Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Where do Women get their Domme training Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:57:34 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		In response to your question, I don't think so.

This has nothing to do with dommes, but I know that 10 years ago I met someone I was interested in forming a relationship with, who had no experience.  I knew a local dominant (I lived in another city then) who had many years worth of experience, so the experienced dominant trained the inexperienced one.  I felt a lot more comfortable and it worked out well for everyone as far as I could tell. 

I really would not want someone with no experience doing much playing with me as you can hurt or in extreme cases kill people.  I have a paramedic friend who has been on 2 BDSM calls (maybe more but 2 he has told me about) - one in which the dom dislocated his gf's shoulder and broke her coccyx doing suspension incorrectly, and a woman who actually killed her husband playing with electricity - they got there and he was DOA. 

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:58:30 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i respect that totally. the target of my thesis is not so much yourself.  You are an experienced and mature Mistress, No im more concerned about the 18-22 age group who just stumble on the lifestyle because they have this idea that they are superior or whatever they want to beat men i dont know and because they may not have awareness of what they are doing they may cause injuries to the clients they take in
kevin



This is a valid point that you raise.  Unfortunately, when it comes to submission, you really have no guarantee of the dom/me knowing anything.  The best way to protect oneself is to spend a fair amount of time getting to know the dom/me in question, and if alarm bells ring, to walk away.  Ultimately, you won't know how safe the person is until you've played with him or her a number of times. 

Oddly enough, I seem to be getting a reputation for being rather sadistic, yet I've never drawn blood.  I'm not saying it will never happen, but that wouldn't be my intention.  I practise with toys on inanimate objects (or myself, which is often much the same thing) until I am satisfied that I have a good degree of control over them.  When it comes time to try out a toy I've never used on someone before, I do it as part of a "show and tell" evening, where I go slowly and elicit feedback every step of the way, before I use it as part of a scene.  A sub may well be better off with a sadist who can control her toys than a sensualist who can't.  In the long run, it all comes down to caveat submissus.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:58:55 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Again the target of this thread is not yourself or other mature Ladies, it really the so called young Dommes, who know everything as usual but really know nothing and you know in that case a guys jaw could easily be broken, he could end up with huge back pain etc the potential for problems i think is obvious, i think these Dommes really need support or should be taken off the market. i mean surely there is a boss above the Domme so to speak to ensure that everything is above board. and done properly. Anyway just my two cents.. Its my pleasure Lockit thank you
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:01:52 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

what proportion of Ladies have actually trained to a standard and can actually have something on paper to prove that they are competent


Yup just what we need.... written proof that we know how to do stuff that can get some people thrown in jail.... sheesh

Yes, there are conventions, and courses and workshops... and practice.
quote:

original IvyMorgan
OP, you're talking about hiring dentists... I'm wondering if you're therefore referring to "pro" dommes who charge and are hired, as opposed to those who are dominant in their relationship with their SO.  If there is some sort of standardised training for those in a professional role does make sense as a question, whilst asking whether everyone with a certain sexual orientation has been trained in the same methods and/or to be that way does not.

Exactly

quote:

original faerytattoodgirl  experience doesnt mean you know what your doing.  so 1 year or 30 years of experience means nothing.


Also, knowing how to play with wax or knives or restraints does not make Me dominant or a Domme



_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:02:13 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

Again the target of this thread is not yourself or other mature Ladies, it really the so called young Dommes


and realize that just because one is a mature female it does not mean she has 20 years of experience.  we all start at different ages. 


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:02:29 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Kevin, the thing is a twenty year old could have just as much training as an older domme.  We all don't start at the same age or have the same experiences.  You can't always judge a book by the cover.  I have known some young domme's I would take lessons from!  It is about who you are involved with, not always age means experience.  It is charactor and in some cases... sanity! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:03:26 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		thats exactly what im hitting at Moonvine. Great post. You know you starts off as a game which it is until something happens that you dont expect and because you dont know what your doing bang there's a tragedy. now surely that could be prevented if the Domme was competent in the first place.  I think unfortunately there is a minority of Dommes here, a large minority possibly who proclaim that they are experts in this that and the other but in reality they just get off on inflicting pain without having an idea of how to do it safely.  You know kinks such as choking, asphyxiation, breath play, judicial caning, that is all very dangerous stuff.
thanks again
kevin

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:05:04 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		But it does make you safe or at least a better bet than someone who does this for kicks but has no idea of  how to do it safely.  Thanks Lady Psy
kevin

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:06:42 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i had no formal "training" as a Domme (though i'm listed as submissive here) unless you consider terrorizing 4 younger brothers as a good start. it pays being the oldest and the only girl in my family.

however i learn as i go with my pet understanding his pain threshold and limits ...making sure i don't go too far with our sessions though he likes it when i push further each time.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 11/1/2008 5:09:35 PM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:09:14 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Well that s true and i know im going to be nailed for this but my feeling is that older folk tend to be a little more restrained about things and seek to gain perspective on something before trying it out whereas young people tend to be more gung ho , which is great, exuberance is great, but in S and M , it can be risky
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:14:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... while an older person may be more settled in things, it is no quarentee of safety.  I've met some pretty wild older folks!  But I have also known some very balanced young folks too.  It depends on the people, but I can see your reasoning.  Still... there is an exception to every rule and those that look to be exceptional especially because of their age.  Some are very impressive.

If it concerns you, you could always attend some demo's with someone you are considering or ask to see someone in action before you play.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:19:25 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		yeah i will admit Lockit it is a bit of  a concern of mine as i will be going to a munch next week which is  a group of Dommes and subs in Dublin
kev

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:22:00 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Very prescient Venatrix.  You make a great point when you say that you really have no way of knowing and indeed you possibly are accurate in saying that your safer with a sadist because a sadist would be more used to inflicting pain would know about degrees of pain etc and how much each sub can take whereas a sensualist might take out a whip or a paddle and put you in hospital with it. it all comes down to experience to me
thanks
kevin

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:22:37 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Kevin, I hope you have a great time, but please don't worry.  A munch isn't playtime and even if it were, you wouldn't have to play.  Go, have a good time and don't worry too much.  You are in control.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:26:34 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks Lockit.
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:29:23 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Listen guys, gals, thanks very much for the discussion. It was a lively entertaining debate. Thanks everybody for joining in. i hope no matter what orientation you are you got some enjoyment from the discussion.
Thanks a million
Good night
kevin

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:31:12 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Feel free to post more comments as you wish. Bed calls im afraid. Sorry moonvine for using you as a guinea pig for the group, just couldnt get a general mail.
kevin

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:51:39 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		These days, it seems to me, a professional femdom at the age of 18-22 most likely works in a professional dungeon where she is overseen and mentored by other experienced professionals.  Back when I first got my start, we were pretty much like a specialty-whore and got people referred to us.  No one ever checked a reference or asked us to prove we were trained or anything.  Nothing was at all formal about it.  Now, I know some local clubs, organizations and dungeons hold classes and workshops.  Near me, Dragons Gate Studios has "Dom 101", which I am considering taking just to meet people and get new ideas.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 5:58:16 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		A lot of what I do as a Domme came natural to me, but I did seek out some help when it came to using floggers and canes and some bondage techniques.  Most of that information came from books, websites, and from more experienced Dommes in a local group I attended.  My ideas for scenes were already floating in my head for years.

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 6:38:35 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I educated and trained myself, trial and error was a huge teacher. I read a lot of books and talked to people. If someone asks me how I got my training, I will tell them exactly that.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Where do Women get their Domme training Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078