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undertable -> How to feed your Houseboy... (11/6/2008 4:58:04 PM)
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This is more along the lines of "share your experience":
As a long-term full time houseboy, I get a lot of questions about my service. So many times, I am asked by Dominant individuals what it takes to own a houseboy. I jokingly reply, "A dirty house". In reality, it takes so much more- a commitment to an individual who is providing you service. I wrote the following piece a year ago, and just got around to putting it online. I hope you enjoy it, and are able to hear the voice of a happy, well fed, houseboy.
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A lot of people ask me what I get out of being a houseboy.
Normally, this comes after me explaining that I come to my Sirs' house, greet one or both of them, clean for 4-6 hours, then have my work checked (and fix any errors that come up), and then get praise (if they feel like it) then go home. There is no fucking, sucking or playing involved. Do I enjoy those things? Sure. They are physically exciting to me, but I am quickly bored by the "suck my dick, boy" routine. There is no deeper connection there- no intimacy.
When I perform service related tasks, I fall into this sub space. It is so deep that I want nothing more than to do whatever my dominant asks of me. The independent, self-assured, cocky young man I am day to day fades away, and is left with a boy who desperately needs the affection of his Sirs. This is so powerful to me. Every day, I wake up and do what I need to do to support myself. I am a survivor by nature- I am strong willed, passionate, and driven to succeed at all costs. But Jesus help me, I need a break once in a while. I need someone(s) strong, and caring (and it also helps when they're hot) to pull me aside and say, "you're going to do what I/we say for a while, boy."
Every time I enter into service with someone like my Ma'am or my Sirs, they are allowing me to place my burdens at their front door, and take a break in their world for a few hours. Their world (that may be flawed in its own right) is a different world than the one I am forced to conform to 24/7. It's not about escaping. It is about rejuvenating.
It is about mentorship. Those who have me in their service give me the invaluable gifts of their time and energy. They show me how and what it is to be a kinky, poly lover. They show me how to navigate the local scene. They show me their love, and joy, agitation, and fear. They let me share myself with them. They have an open door.
And through this all, they show me the man I want to become. It is about becoming a man of integrity. A man who will show up. A man who will do what he says he will do. A man capable of showing affection, and then, one capable of showing love. A man who is a leader, not only at work, but in his home and in his community. This is what those who I serve are to me- the kind of man I want to become.
All of this is why I serve. My service fills the deepest parts of me that I let so few see- the boy becoming a man in a world that sometimes seems just a little too big to handle. And on that day, when I am grown, I hope that I will still find myself at the feet of those who have helped me the most- those who I serve.
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