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Padriag -> RE: What Is It With Women...? (12/19/2005 2:39:23 AM)
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This is in reply to no one in particular, just some last remarks before I move on to other things.
I was half surprised, and half not, to find this thread had gone on so long. When I left yesterday it was at 4 pages. This morning as I sit here eating breakfast before starting my day, its at 9. A lot has been said, and I find that there is not much left for me to say, just some final thoughts.
Foxer started this thread, it would seem, because he wanted to grumble about something. He's not getting the response he wants from women, he doesn't understand why, and he blames them. Looking back over the thread it appears to me that most of his questions were rhetorical, he didn't really want answers or advice, he just wanted to vent and maybe find someone who would agree with him. He did, so that much at least seems to have worked for him.
But I find most of my final thoughts on this thread aren't about Foxer at all, but various issues that have been raised in it. It is those things I'm going to comment on, consider it food for thought.
Much has been said about people's preferences, some of it very critical. The truth is anyone can have any preference they want, no matter what it is, and that's their right. If Foxer wants a woman in her mid 40's, there's nothing wrong with that. Just the other day I saw a cute 20 yr old looking for a master and her preference is that he be at least 50. Doesn't matter what you want, somewhere out there you can find it if you look long enough and with enough effort. Want a woman that wants to be treated as an object, they're out there. Want one impeccably dressed and groomed, they're out there. Want a 40 something Barbara Bach look alike... somewhere, she's out there. Anything you can imagine, its out there. The question isn't what someone wants, they can want anything they like... the question is, can they get it?
There, as the bard put it, is the rub.
Take a look at Hugh Hefner. Here's a guy who dared to dream bigger than most ever would. He wanted to spend his life taking pictures of beautiful women... naked... and make money doing it... and he did. He's 78 now, living in a mansion with three beautiful girlfriends who are all in their 20s. Most guys would give their left nut for any one of those girls, he's got three. Anything you want you can have... if you can get it. Hef knew how to get what he wanted. He knew what it took to attract those women, to get them to do what he wanted, so that he could live the life he wanted. There's a lesson about real dominance in that, something all us dominants could learn from Hef. Success is the ultimate form of dominance... because it goes beyond dominant desires, dominant fantasies, dominant personalities... and becomes dominant results, dominance applied... successfully. Hef may never pick up a whip or tie someone up... but he's more dominant than most in this "lifestyle" will ever understand.
How did he manage it? There have been books written about that, how he got to where he is. But maybe the simplest lesson is that Hef understood that to get what you want in life means knowing how to motivate people. You don't hear him grumbling about "what's up with women", ever. Ask Hef what he thinks of women... he loves them, all of them. He makes women feel good about themselves, about who they are, about what they do... even while they're taking their clothes off for him. And beautiful women from around the world have lined up to do exactly that. Hard to argue with that kind of success.
Something else about Hef, he worked at what he wanted. He was a man with a plan who wasn't afraid to put the effort into it it would take to make his dreams a reality. You can have anything you want, but you have to be able to go get it... and that's going to take some effort. There's no such thing as a lazy dom or master, but there are plenty of lazy wishful thinkers. There are those who are willing to do what it takes, whatever it takes, to get what they want out of life. They'll get it because they won't give up and they won't give in and they won't stop trying and learning until they succeed. Those are the people we end up calling winners, we admire them for it, and rightly so.
This lifestyle is incredibly diverse, there are so many options and possibilities that you can have virtually anything you can imagine... and then some. We have learned to paint or lives and relationships in a myriad of colors. But you will never explain colors to a blind man, he just won't understand. And there are none so blind, as those that refuse to see.
Thanks to all those who said such nice things about me and what I've said. Have a good week folks, I gotta go to work.
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