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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:00:03 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i dont understand are you a switch. i suppose i m just nervous as a newbie. but i find this conversation intriguing  and i am very impressed by the response. in no way did i expect the level of response. it has been quite phenomenal.  Lady Constanze i will give you one, you are very articulate and your arguments are very well put together, there are not many guys who could keep up with you, and i count myself among them, in intellectual conversation.
kevin



Excuse me, I am not a switch but if I lose a bet I lose a bet, it's a question of honour and as a sadist if I can't take a spanking, well I think that I would be a bit of a joke. I wasn't aware that one needs to be a switch to honour a bet, or is that how you keep up an intellectual conversation? It does go with all the rest of your arguments, you assume, claim and fail to back it up with just a single fact. I asked several questions, you failed to answer them all.

We have been talking about spankings, somebody mentioned implements, but a traditional spanking would for me be bare hands, of course you can always add an implement but with a newbie and without checking somebody's pain level first, not very likely. Again, the serious damage resulting from a bare handed spanking is something I have yet to see, or maybe some of the people I spanked were all carefully hiding traumatic injuries and just pretend to be alright, mentally and physically?

Anyway, if you think you can keep up with me intellectually, please do answer my questions instead of avoiding them, that would convince me.

As I said, the level of training I got was as formal as it possibly gets and I'm possibly more concerned about safety issues than some guys like it, but I simply can't take anybody seriously who thinks spanking is dangerous or edge play.

Sorry kevin, but from the way you sound through the whole thread, I don't think you have much experience at all but make sweeping generalizations and fail to back them up.

For your first BDSM experience, I would recommend that you book a session with a pro domme, maybe you find one who got a few degrees from the University of Phoenix or something, because heaven forbid that your precious arse would carry a scar from a bare handed spanking, I would also recommend that she has an ambulance on standby in case you go into shock, also do not leave the house ever, because you could be run over by a car (you could always go to the appointment in a tank, that might be relatively secure), make sure that you are in a bungalow, because stairs are dangerous...

Honestly, with the amount of paranoia you display, are you definitely sure you want to indulge in BDSM? Wouldn't it be safe to just dream about it?

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:31:48 PM   
SubbieLilPetGirl


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		I think that women get their training from their Dominants :) I don't know a single Domme that I actually trust who just jumped into the lifestyle head first as a Domina. It seems as almost all have started as subbies themselves. I appreciate the fact that Ma'am has received at least once everything that She dishes out. 

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:35:39 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieLilPetGirl

I think that women get their training from their Dominants :) I don't know a single Domme that I actually trust who just jumped into the lifestyle head first as a Domina. It seems as almost all have started as subbies themselves. I appreciate the fact that Ma'am has received at least once everything that She dishes out. 


Wow, I guess I must have been doing something wrong then, never was a sub and I asked other dominants (male and female) to mentor me. Personally I think it is a question of responsibility that I want to know what an implement feels like, how can I tell somebody he has to endure 10 or 20 strokes with a whip if I don't have a clue how much just one hurts?

The idea that everybody started as a sub doesn't work, I know for a lot of women it worked that way but for a lot it doesn't and you really don't need to sub to get training.

(in reply to SubbieLilPetGirl)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:35:46 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		now now Lockit lets not get too dirty You will be lowering the tone lowering the tone i tell ya laughs
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:39:54 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		my only experience is in an online capacity Lady Constanze, five years to be exact, if thats not much, well then thats not much i guess. Yes shock is something that can easily happen to newbies. I find your arguments quite humourous Lady Constanze. Thanks. This group would be much the poorer without You.
kevin

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:40:45 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		More and more, I get the idea, that Kevin does not relize many many many female dominants are not prodom's ( not that there is anything wrong with prodom's in any way) .
The majority of female dominants are not paid professionals but this is their lifestyle, this is how they interact with their
partner(s) of choice.
 It seems a bit clearer as Kevin posts that he may been in contact with some of the online money dommes types, that care nothing about the submissive and only about the money and nothing about (their words not mine) the worthless worms that give it to them.
Not all females dominants feel their submissives are worms, or worthless, not all females accept professional clients or desire them, to the majority of dominant females BDSM is not a carear, it is simply part of their lives, and how they interact with their partner(s).
I love my slave, he lives with me, has for the last eight years, he serves me, he loves and adores me, yes we play and I tie him up and do all kinds of nasty things to him, but we also have a relationship, based on trust, communication, and love.
I have a normal job, where I work there are no tied up slaves under my desk, no loincloth clad men waiting for my beck and call, and  I wear a suit, not leather and latex.
My beloved slave (hubbypet as I call him) also goes to work, has a normal job, wears a suit, not a cockring and shackles. He is my slave out of his devotion to me, not out of my forcing him to do so.
He is not the first slave I have owned, nore will he be the last, but he is probably the last male slave I will own, becouse he completes all my needs for a male slave.  
Perhaps this will help clear some of the confusion up.



_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:53:37 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		No i mean that is absolutely fine Alexandra. im not in any way casting aspersions on anyone's character here. thats not my objective at all. that would just be mean and nasty to me.  No i totally acknowledge that the vast majority of Dommes here are absolutely fine people , they dont abuse or exploit their subs or clients or whatever you wish to call them. But there is a minority that does and i think they need support and guidance so that it does not become a nightmare for them down the road. And the minority does not include you Alexandra or 99% of the people here. But the one percent does do it. And its that possibly large minority that is my concern. They to me need support
kevin

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 12:58:21 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

More and more, I get the idea, that Kevin does not relize many many many female dominants are not prodom's ( not that there is anything wrong with prodom's in any way) .
The majority of female dominants are not paid professionals but this is their lifestyle, this is how they interact with their
partner(s) of choice.
 It seems a bit clearer as Kevin posts that he may been in contact with some of the online money dommes types, that care nothing about the submissive and only about the money and nothing about (their words not mine) the worthless worms that give it to them.
Not all females dominants feel their submissives are worms, or worthless, not all females accept professional clients or desire them, to the majority of dominant females BDSM is not a carear, it is simply part of their lives, and how they interact with their partner(s).
I love my slave, he lives with me, has for the last eight years, he serves me, he loves and adores me, yes we play and I tie him up and do all kinds of nasty things to him, but we also have a relationship, based on trust, communication, and love.
I have a normal job, where I work there are no tied up slaves under my desk, no loincloth clad men waiting for my beck and call, and  I wear a suit, not leather and latex.
My beloved slave (hubbypet as I call him) also goes to work, has a normal job, wears a suit, not a cockring and shackles. He is my slave out of his devotion to me, not out of my forcing him to do so.
He is not the first slave I have owned, nore will he be the last, but he is probably the last male slave I will own, becouse he completes all my needs for a male slave.  
Perhaps this will help clear some of the confusion up.





That actually makes a lot of sense....

I met quite a lot of pro dommes (I mentioned before it was a way for me to get trained and after I broke up with the partner I was indulging in BDSM with to play with "borders" i.e. I could date a guy who wasn't into BDSM - if it comes down to it, compatibility in everyday life will win over compatibility when it comes to BDSM - and leave it at just that, a time both had fun and they didn't get involved in my everyday life or my life with my partner) I don't think I could go back to prodomming or rather I don't want to, but most of the women do actually care a lot about their clients, just like most life-style dommes do.

I never got the whole "you lowly worm, worship me" - for me that seems like advertising that you can't dominate an intelligent, thinking being, that is why you want a worm, somebody who does that lowers themselves. Also no dominant, male, female, professional or life-style, worth their candle would ever want to damage somebody who submits to them, not simply due to the legal trouble that might follow, but also because they actually DO CARE, they honour the trust they are given.

Btw congrats on your relationship, sounds absolutely ideal!

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 1:00:35 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

now now Lockit lets not get too dirty You will be lowering the tone lowering the tone i tell ya laughs
kevin



LOL... do I look worried?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 1:10:41 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		no there is no reason to be Lockit. Life will throw shit at us but so what we are alive
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 1:55:50 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		 (Please note that all the below definitions could refer to either gender, or transgender)

Clients = a paying customer, someone who pays for a service, and expects to recieve the service in a professional manner.

submissive= someone with a submissive nature, or desire who wishes to offer or submit themselves to dominant partner. (to serve/or submit to someone it is not nessesary to pay them)

Prodom or  professional (paid) dominatrix, =  have clients, who pay for a portion of their time, generally by the hour, for agreed upon activities. They provide a service, just as any professional for a stated fee. The client is generally allowed to outline what type of fetish interests he/or she has, what limits they have and use a agreed upon safe word.

Dominant woman   = a woman who has a dominant personality, and or dominant desires, who enjoys having a submissive partner submit to them, many times this includes S&M but not always.  (this is not a paid position, or a service)



_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 2:28:23 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Now your getting silly Alexandra. i am well aware of the difference between the various gradations you mention. i know your Dominant but please dont make me laugh
kevin

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/2/2008 2:41:56 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Apologies to you Alexandra but im afraid im off.  Ill catch up with you folks tomorrow maybe. College calls im afraid and sleep most definitely does
bye and happy posting
kevin

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/3/2008 7:37:49 AM   
goddessAVA


Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		HAHAHA I had to check this thread out and see if it was really true.......god american lifestyle people can be so ridiculously uptight.  I come here for fun as well, especially when experienced Dommes of your character and reputation are stupidly viewed as newbies and given such valuable lessons from the "wise" frequent posters here.  Is it this bad in Europe?

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/3/2008 7:51:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieLilPetGirl

I think that women get their training from their Dominants :) I don't know a single Domme that I actually trust who just jumped into the lifestyle head first as a Domina. It seems as almost all have started as subbies themselves. I appreciate the fact that Ma'am has received at least once everything that She dishes out. 


Aside from the personal distaste of the word subbie, I will say that I've never, nor do I ever plan on submitting to anyone. It's made for an awful bumpy ride at times but, I prefer to call them life lessons learned.

Why a slave or submissive would ONLY ever want a dominant that was, at one time, a slave or submissive, is beyond me. I know a switch that I would not let my dogs submit to. Just because a person has experienced something does not make them, automatically, a trustworthy responsible dominant.



_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SubbieLilPetGirl)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/3/2008 9:38:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Points of discussion first.

I've learned a fair set of skills.  Some of them have been from demos, classes, and workshops.  Some have been from one on one learning.  I have never taken on a formal Mentor.  Instead, I prefer to find the person who I feel has the skill level on an activity that I would like to achieve, and seek instruction from them.  It's been a method that's been working for Me for quite some time now.  In the reverse, I've been willing to teach.  I've done public, as well as private instruction.

To continue, not every female Dominant is a professional.  In the arena of professionals, some are better at what they do than others.  Some of us who are *just* lifestyle Dommes have skills that far outweigh some of those who are making a buck. 

Next, most munches that I am aware of do not include any form of play.  They are simply gatherings of like minded people, usually in a vanilla setting.  Many groups will even specifically ask participants to leave the fetish wear at home, and be courteous of the other people in the vicinity who may not wish to hear the details of our BDSM interests.

When it comes to S/m play, I have yet to see, hear of, or meet anyone who has ever got a black eye as a result of a bare handed spanking on the buttocks.  Sure, it could be out there in the realm of possibilities, but just because something isn't impossible, doesn't make it probable.  Further, I would be far more leery of a bottom who has mental incapacities, more than just certain illnesses such as anxiety and depression, and that person's honest ability to consent with competency, than most of what is connected with wiitwd.  Just as it is fair to inquire about the skill levels of a top, it is fair for the top to inquire and  be correctly informed of the bottom's physical, as well as mental health.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/3/2008 9:49:00 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings Lady Pact
i think its fair to say. i ve said it in other posts that yes i do have mental health problems. i do have social anxiety and if you like talking with people helps this. but yes i have my lows and depression is more a condition than an illness to me. i hate it when people, not you Lady Pact, others, and not necessarily in the lifestyle either, put people with depression as sick schizophrenic etc. People with depression are ordinary folk like You and me. Life is hard for most folk and most folk go through depression at some stage of their life. What do they say one in four of us will either experience depression, anxiety etc or know someone who is experiencing it and yes, young males are particularly vulnerable, suicide is highest in the 15-24 age group of young men.  im glad im out of that particular age group and its better now with the support groups and greater awareness of the condition. on another note im going to my first munch on Saturday night in Dublin looking forward to it.
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/3/2008 9:50:20 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings Lady Pact
Talking with people i should say helps me get over social anxiety. Sorry Lady Pact if ive been too overbearing, im just explaining how i feel i guess
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/3/2008 10:29:44 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		At least im  honest Lady Pact. The regrettable thing  is there are many slaves and Dommes too who have mental incapacities as you say and they dont know it. And yes, surprise there is actually BDSM groups for the mentally ill. check out fetlife.com if you dont believe me and click on groups. You will be pleasantly surprised Lady Pact. We are not as dangerous as we might appear to You. i hope you have the luxury of not having to choose a mentally ill sub in Atlanta when next you decide to recruit. Depression is world wide you know, you might not have that luxury. lets face it very few of us go through life completely unaffected by illness.
respectfully
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/4/2008 4:19:46 PM   
Monkeyontuesday


Posts: 357
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

no i dont think your wrong Lady. but i dont think your right either. And i know im not fully right either. I accept fully what you say and its great that you have had no accidents. But for me its better to be safe than sorry. Like i say knowledge is power. Being submissive is different im not going to whip anyone, thats not in my nature at all and no You are not the wicked witch of the west or the Devil or anything else.  i actually dont believe in the Devil. Your only wrong if you know in your heart what you are doing is wrong, no one else can say that you are wrong.
respectfully
kevin


To put that in perspective... The Nazis didn't feel they were wrong and you would be hard-pressed to find an intelligent, sane individual that espouses those beliefs -- most of the people who follow that tend to be what we in America qualify as "redneck".

And regarding post 107 -- sorry, 1 percent is not a large minority. That is a tiny, tiny minority and one should do research when going into a situation where someone will tie you down! It's common sense and if someone doesn't have enough common sense for that... Well... We have Darwin awards.


_____________________________

Make no little plans. There is no magic in them to stir men's blood.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 120
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