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Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 8:58:41 PM

StarmanJr

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/7/2008
Status: offline

Hey there.

So, lets say one's new to the whole scene. What useful nuggets of information or wise anecdotes would ya tell em? Any useful information, websites, etc?

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:02:06 PM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

Be careful! There are a lot of great people on here, there are also a few certifiable psychos. Hang around here, ask lots of questions. Try to attend local munches. Don't let the excitment of trying something new override your good judgement.

_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:02:22 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

most useful nugget i can think of :

life doesnt revolve around BDSM, BDSM revolves around life

welcome to the boards :)

pj

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:08:14 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Sometimes it is better to be -kind-, than to be -right-.

Welcome to the boards. Read a lot, post a bit, and enjoy yourself.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:08:39 PM

slavelet

Posts: 42
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

Welcome StarmanJr!

Search every topic of even remote interest to you right here on these boards!

The information is invaluable, and you will he quite entertained by the writing styles of a lot of the posters.

i have garnered an amazing amount of new ways to look at things going on around me...

And you will get a lot of insight on what can be a red flag warning from some of the... ummm loose marble types. That could save you a lot of time, trouble and heartache as well as keep you safe!

Good luck!
slavelet

_____________________________

Don't sweat the petty stuff...just pet the sweaty stuff

Fear me ~ i am the killer of threads

Kindly disregard one of the above sig lines.

i am not a pain slut... i am a sensation slut

cunning stunt

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:21:37 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Long Live sex drugs and rocking roll

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:24:11 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out.
And if you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SailingBum)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:34:50 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

never give money to any one for any circumstance, unless you're already involved with them and have been for a long time, and know they're trust w*orthy. And even then think twice about loaning money. And when you loan it never expect to get it back, but be pleasantly supprised when you do get it back.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:40:15 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Listen to your inner voice - if it tells you to run away from a situation or a relationship, do it!

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There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 9:58:51 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StarmanJr

Hey there.

So, lets say one's new to the whole scene. What useful nuggets of information or wise anecdotes would ya tell em? Any useful information, websites, etc?

Know yourself.
Have fun.
Ask lots of questions, of yourself.
Have fun.
Read a lot. Here, there, everywhere.
Have fun.
Every answer you find, ask yourself "would that be right for me?"
Have fun.

This is all about you. There is no right way or wrong way to do any of this. There is only what is right for you, what works for you, and eventually when you find a partner, what works for the two of you.

Have fun.

There is no "one true way" or any other combination of words that imply that there's a rule book to BDSM. If anyone tells you differently, understand that they have an agenda, and it's not about helping you.

Oh, and the one thing I forgot to say, it's just a little important....

HAVE FUN.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 10:08:22 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Communicate
Communicate
Communicate
Communicate

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 10:08:44 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Ask questions..take what works for YOU, discard the rest..

and in case MissTress didn't mention it? HAVE FUN!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 10:13:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Start here.

My advice for Novice Female Submissives

Newbie!

At a loss

I'm a new domme seeking advice

Does a slave also have to be a fool?

sub: totally new concept

Questions for other newbies

The Journey

Starting Out

New to the Life, Help

How to deal?

Request for Advice

Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries

First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master?

First time sub seeking advice

a newbie seeking advice

How can I be a great sub?

Brand new life

Help needed

Emotional Rollercoaster

Welcoming newbies

New to this

Just a few questions

Do's and Dont's

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 10:23:16 PM

Flogmaster

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

Be Honest in your approaches, keep an open mind, trust your own senses of a person, and By ALL means ask questions, don't even try to fake your way through it'll come back on you...

_____________________________

OMG!! you can do that to me!!

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/23/2008 10:43:52 PM

SlaveSimone

Posts: 95
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Denver, Co
Status: offline

Don't throw out every thing you've learned about relationships thus far in your life, it will still come in handy, as the basic foundations of any relationships will always be the same, vanilla or otherwise. Just keep your head screwed on tight, and have fun!

Good luck,

Simone

(in reply to Flogmaster)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/24/2008 3:44:42 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Don't eat yellow snow.

John

P.S. - BDSM does not descend upon you like the Holy Spirit, making you into something you are not. You tailor BDSM to suit you.

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/24/2008 3:46:01 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

QR

Don't tell your Mistress she hits like a girl.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Rover)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/24/2008 3:56:02 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

FR

There is no right or wrong, dont let 'fitting in' keep you from being you, and beware of semantics

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to thishereboi)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/24/2008 4:34:04 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

P.S. - BDSM does not descend upon you like the Holy Spirit, making you into something you are not. You tailor BDSM to suit you.

Damn it Rover, next you are going to tell me that Scooter is not really God!

And on the subject; trust your instincts. Always use a safe call when meeting some one new. Keep you money and your identity in your pocket.

And to echo another remember, Have Fun. If you are not enjoying something, you should stop doing it.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Rover)

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RE: Tips for a newbie - 10/24/2008 4:54:17 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

Embracing this life does not absolve you of your daily responsibilities.

Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.

SSC still applies, embracing BDSM isn't a condom against disease.

Don't use this to hide from reality--it will haunt you like a dog.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to StarmanJr)

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