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ORIGINAL: LydiaSciKitten

This issue is much more delicate than some of you seem to understand. Obviously a Master has the right to bluntly say 'Lose some weight', but a sub that is adoring of her Man might take this very heavily. I personally know of a case where a Dom rudely ordered his sub to lose weight, and then they didn't see each other for a while, due to his job. It led to her becoming anorexic, and when he was back, he had to deal with immense guilt about what his words had caused. Yes, as a Master one has the right to ask for pretty much anything, but a bit tact in issues like these, that so directly affect one's self-confidence, can be very much appreciated.

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ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

 
If you're both exercising and eating right, she will eventually shed the weight.  As she starts to tone up, praise her.  Saying "wow, you look fabulous since we started eating right and exercising together" is better than "wow, you need to lose weight." 

actually your wrong, Cals in cals out dont work for everyone, if one diet or one way worked for everyone there wouldnt be 7 thousand different diets out there. If cals in cals out worked... why can i be on a 500 cal liquid diet, for 3 months and gain 30 pounds O.o? Why because Im just special ^_^;;


And as for weight, Im fat, So what, I can still run the mile in about 10 minutes, which isnt to shabby considering according to my hight i should be 140... The only thing about "health" reasons is this. My sisters 115 pounds at most, she runs the mile in 16 minutes barely being able to finish, she can do at most 3 sit ups in a row, and can barely walk the distance from the car to the store with out huffing and buffing. Im 256 Proud of it, and can do 50 sit ups at a time, walk 3 miles a day and am in better shape then many, I just cant loose weight. Also even if I didnt have my fat, id still be tipping the scales at 180 and be considered over weight because of muscle mass. So Fuck Bmi and its inability to calculate figures...

-La kitten.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: LydiaSciKitten

This issue is much more delicate than some of you seem to understand. Obviously a Master has the right to bluntly say 'Lose some weight', but a sub that is adoring of her Man might take this very heavily. I personally know of a case where a Dom rudely ordered his sub to lose weight, and then they didn't see each other for a while, due to his job. It led to her becoming anorexic, and when he was back, he had to deal with immense guilt about what his words had caused. Yes, as a Master one has the right to ask for pretty much anything, but a bit tact in issues like these, that so directly affect one's self-confidence, can be very much appreciated.

I understand the delicateness perfectly.

In the case you mention, did he not talk to her while he was away? Did he not know of her struggle? Did she fail to tell him?

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ORIGINAL: antipode

I don't ask. If I want the sub, she is not obese, but clearly overweight, I will tell her I'll accept her provided she is prepared to be forced to lose weight (this assuming it is overeating, and not a medical issue). I think D/s is a good way to repogram a compulsive eater - I have some experience with eating disorders, my first wife was anorexic, and one of my subs had bulimia. The "treatment" can involve therapy with a professional, which I will pay for if necessary.

I have in the past used weight loss as a fetish - overeating, being punished, chained up so she can reach the kitchen but not the fridge, heavy PT, etc. What can be more fun than being dommed into your former svelte self? Eh?

I have seen what obesity does to one's health and life in my own family, so I otherwise treat it as any addiction - you don't want to work on it, if you can only fly standby, I don't want to know.

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

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ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

If you're both exercising and eating right, she will eventually shed the weight.  As she starts to tone up, praise her.  Saying "wow, you look fabulous since we started eating right and exercising together" is better than "wow, you need to lose weight." 

actually your wrong, Cals in cals out dont work for everyone, if one diet or one way worked for everyone there wouldnt be 7 thousand different diets out there. If cals in cals out worked... why can i be on a 500 cal liquid diet, for 3 months and gain 30 pounds O.o? Why because Im just special ^_^;;

I'll believe you...as soon as you show me your medical degree and peer reviewed research that disproves years of scientific data that shows a healthy diet and exercise is the only way to lose weight and keep it off.  The fact that there are 7000 unhealthy diets that promise quick weight loss without changing eating or exercise habits is irrelevant.  They don't work because they aren't healthy and promise unrealistic results which, in turn, leads to poor nutrition and frustration when the promised results don't materialize.  You're not going to lose 10 lbs in as many days.  If you lose 1 pound per week, you're doing well. 

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ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Hi all,

I am really surprised that some are indicating that they would rather be lied even by omission to by their Master or in this case Dom and him telling her he wants her to lose weight because he would find her more pleasing to him at a less weight would indicate to them he wasn't happy with what he chose flabbergasts me.  Perhaps it is more people who are fat and overweight tend to lie to themselves about themselves and want others to lie to them too.  Only each individual really knows the answer to that concept.  I personally think if someone would rather have someone who is in the position of Dom or Master to them pretty much LIE to them, instead of being honest with their wants and desires of that position and the dynamic, makes me again wondering if perhaps the person doesn't want to hear it because it may open their eyes to the fact they have been lying to themselves.

All couples have things they don't like about the other person.  so its not simplicity of you get what you chose, if that is the case the relationship is doomed because all relationships and people change and you have to be able to take that sometimes that change won't be something the other enjoys.   Just because someone choses a fat person because of what does please them doesn't mean that the accept and enjoy a physical aspect of the person that more than likely CAN be changed.     MOST people, especially here in the US, who are overweight are so because of their lifestyle and not because of some uncontrollable issue they have.  The concept of weight gaining and being fat acceptance because of some health issue seem to be a crutch many lean on because many people just are content to be overweight because the alternative may mean taking a good hard look at yourself to get to the bottom of the underlying problem that keeps people from losing weight, be it emotional, be it laziness, be it excuses, etc.

Yes there are medical reasons some people are overweight, but in all actuality i don't think those are the majority.  And i don't think people HAVE to accept that someone in their life wants to remain fat, or else be considered insensitive or wrong.  Sometimes political correctness especially in a relationship does more harm than good in maintaining the relationship because many times politically correct means not expressing what you really think and feel.  And in a relationship that can kill it because trust goes both ways, it means a Man can tell his sub that hey, your weight is becoming an issue for me.  Let's discuss how perhaps we can both work on losing some or getting more active or maybe take some classes in nutritional cooking etc.  (fyi i hear sex burns 350 cals in a 1/2 hour) lol.  Honesty can sometimes open up doors of a relationship you never expected were there.

angel

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ORIGINAL: sweetNsassyPGH


Should we be honest about THOSE things too...???.. Why is only OK to be honest about a woman's weight and size...???..

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Fat people dont always lie to themselves or to others... nor do they want to be lied to...

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And I think its a fine balance between honesty and cruelty...  between telling those we love that we are concerned about them... VS telling them as some power play, or as some reflection on US...

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida



True...but I prefer honesty, none-the-less. Direct honesty. Some would say the way my former master spoke to me was cruel, but I responded well to it.

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ORIGINAL: sweetNsassyPGH

It really is NOT an issue purely of cals in, cals out... LOL.. If it were, it would be so much simpler.  Most current data is proving that out, if you check up on it.

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Well actually, its more a matter of what those calories are, and how they are balanced, and how the person exercises.  The same diet and exercise program wont work for everyone. 

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Not to mention how one's weight,  weight loss, body size, and body shape  is controlled by or affected by:  thyroid problems, hormone imbalances, adrenal imbalances, sleep patterns/insomnia, pharmaceutical medications, endocrine imbalances, neurochemical imbalances, etc.

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ORIGINAL: sweetNsassyPGH


What does "FAT" really mean to YOU... or to anyone...???.. Its not a contagious condition... LOL.. Our culture seems to hate it, while other cultures see largeness or fat as power, wealth, strength, etc.  Is being fat the real problem... or what someone attaches to someone's fat...???.. Just like with other sterotypes, other prejudices, other kinds of bigotry... isnt what we emotionally attach to that person or that group of people the real problem or issue...???..

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ORIGINAL: moonvine
"But I'm just worried about your health" to me is the biggest copout going.  In most cases, the person isn't actually worried about your health.  They don't want to look at you.  So, don't look!

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ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

what i didn't like was being told the following: if you want to have friends and many men chasing you, you have to be thin. thin is beautiful - being fat is not. lose the weight and you'll feel ...be beautiful.