RE: asking for a lil help

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: asking for a lil help

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: asking for a lil help

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 12:13:18 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

He is a sensitive guy and not a sadist. Awee, sweet.

Tolerate it or go. Why stay around trying to entice someone to beat you when he doesn't want to? Waste of time, energy and begging if you ask me. He doesn't need a masochist, he needs a therapist to help him understand why he chose to search here and choose a maso to begin with.

_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist

(in reply to mstrj69)

Post #: 21

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 12:53:32 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

The focus/paranoia about pregnancy seems to be rather prevalent a theme. No birth control option, short of abstainence, is 100%. If you're both sure you don't want to breed, you could both get snipped. Sure, it's possible that you and/or he may still remain fertile (And the cat that's sitting next to me might sprout wings, fly up, and start holding a conversation with me in Spanish) but it's really freakin' unlikely. There are a host of birth control options. There is the morning after pill. And, you know, there are ways to end unwanted pregnancies.
Davan

(in reply to mstrj69)

Post #: 22

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 6:26:54 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

(And the cat that's sitting next to me might sprout wings, fly up, and start holding a conversation with me in Spanish)

Now that's just silly. Why interject fantasy into an otherwise reality based conversation? When your cat flies over here he can't speak any foreign languages.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 23

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 6:27:39 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Assuming he's your age and doesn't want offspring then why doesn't he get a vasectomy? Takes half an hour in the doctor's office, two days with Tylenol and an ice pack, and no worries.

I'm assuming the allergies were to latex and/or jelly toys. Most people aren't going to be allergic to a paddling with a wooden hairbrush, or to a leather wrapped crop.

More importantly is his attitude. He's scared. And for that, you just need to talk things out assuming he wants things to work out. Because right now you have no sex and no play, which makes for a friendship, not a long lasting relationship. Personally I need a more intimate relationship to take orders from someone, I don't take them from just friends. Up to you to decide if the little you get is enough to sustain you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to mstrj69)

Post #: 24

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 9:59:21 AM

lilmissattitude

Posts: 36
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

well...blushes...i found out i was allergic to the latex toy He was inserting into my vagina...the burning became unbearable, while the play with it wasnt rough and i was more than wet enough for it not to burn. He has plenty of implements to beat me with...i dont think the two are linked, but thank you for your input.

i worry that that asking for someone else to beat me when He doesn't want to may sound like an ultimatum or a threat. but i am not sure i would be comfortable enough to let anyone else do it and if He said yes that would be bad.

(in reply to mstrj69)

Post #: 25

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:05:01 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

C'mon, the cat can fly, he's probably from Mexico.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 26

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:06:13 AM

lilmissattitude

Posts: 36
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

The focus/paranoia about pregnancy seems to be rather prevalent a theme. No birth control option, short of abstainence, is 100%. If you're both sure you don't want to breed, you could both get snipped. Sure, it's possible that you and/or he may still remain fertile (And the cat that's sitting next to me might sprout wings, fly up, and start holding a conversation with me in Spanish) but it's really freakin' unlikely. There are a host of birth control options. There is the morning after pill. And, you know, there are ways to end unwanted pregnancies.
Davan

since i know someone who had a vasectomy who got their partner pregnant after a couple of years and more than a couple who had their tubes tied/burned who have become pregnant...this is a possibility that must be considered. i would never take the morning after pill...it is MY (and mine alone for ME alone, not judging anyone else who has used or would use this method) belief that if i choose to have consensual sex with my partner and i have used birth control but still get pregnant...then...i...am...having a baby...oh and just to clarify...i dont think i used the word "BREED" at all.

getting "snipped" is a major surgery for the woman, as a single mother i cannot be out of work for 6 + weeks just in case the other forms of birth control dont work. as for the vasectomy, i have already commented on that.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 27

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:10:02 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

The focus/paranoia about pregnancy seems to be rather prevalent a theme. No birth control option, short of abstainence, is 100%.

I have a lot of family members who are conservative fundies. I just thought I would point out here what I so often go out of my way to point out to their teenagers.

'abstainence' is defined, by WAY to many people, as 'I didn't allow him to put his dick in my vee-jay-jay'

This is NOT a 100% sure birth control meathod.

The incidence of pregnancy amongst fundie young women who are still sporting a hymen is seriously on the rise.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to lilmissattitude)

Post #: 28

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:10:30 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Latex allergies aren't all that uncommon..

This is not, I think, about beating or not beating. First of all, you can't change another person. If they change, they do so of their own volition. Secondly, if you have an issue, you need to sort it out, and it should not be a major deal to make a list of possible solutions, together, with at the top: "I need it". If it really would be threatening, he is immature, and that is something the two of you would need to talk about and resolve. But don't come up with reasons not to do things, or not to discuss things, because the only place that leads is the unhappy place. Break out of the mould.

(in reply to lilmissattitude)

Post #: 29

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:11:17 AM

lilmissattitude

Posts: 36
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

DesFIP,

thank you for your input...just to let you know...after reading this and another thread, My Daddy Dom let go a lil last night and i got a lil of both. YAY!! i posted this on the other thread.

"---okay...the post seemed to have been started after reading my post. <looks to Whiplash> thank you ever so much. http://www.collarchat.com/m_2241339/tm.htm My Sir read the first part of your 4 + page thread and it helped Him to see what i was trying to say, perhaps because it didnt come from someone He felt He had disappointed, but someone who knew both sides of their own struggles and there are other ways to see what i was trying to say. "

this was the link to the thread if anyone wants to read it and see a lil of what i think may have helped my Sir

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2244085/mpage_1/tm.htm

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 30

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:18:31 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

some people who are into WIITWD are in it for different reasons. Some are into it for several reasons, but, for whatever reason, can not mesh those reasons together.
It is possible the your 'Daddy' has trouble being 'DaddyDom' to the same woman he beats.
You really, really need to work through this because, if that is the case, I predict that sooner or later He is going to want another woman in his life to fill THOSE needs.
If you are not poly, you will end up on the poly boards crying about that.
even if you are poly, this will probably be a problem - 'Wait a minute - you want a second slave just so you can do to her what I really, really want you to do to me but you refuse to do to ME?' See, that's probably gonna be an issue.
You might want to talk about it.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to mstrj69)

Post #: 31

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 10:58:47 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

John and antipode: Lol! :> Just asked the cat if she can speak Spanish, she jumped up, swished her tail, and trotted off, looking backward over her shoulder at me. Guess she's not telling...yet. < grin >

Lilmissattitude, you said: since i know someone who had a vasectomy who got their partner pregnant after a couple of years and more than a couple who had their tubes tied/burned who have become pregnant...this is a possibility that must be considered. i would never take the morning after pill...it is MY (and mine alone for ME alone, not judging anyone else who has used or would use this method) belief that if i choose to have consensual sex with my partner and i have used birth control but still get pregnant...then...i...am...having a baby...oh and just to clarify...i dont think i used the word "BREED" at all.
getting "snipped" is a major surgery for the woman, as a single mother i cannot be out of work for 6 + weeks just in case the other forms of birth control dont work. as for the vasectomy, i have already commented on that.

My reply: I believe I stated that you both could get snipped. And, yes, dear, if his semen gets anywhere in the vicinity of your vagina (As someone else said, it's not only about vaginal sex; those bodily fluids have a way of cooperating with physics and gravity and such), you may get pregnant. As you stated, you're a single mother who can not afford to take the 6+ weeks off if methods fail, so it's time to be super-pragmatic, wouldn't ya say?
Unless you are averse to all kinds of hormonal birth control, the morning after pill ought not be ruled out. Alot of ignorant individuals confuse that option with the abortion pill and the 2 are not the same, let me repeat for emphasis: the 2 are not the same (The morning after pill, often called Plan B, is typically a levnorgesterel-based mega-dose of birth control that, hopefully, keeps you from getting pregnant but will not end an existing pregnancy < And, I am allergic to bc pills and can use this, so allergy or sensitivity wouldn't preclude use > while the abortion pill, typically called RU-486 and a different compound entirely ends an early term pregnancy). Again, 2 different chemical compounds, 2 different purposes.
I used the term breed, yep, I did. I use it often and I'll do it again. Usually it is in this context: Most people should not breed.
Anyway, where in the world are you getting your medical information?! You having your tubes tied/ligated can be done as an outpatient procedure. Sure, it's more 'major' than a man getting snipped but it's not all that. You've been through child birth 4 times!
I couldn't care less if you breed with profusion as long as you can take care of, without sponging off of the system, that which you create but you are saying you don't want to and that he doesn't want to, that you can't afford the recovery time, etc. so I am offering/have offered some thoughts and suggestions on your publicly posted query that could be plausible solutions to your dilemma.
Best wishes,
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 11/1/2008 11:03:43 AM >

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 32

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:15:46 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

DavanKael -
I am not spouting moral philosophy for others, just talking about what works/feels right for ME, in my life.
Your statement about the morning after pill being differant than an abortion pill.
I bet you are quite right, that many people make that decision without knowing the facts.

However, once you know the facts, much of it will depend on your 'definition' of pregnancy.

A pregnancy does not REALLY occur at conception, I agree - if it did, then there would be millions of natural abortions (miscarriages) every year, because MANY conceptions do not, in nature, result in pregnancy. A pregnancy occurs at implantation of a fertilized zygot.

However - I personally consider a birth control meathod to be an abortafacent if it prevents implantation. That is my decision and my feeling.

However again - obviously, the OP must feel differantly, since she was using an IUD. So the morning after pill might be a good option for her.

But, I believe the mornign after pill is some serious hormonal stuff. You can't wait until you know you got pregnant to use it - then it is too late. And using it every time you want to fuck is not going to make for a happy body - it is just too strong for that. It is more of an emergency meathod, I would think.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 33

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:34:13 AM

JumpingJax

Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

(And the cat that's sitting next to me might sprout wings, fly up, and start holding a conversation with me in Spanish)

Now that's just silly. Why interject fantasy into an otherwise reality based conversation? When your cat flies over here he can't speak any foreign languages.

John

I'm pretty sure this is true.... As any cat's will tell you - it is us living in their world. Therefore it is us speaking the "foriegn language" not the cat.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 34

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:37:45 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Hi, tsatske----
Certainly, different people have differing opinions. I am simply attempting to provide information (And express some opinions; we all have them) to a person who is in a relationship where there seems to be a focus on not wanting to get pregnant (Arguable, if no b.c. option is being used and abortion is not an option), who has 4 um's as a single parent and states an inability to afford to take the recovery time off when adding a 5th. She's being non-sensical and that is irksome as innocent lives are concerned.
As I said, if a person can afford to breed with profusion, set forth and multiply.
I didn't assert anything about when life begins, be it at conception or at a later time.
I acknowledge your assertion that utilization of anything that prevents implantation is against your moral code. As you pointed out, the OP must not feel that way or must be misinformed or she'd not have used an iud.
Yes, the Morning After Pill is a hefty dose of hormones (When I've used it, my reactions have ranged from mild nausea to head spinning, gagging and other fun stuff). Preferrable to breeding against my wishes. The OP also said it's a semi-long distance relationship, so they're not 'gettin' it on every night.
My point is that the contention about every birth control method being unreliable (And, as several of the gentlemen also acknowledged in response to my cat flying and speaking spanish correlation) is emotional drivvle. She needs to educate herself on some science, she and her partner need to speak, and they need to figure out how they're going to prevent a 5th um to a single Mom.
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 11/1/2008 11:39:02 AM >

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 35

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:40:08 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Jumping Jax is, of course, correct! We are here to serve Them, and they know it! :>
Davan

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 36

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:46:56 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Well, there is no 100% meathod of birthcontrol. If you are a follower of several of the Worlds major religions, you'd have to acknowledge that even true and total abstinance failed at least once.

However, I agree with you that making rational birthcontrol decisions is preferable to sticking your head in the sand and crossing your fingers, using the 1/100th of a percent chance of failure (that's 1 in 10,000 fucks, and, as good as Master is, even i'm not getting it that often in a year) as an excuse for not making a decision.
If your birthcontrol meathod of choice fails, then you decide what to do - but cut the odds of that choice down to a min. by making a rational decision first.

I happen to be a baby lover. I get a baby face on around every small child we see in public. I have had six children - 3 boys still alive to listen to me whine endlessly about having no grandchildren.

Last night we were at a not-a-play party with other lifestyle types, and I abandoned the lifestyle types to go sit in a nightlighted bedroom with short people and tell stories, because the short people were getting on the other adults nerves by refusing to stay in bed. After I asked half a dozen times if I couldn't go tell stories, to hostess and parents who kept saying, 'no, you don't have to do that.' Master finally looked at me and grinned and nodded in the direction of the short peoples room. The hostess appologized later that i had been 'banished', i told her - I like short people better than tall ones, anyway.

But it is something that should be thought through, something you should be ready for. Even if your decision is, 'if it happens, it's a blessing' - fine, but think it through and MAKE that decision. Every child deserves to be cherished.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 37

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:48:42 AM

JumpingJax

Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

To OP.... First and for most has was stated in the first response TALKING IS THE KEY. Again just to clarify TALK with your partner.

My suggestion is to sit down and again TALK about the real risk are with the activities you are doing? This isn't about the pregancy thing - you guys both know the risk involved and at least from what I have read for the OP she is prepared to handle whatever happens there. What I am talking about is his fear of hurting you? Is some heavy lashing against your bottom really going to cause some type of permanent damage? Ask him to voice what "damage" he is affraid of, and then assure him that none of those things are permanent.

Years ago when I had my first taste of D/s - my fear of hurting the sub I cared for helped contribute to the falling apart of that D/s dynamic. This is something I can totally relate to.

But as I have gotten back in to D/s some 7 years later - I have found myself much more willing to push what in the past would have been my limits. I discovered a few things.... First the more I push it the better it gets. Second, Despite any of the pain the sub might feel at the time, that pain is usually replaced with some sort of overwhelming happiness in the morning. and Third, you know what I kinda liked it. Sick or not - I have to admit I did.

Remember - Pain is good... Extreme Pain is Extremely good.

< Message edited by JumpingJax -- 11/1/2008 11:51:44 AM >

(in reply to JumpingJax)

Post #: 38

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 11:54:16 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Hi, tastske----
Bingo: that no method short of true abstainence is 100% is something I asserted several posts ago. There are actually a couple of theories about that particular 'immaculate' conception of which you speak, though, there is a super rare phenomenon where a person is born with a fertilized egg inside of them and in time they have what appears to be an 'immaculate' birth. I won't go into the other more down-to-earth theories about how else that could have occurred except to say that the Hebrew word used to describe that event does not mean virgin. If you'd like to discuss this aspect further, feel free to e-mail me.
Agreed on rational birth control decision-making; it is the only responsible way to go.
I am glad that you had the opportunity to spend time with a bunch of small folk the other evening. :> There are several in my life that I always feel gifted to be in the presence of and, small folk, quite simply rock! They're cool little creatures. As you pointed out, oft times, more cool than the big ones. Though, I'm short: they get taller than me fast, lol!
I am sorry to hear of your personal losses.
As long as people can take care of what they create without my fellow Americans and I having to foot the bill, cool.
Every child should be a wanted child. :>
Davan

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 39

RE: asking for a lil help - 11/1/2008 12:21:35 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

quote:

I won't go into the other more down-to-earth theories about how else that could have occurred except to say that the Hebrew word used to describe that event does not mean virgin. If you'd like to discuss this aspect further, feel free to e-mail me.

I'm going to do that. I don't spout religion on here, although I love discussing and argueing religion, and I find my own religious convections strengthed by every such discussion I ever have, and by every thing I learn. Valid lessons are everywhere.

Here is something else I would really like some theories on, though: You agreed with me about the misdefinition of abstenance used by so many. I mentioned that we know how true it is because pregnancy among fundie young women who still have an intact hymen is on the rise.

Here is what always gets me about that fact : How do American women get past their sixth birthday with an intact hymen? didn't these girls go horseback riding? own a bike? take gymnastics class? join the cheer squad? dive off the highboard into the deep end of the pool? climb a tree? Swing as high and high as ever they could go only to jump off the swing and roll down a hill? Go to summer camp? Play touch foot ball in the front yard at Grandmas on Thanksgiving day?

I mean, serriously, what the hell is an American woman doing with a hymen still in place?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: asking for a lil help

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.098