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True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 12:18:06 PM   
Gladiator123


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/20/2008
Status: offline 		For all of my life I have adored and admired the true beauty of a Women, especially Women of color. I am fully aware of all fetishes, sexual desires, the websites catering to the male sexual submissive Psychy, and play parties associated with Femdom. I, as a male also have submissive fantacies. But it is not about this. For me all I want is to be a slave to a black Woman. I would love to be summoned on weekends to perform all her housework, cooking, laundry, erronds, shopping all to be done for her to sleep in late or just relax from her week. Her life, mates, sexuality is Mistress' buisiness. I just want to be her best friend and protector. Escort her in the vanilla world and make her proud of the chilverous attention given. The job of a slave in my mind is the total closeness between a male and it's owner. The intamacies that vanilla will never know.  Such as wiping her in bathroom service, cleaning and changing her when her monthly cycle arrives. Massaging her, bathing and doing for Her what no one vanilla will!. To be the closest person to her on Earth. I just want to be her faithful pet. Like a dog craving the attention of Master and what ever attention given. If she is married I would serve regardless! My life would be fulfilled knowing I served her well. To kiss her feet would be reward enough for me. I am truly finding this hard to find on Collarme. Am I doing something wrong! I would appreciate any advise so that I may correct my problem and serve.
Kneeling:
gladiator
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 12:20:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that not too many women want someone to help her change her tampons.  Just sayin'.

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 12:24:15 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think I just threw up a little...

DV's Fox

P.S.  Correct the problem by not being overbearing when it comes to your fantasies.  There's nothing wrong with having them or wanting them to happen, but the way you state it is rather overbearing, I think.  You say you don't want things to be about you, but you have a rather concrete almost impervious idea in your head.  Just be a touch more openminded, realistic, and flexible.

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 10/22/2008 12:26:37 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 12:31:19 PM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		nice little box you have created, possibly the reason you're having such difficulty in finding One? 

Thinking the whole idea is to do things the Dommes has in mind as well as fulfilling your own fetish list??

(in reply to Gladiator123)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 12:34:49 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think some get so far into the thought of what they desire, they can't see the road to actually making something happen.  I tend to stay away from people who have a vision or a plan as they project that upon any relationship they might enter.  It is all good to have an idea of what you want and seek, but to invision the skin color and what you will will do... is all about you and not service or submission.  If it has anything to do with submission, it is your submission to yourself or fantasy and not a person.  An ideal is great, even a fantasy, if they are based on reality or something that can happen and although what you invision could happen, is it realistic when actually dealing with a dominant?  And will your vision draw a dominant to you or make her run for the hills.

Listing how you want it to be just may prevent this from ever happening.  What happens if you find the best dominant for you and she is a blond?  Or has a different look or way about her?  Will you be so caught up in the dream of it all that you cannot see her?

(in reply to Shawn1066)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 12:42:29 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		If you're in fact as humble and obedient as you portray here, than you ought to change your approach from listing all these things to a lady, and instead try to court her attention and desire for you simply as a gentleman, than once she knows you are, the rest will likely fall into place.   M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Gladiator123)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 1:25:54 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		As I wrote recently to a sub who clearly wrote to Me about his <ahem>i deal situation--wow you've got it all here, doesn't leave much for a Domina to do.
 
When you leave the fantasy and the Director's chair at home, something real might begin.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Gladiator123)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 2:13:00 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Sometimes it's best to leave the wanker fantasies in your head and just focus on meeting the domme as a PERSON and see what she likes and such. Sure, dropping hints is one thing or if she asks a question you can drop one of your ideas. But to throw all of that in a woman's face is...well at least to me...unattractive.

You have everything worked out it seems, what's left for her to do? Sit and watch?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 4:22:45 PM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		Obviously, I can't speak for everyone, but... racial fetishes skeeve me out.
That was certainly my first red flag/eyeroll moment in reading your post.

All of the kinky black people that I personally know are similarly annoyed by this dynamic. The only time that I've seen someone play up to that brand of racial play was when they were Financial Dommes ("Give me your money, whiteboy!") So that could be your problem.

< Message edited by Coupleofwhats -- 10/22/2008 4:23:45 PM >

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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 4:34:31 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe you can not see the forest for the trees?

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RE: True desire to serve - 10/22/2008 9:10:56 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73
Maybe you can not see the forest for the trees?
Agreed...  I don't have a problem with anyone's preference. I think the reason the OP has been running into walls is because he's rushing right through to his desired end, without first showing he is a desirable gentleman (like talk to her, invite her out for a drink).   M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 10/22/2008 9:11:35 PM >

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 4:16:24 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Why oh WHY must every slave wanna be mention "I want to 'clean you' after using the toilet?"  Do they not hear how much that sounds like demanding to administer oral sex? 


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 5:05:54 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Gladiator:

Believe me, I know how hard it is to express a) how much you want to serve and submit but b) do that without listing fantasies.  It's a difficult thing to pull off (no pun intended!) because it can feel like two contradictory aims.  Yet it has to be done because, ultimately, D/s is not about your fantasies, it's about your (prospective) Domme's. 

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Gladiator123)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 5:24:49 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Bingo!  Peon is learning.

Of course, I always seem to get the ones who want to 'serve me anyway I want'... as long as it involves sexual contact.  Those who offer to do housework are always at least 500 miles away. 

ZERO took me up on my desire to have someone come dig up the privet hedge out of my back yard while I sat watching in a frilly white dress sipping iced tea last summer.  One did fantasize about it... but only if he could do it naked and shackled.  Don't think my neighbors would go for that.  One said he would bring the money to pay a crew of others to do it while he sat licking my shoes. 

I still have a back yard full of unwanted bushes.

My idea of "Service" never seems to match up with a sub's fantasies.


< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 10/23/2008 5:25:25 AM >

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 5:56:21 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Bingo!  Peon is learning.

Why thank you, Ms S.  But to me, at this stage, it's more about learning to convey things than anything else.  Once I met a Domme in a pub and she'd run out of cigs*.  She told me to go out and buy some more - and I went off happily to the shop with a huge trouser-tent.  Now I might once have put that in a post or in my profile, thinking that it would show a Domme how "keen" I was.  But, after brief experience here, I'd now be more concerned that a Domme would think, "Oh I see - he's demanding a Domme who's into ordering her sub to buy cigs*.  Boring - same old faker, dominating from underneath"

Most newbie subs wouldn't, I'd hazard a guess (because I've seen few sub profiles), do that - they'd go to the opposite extreme and list the far-out things they've fantasised about that.  But the same principle applies. 

I do wonder about how many of those mailers to Dommes who list their fantasies aren't  actually "dominators from underneath" - but real subs who've just made the wrong tactical assumption about how to convey the depth and strength of their sub feelings.   However, I'd certainly not have a better idea about how sort the wheat from the chaff than would a Domme. Thankfully I've never had to do that job.

[*She didn't actually use that particular word.  I'm just well aware that these boards get a lot of American readers.]


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RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 7:14:20 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		the title of your post is true desire to serve

what you've posted, is what YOU want -- not service
seems like a list of fantasies to me...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 7:21:28 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The intensity of the dynamic develops over time.. and when I read the OP I get the little voice in my head that says RUN>>RUN NOW>>FAR FAST>>>>STALKER ALERT.. maybe thats just me..but yikes " The job of a slave in my mind is the total closeness between a male and it's owner."" just want to be her faithful pet. Like a dog craving the attention of Master and what ever attention given. If she is married I would serve regardless! My life would be fulfilled knowing I served her well. To kiss her feet would be reward enough for me." that makes me nervous.



_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 7:34:59 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		OP this is a GREAT learning opportunity for you.  Look at what has been said here by a bunch of real life female dominants - ignore the snarky attitudes and listen to the message.  Take fantasy to reality and make a plan.  Look for and establish a connection to the person first, put your laundry list aside and listen to what She wants...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Gladiator123)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 7:53:01 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		The more specific your criteria are for who and what you are looking for, the smaller the potential pool of possible partners will become.

That can be great if you really know what you want.

If that is the case, stop whining and start finding other ways to meet potentials.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Gladiator123)
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RE: True desire to serve - 10/23/2008 8:05:49 AM   
Chi


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline 		Gladiator: There will always be those who will tell you the pursuit of fulfillment and happiness is wrong or attempt to tell you how they want you to find fulfillment but the reality is they are simply on here soliciting themselves and have neither the authority or training to tell you how to define what is driving you from within. Be specific in your goals, set them well beyond the mundane internet dommes and continue with your right to pursue happiness.

(in reply to Gladiator123)
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