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RE: New adults, still around - 10/25/2008 10:20:02 AM

Nefric

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/8/2008
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Calla I can see no problems as long as your potential servants understand the girls background and understand the boundaries that you set inside the household. As with any lifestyle that is not viewed as mainstream there will be people who just won't understand and just judge the situation from the stand point of ignorance. Not much you can do about those folks. I do have to commend you and your household for raising your girls in a obviously loving environment. What you have done in the past has worked nicely, so if it ain't broke....

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

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Post #: 61

RE: New adults, still around - 10/25/2008 12:29:25 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

the idea of exposing the sexual/intimate nature of the dynamic to your children...even your grown children...strikes them as squicky. And in all honesty...speaking for myself only here as a male...I know my female ums are having sex; one of them even made me a grandfather BUT I don't really need to hear, let alone see, how they do it.

I don't think Calla is beating the servants in front of the kids.

In one of her posts, Calla did mention that there may indeed be bottoming going on within the house while her kids are there and they may witness it. That part bothers me. ~shrugs~ my feelings on the matter. If I am mistaken, then perhaps Calla will note that to me.

quote:

I think it is more that they are witnessing, to me at least, everyday expressions of who/what the servants are.

I do not see an issue with that anymore than i see an issue with them seeing a married couple hold hands or call each other dear.

It is possible, even admirable, to be able to freely be who you are without exposing others to acts that are intimate.

But then again i raised all 3 of mine in a biker poly M/s household. That does not mean they witnessed inappropriate acts. It means the did see the basic, affectionate behavior involved in the dynamic. Like me always waiting on their dad.

So what, i've seen my bi switch daughter holding hands with her partner.

And guess what, all of my grown kids are open, respectful, tolerant, responsible people. All three own their own homes, are college grads, one is a nurse, one is a veterinarian, one is a corporate vice president.

Only one is in the lifestyle while two are bi.

I guess if it squicks you out, well then it does.

None of what you wrote above squicks me out. I have no problem watching my daughters kiss and cuddle their boyfriends and can even smile a bit when I see a hand slipped surreptitiously over my daughters' asses or their boyfriends' bulges. I expect them to have no problem with watching me kiss and hug and touch...at one time...their mother OR any other woman I am involved with. But no...I don't expect them to have to endure watching me spank a clothed, semi-clothed, or naked, grown woman in front of them and I don't care to watch them beat/be beat by, fuck or suck their partners. If my words came across as not being able to tolerate anything more than prim and proper, than I wrote them wrong. And you haven't read many of my other posts.

quote:

I would rather associate with folks who can be accepting about all the varied, wonderful, different ways of loving that life has to offer.

It almost sounds to me, from the posters who this upsets to one degree or another, that any demonstration or evidence out of the ordinary vanilla realm, is not something to be displayed.

And while that is all fine and good, twice...some believe that exposing others to the BDSM part of the dynamic, whether it be topping or bottoming or dominant/submissive play, is involving others without their consent. And while it may be fine to do it in public/private in front of other like-minded individuals who get it, I have no desire...as I've stated before...to do it in front of my family members or others who do not. I don't think that makes me close-minded...or my friends or family members close-minded...it just makes us all aware of the societal rules WE have chosen to follow.

quote:

CD, you say you are a grandpa (kudos btw, aren't grandkids wonderful, i have five myself) so you know but just do not want to witness the act. Don't you ever see your child and their mate kissing or holding hands?

Why is that intimacy different than one of Calla's servants bringing her a drink respectfully in front of her grown kids?

I've answered the above in regards to observing what goes on between my kids and their partners and what they have observed. I disagree that the intimacy of affection between loving partners is different than the intimacy of a servant delivering a drink to their boss/master/mistress/owner.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

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Post #: 62

RE: New adults, still around - 10/25/2008 4:02:20 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

In one of her posts, Calla did mention that there may indeed be bottoming going on within the house while her kids are there and they may witness it. That part bothers me. ~shrugs~ my feelings on the matter. If I am mistaken, then perhaps Calla will note that to me.

CD,

I'm not sure how this fits in with your idea, but I'll quote something I said earlier in the thread about the situation in our household, with the parts relevant to what seems to be bothering you bolded out.

quote:

I probably should clarify, and say that what our daughters 'know' about our way of life, in terms of having seen it or grown up around it, deals with two particular aspects (1)The keeping of servants -- think Clarence the Butler or Tijan the maid or a well-trained geisha rather than Tom the Kinky Window Boy. The difference is in the source of the dynamic... the personal nature of the desire to serve, rather than commercial nature as in having a cleaning service or a more sexual/sensual D/s relationship.

There may be 'bottoming' going on -- piercing, cutting and burning scenes which I'm not sure how most folks consider those -- for me, they're a blood-sport thing, and fetish, but not sexual. Bottoming for one of my scenes isn't anything different than one of the girls would see working as a body-mod artist (which one is training to become), and the other one sees more at a life drawing session than she sees when someone is bottoming for a temporary piercing, needle-weaving, cutting, or branding. I "top" these scenes only in that I am the one doing the 'doing', and I -do- occasionally 'bottom' to other artists/piercing/tattooing tops. There is nothing sexual in any of the T/b stuff that I do.

My Darling doesn't T/b -- she's strictly protocol D/s, and the open aspect of it in our household is strictly service oriented (see Clarence the Butler above). She does do some more intense scening, CBT, wax play and mind-f*ck, but the scening she -does- do is -always- either private or in a very circumspect small private play group. I am the -only- one who tops for large public scenes, or practices some of the body-mod aspects of my own fetish play in the home where the girls could see it. Aside from the occasional "fun flogging", we're not big on the 'all around' open or large-group public dungeon play, and all I do for those is either piercing or branding (I don't even do cutting in open public play, because the cleanup can be a bear if you have a bleeder, and I like to be able to control everything about the environment, including temperature and space when I'm cutting.)

Hope this answers your questions. If not, feel free to ask.

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/25/2008 4:04:00 PM >

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(in reply to CreativeDominant)

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Post #: 63

RE: New adults, still around - 10/25/2008 4:33:19 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

yeah, that would be kind of creepy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Can you imagine your dentist telling you about the hard on he got while working on some hot patient he had that morning?

(in reply to TreasureKY)

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Post #: 64