Clarity

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Clarity - 11/1/2008 9:00:02 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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Not the same as truth although without clarity, the truth is hard to find. There have been a number of recent topics discussed that either were definitions or involved them. Part of the problem with defining terms in bdsm is the fact we have words like slave and dominant, top and bottom that require people to be placed inside or out and we are loath to do that for many reasons. I am all out of "loath" and so want to stir up some trouble, that and someone stole my birthday gift, my first flogger (I used to hate them) and so everyone here is going to pay.

The problem we have in setting definitions is that we don't have a scale for things. "Dom X" says I have a slave but that is a meaningless statement in reality because we don't know what sort of dominant he is nor what sort of slave he has. One man's slave is another man's bratty annoying bottom. A talented dominant (who is a good match) can take someone who other people have claimed didn't have a submissive bone in their body and turn them into a great slave. However, another person's ideal slave isn't as slavey as that so the talented dominant's great slave sucks because she is more automaton than partner.

See what I mean.

To properly graph dominance alone is complicated

We need to assess their vanilla relationship skills
We need to assess their advanced vanilla/D/s skills
We need to assess their personal ability to project "dominance"
We need to assess their physical image
We need to assess their ability to get inside someone's mind
We need to assess their ability to get inside someone's mind and turn them on
We need to assess their financial success

HOWEVER

All that need to then be run through a calculation taking into account how all that is percieved by the submissive in question.

Are their vanilla relationship skills compatible?
Do the dominants advanced vanilla/D/s skills complement hers?
Does the dominants personal ability to project "dominance" evoke submission?
Does the dominants physical image inspire lust?
Can the dominant get inside the submissive's mind?
Is the dominants financial position work for the submissive?

Then, we would have to go through the same thing with each submissive because how someone treats a potential partner depends on how they see that person, potential life mate, fuck buddy, or mere booty/slave call.

So, on some level, given the above we could quantify some level of dominance and how that dominance would affect a given submissive. Then we could quantify what sort of dominance each submissive would inspire out of each dominant and we could then have a conversation like this.

I am a level III Dominant with the following scores and my slave is a level IV submissive with these scores and we are having trouble getting her to obey a class R order. And then when I read that, I could say either "Wow, for a level III Dominant to have trouble getting a level IV submissive to obey a class R order, there must be some sort of outside problem goingg on OR I could say, Uh, somebody cheated on their test and that poser is no level III dominant!

Now much of the above is sarcasm and good fun, the point is very real, talking about definitions in a vacume (meaning I haven't seen your relationship up close and personal) and so on some level I can never know what you are talking about because when you say "I control my slave completely" means so many different things. If I have spent time with you I might know that what you really mean is that your top, I mean your "slave" obeys every order she tells you to give her, or that while you don't chest thump and shout orders constantly, that your bottom is more of slave than most slaves I know.