RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone - 10/25/2008 10:06:22 AM

Nefric

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline

DavanKael, While I am very new to the lifestyle when I thought about your question I would have to say that I to draw a distinction, between the two. I could do both with the same person and when I think about it how I eel about my wife falls into doing both. My wife is very very vanilla and she is the one that I love the deepest and who holds first priority in my life. If I find a sub/pet to bring into my life I may feel affection for them but the fact that they belong to me lays a responisbility for them and to them on me. Both love and belonging are choices in my mind, every day I wake up and decide that I love my wife and each day any sub wakes up and decides that they belong to their Dom, and the same for the Dom decides that their sub belongs to them.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone - 10/25/2008 5:09:04 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

i think when a person loves you it affects their ownership of you. Ownership without love is based purely on service, not feelings or emotions, so being an obedient sub, one who serves well and can adapt to their doms wishes and needs would be very important to that dynamic. If there is no love and the sub serves poorly, she can be easily replaced. If there a strong desire to be owned the sub will be self motivated to serve, not inspired by the love she feels to serve.

In a love based relationship i would think that the relationship was primary and service would be motivated by the feelings generated between the two in love.

So yes i do distinguish between the two - in one i can serve with passion, maybe not perfection, and still be valued for the service i bring to the dom because the foundation is love not ownership. my motivation to please and serve is what will make me strive to be perfect not the fact that if i don't i will be replaced.

Wow velvet, i have to disagree that without love a sub is only motivated by the desire to not be replaced. Many submissive people i know are motivated solely by their desire to serve and to please. They do not need to love their Master or Mistress to worship or respect them, or to desire to make them happy. I think service can be just as important in a relationship that never goes beyond friendship. Caring perhaps is what is needed.

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to velvetears)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone - 10/25/2008 9:51:20 PM

TazDevil

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

yes there is love is a varey odd thing, you fall in love with some one who noting like you, or evreything, who evreything you ever whatted or noting, I find one in D's going nalla over love all the time, and the other way arond, out of love... and boy love is odd

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Belonging to Someone vs Being Loved by Someone - 10/26/2008 9:37:37 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
Do you distinguish between belonging to someone vs being loved by someone and/or someone belonging to you vs loving someone?
Davan

i think when a person loves you it affects their ownership of you. Ownership without love is based purely on service, not feelings or emotions, so being an obedient sub, one who serves well and can adapt to their doms wishes and needs would be very important to that dynamic.

If there is no love and the sub serves poorly, she can be easily replaced. If there a strong desire to be owned the sub will be self motivated to serve, not inspired by the love she feels to serve.

In a love based relationship i would think that the relationship was primary and service would be motivated by the feelings generated between the two in love.

So yes i do distinguish between the two - in one i can serve with passion, maybe not perfection, and still be valued for the service i bring to the dom because the foundation is love not ownership. my motivation to please and serve is what will make me strive to be perfect not the fact that if i don't i will be replaced.

Feelings and emotions aren't restricted to *loving* someone. Owning someone without *love* also doesn't mean it's a service based relationship or necessarily an important aspect of it.

People have relationships of all kinds where aspects such as deep respect, mutual affection, commitment and compatibility are the main drives. It's not *love* that motivates M to do a good job as my owner and it's not *love* that has motivated me to follow him for years.

You can still be valued for what you bring to a relationship whether you are loved or not.

agirl

(in reply to velvetears)

Profile

Post #: 44