RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (Full Version)

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BossyShoeBitch -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 10:56:15 PM)

*curtsey*  thank you Sir!



SimplyMichael -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:05:38 PM)

Considers a witty comment to win her heart but instead throws her over his shoulders and runs off with her ignoring her squeels of protest...oh yeah, I did do that, didn't I? 

Intelligence IS important. One of the things I adore about BSB is that I can talk to her without having to think "is this over her head?", a feeling I relish deeply.  Being intellectually matched on some level is really important. 

(edited for punctuation and grammar by BossyGrammarBitch) [:D]



SimplyMichael -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:12:46 PM)

Woman,

I think we did to this thread what we did to that last hotel room, the one where there was blood everywhere!  Lets tip the help and sneak out of here.



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:12:48 PM)

I'm back... Did you miss me?



SimplyMichael -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:18:08 PM)

I do miss you, I think it is high time I threw you over my shoulder again, this time to run along the beach rather than up a steep mountain trail.



NorthernGent -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:19:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sravaka

Obviously, there are many kinds of intelligence. 



I've undertaken one IQ test in my life......'think I was 14 and it was imposed upon us by one of our teachers, rather than a choice.....I can't remember the exact score but at best it was average for my age. Throughout school, I excelled in History, English Literature and Religious Education, but was always found wanting in the sciences (I once scored 13% in a Physics exam......I mean, turn up and write your name on the paper and you got 10%!), and it wasn't that I didn't try, I simply couldn't get my head around science subjects. The point of this is to say that in part at least, intelligence is perceived according to where your interests lie; consequently, common ground is of more significance.

Ultimately, though, a world of regurgitating the same, old tired lines, would be a mundane one; it follows thus inspiration is a matter of the following: can you come up with something different?

Edited length of quote.



ResidentSadist -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:23:14 PM)

Your Dominant doesn’t have to be smarter than you in order for you obey them and conduct a successful BDSM style relationship.  However, if you “live for intellectual discourse” and consider yourself “over-educated”, the other aspects of a good relationship foundation would seem to fall short if you don’t find someone intellectually compatible. 

I have seen more than one smart submissive friend that fell in love with a dominant that was less than their intellectual equal.  I have seen both positive and negative results from this kind if pairing.  My exposure to this situation is limited so this is by no means a sweeping prediction for all but I share my limited exposure to it with hopes it will help your perspectives.

In many monogamous examples I have seen the relationships exhaust themselves because passion only carried the submissive for so long before life’s other qualities created desires that eventually required fulfillment.  In more than a dozen examples it never seemed to go much past the first year.

In a few poly examples, I have seen a Dominant utilize the intellect of his submissive and the sub felt quite fulfilled by having assets that were a benefit to the family.  The submissive found intimate intellectual balance and fulfillment from the family as a whole.  It seemed to be healthy and constructive for all.  2 poly examples immediately come to mind that have 5 years and over 10 years of bliss to their credit so far. 

One apple doesn’t make a barrel and I am not trying to sell dumb poly, smart mono or anything else.  I am simply trying to expand perspectives.  I am sure that any well-crafted relationship, mono/poly/smart/average, can be successful if it allows both parties fulfillment.  Like a domestically oriented service submissive that likes to feed their Dominant, the occasional restaurant shouldn’t hurt the relationship.  I am sure that non Mensa member Dominants, be they mono or poly, can allow a smart submissive to “feed their head” as needed even if all the meals don’t come from home. 



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:23:41 PM)

But i think I can do the mountain trail this time around!


Ok. Sorry. End of hijack..

It's not about IQ or how many years of education someone has.  For me, it's about insight,intellect,common sense and a thirst for knowledge.  If I  am with someone who lacks a decent level of any of these traits, it ain't for long.



SimplyMichael -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:25:48 PM)

Lets leave this thread to those who aren't in estrus over IQ.



sravaka -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:26:11 PM)

Lovely to see that you two are so well matched.

Thanks to everyone else for your replies... so much food for thought already.  I agree whole-heartedly that one of the keys is being with someone from whom you can learn things, whatever those things may be, and hopeful who is also willing to learn from you in return.

It's easy to say "never settle"... and I think that myself, often...  but if the choices are between finding some component to settle on and being alone?  What does one do?  What is most negotiable?

(probably rhetorical questions)







SailingBum -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:30:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuddlyParrotGirl

quote:

mine falls in the top 98%


Um, I would certainly hope so.  It if fell within the bottom 2% you probably couldn't figure out how to post to this forum.

I believe you probably mean the 98th percentile, not the top 98%. 


ehh I think whoever posted that pulled the 98 number out of "thin air"  It's pretty obvious that they have zero understanding of how basic percentages work. Sheesh. 

It's real curious how the "self proclaimed" smart folks crawl out of the woodwork, to say see I'm supersmart but that is not why I'm saying it in this thread.

Me on the other hand I'm a idoit who has somehow muddled thru life, made a couple of bucks.  In other words, your average sailor.  Who has girl who is in a lot of ways smarter than me and in other ways not as smart.  She has talents that I do not have.  I have talents that she enjois.  Somehow it all works out.

BadOne



moonvine -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:33:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sravaka


It's easy to say "never settle"... and I think that myself, often...  but if the choices are between finding some component to settle on and being alone?  What does one do?  What is most negotiable?




I've been asking that myself a lot lately as well. 



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:34:05 PM)

One component to settle on?  Which component?



NuevaVida -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:36:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sravaka
but if the choices are between finding some component to settle on and being alone?  What does one do?  What is most negotiable?




I suppose it depends on if you see yourself "alone" as settling. I find it is perfectly OK to be alone. I tend to enjoy my own company! So, for me, submitting to someone is an enhancement to my life. Therefore, I would much rather be alone than in a relationship of any sort that will ultimately leave me frustrated. Only you can decide for yourself where your marker is.



ResidentSadist -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:43:53 PM)

You know you are a collarme addict when you answer rhetorical questions.  LOL

I’d settle for someone that was “pussy smart” and good company because I can get other intellectual satisfactions from things like books.  Although a book makes for good company for many people, I prefer something more cuddly. 




Lockit -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:45:41 PM)

I will stay alone and ready rather than to settle.  Life is hard enough... but to spend it... I mean waste it with someone arguing or bored to death... so not worth the risk of passing a good fit up because you were no longer alone.  At least being single you are open to finding someone.  What happens if you settle and a month later the good fit comes along?  Ouch!



NuevaVida -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:48:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You know you are a collarme addict when you answer rhetorical questions.  LOL



Oh hell I answer rhetorical questions all the time. But then I talk to myself and answer back, too. I'm a strange bird that way. [;)]



ResidentSadist -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:54:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I will stay alone and ready rather than to settle.  Life is hard enough... but to spend it... I mean waste it with someone arguing or bored to death... so not worth the risk of passing a good fit up because you were no longer alone.  At least being single you are open to finding someone.  What happens if you settle and a month later the good fit comes along?  Ouch!

I took the OP at face value to mean “intellectual equal-or-superior”.  I don’t think they meant an argumentative dolt.  In my reply I meant that I could be happy with someone of lesser intellect but did not mean to imply that their shoe size surpassed their IQ.



suhlut -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:55:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You know you are a collarme addict when you answer rhetorical questions.  LOL

I’d settle for someone that was “pussy smart” and good company because I can get other intellectual satisfactions from things like books.  Although a book makes for good company for many people, I prefer something more cuddly. 




Sooooo... what is "pussy smart"?



MasterFireMaam -> RE: smarts and domliness/subliness (11/6/2008 11:55:52 PM)

In a nutshell:

It's useful to remember that is a need for you isn't for everyone. Sweeping generalizations are rarely true.

Don't settle. If this is important to you, make it a prime factor in choosing a partner.


Master Fire



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