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RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/29/2007 9:11:28 AM   
womanworshipper


Posts: 71
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		Humiliation has always been a very important aspect of my D/s relationships for me. In the sessions i had with my previous Mistress, it was direct and intense, though generally done in private. Mistress would spit in my face and verbally abuse me (e.g. telling me I was a “c**t” or “a piece of shit”) and I would find this very arousing.

My current owner would not dream of doing this. With Her, humiliation is more subtle and generally involves public displays of my submission to Her; for example, ordering me about at work or at the shops or publically berating or denigrating me. In these cases, I find that my humiliation is actually accompanied by a sense of pride at openly displaying my submissiveness to Her.

One example of this – and i apologise if it is a little yucky – is when We/we were walking in the park near to Her home recently and Madam stepped in dog mess. She told me off for not spotting it and warning Her. i apologised and suggested She sit down on a nearby bench so i could clean it off. She sat down and i knelt down in front of Her, lifted up Her foot and wiped her boot clean with a tissue.

Other people were passing and i felt a little humiliation at being so subservient to her in front of them but at the same time, proud not to be diverted by this from doing what i considered i had to do.

i would stress that while Our/our behaviour may raise eyebrows or invite comment, We/we never do anything in public that is likely to offend any reasonable person or make them feel really uncomfortable.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/29/2007 9:24:24 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub

From time to time, I like being humiliated. But I can’t explain why.

So I wanted to hear from other subs. If you enjoy being humiliated, please tell me why. What does it do for you?

Thanks,
Snow



this slave has been used by Master in ways that OTHERS would consider humiliating...however, in our relationship, those same activites are either sexually stimulating, or a part of the responsibilities of Master's slave.
 
since this slave doesn't consider it humiliating to be sexually aroused, to obey and/or please Master, she has NEVER felt humiliated by Him, our relationship or any activity requiring this slave's participation.

(in reply to snowgirlsub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/29/2007 9:28:51 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

...
 
since this slave doesn't consider it humiliating to be sexually aroused, to obey and/or please Master, she has NEVER felt humiliated by Him, our relationship or any activity requiring this slave's participation. 


Wow... what a wonderful way to look at things.  While I do rather enjoy humiliation (which embarrases the daylights outta me!  LOL), there ARE some things that I will try to look at differently now...holding your comments to heart.
 
Thank you,
beverly

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/29/2007 12:55:16 PM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		I have always considered ADMITTING you were into humiliation was humiliating in itself.
There are many different definitions of what humiliation is (another subjective word) but i would say that it is being pushed to the outer limits where comfort is neither obtained nor sought.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/29/2007 7:00:49 PM   
farmlandsub


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub

From time to time, I like being humiliated. But I can’t explain why.

So I wanted to hear from other subs. If you enjoy being humiliated, please tell me why. What does it do for you?



As i talk daily with TexasMaam, there are times i may say things kind of suggestive, a lot of time Her response is to call me a slut, my response is "Her Slut". i do really enjoy this. i am not in to big time humiliation.  How ever when TexasMaam does so, it arouses me.

(in reply to snowgirlsub)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/30/2007 7:21:41 PM   
EvaLass


Posts: 83
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Humiliation can be a way to admit you are human. It can be a relief to be accepted and possibly loved, even if you are imperfect or have a lowered status (humiliation means "bring down to the ground").  It is also considered "edge-play" in that it could be damaging if not done carefully. I am hard to humiliate so I am a tempting and challenging project for a Dom.  Humiliation should never focus on real faults or flaws; it becomes hurtful or painful at that point. Humiliation can be used in an erotic setting, too. A person can be "humiliated" while experiencing something they really enjoy. Erotic teasing while stopping a submissive short of orgasm is an example of this type of humiliation. I have been told that I blush easily and act embarrassed when asked to do certain things. That is apparently a humiliation response, and it can be very gratifying to some Doms to create this type of reaction in public. The Dom has to gauge whether you can handle this sort of thing. I have been through some minor incidents of public humiliation that I enjoyed, but some people might have had the opposite reaction. Not all D/s relationships are based on written consent that discusses every possible activity; and a Dom might create a humiliating event without warning. The shock element can be pleasurable, too, but not for everybody.  I would give some funny examples, but I don't want them to come back and haunt me later. If you want to know, you can write me an email and I will elaborate.


(in reply to camigirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/31/2007 4:39:05 PM   
hotwater07


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		I just wanted to thank E/everyone for Y/your comments on this.  Humiliation and it's affect on me is something that I have been trying to understand and I feel so much better knowing there are so many different responses and definitions.  I have so much to learn (about everything) and I am grateful beyond words for Y/your willingness to share Y/your experiences here!
K

(in reply to EvaLass)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Erotic humiliation - 5/31/2007 7:25:42 PM   
acissej


Posts: 2370
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin
...having him strip me of my walls, protections, boundaries and force me to admit to things that are normally shaming - and having him love me for those things - is very affirming. When he makes me beg to be fucked up the ass, beg until I am crying, beg him to fuck me up the ass because I'm a filthy little whore - and then he does it, and growls how much he loves what a dirty little whore I am - it is like he is telling me that he loves ALL of me. Not just the clean, presentable, graceful parts, but the crude, rude, dirty, filthy little whore parts too.


Elorin's post perfectly sums up my feelings on humiliation.  It's complex and there's a lot that goes into it, but a huge part of what I like about humiliation is knowing that, even after seeing me at my worst, my lowest, he still loves me.  It is affirming, and powerful and wonderful.

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/1/2007 11:10:18 AM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub

From time to time, I like being humiliated. But I can’t explain why.

So I wanted to hear from other subs. If you enjoy being humiliated, please tell me why. What does it do for you?

Thanks,
Snow



It's  a thrill to the submissive who knows what he's doing is pleasing to his Mistress/Master.

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m y s p a c e


(in reply to snowgirlsub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/1/2007 12:39:49 PM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		I must admit I like it too (to some extent). Its when he grabs me from behind and pulls me backwards into his body then whispers a reminder that he can make me cum when ever he likes...

he has learnt that by doing just a few small things (not necessarily easy to spot by passers by) he can make me cum... he loves to watch me struggle to keep quiet & stop squirming as he does this.
I find it hard not to moan & yelp & generally writhe about so you can imagine how humiliating this is for me... but its also a challenge which is something else I like to step up to.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/1/2007 1:45:02 PM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I love a lil verbal humiliation in private.  It feels good to be called my D's lil slut and such.. it makes me giggle and arouses me :)  A slap on the face, I wouldn't consider humiliation... I love that too, though.

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(in reply to camigirl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/3/2007 4:46:17 AM   
Misstrainer


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		why is it only from time to time? 
 
i had a particular experience semi-recently.  i was with a Dom, he had me take off his shoes & socks, he then told me to lick his feet, and i did.
i know this might be commonplace for some folks, but for me, it was a first.  and i never thought id want to lick someones feet since i hate dirty things.
but as i inhaled the slightly nasty odor, as he told me he had been wearing his socks since yesterday, and as i knelt there before him....i felt almost a burning or longing.  i hated it, but loved it.  and i kept thinking how i had never done this for anyone before, never dreamed of it.
but, unlike you, snowgirlsub, ive been craving more humiliation since then.
so, thats what it does for me, or at least, thats what that did for me
but in general, i think subs like humiliation because it enforces the fact that your owner/dom/master/misstress(s) can do whatever they want with you and it reminds bottoms how low and dirty they will be for their top, how they will give up their dignity to please the top and to obey.
-bridget

(in reply to snowgirlsub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/3/2007 5:30:07 AM   
sierraflowr


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2005
From: Northern California
Status: offline 		Thank you for starting this thread. Wonderful views and a bit more understanding of something i've found i like! its funny, but at one point i actually told my husband that i hated humiliation. i guess maybe because there is a difference between reading things that are humiliating, and actually hearing them.
anyway all of this has given me so much to think about and i appreciate all the writings from everyone.
Thank you


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O};-
When I let go of who I am,
I become who I might be.
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(in reply to Misstrainer)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/3/2007 9:12:34 AM   
shedreamz


Posts: 34
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

In my experience overall male submissives seem to enjoy humiliation play more, or maybe just in a different way. (Or at least the ones I have been involved with.) Am I making one of those dreadful gender based statements that I typically dislike? Or have others noticed that in general, realizing there are no hard-n-fast rules.



I do think it seemed that way to me at first but I suspect it might have something to do with the tendency for male subs to be more open about their desires to be humiliated -- which to me means being treated badly to the point where (as you so greatly described it) you are shamed, humbled, angry, embarrassed, enraged at whoever is humiliating you. 

For some of us, that is oddly arousing.  And if someone knows how to play with us in this vein, they can get us to sopping wet in 15 seconds flat with a couple of lines. 

To answer the original poster, I think the best humiliation play is personal and personalized -- it comes from someone knowing you well and knowing just what to say or do to make you crumble.  And the smart cookie uses that moment, to grind you down, and make you know your place.

For me..

When he shoved his fingers in me, after threatened to give me to the driver, and remarked that perhaps he might not-- because I clearly would like that.  And then left to go to the car.

When he sent me shopping for collars at a supermarket and had me try them on in the aisle.

When he surprised me and invited two girls I did not know to our romantic dinner at home -- where I had surprised him and dressed as a schoolgirl. 

When he forced me to use his knee to cum. 

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/3/2007 6:41:27 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoundDragon

I must admit I like it too (to some extent). Its when he grabs me from behind and pulls me backwards into his body then whispers a reminder that he can make me cum when ever he likes...

he has learnt that by doing just a few small things (not necessarily easy to spot by passers by) he can make me cum... he loves to watch me struggle to keep quiet & stop squirming as he does this.
I find it hard not to moan & yelp & generally writhe about so you can imagine how humiliating this is for me... but its also a challenge which is something else I like to step up to.



Sounds fun. Can you make me a video? :) Please.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to BoundDragon)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/3/2007 7:13:56 PM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		As many have said here, I enjoy being put in my place.
It is exciting, thrilling and turns me on.

(in reply to snowgirlsub)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/14/2007 8:59:37 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I think humiliation can be sorted into two broad types: one that causes emotional perturbance and one that does not cause emotional perturbance but is humbling.

For instance, kneeling before a dominant does not create feelings of emotional perturbance and is a gesture of humility. Similarly, there are many other gestures, which vary from person to person, that would be humiliating to an ordinary person but do not create true feelings of humiliation in a given submissive.

I consider humiliation that causes emotional perturbance to fall within SM, and that that does not call emotional perturbance to be in the spirit of D/s. I don't consider the two to be mutually exclusive--an act may  be both an expression of SM and D/s.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to snowgirlsub)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/14/2007 9:02:56 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

Some time ago, I worked in an office with a stunning blonde who was obviously spolt. Others virtually kowtowed to her. I was polite, but kept to myself.


Did you find that she had an erotic response to humiliation, or was she instead obsessed by the social challenge you presented?

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/14/2007 9:08:15 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: womanworshipper
Mistress would spit in my face and verbally abuse me (e.g. telling me I was a “c**t” or “a piece of shit”) and I would find this very arousing.


If you don't mind me asking, did you find yourself experiencing feelings of humiliation as you might in a vanilla situation that is humiliating? That is, did this act create emotional perturbance or did you see it as an expression of your roles without feeling the type of humiliation you might feel in a vanilla situation?

quote:

or publically berating or denigrating me.


I would think this example would cause some feelings of humiliation as one might feel in a vanilla situation. Am I correct?

I understand D/s humilation (the first example) but do not have as good a handle on SM humiliation (the second example). Would you be willing to contrast your response in the two examples above?

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to womanworshipper)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Erotic humiliation - 6/14/2007 9:20:36 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips
Being publically corrected or criticized or spoken harshly to just quietly enrages me and makes me want to lash out or disappear.


I relate with what you say. Are you able to put your finger on what the common denominator is when an act of humiliation is unerotic, and when it is erotic?

quote:

In my experience overall male submissives seem to enjoy humiliation play more


I do not know enough about types of humiliation interests across male and female subs to comment on the patterns. I am, however, wondering how societal roles and behavioral patterns amongst the sexes play into humiliation play patterns across the sexes.

For instance, it seems that being called a slut is more commonly mentioned by female subs. And male humiliation play may have a greater tendency to challenge or deflate the ego. To the extent each is a pattern, I see societal expectations to be relevant since each goes against these expectations.

For subs who have experienced humiliation play with both male and female dominants, do you see any patterns in the type of play preferred across the sexes amongst dominants?

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 60
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