RE: What does "training" mean to you?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What does "training" mean to you?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What does "training" mean to you?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 10/28/2008 8:12:06 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What you want would be useless to me. Perhaps you plan to train people in bootblacking, but if the person they enter into a relationship with is a sneaker person then this skill would be a waste of time.

What he trained me first to do is make his tea the way he likes it. Which doesn't happen to involve balancing it on my naked tush. Instead he wants it out in the kitchen as a lure to get him out of bed. I doubt you are training people to say "coffee's done, come and get it" but for him that's how he wants it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 10/28/2008 11:36:14 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

~FR~
When I hear training I think of training a dog to sit, lay, roll over... you get the picture.

If others wish to call it "training" that's their prerogative, but I don't get it, nor do I like it. In fact, I dislike the term very much, I think it's stupid... IMO. Not to say those of you who say they're in "training" are stupid.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 10/29/2008 5:34:51 AM

StrictlyDom59

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/27/2008
Status: offline

In my experience, training is closer to what Gabrielle Slave observed. It is teaching a new "skill" or doing something the sub/slave has not done before. This may be because it is something the Dom requires or wants to try OR because the slave wants to expand her horizons in pleasing the Dom. I've also worked with newbie D/s and S/m couples who just don't know how to do things safely or how to elicit a particular response. This, too, is training. Really, and IMHO, it's nothing more than learning or skill transfer.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 10/30/2008 9:45:59 PM

monywildcat

Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

As many others have stated, no one in any Happy Subbie School is going to "train" me how Daddy likes his socks folded, I get to learn such things in real life. However, if this Happy Subbie School has classes on Automative Painting and Bodywork 101, I'm there. A course to help me with my hand/eye control so I can totally whoop Daddy's ass at Grand Turismo 4? Where do I send my check? How about teaching various wrestling techniques so I can really spice up our wrasslin' about? Or how about massage technique? I could certainly use more of that skill. Train my hands not to get tired and numb, that would be valuable. Daddy would thank you, and we would star in the informercial.

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to StrictlyDom59)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 10/31/2008 5:37:16 PM

XaviersXian

Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

In my (humble) opinion, "training" is a euphemism for play and sex. Maybe it makes people feel less as if they are having fun, and more like they are actually learning something they might need. I'm guessing that the dom gets a feeling of superiority out of it - apart from the sexual charge.

greetings to all,

This is not always true. At one point in my journey, (with the permission of my Master) I was trained by a Dom who had no interest in sexual relations with me as a way to "train" me. He taught me the mindset of a slave, and how to enjoy submission, by fixing and moulding my mental state, not ordering me to get Him off. I actually performed offline acts that I had never had the courage to perform before, because of the confidence He had instilled in me. When He ordered me to write to Him as a way of punishment, I did, feeling as if it was my Master's hand that had punished me. To this day, I feel blessed to have trained with Him, and grateful for every lesson He taught.

well wishes,

< Message edited by XaviersXian -- 10/31/2008 5:40:14 PM >

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/1/2008 5:19:59 AM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

I guess training would be similar to workshops. You may have a workshop/demonstration of, say, caning, flogging, needle play, pony play, health and safety... etc. During these workshops the attendees get some basic "training" in technique, vocabulary etc.

A specific organisation could, I guess, provide small class sizes, more one-to-one tuition.

Whilst there are places that will teach fellatio (I will never forget the row of dildos on the dining table, pure hilarity, really) once you know the basics, it becomes very much up to the individuals concerned in the specific act. "How to cane someone safely" is, however, a pretty standard thing to know. Even though you will go on to do many different other things with a cane, an overview of the basics, "From drumming to judicial and everything in between" is likely to be worthwhile/interesting to everyone who chooses to attend, even if that's not all person within a given community (not everyone likes canes).

So, yes, I see no problem with "training" schools, as long as you choose what you teach carefully, provide enough disclaimers not to get yourself sued when Jo-Dom wacks his sub wrong with the cane later that night, and use people who actually know what they're talking about to give the workshops/demos/classes etc.

Incidentally, I think they work well for tops and bottoms, and the idea that only subs need to be "trained" in skills is what is irking me. Certainly there's a potential for different skills to be required by tops and bottoms, but, *everyone* in a caning scene should know how to do it safely (the bottom so they can know when the top is doing it wrong and get out, if nothing else), YMMV.

(in reply to XaviersXian)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/1/2008 7:04:48 AM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

I tend to agree with you kiwisub on this.......Once i have the desire to please, that desire is the impetus for training..i want to know what you expect of me, your likes, dislikes..everything i can do to make your life easier and to make you smile....
If i don't have that desire, no amount of "training" is going to work........

On a slightly different note, years ago i wanted to learn more structured manners and protocol, so i approached a Dominant who maintained a higher protocol house to mentor me. Such structure isn't necessarily what i'd want to operate under on a daily basis, but if need be..in a D/s social situation where it might be required i now have some kind of working knowledge of what might be expected of my behaviour......and again, that could all change depending on my Dominant's wishes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
As an adult, i want to learn what pleases my Sir - and when he told me, i remembered. End of training.
As for the rest - my Sir and i played and we learned together what we enjoyed or didn't. No amount of "training" would replace what direct interaction with the two of us accomplished.

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/1/2008 8:15:13 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl
When I hear training I think of training a dog to sit, lay, roll over... you get the picture.

If others wish to call it "training" that's their prerogative, but I don't get it, nor do I like it. In fact, I dislike the term very much, I think it's stupid... IMO. Not to say those of you who say they're in "training" are stupid.

Girly... this so closely matches my own views. The word, in me, invokes images of creating automatic responses in subjects that do not generally have higher brain function of the sort found in most humans. Meaning, you can't tell a dog that if he lays down, he'll get a treat, but if you give him a treat every time he lays down, he'll soon be trained to lay down when he wants a treat (okay, before the dog whisperers respond, we'll say "for most dogs").

So it's my hangup with the word. If you go to a class you learn how to cook, you are "taking a class" or "learning to cook"... people don't generally say that you are going for training to cook.

I have learned, however, when in conversation with someone where that person is kind of young and seems a bit naive, if that person is gushing about "training", it is better to keep your opinion to yourself or risk receiving a punishment spanking later. *nod*nod*nod*

Cali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 11/1/2008 8:16:07 AM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to girlygurl)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/1/2008 10:13:26 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I think by far the most sensible comment here was made by LA that most people involved in D/s who are into training are not very good at it.

Training is behaviour modification? Really? So tell me where does discipline come into the equation then? Discipline is like effort, commitment, interest, it comes from within.

Training to me is using a theory and opportunities to practise and make use of that theory to gain a better insight, understanding, awareness, or knowledge of what it is that we're doing. For example there are various methods of cleaning. A toothpick dipped in lemon juice is the best way to clean out screw threads which attach legs to tables or doors to cupboards 9yes, when I clean cupboards I do clean the screws as well, after all it's part of the cupboard) or lemon juice and olive oil is suitable only on furniture made from light wood such as pine and teak, but never on mahogany or oak. Similarly there are effective ways to dust, polish, use a vacuum cleaner, iron, just as there are more effective ways of cooking.

It's like what I do in theatre. I 'train' actors. I do not modify their behaviour. i work on a theory which is my own interpretation of Stanislavski but combine this with the theories of Berne, Chomsky and Steiner and use elements from both the Waldorf education system and some techniques I picked up during my own training in the Polish film industry. I employ exercises, games and workshops to enable them to apply such theories to their work and to stimulate creativity so that they can get a better insight into what they are doing, have a better awareness of text, stage and audience, and ultimately perform better.

To me also training is and can be different from teaching. You can teach someone how to be able to do something without giving them any insight into the theory behind what you are teaching. I have taught English as a second language.. Students didn't need to know what a schwa is, but they needed to know enough to be able to communicate effectively in English.

This explains why some submissives aren't interested in training, simply because they aren't service submissives nor have they any wish to be service submissives. But most submissives I guess would like to be taught how to please their dominants in certain ways and this to me is where the difference lies between training and teaching.

Just my 0.02

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/1/2008 12:49:53 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline

Uhhhhhh.......learning what your master likes and what he expects of you...while also learning how he reacts to things and how he carries himself and how you should carry yourself around him.

Training ends when you know all this and it becomes second nature.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/2/2008 11:53:00 AM

Noelledoll

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

"Training" is a poor word for what is actually meant here. The D/s Lifestyle is different from the so-called normal orientation. The process of power tansfer is complex and needs to be understood. Submission is far more than allowing onself to be beaten senseless, or to do the beating..

To submit to one's Dom/me is to place one's life totally in Another's hands, because you KNOW that onlt then can you experience total freedom. This is by no means slavery.
The difference between slave and a submissive lies in the Dom/me or Master/Mistress.
A slave will give up her life for her One., THe Dom/me on the other will give up his/her life for the submissive. It is a complex lovely relationship, vaguely akin to a marriage with several important differences. This may turn into a book if I continue----sorry for being so presumptuous a newby
Love noelledoll

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: What does "training" mean to you? - 11/2/2008 12:09:53 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Training ends when you know all this

I tend to think that the trainee, being the less experienced person, or the person needing a new skill, determines themselves what they need to learn - as you illustrate when you define what training means to you. I see these profiles with "I'd like to be trained" without anything else, and I invariably mail 'em and ask 'em "in what?". Never an answer.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Profile

Post #: 52