy doesn't get to say stop or get to dictate how it is used.

I am somewhat materialistic in that I like to use my money and gifts to show people I care for them. It's a physical thing I can give to show I've been thinking of them and want to add to their lives. While I understand they don't NEED those things, it's a very powerful idea to me. So, to BE the object itself, to be given to someone else, has a distinct personal flavor to it.

You'll notice- all of these reasons are about ME, what I enjoy, what I get out of it.

The Owner will pass me around and use me in ways I don't necessarily enjoy directly. He will send me to people I don't have an affinity for, partly because he KNOWS I don't have an affinity for them. So I don't necessarily always love it, with anyone, anywhere. There are definitely circumstances in which I really hate it.

While I love attention, I am actually quite uncomfortable ASKING for attention, I am very uneasy when people actually look at me and say "Now, I'm going to give you all this attention, just for you, just to enjoy, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Part of it is because not too many people are actually really GOOD at giving me happy pleasure, part of it is that I've trained myself to adapt and become what the OTHER person needs for that session, which, if it's a good match, will also be what I need.

And part of it is just my innate shyness and discomfort with being a focal point of attention. I don't know what to do with it, I feel very exposed. Perhaps a paradox for someone who LOVES being exposed, but that's why I call humiliation a "burning."

So, the humiliation and objectification is a keen way for me to receive attention, which I love, while being passive about asking for it and simply being a pretty little butterfly that people are attracted to, rather than dealing with the harder ordeal for me of directly asking and directly being told to sit back and enjoy.

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub

From time to time, I like being humiliated. But I can’t explain why.

So I wanted to hear from other subs. If you enjoy being humiliated, please tell me why. What does it do for you?

Thanks,
Snow

quote:

It's a humbling experience for me, a reminder of my "place"

quote:

Sorry camigirl...I was trying to quote you but I messed up.

Anyway, you said that humiliation reminds you of your 'place'.

I completely identify with what you are saying… but why do I need to be embarrassed and humiliated to be put in my 'place'?

And why is it such a sexual turn on?

Snow



Hi Snow,
I can only say for "me" because it humbles me...it reminds me that there are bigger, greater, more powerful infulences over me...and that also turns me on...cause im submissive :) and thats what we need.
Make sense?

camigirl

_____________________________

You had me at "stay"

(in reply to snowgirlsub)

quote:

This is what I consider humiliating. I hate it, and do not find it erotic or a turn on at all. My reaction is embarassment, anger, and resentment...and the struggle to control those emotions.

I do not have much experience with objectification, but to me name calling is just "dirty talk" that heightens the sex or the scene. Even a slap acorss the face is just rough play depending on the context. I don't really consider it humiliation. This is what I consider humiliating. I hate it, and do not find it erotic or a turn on at all. My reaction is embarassment, anger, and resentment...and the struggle to control those emotions.

I do not have much experience with objectification, but to me name calling is just "dirty talk" that heightens the sex or the scene. Even a slap acorss the face is just rough play depending on the context. I don't really consider it humiliation.

Being publically corrected or criticized or spoken harshly to just quietly enrages me and makes me want to lash out or disappear. That is the "burn" for me. (My face literally burns, flushed with controlled anger or embarassment.) It is a very strong punishment or negative reinforcer.

I even have a an empathetic reaction to watching others be verbally humiliated in that way.

In my experience overall male submissives seem to enjoy humiliation play more, or maybe just in a different way. (Or at least the ones I have been involved with.) Am I making one of those dreadful gender based statements that I typically dislike? Or have others noticed that in general, realizing there are no hard-n-fast rule.

Actually i completly agree with you. These things would anger me too.
But there is a difference between someone degrading you and someone who humbles you. If someone is degrading me, they hold no power over me and i would fight back too. A humble feeling on the other hand reminds me there are greater things on this earth than me. Its a good thing.
I did have a Dominant once say to me he asscociated this with submissive men. I dont know why it would make a difference.

camigirl

_____________________________

You had me at "stay"

(in reply to camigirl)