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The kind of people who have a problem with families, are not the kind of people you want IN your family.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I take something of a harsher stance- they want to be your roommates, you should treat them like roommates.  They get extra perks of knowing the personalities, styles and knowing you'd be there in emergencies and stuff, but that doesn't mean they get to intrude on your personal life.  They COULD find other roommates and tough it out if they had to.

So just say "We're together"  As long as the servant isn't intruding on their space, their stuff, their hearing, or doing things that generally roommates do to irritate eachother, then there's really nothing to say.

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

....Neither of the girls will be involved in the time we spend with our servants, aside from things like the fact that some of the dishes will be theirs, or some of the laundry that needs to be attended to. Because of the amount of time it takes for us to feel comfortable welcoming someone as a member of the household, chances are good that our new servants and our girls would merely cross-in-passing on occasion. By the time we were ready to welcome one full-time, he'd know the girls and everyone would be comfortable (or, if there is any justice in the world, the girls will be off on their own!).

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Ok, I have a question, as it's a new experience for us, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

We have two young ladies living with us. They're new adults, and are our offspring,  they've signed 'room-mate' contracts with us at an affordable rent, and it looks unlikely, due to economic and educational requirements, that they'll be heading out on their own any time in the next couple of years. Both of them are aware of our way of life, etc., and actually grew up with it, so it's something they've always sort of known. One is in the fetish industry and body-mod industry herself, and is exploring fetish photography as well. The other is an artist and essential hermit, whose work is extremely outre, and deals with deviant and extreme subject matter, and as long as we leave her alone to draw and don't bother her with socialization, she's pretty much cool with anything that goes on around her. An atom bomb could go off in the living room, and as long as it didn't shake her hand while she was drawing, she wouldn't give two hoots or a holler. However, she despises having -anyone- go in her room for any reason... she truly is a hermit.

Neither of the girls will be involved in the time we spend with our servants, aside from things like the fact that some of the dishes will be theirs, or some of the laundry that needs to be attended to. Because of the amount of time it takes for us to feel comfortable welcoming someone as a member of the household, chances are good that our new servants and our girls would merely cross-in-passing on occasion. By the time we were ready to welcome one full-time, he'd know the girls and everyone would be comfortable (or, if there is any justice in the world, the girls will be off on their own!). However, they -are- still in the household now, and it doesn't look like they'll be moving out any time soon... at least not for the next year to 2 years... so how would folks handle explaining them to potential s-types considering our household?

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Ok, I have a question, as it's a new experience for us, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

We have two young ladies living with us. They're new adults, and are our offspring, 

so how would folks handle explaining them to potential s-types considering our household?

Thanks in advance

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ORIGINAL: yourMissTress


 

What she said. 

You are talking about bringing people into your home and your life.  The kind of people who have a problem with families, are not the kind of people you want IN your family.

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ORIGINAL: TreasureKY


First, I would be squicked.

While it may be perfectly acceptable for some people to share their sexual lives with their progeny, I did not grow up that way.  What my parents got up to between themselves, stayed between them.  Personally, I really didn't then and don't now want to know what revved their motors.  The idea that anyone would grow up and be accustomed to a particular kink leads me to believe that what went on in the bedroom didn't stay in the bedroom.  That would be a fundamental difference in worldviews from my own.

Don't get me wrong... I fully believe in educating and open communication.  Just not by demonstrating.

Additionally I would be put off on the idea of sharing my own proclivities with persons other than my intended partner.  While I signed on to be Firm's submissive for him and him alone, I did not do so with the idea that I would have an audience.  No matter who they are.  Sure, if he wants to dress me in next to nothing and have me crawling from room to room on all fours while I clean house, that is fine if it is just he and I.  But to require the same behavior when there is someone else present, even an adult relative, would be unacceptable to me.  It would be asking me to share myself (a private part of me) with someone I don't have that kind of relationship with.

As for how to bring this type of thing up with a potential?  I agree with the others in this thread that I see nothing wrong with how you've described your situation here.  It's just that some won't like the idea.

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ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

Then again, I have had dominants who are very uncomfortable with my mother's knowledge of my BDSM side. I served a master who was appalled at her knowing to the point where it actually caused some friction between me and him - him refusing to meet her once he knew she knew he was more than a "boyfriend".

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW



It's been the potential s-types who have actually had the nerve to tell us that having our kids still living home is -wierd-, and that if they were going to submit to us, we'd have to "get rid" of our girls, and that they should be out on their own anyway.

The first time, I just boggled and invited the gentleman to depart... the

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 . so how would folks handle explaining them to potential s-types considering our household? 

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I take something of a harsher stance- they want to be your roommates, you should treat them like roommates.  They get extra perks of knowing the personalities, styles and knowing you'd be there in emergencies and stuff, but that doesn't mean they get to intrude on your personal life.  They COULD find other roommates and tough it out if they had to.

So just say "We're together"  As long as the servant isn't intruding on their space, their stuff, their hearing, or doing things that generally roommates do to irritate eachother, then there's really nothing to say.

The problem isn't with our girls. They're great, and we treat them like we would any other room-mates. They don't mess with us, except to occasionally help with makeup. We share the kitchen and laundry. The girls' rooms are theirs -- private space. The hermit gets lost in hers, and that's all good, and we respect that she wants to clean hers herself, and doesn't want anyone touching her things or going through her artwork without her express invitation, but that's the same courtesy we treat one another with, and we'd expect it of anyone who came into the house.

The challenge has been with the "prospectives"... and more with the male than with the female -- but trust me, we don't need another drop of estrogen in this house right now without some testosterone (besides mine) to balance it out. It's been the potential s-types who have actually had the nerve to tell us that having our kids still living home is -wierd-, and that if they were going to submit to us, we'd have to "get rid" of our girls, and that they should be out on their own anyway. The first time, I just boggled and invited the gentleman to depart... the second time, I thought that maybe it was something in my presentation.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

the idea of exposing the sexual/intimate nature of the dynamic to your children...even your grown children...strikes them as squicky.  And in all honesty...speaking for myself only here as a male...I know my female ums are having sex;  one of them even made me a grandfather BUT I don't really need to hear, let alone see, how they do it.