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RE: True desire to serve - 10/24/2008 3:09:22 PM   
Gladiator123


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/20/2008
Status: offline 		I would like to thank everyone for their opinions and advise. Though I do believe I was being judged, rather than given viable solutions to Lifestyle That I have loved all my life. For whatever the reason,in no way am I a wanker. All that I have descibed in my desire to serve, was a reality for me many years ago. This is what I was trained for. A pampering slave. But again thank you all for your advise!
But with all do respect, to all those who have shown hostility to me undeservingly. My submission is to Woman! I am a 225 pound heavily muscled security specialist. Not a wanker! I have protected women all my life from them.
Thank you  

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: True desire to serve - 10/24/2008 3:45:27 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm glad to see that you are back, and defending your sincerity.  I stand by what I said, though, that your extreme definitions of "pampering" are not universally desired, and if you are coming out with that laundry list from the outset, you will be shunned my many women. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: True desire to serve - 10/24/2008 4:18:45 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The bottom line for me is being able to connect with someone on a personal level... appearance aside... bdsm aside... nothing matter's until we connect as people.  To decide that any submissive I will be with, will look like my fantasy... oh shit... I will be alone and die alone...lol  If I were to discribe him... I would go into the mental and emotional things he would be, before I went into.. his muscles.. where those muscles were and the scope of them.  I can tell you what he won't be though.  He won't be someone who cannot see ME and that includes flaws as well as those things that are not all that faulty.  I will not be a dream or a fantasy... I will be me, even if I can make a fantasy come true, be a real dream or a nightmare...hehe.


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: True desire to serve - 10/24/2008 4:39:58 PM   
Chi


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline 		Gladiator: Thank you for sharing both your mission and the fact you are a man of conviction, from the onset I read a sincerity in your words and am firmly convinced when you find what you seek you will serve with distinction honor and a level of focused dedication that outstretched the wildest imagination of those who have attacked you. 

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: True desire to serve - 10/25/2008 8:04:07 AM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gladiator123
Though I do believe I was being judged, rather than given viable solutions to Lifestyle That I have loved all my life.


It sounds like you're fairly new to discussion boards.  If you feel that the responses you got here were judgmental and hostile, you'll want to develop some thicker skin.  The CM forums are really pretty kind and tame.  Read some past threads where fellows have asked similar questions and you'll see that they've gotten similar responses.  Actually, they don't usually get as many constructive responses as you've gotten. 

quote:

For whatever the reason,in no way am I a wanker.


The common theme in the responses you've gotten appears to be that you're giving the impression that you're a wanker, and that if that's an inaccurate impression it's up to you to correct it.  I've gotten a lot of email from fellows that reads very much like your original post to this thread.  It appears that the other women who've posted to this thread have gotten a lot of them, too.  When I've responded to these fellows in the past it was a waste of time.  As others have said, it's all about his fantasy and not about service or submission.  I don't respond to those emails anymore.  You may be nothing like those fellows, but if you use the same approach that they use your email is going to get deleted right along with theirs. 

If you aren't one of those guys, don't behave the way those guys behave.  If you read back through the responses you've gotten, you'll get a pretty good idea of what it is you're putting out there that is giving women the wrong impression.  You'll also find some suggestions for things you can do to give the right impression.  FullfigRIMaam wrote, "try to court her attention and desire for you simply as a gentleman,"  Usako wrote, "focus on meeting the domme as a PERSON and see what she likes and such."  There were others who offered suggestions.

quote:

All that I have descibed in my desire to serve, was a reality for me many years ago.  This is what I was trained for.


To me, the value in knowing a fellow has been trained is that it shows that he may be trainable.  "This is what I was trained for" the way you're using it here feels a little to me like "I'm trying to recreate that relationship," or "I'm inflexible and this is all I can do."  I don't know about you, but no two relationships I've ever had were the same.  The people were different, the way we connected was different.  Every dominant woman you approach is going to have her own ideas about what she wants from her sub/slave.  It's really offputting when a fellow tells me that he wants to serve me thus-and-so because that's the way his ex-mistress trained him.  It feels like he's trying to train me to be his ex-mistress. 


The bottom line is that you're kind of putting the cart before the horse.  Whether or not you must have a relationship that includes all of those specific intimacies is really beside the point.  You're not a pup, so you've certainly asked a woman out a time or three.  You didn't introduce yourself to them by going into detail about intimate stuff you'd want to do if the relationship got serious.  That isn't an appropriate way to introduce yourself to a dominant woman, either. 

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: True desire to serve - 11/27/2008 7:05:41 AM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline 		deleted, as this thread is pretty much all in,.


< Message edited by MissEnchanted -- 11/27/2008 8:05:09 AM >

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: True desire to serve - 11/27/2008 11:20:11 AM   
QueenIsis


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		I guess that out of all the Dommes who have answered, I'm the only one who doesn't think your approach is too you-centered. Of course you have desires you want met! Perhaps I can realize this, as I was a sub in a previous life and you can bet there were things I wanted and didn't want, and things I fantasized about and wanted greatly...in retrospect, tho, I do have to admit that I realized I wasn't really submissive, but more like a bottom w/a strong desire to spoil, or serve, my man, but it had to be by MY inclinations, not his; Lord, I hated being TOLD how to serve when I would've showered him w/spoiledness if left to my own devices...but that's neither here nor now.
 
In any case, I'm saddened you're in New Jersey, cuz I certainly could use a sub of your ilk (tho I don't know how many white guys - which I have specifically asked for at another site - would consider me black enough for them, as I'm very light-skinned, in fact, fairer than many caucasians; I get the feeling white guys who want black girls want 'em dark so it's a seeable difference); I'd rather get a message like yours than like the ones I do get for the most part, the ones that include all the sexual stuff a sub wants done or is willing to do. As a vanilla, I was not willing to just hop in the sack right off the back, and now, as a Domme, I'm not willing to play or have sex right off the rip, I need to know my pet and have a relationship w/him first, for without the foundation, our house will fall.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: True desire to serve - 11/27/2008 11:38:40 AM   
QueenIsis


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		I just reread my post and it seems more a dosier on myself than an answer to your question, so I'll now give you mine.
 
Since the majority of Dommes answered that your list of fantasies may be off-putting, you may want to tone it down a bit, but do include a general description of what you like/desire on your Profile. Also, I know it's time-consuming, but make sure that you complete your list of Likes and Dislikes. Unless it's a big thing for you, leave out all the sex stuff and just have your list of "Loves" and "Live Fors", which will reflect want you're about. If you look at my Profile, you'll note that most of the list is things I Love and Live For or Hate and Hard Limit; I did it this way so any sub who looks at mine knows exactly what he's in for, knows the kind of things he'll be subjected to and the things he will not be permitted. Makes it a little easier, I think.
 
In regards to whether or not you list your affinity for black women, I'm not sure. Like I said, I've listed that I wanted white guys at dating places and it's not been a hindrance for me. Also, as a light-skinned black woman, I've had a life full of dark-skinned black guys telling me their first draw to me was my skin color, so I'm used to being desired for my color, and it doesn't bother me now, either. One note on this, though; make it clear that you DO want to know the woman inside because a Domme very well may construe it as you only want to be w/her because of her color, and she may wonder what will happen when the novelty wears off.
 
Hope this helped...By the by, if you wanna move to Youngstown, Ohio, I could use you.     

(in reply to QueenIsis)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: True desire to serve - 11/27/2008 1:19:21 PM   
LadySunn


Posts: 102
Joined: 7/19/2008
Status: offline 		I want you to dress like a Gladiator. 

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: True desire to serve - 11/27/2008 9:35:33 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Serving another should not be so much about personal fantasies, but fulfilling the desires and passions of the one that is dominant.
Not all pleasures are physical. Some dominants also enjoy being intellectual or spiritual as well.
Fantasies matter little to a dominant unless the dominant asks.
The sub/slave is there for their dominant.

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 12:05:47 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Do I want to hear his fantasy at some point in the discussion? Yes. Many people don't know how to boil down exactly what they want, but listening to a couple fantasies will make it clear exactly what the person is looking for. But I don't want it as the introduction, and I don't want it without my asking for it, thank you very much.

On here I am much more liable to do a quick "compatible kink check" early on and then move "backward" into more general conversation. But, for example, since I'm not into CD or watersports, if he is, it's best we find that out early on. Otherwise I wind up getting annoyed because he won't shut up about wanting me to pee on him or whatever, and why go there if I can avoid the annoyance?

Part of what attracted me to my boy is that he is a gentleman, and polite, and did not get all pushy. Pushy is not part of submissive. Submissive is that this happens at my pace.

I don't think there's anything wrong with him having a liking for Black dominant women. I personally like big girls as vanilla partners, or at least ones where I can't see their hipbones and they have a little outcurve to their belly. I like tall dark men. But you can recognize there are physical traits that turn your crank and still be open to something lovely (like the barely taller than me blond guy I fell in love with nineteen years ago) that you weren't expecting.

Finding someone, whether from the dominant or the submissive end, does require being honest with yourself if you want a good, healthy, lasting relationship out of it.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 5:06:58 AM   
Gladiator123


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/20/2008
Status: offline 		Dear Queen Isis.
I am trying to locate your profile, but cannot. Distance does not hinder me. It is of no consequence to me, the shade of your skin. It is the culture, passion, and as a based natured male. The scent of an EBONY LADY. This has always been my preference. In no way is it a fad.
Humbly:
Gladiator

(in reply to QueenIsis)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 6:25:57 PM   
QueenIsis


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		Gladiator, My Profile is findable now; it was "Temporarily Hidden" due to supposedly objectionable content, but what the content was, I'm still not positive. I changed what I thought might be considered a problem, but if it was, there are some really thin-skinned persons on here, persons who maybe shouldn't claim how much they like humiliation cuz the word "fat" is nothing (tho in my case, I do spell it PHAT *lol*) compared to what they'd get if they were Mine! 

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 8:02:49 PM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hold on... isn't gladiator the same person that posted on another thread that he is dating a woman, hiding the fact he is submissive, has been "pampering" her so that she loves being treated like a queen and asked if he was being decietful or not?

What happened to her gladiator?

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to QueenIsis)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 8:17:28 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Wooohooo and I thought the soaps were off for the holiday!  I get a fix... of CM soaps... Hell... this keeps up and we might have a segment of ER right here!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to MistressFaye1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 8:37:21 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I'm just curious. 

Have you ever actually changed pantiliners, menstrual pads or  tampons for a Woman during her cycle? 

Or are you obcessing over what you think it would be like to do so?

Have you ever pulled out a woman's discarded menstrual pads or tampons from the refuse, held them or played with them?

Or is this merely some obcession over what you imagine it to be?

Serious questions for the OP..... 

I expect a serious response.

TM

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to Gladiator123)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 8:42:09 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL... That was too much ER for me... blood... ewwww... But absolutly funny!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 8:53:43 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I appreciate the humor, it certainly borders on TMI - but if not here then where?

It's not as if scat, showers and blood play are new or verboten topics on the boards, I meant the question seriously.

If 'glad' has in fact taken a step towards real life experience that direction then some serious blood obcessions are going on.  I've certainly known subs who craved caring for a menstruating female.  Hardly shocking.  To each their own fetish.

If, on the other hand, 'glad' is just daydreaming about how delightfully taboo it would be to muck about with menstrual play without having any real clue what the activity will look like, feel like, taste like or smell like, then we're simply dealing with a vanilla post calculated to generate copy on the boards, at the very least.

All the best,

TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 11/28/2008 9:02:19 PM >

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: True desire to serve - 11/28/2008 9:00:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		No... I think asking all of that was great!  Reality is far different and you are addressing that part of his post that does need to be addressed.  I'm not sure if it was talked about.  I know I didn't!  I just thought it all funny and am in an odd mood.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: True desire to serve - 11/29/2008 9:22:23 AM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Wooohooo and I thought the soaps were off for the holiday!  I get a fix... of CM soaps... Hell... this keeps up and we might have a segment of ER right here!


Any given day...  I see the soaps on the posts. 

I do love the fact that so many have questioned and asked hard questions in order to make glad think about, realistically what it is he wants.

If not for the other thread he started, I would have actually seen his "desires" as a possible true level of submission he wanted to strive for.  A goal so to speak.  As he explored each of these, the reality may not have been as glorious as he thought.

So many times what we wish for and the reality of actually having that deletes the fantasies of our mind.

I often tell folks... some fantasies are better kept just that.

Faye

< Message edited by MistressFaye1 -- 11/29/2008 9:24:22 AM >

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 60
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