RE: Where do Women get their Domme training

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Where do Women get their Domme training

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 8:47:00 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Let me explain a bit, the impact is also on the hand, so every spank you give will also hurt your hand, chances that your palm will start stinging and your wrist will swell are much higher. And yes, I have also gotten spankings, from guys, not because I like them but because I lost a bet, the guys always complained that their hands hurt.

Well if you were accredited and trained you would know precisely when to switch from hand spanking to implement spanking to avoid that dreaded 'SoreHanditus'.

Kevin you have some good points but they are buried by the exaggerated fears you have.

As just about everyone here has said, training (on either side of the slash) is usually not necessary. When it is necessary then people tend to go out and learn from others be it in person or via books etc. It isn't rocket science, it is a matter of being aware of your surroundings and physical limits.

Many many play without safewords, that is not always a red flag. I've never had a safeword in place because I've always taken the time to talk to the other person beforehand.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 81

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 8:47:28 AM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

[...]Would you be more comfortable with a Domme who was actually trained and qualified in what she was doing or does it make it any difference. If so why. Do you think we subs should ask this question of our Ladies when approaching to serve, after all most people have to be qualified to do the work they do, you wouldnt hire an untrained dentist would you, would you allow an untrained mechanic fix your car, so why do we not feel we should be able to ask this question of the Ladies, would be it rude to do so, unsubmissive, or as human beings is it our entitlement to know in reality how skilled or otherwise the Domme really is. i just thought id throw this out and see what reaction it gets , i look forward to the responses with interest.

Hi Kevin,

The best answer I believe anyone would give to the accreditation query would be something along the lines of "the desire to be dominant prevails and evolves because it's within me; it's the force behind what I am."

"Dominant" is not knowledge, but an internal quality. No one can teach you this, outside pointing down very long paths. One can learn technical tricks of the trade, such as where to strike flesh with a cane safely or the fundamentals of Machiavellian leadership, but to be dominant? No; it will be simulation, at best.

I answer this question based on "how to be dominant" rather than "how to be a Domme", as I suspect many sincere submissive males would want to know the Woman they are submitting to actually fulfills the ideal in spirit as well as image. If image and sadistic parlor tricks are all that are needed to be considered a "Domme", then by all means, ask for credentials.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 82

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:19:56 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

Well im glad everything has worked out well for you Lady Camille. Maybe my fears are exaggerated maybe they are but having suffered depression for years i suppose im a little cautious a little apprehensive. i have social anxiety and find meeting people is difficult at times
kevin

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 83

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:20:49 AM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline

Kevin,
you have made some sweeping generalizations on this forum, so I have to ask......... where did you get your submissive training? who or what accredited school, or training center, gave you the right to call yourself a submissive?

Here's a couple facts......... I have spanked easily over 100 butts, maybe even 200 butts, and been around for yearsssssss and never heard or seen anyone scarred from spanking....... or get a black eye from spanking...... (still would like to know how that could even happen, maybe they slid off someones lap into the floor where they wacked their face on a table leg?)
I don't play with safe words........ scarey huh? OMG!! she must be the devil herself......... run, run........ OR I actually spend the time, getting to know a person before playing with them, I grow with them, I start off play in levels, softer at first, and watch the reactions of their body to know where, and how I should play, as I grow to a higher level of play. I am of the ideal a dominant person should know their submissive so well that if they are in danger, or trouble, THE DOMINANT should know way before the submissive can remember a codeword and mutter it.
I am also a sadist........ ackkkkkkkkk run run she reallllly is the devil........ I enjoy hurting a person it's what get's me hot and bothered..... I cane people until blood runs down the backs of their legs, I use a single tail whip, until there are welts covering a person...... I have been known to hang concret blocks from mens balls, and amazingly I have NEVER had any permanent harm to any of the hundreds of people I have played with over the years.

Your new, you clearly don't have alot of experince with S&M play...... before you start judging people, and calling them wrong, perhaps you should slow down, and not base your opinions on your limited experince and but actually get out there and get some experince.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 84

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:24:35 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Being cautious is great, but if you let it build into fear then it will hold you back. Much like social anxiety its often more the fear of things than it is the actual reality of things.
I too struggle greatly in social environments, I am super shy and it takes me a very long time to feel at ease in group situations. Yet I know intellectually that the fear is irrational and its something that has built inside of me without much basis.

I hope that you don't let your fears hold you back or control you because I think that ends up costing too much.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 85

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:28:39 AM

SassyBird

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline

I dont think Kevin is here to call anyone wrong, or trying to offend anyone on purpose.
I see it more as someone wary trying to find information, trying to feel how other people work as part of learning about both bdsm, ways of doing it, and people (dominant and submissive alike).

I actually applaud him for daring to start a thread which could be so questionable and really, really, hope it won't derail like most of the other actual threads started on the quest for knowledge.

SB

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 86

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:29:33 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

no i dont think your wrong Lady. but i dont think your right either. And i know im not fully right either. I accept fully what you say and its great that you have had no accidents. But for me its better to be safe than sorry. Like i say knowledge is power. Being submissive is different im not going to whip anyone, thats not in my nature at all and no You are not the wicked witch of the west or the Devil or anything else. i actually dont believe in the Devil. Your only wrong if you know in your heart what you are doing is wrong, no one else can say that you are wrong.
respectfully
kevin

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 87

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:31:38 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

Thank for your support Lady Sassy Bird. it s great that we have such wide ranging viewpoints and reactions here. Some are less supportive, some have short fuses, some feel angered by what im saying but thats good it makes for an eclectic exciting mix.
kevin

(in reply to SassyBird)

Post #: 88

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:33:24 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

And all this from a Domina who does not see submissive men . I find this fascinating. Thanks for your contribution Lady Umbra
kevin

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 89

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 9:53:00 AM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

And all this from a Domina who does not see submissive men . I find this fascinating. Thanks for your contribution Lady Umbra
kevin

Kevin,
if you would have actually read my profile, not just skimmed it looking for things to attempt to quip at you would have seen it says I am not seeking ANOTHER male submissive. I own a male slave that I have owned, as a live in slave for the last eight years, who is now not only my slave and partner but as of two years ago also my husband.
I am very happy with my beloved slave, who fufills all my needs for a male slave, so yes Kevin, I am NOT seeking another male slave......
Also as I sign my posts, and is clearly stated in my profile..... My name is Alexandra, not lady anything...... as the Queen has not given me a post in her court.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 90

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:02:21 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

Sorry Alexandra for causing offence it was not intentional. And i am impressed you have a an appreciation of classical literature, i see a quote from TS Eliot on the bottom of your post. Having completed a degree in English literature , it always makes me smile to see people in the lifestyle who have an appreciation of it.
thank you
kevin

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 91

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:13:15 AM

websurffer

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline

As one of the "new" Dommes at only 18, I am VERY up front about lacking experience. I have read up on a lot of things, but reading can't really substitute for actual experience and I tell those who contact me that I am pretty inexperienced, and will therefore be taking things very slowly because I am learning as I go.

As a switch, I would have to say from the sub side of things I wouldn't trust a Dom/me who wouldn't tell you up front about how much experience that they had.

_____________________________

Thou art to me a delicious torment.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 92

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:15:16 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

If you think of it logically would a person who trained to be a doctor and failed his/her exams still become a doctor i dont think so i certainly would not be comfortable going to a Doctor who wasnt competent. My only point is why is this career any different
kevin

Career? Are you talking about ProDommes or just Dommes in general?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 93

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:31:19 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

You have hit my point on the nail. Its refreshing to hear from a young Mistress who is honest and open about the fact that She does not have experience and is honest with her subs or subs to be about this. The young dommes im talking about are those who dont give two damns about their clients and view men as worms. Worse still they view their clients as punch bags and whipping boys, now that's great if that is what the man is interested in and consents to but sometimes a line is crossed and that would be my only concern. Thank you Miss
kevin

(in reply to websurffer)

Post #: 94

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:33:03 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: websurffer

As one of the "new" Dommes at only 18, I am VERY up front about lacking experience. I have read up on a lot of things, but reading can't really substitute for actual experience and I tell those who contact me that I am pretty inexperienced, and will therefore be taking things very slowly because I am learning as I go.

As a switch, I would have to say from the sub side of things I wouldn't trust a Dom/me who wouldn't tell you up front about how much experience that they had.

We all started once. No need to lie about it (although many do)

I would personally prefer some one liek you..beeing honest. IF you would lie about this, you would propably lie about other things too.

(in reply to websurffer)

Post #: 95

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:38:54 AM

Katandpuppy

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

Reading the various replies and the original question, I have been bemused, amused, annoyed and felt rather insulted. Was I a competent Domme at 18, 19, 20? For the games I preferred to play when I was younger, yes. In all honesty, I started on this path well before the age of consent and learned from experience, reading, imagination, common sense and a whole lot of trial and error. And communicating with my partners before, during and after playtime.
No matter how good you are, things can go wrong whether you are engaged in vanilla or extreme edge play or anything in between.
By choosing to get out of bed every day you accept the inherent risk of being alive.
As for a "school" or some such to become a Dominant, it can only teach you the technical aspects and safety. It cannot teach you the exact expression to make a sub/slave drop to their knees and worship the ground you walk on. It cannot teach you what you know in your heart to be right for you.
And yes, safety is important but age does not equal experience or competency for any particular activity. As someone stated previously we all started at different ages.
And unless a sub falls off your lap during a spanking or you slip in the puddle of tears the sub left after administering said spanking the chances of any sort of physical damage beyond a sore butt and/or hand is about as likely as winning a powerball lottery without buying a ticket.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 96

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 10:49:07 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

Please dont take it personally. im not saying your wrong Miss. all im saying is we can all improve our techniques no matter what and is true domination really about worshipping the ground someone walks on from the point of view of the sub, im sure we could get a miriad of responses on that and still come to no conclusion.
Thank You
kevin

(in reply to Katandpuppy)

Post #: 97

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 11:52:08 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

In a far off land in a distance place there was a university. A private place for women only, this castle held the place of instruction for the education of dominant women. From far and wide the women came to get their domme degree and all were happy and very pleased since many of the courses were hands on instruction.

From under the castle bridge, the trolls did come as they lined up for inspection. Only the best could be used you see, for the domme school test subject’s could not be inferior. From far and wide the submissive’s came once they heard of such a place. They were willing to battle the trolls and the instructor’s, they wanted to be submissive test subjects.

Well this caused a riot and the submissive’s and trolls fought the battle to be worthy test subjects for domme’s earning their degree! The wounds were many as the domme’s watched on and wondered if any would survive to suffer another day. But alas some did survive, the strongest and fittest they were and all went on very naturally and from the castle domme university you could often hear their screams.

Then one day the trolls decided to rebel and they planned a little surprise. For every university had to have certain things! So when the instructors and professors left for a fetish ball, the student domme’s were left alone. The submissive’s were all in their cages for the weekend and the domme’s worked on written assignments not suspecting anything more than a calm weekend.

All of a sudden there was the sound of an explosion and the thumping of troll feet. They were being invaded as trolls ran to and fro on a domme panty raid. Some were lucky and encouraged the others, as the student domme’s gathered to make a plan. Somehow they did it, we still don’t know how, but they gathered all those trolls up and surrounded them well. The trolls were actually happy thinking they had won some lottery, panties were hanging from hands and teeth as they knew their day was now complete!

But what they didn’t know to see, was that these were just domme want to be’s. They hadn’t been fully trained you see and they didn’t have their domme degree! Dangerous and ruthless, not tempered you see, they rushed the trolls as they tried to flee! But caught they were and as the submissive’s looked on, the untrained domme’s destroyed all the trolls of that far off land!

Now in this land far and a way, the domme school is famous and the best of any land. For other universities did open and did serve a purpose, but none was known as well or was as respected as the domme university that started it all and rid that land far away, of all the trolls! And from that day the trolls of the world knew better than to mess with a degree-less domme… they were feared in every land. So let this be a lesson to trolls far and wide… if she doesn’t have her degree… unsafe you shall be! Hide little trolls, far and wide, there aren’t enough bridges to hide your hide!

Disclaimer… this story was not intended to discredit anyone or point out any failure on anyone’s part. It’s just a little ditty from the sick mind of a feeble domme who simply thinks.. some things are just not right! And since we live in a fantasy land it seems… every fantasy needs a fable. (Am I ready for the domme place in the sky, where they retire the domme's sick of mind?)

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 98

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 11:55:17 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

i love the way you can take the piss out of anything when others get so energised and take it so seriously. Point being Lockit this is meant to be a bit of crack, a group having a laugh and im glad you took a humourous take here. Brilliant . Life is just too short to be too serious. Seriously.
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 99

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 11:56:22 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Oh Kevin don't say that... I will have all the toilet slaves in my email! hehe

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 100

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Where do Women get their Domme training

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094