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RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 6:38:52 PM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I would say start SLOW!!!  Master T started out with just soft bondage and then worked up to the full thing...it took about 5 months for him to go all out.  He is still adding things and we have been married for some time now.  I just think you need to build trust and just get to know your slave.  Get the slave's limits and discuss your desires and needs as well as hers.  Good luck!!!

(in reply to LeonM)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/6/2008 6:48:25 PM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		strong enough to respect my strength

I practice submission from a point of power in surrender, not a weakness of will.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/7/2008 12:18:58 PM   
littlemisssnarf


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		to add to the above....

consistency!

x


_____________________________

let the sun shine on your soul and smile...

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/7/2008 4:13:02 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I would expect him to get to know me and start to build a trust between us. I would expect him to not compare me to others he's been with. I would expect him to be honest and be himself. That is a good start.

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/7/2008 7:31:33 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I think the more important question is - what do you want to find out about a potential submissive and how will you use the information/feelings you have.  While I have some basic expectations for a D/s relationship, I look to the Dominant I'm speaking with to show me what it is HE expects of the relationship - and then I will know if we are compatible.  I don't expect him to listen to my expectations and change his to meet mine. 

This is why I think understanding yourself and what you want is so important on both sides of the slash - so that compatibility can be determined early on. 

(in reply to LeonM)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 12:53:46 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeonM

im learning how to be a better dom and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect   (im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship and in the long term)   but anything would help



Think of any other relationship and those characteristics will apply, here. Except you're expected to provide a certain amount of security. If it helps, you need to mean what you say and be good for your word, in order to effect security; once you've proven yourself to be less than trustworthy, it's over.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LeonM)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 12:56:32 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeonM

im learning how to be a better dom and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect   (im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship and in the long term)   but anything would help


Honesty is a good starting point. Without that, there is no reason to continue.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LeonM)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 1:07:55 AM   
HybridMoments


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I expect them to fly to the rescue whenever I spontaneouly combust. Or walk on water, or fly.

But thats just me.

_____________________________


Sarge: I think it would be ironic if our guns didn't shoot bullets, but instead squirted a healing salve that cured all wounds.
Caboose: I think it would be ironic if everything was made of iron.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 9:53:23 AM   
LydiaSciKitten


Posts: 43
Joined: 10/16/2008
From: Luxembourg, now in UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sheisreeds

strong enough to respect my strength

I practice submission from a point of power in surrender, not a weakness of will.


Beautiful post!
Except from the basics, such as honesty, respect and firmness, this is definitely a must!
A Dominant must be strong enough to allow for their submissive to be a strong person as well without feeling threatened.

(in reply to sheisreeds)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 10:36:02 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeonM

im learning how to be a better dom
My Dom is by nature dominant.  He learns to be a better man.  I have seen this in him.If you are possibly thinking you want to be a better Top, then that is a differ story, in my POV. 
and i think it would be easier if i learned what subs slaves expect  
A sub cannot tell you how to be a dominant man. She cannot teach you the innate qualities that makes you a dominant man.Each sub has expectations of their own, just as every Dom does.  There are no cookie cutters to help with expectations.On the other hand, she might be the teaching kind to help with Topping her. 
(im looking for mainly whats expected withen the first week of the relationship
Once again, how you approach, the characteristics and qualities you possess will dictate how you approach her and then of course you learn about who she is. Takes more than a week unless you are the kind that says Kneel Bitch and she walks away.  Well wait, she might kneel too. 
and in the long term)  
The journey is step at a time.  You are not promised a week, let alone a day or long term.  

(in reply to LeonM)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 11:27:16 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HybridMoments

I expect them to fly to the rescue whenever I spontaneouly combust. Or walk on water, or fly.

But thats just me.


LOL! I've been looking for one of those...

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to HybridMoments)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 11:40:04 AM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		In the first week... phone calls/txts/contact.

In the longer term... cuddles.

Everything else depends on the person and the relationship.

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/8/2008 6:16:51 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		I expect my dom to care for me and to always have my best interest in his actions, mind and heart. I have the most incredible dom who is observant and caring. He notices everything good about me and skips the bad. It's a look in his eyes of joy when i enter a room. It's simply amazing. He also discusses everythign with me, ahead of time and I don't have to wonder what he is going to do or how. It is very very reassuring. Also if I have any questions, I can ask.

Damn, I simply have the BEST Dom in the world! Grins.... Dreamer

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/10/2008 4:37:32 AM   
kittenpuss


Posts: 22
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline 		I expect my dom to be able to communicate how I might please him. If he doesn't and there are no rules and he doesn't guide me then it doesn't work. Be clear about what it is you want from your sub and also take time to nuture and understand her.

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What you expect from a dom - 11/10/2008 4:39:58 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		FR

I dont 'expect' anything, i have learned that expectations lead to disapointment. I Hope that they are honest, upfront and themselves, I hope that they are confident and self assured, I hope that they are interesting and take an interest. I expect nothing.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 35
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