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What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 8:29:48 AM

LeonM

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Joined: 2/24/2008
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im learning how to be a better dom and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect (im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship and in the long term) but anything would help

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 8:34:26 AM

HisPrincess05

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Joined: 10/31/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LeonM

im learning how to be a better dom and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect (im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship and in the long term) but anything would help

I've only been with my Master/dom for 9 months, thats how long I have been in the lifestyle as well. But I can tell you this what I expect from my dom/master is the following:

1. Honesty
2. Understanding my needs, desires, my fantasies, my hopes, my dreams, my goals
3. Love and Care
4. Compassion for things outside of the lifestyle
5. Patience
6. Strength- Firmness yet gentle in ways

Those are just some of the things that I looked for in searching for my Master. I'm lucky I found mine right off the bat. Its different for everybody I know but its a start.

(in reply to LeonM)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 8:37:30 AM

kristileigh

Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
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Set rules and guidelines:
   how the sub is expected to address You
   what to wear or not to wear
   what is expected of the sub in public(i am expected to walk a step to the side and behind)
   what both of Y/your goals are
   any hard limits?

just a few i am very sure You will get many more ideas.

Best of luck!
slave kristi

(in reply to LeonM)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 8:53:51 AM

Mercnbeth

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this slave expects a dom not to be submissive.

everything else would fall under a different category. this slave doesn't expect the descriptor of "dom" to indicate anything about one's integrity/patience/physical appearance/spiritual path/etc.

(in reply to LeonM)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 8:59:30 AM

novabunny

Posts: 57
Joined: 1/11/2008
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For this slave a Dominant is someone to look up to, respect and trust in. Master gives the girl honesty, freedom to make her own choices daily but is always a guiding light if the girl is unsure about something. This girl has been with her Master for 10 months and has grown in herself under His care and guidance. Master can be harsh when needed... but in a heart beat can be the kindest, most gentle man you will ever meet. Don't mean to get mushy but its how the girl is made to feel. The girl has had previous doms who weren't as good and she nows knows the difference.

x nova x

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 9:18:06 AM

sunshinedreams

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Joined: 1/22/2008
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I expect that He would be interested in refining the person I am, and not wanting to diminish me as a person. I feel that I need to know He is really looking out for my interests, as well as His own, to be able to trust enough to be able to put my life in His hands.

edited to add that this is what I did look for and did find

< Message edited by sunshinedreams -- 11/6/2008 9:19:49 AM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 9:23:08 AM

RCdc

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Nothing other than they should be themselves and not what others expect of them.

the.dark.

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 9:36:38 AM

lusciouslips19

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I expect from my Dominant that he be someone I can respect. Honor and Integrity and someone i can trust.

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(in reply to RCdc)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 9:41:14 AM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LeonM

im learning how to be a better dom and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect (im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship and in the long term) but anything would help

To be a better man, learn what YOUR slave expects, and decide which expectations you are willing to meet. Make sure she knows also what your expectations are, and the consequences of not meeting those expectations.

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(in reply to LeonM)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 10:22:55 AM

ProlificNeeds

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Each sub looks for different compatibility factors in their 'dream dom'. Worry about being yourself, not what other people want you to be.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 12:38:14 PM

Barelily

Posts: 96
Joined: 10/8/2008
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Honesty (even if it's brutal)
Draws out my need to be the best slave I can be for him
Experienced with the tools of the trade
Maturity and playfulness, yet stern
Intelligence (And I don't mean purely academic)
Clarity in his own mind and stability
Hairy chest and at least an average size penis

Knowledge of a slaves mind
Consistence with his rules
Allows me to be the basic me that is me

Caring, guidance, approachable, security...

Basically everything that comes in the wonderful package of a natural Dom.

Disclaimer: This post was made in response to the post made by LeonM and is based on my opinion and experiences only.

< Message edited by Barelily -- 11/6/2008 12:42:14 PM >

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 12:43:48 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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I expected that he didn't assume I was just like his last one but a person in my own right. That he paid attention to what I said and accepted the fact that I know me a lot better than he does. That he not condescend or pat me on the head saying "you'll change your mind little girl".

Basically, that he gave what he wanted to get. Respect, honesty, keeping one's word. Those things are for both sides of the slash.

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(in reply to Barelily)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 12:53:50 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LeonM

im learning how to be a better dom and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect (im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship and in the long term) but anything would help

Personally, I don't expect anything at all in the first week of anything.

As I'm in a long term M/s relationship.........I can say that what I GOT was someone that makes good decisions for me, that does what he says he's going to and is consistant.

agirl

(in reply to LeonM)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 1:47:19 PM

slavekal

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I expect a Mistress to tell me what she expects from me. I expect her to tell me what her requirements are and what the rewards/punishments are for certain behaviors. I expect her to be consistent and fair.

(in reply to agirl)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 2:05:44 PM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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~FR~

Every sub expects something different, reallistically the only one that can answer your question is the sub you are getting involved with.

There are the standards like honesty, reliability, consistancy.

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 4:02:14 PM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Personally, I don't expect anything at all in the first week of anything.

Agreed.

Long term - honesty, respect, integrity, to be himself .. all standard answers that most people want in any relationship. Everything else, I think would fall under what would be right for "our" relationship.

(in reply to agirl)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 4:15:32 PM

DavanKael

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Honesty, honour, loyalty, and the other things that would make someone compatible regardless of the dynamics.
Davan

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(in reply to kallisto)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 5:05:43 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

this slave expects a dom not to be submissive.

everything else would fall under a different category. this slave doesn't expect the descriptor of "dom" to indicate anything about one's integrity/patience/physical appearance/spiritual path/etc.

What a fantastic answer. I have nothing to add except to say ' what she said'

laura

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 5:06:20 PM

WildHoneyPie

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Joined: 9/7/2008
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Long term:
that what he needs is complementary to what I need
that he is comfortable enough in his own skin to take me in hand
that he is brave enough to be strong for me
that he cherishes me and is honored by my submission
that he brooks no insolence from me and never shirks from teaching me obedience
that he never ever shames me for being who I am

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There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

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(in reply to DavanKael)

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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 6:25:20 PM

Lilith13

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Joined: 11/2/2008
From: Takoma Park, Maryland
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I'm the sub--I'm not in a position to expect anything. My Domme molds my expectations to her; she doesn't adjust to fit mine.

In practical terms, however, I think a dom has to be decisive. I think he has to have a lot of knowledge about such things as human nature, relationships, the human body, and so forth. The dom has to prepare himself on his own.

< Message edited by Lilith13 -- 11/6/2008 6:26:19 PM >

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