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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 6:22:37 PM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
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I realize this was to Orion, MadRabbit, but I also kinda answered that question in my post above, and that is that honour, aside from perceptions, obviously, culturally induced and otherwise, is largely a matter of what you have given, which is then bestowed upon you in return.

The more you give of yourself to others, the more you uphold of yourself in adversity, to stick to your ethics, to be a morally or ethically sound individual, etc. Which honestly comes down again, to what you've given to others... This is what equates to how much honour you have, and at least, in my mind, is what shows me who, within the Gorean community has honour. Or any community. I don't want to single them out. That's not what it's about.

But honour is largely a measure of the type of person you are, gauged by what you bestow upon others. What comes out of you, returns via the perceptions of others about you. What people see of you, in other words. Even if all they do is see, and you've done nothing for them, in particular, they would bestow you with honour for what you've done for others, if what you've done comes across as important to them.

It's hard to say that if a person is a liar, but a good semaritin, that they have honour, but at the same time, perhaps they do. They may not be all that trustworthy, when it comes to what they say, but it seems more about what they do.

Just my take.

Wicked Pleasures,

  Master Tiger


_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 6:36:28 PM   
Kimveri


Posts: 783
Joined: 7/14/2007
From: Vegas
Status: offline
Evening, folks,

Howdy, Tiger,

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
There is not one example where a girl or boy (unless circumstances forced the so-called choice) factually "consented" implicitly (meaning of their own volition, coming to the decision on their own) decided to beg to become slave in the first place. Once there, sure, plenty of examples of consensually choosing a specific Master over another, but none was consensual to begin with. Hence, condonement of non-consensual slavery. This argument, honestly, is bulletproof. I've read plenty of the books, know from where I speak, and don't speak on something unless I do. If I don't know, I'll tell you, "I don't know."


You’re mistaken. Do you recall the three books about Jason? He had a young woman living with him at one time, whose name I cannot recall, whom he refused to enslave in spite of her pleas, arguments & demands for it. There was also a woman that Tarl rescued from some dire situation who begged to be made slave. IIRC, Tarl kept her as captive but refused to enslave her. I’m sure there are more examples, but I’m not in possession of the eBooks (just the paperbacks) & thus time constrains my ability to quickly search them out.

Also, exceptions are not irrelevant because they are rare. They remain examples of consensuality which by their very presence refute the “bulletproof”-ness of your statement that there’s “not one example” of consensual slavery.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
So all in all, a Gorean stating they aren't at the minimum a B&D practitioner, is a liar. Now why would I outright call someone a liar?

Simple. The simple act of enslavement is to hold one in bondage. Period. To train a slave, requires not just discipline of the slave, but for the Owner to be disciplined enough to hold the slave to the discipline they inflict, to actively teach them the ropes, so to speak. Discipline is involved in all forms of M/s.


You’re mistaken yet again. While these things may be part of a Gorean’s life, they also may NOT be. The presence of a slave, bound or not, under discipline or not, is not required in order for someone to live a Gorean life. M/s is not the only, or even the most prevalent, form of relationship dynamic for a Gorean.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
Goreans are Men.


….AND women...at least, according to the author:

quote:

“I know of no prouder, more self-reliant, more magnificent creature than the free Gorean, male or female;” ~pg8Marauders


Perhaps better recon would be in order next time? ;-)

Well wishes,

~Kimveri

_____________________________

"You get what you accept."

"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 7:28:33 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
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Greetings Tiger,

A very well thought out post. Do not agree with all, and you state several things that are mistakes, I am not going to debate them here. Through many Cmails and some of the comments here, any serious discussion would be derailed by many who just wish to snipe and sling mud. I do welcome you to come to the Gorean section, which is where I have been told these things should be discussed.

Live well,
Orion

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to TigerNINTails)
Profile   Post #: 203
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 7:39:22 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Do you think it's possible for one to honor a code throughout his entire life in the face of the harsh realities of the world without ever rationalizing it, breaking it, and evolving it?


Yes you can honor it, and one of the best ways is to first realize it is not set it stone. A code needs to be fluid, like blood that gives you life. You must use reason with the code and each situation, and it must evolve.

quote:


If that be, the case, is the virtue of honor less a question of whether or not one adheres their code, but rather how big the gaps is between their actions and that code?


When I come upon a situation that is against one of my codes, but upholds another or that by reason the end result of follow the code goes against the spirit of my code, I then must ask 1) Is this just an exception or 2) Is this part of my code flawed. If it is 1, then I must rely upon reason and possibly break that code. This should not be done lightly and I often must rethink it several times to make sure that the human behavior of rationalizing an action is not what is driving me to break that code. Exceptions will happen, but they should be very, very rare. If it is 2 then I must examine my code again, find the flaws and rewrite this could. What guides me is what I see as virtues, and if a code does not help guide me to or preserve a virtue then it must change. These changes will occur more often in the early stages of life and as you have more life experiences, the code should become more refined.

quote:


What is the standard that is applied to determine whether or not a man "has" "honor" Gorean or otherwise?


Determination of honor when applied externally is whether someone is living up to my code. I do not determine whether someone is Gorean or not, I just determine if I like or respect them.

I am purposefully refraining from speaking directly about Gor, as I have been told that this is not the forum for such discussion.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 7:47:52 PM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
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Hi Kimveri,

Respectfully, of course, I have to disagree that I'm mistaken on your first point, though I've NOT read the books of Jason and his would-be girl. Though I did slightly misspeak. What I was referring to was a successful beg, whereby the girl or boy made it into slavery, therefore, making or rendering if you will, their specific situation of slavery to be fully consensual.

If the subject is "consensuality" in slavery, then that automatically and incontrovertibly indicates that all parties involved are consenting. Both Owner and slave must consent. Begging to be made slave does not indicate consensuality of slavery, if the begging is refused, as the refusing individual removes "slavery" in any context from the equation. It equates to the fact that the person begged for that, but was refused. There was another situation, where a slave gave up her caravan, betraying them, and then when she would be turned out into the desert, with nothing but a Tarn Disk, she was beside herself at her mistake and begged to be enslaved again.

OF course, this was self-serving, to save her own miserable skin, and in this situation too, she was refused. If she'd been accepted into slavery again, it's entirely possible that it still wouldn't be considered consensual as it was distress which caused the decision to beg for collar in the first place.

IF the person being begged refuses to take the woman or man for whatever reason, "slavery" or the "act of enslavement" does not exist, and becomes moot. Again, splitting hairs over the fact that someone begged as proof that "consensual slavery" exists in Gor is something of a problem to me.

If you want to support a situation in which a woman begged, not out of circumstances, or a man begged, for that matter, to be made slave, in the Gor series, and was granted that slavery, then I'd concede the point. But I don't see successful support for a willing and successful beg to be made slave here in these examples. Begging and NOT receiving the enslavement does NOT constitute consensual slavery. The consenting situation must be successful in order to factually constitute "consenting slavery" or "consensual slavery".

Furthermore, onto another point you had made, which I must address is this statement:

"You’re mistaken yet again. While these things may be part of a Gorean’s life, they also may NOT be. The presence of a slave, bound or not, under discipline or not, is not required in order for someone to live a Gorean life. M/s is not the only, or even the most prevalent, form of relationship dynamic for a Gorean."

I agree with that point, if it wasn't taken out of context. However, I could have again, been a slight bit more concise, and differentiated between a Gorean and Gorean Owner of slaves. But we were talking about Gor, M/s and BDSM, so I rather gathered that people would make the requisite (very small) logical step in taking what I said in that context without splitting hairs on semantics.

What I stated is that bondage as in slavery, and discipline, as in teaching, and guiding, even punishment, is part of all forms of M/s. Gor incorporates an M/s structure, and therefore, in the societal context of Gor, M/s is a reality, but I never said it was the end all reality of Gor. You seem to have misread me or something, because you addressed something that wasn't there.

I didn't say that M/s had to be the primary mode of operation for a Gorean, nor would I have, nor is it. I simply said that those Goreans that do practice enslavement of others do in fact incorporate the same methods of training and incorporating their slaves into their lives as those that are not identified as Gorean. Though it took you, to bring up the incorrect context for me to put it in more clear and concise terms, so I thank you for that.

However, I also would like to actually address, that while I agree, as with all other HUMAN'S not all HUMAN's are into M/s or BDSM... Be they Gorean or not... Show me a Gorean that didn't actually come to the LIFESTYLE of Gor, wanting to own or be owned.

While I see Gorean's that do NOT own, how many here can identify with Gor without the slavery aspects? Why would they participate, without the slavery aspects? And if they would, then how is that different than just being 'nilla?

For sure, there are role-playing aspects, but again, that's a form of play time that people engage in, and of course it has it's place, however, when it all comes down to it, everything that could be done by Goreans as "non-Owners" are things you can do right here on Earth as a vanilla person. Well, provided there is an equivalent of said activity. We have machines that fly, not super thunder chickens called Tarns. We have horses, not two legged lizards. But you get the point. There are farmers on Gor, peasants, princes, kings, queens, blacksmiths, fletchers, armorers and shop owners. But if we're talking about B&D, the presumption must be that slaves or slave training is involved, which involves ownership. Especially if "Goreans don't engage in any aspect of BDSM as pleasure." To which I'd have to loudly scream bullshit.

And I don't agree that it's not the most prevalent form of relationship for Goreans. Most females on the Gor boards are slaves. Most males claim to be Owners of one sort or another. So how is this argument of yours supported?

And if you look back at my post where you pulled the partial quote, you'll see I had already corrected myself, not attempting to call it Men as in the gender, but Man, as in Humanity. I don't think like Goreans in general, I don't buy their natural order. That is, I don't believe the natural order has anything to do with gender. It has everything to do with being true to natural inclinations. Male or female. I wasn't attempting to isolate Men from Women in my post whatsoever.

So in conclusion, perhaps better examination and analyzation might be in order as well, eh?


Wicked Pleasures,

   Master Tiger


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Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 8:05:26 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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It is a mistake to thing that all mercenaries fight to money alone. Many fight for a cause too. Like any other area of society there are greedy bastards and there are worthy, honourable men and women. fact is, most times  someone or a government contacts a known and usually well reputed mercenary leader and offers a contract for a specific job to be completed in or over a set time limit. This is done because:
  • The Government does not have the troops to do the job.
  • The Government does not have the trustworthy troops to do the job.
  • People need something done (like a rescue mission) and Governments do not want to be seen to be involved.
  • Governments want something done or someone removed and do not want any connection with th matter (plausable denyability)
Yes mercenaries get high pay but they too have no government health insurance or medical benefits so they need to pay for all such bills. Mercenary contracts are high because we must sort out our own arms, munitions and logistics all of which costs a large amount of money. Mercenaries who are dishonourable (untrustworthy and dishonest etc) do not get very much work and none with any well respected mercenary company.  Just a few thoughts to peruse.. BTW half of my company were females. Nothing like equal opportunities.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 11/9/2008 8:07:30 PM >


_____________________________

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 206
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 8:08:55 PM   
tazzygirl


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sorry, work interrupted my thoughts eariler

i mentioned consensual slavery, the thives and the like because someone else mentioned force enslavement as a way of life for goreans... that only happens in the books.  off line slavery is still very much consensual.

as far as honor, wouldnt that be subjective?  what i may consider to be an honorable act, another may consider to be foolish, but, if the person is living up to their own moral codes and practices, isnt that their honor?

for example.. my adult um is my world... even if he were to commit a grave act, even murder, i would stand by him, support him no matter what.  but, how many would consider my actions dishonorable to the family of the person he killed?a man, faced with the option of starvation for his ums or stealing what is needed for them to survive.  where is his honor?  only he can answer that, yes?

as far as never reading how women beg the collars of men in the books, perhaps you missed Slavegirl of gor?  two entries from that book showing women did indeed beg collars consensually are as follows.....

Clitus Vitellius
 
I shook with pleasure as I stood on the line, and looked at Clitus Vitellius. Within the Ta-Teera my thighs, even looking at him, were hot and damp. He did not notice me, and was talking to Thurnus. He was the sort of man who would set his terms for a woman, even a free woman. No woman, even one who was free, would be permitted to relate to him save on his terms, and on his terms alone. He would not argue, nor would he discuss, nor persuade nor negotiate; to the free woman´s horror she would understand that she must, as he saw fit, submit herself as hopelessly and will-lessly as a slave girl for his consideration. He would enter into no relationship except on his own terms. His terms were simple, that the woman be yielded to him, totally, that she be as much his, and as helplessly, though by her own free will, as any slave girl on whom he might choose to fix his collar. He would be, even in a companionship, to the scandal of Ar, master. No woman who failed to meet these understood, publicized and well-known terms would be acceptable.
I looked at my master, sitting cross-legged by the fire, talking with Thurnus.
Yet hundreds of the highborn free women of Ar, many rich, had avidly sought companionship with Clitus Vitellius.
I did not blame them. Had I been a free woman of Ar, I, too, would have sought such companionship. To have such a man as Clitus Vitellius I would have accepted his terms. So, too, I think would have any true woman. Surely it is better to have a true man on any terms than to have half a man, or no man at all. Men are masters; if the man be strong, the woman must submit. Given the opportunity to relate to a true man, few women will settle for less. Indeed, true women, in the belly of them, desire to submit to true men. It is an ancient instinct bred into the bellies of beautiful, feminine women.
“Remove your clothing,” would my master say to a high-born free woman, suing to be considered by him in companionship. She would do so, and be assessed. If he was not pleased, he would send her weeping from his presence, clutching the rag of a slave, to don it and return to her dwelling. If he was not displeased he would gesture to the tiles before him where there waited a goblet of slave wine which she, kneeling before him, would eagerly drink. She would serve him that night as a slave. In the morning, she, nude, would prepare and serve to him his breakfast, after which he would make fresh use of her; he would then send her from his presence, first pressing into her hand a coin, usually a copper tarsk or a silver tarsk, commensurate with the quality of her service. Such women went from his quarters proudly, clad in the full regalia of the free woman. They were not discontent. They had been touched by Clitus Vitellius. Some women claimed that they had earned from Clitus Vitellius a tarn disk of gold. Such a coin would buy several girls such as myself. Sometimes a girl, rather than be sent from his presence, would beg to be kept as a collared slave. She would then sign a document of enslavement which, after her signature was affixed, she would be powerless to alter or break, for she would then be only a slave. Clitus Vitellius would commonly keep such a girl for a few days, and then discard her, usually giving her to a friend or selling her. I wondered if such a girl, braceleted, and pulled away from him on her leash, regretted her choice. She was then in bondage, subject to chains and the whip, and the will of men. What had she then to look forward to but the degradation of the sales block, being exposed to men as a slave and being vended in a public market; being owned by a succession of hard masters, accustomed to the management of girls such as she; onerous work and strict discipline; and the continuous exploitation of her body and service? Perhaps, for a woman, the thrill of being owned and commanded, of being at the absolute mercy of a powerful man, knowing that she must obey him, and experiencing, if she be fortunate, incredible, helpless, incomparable love, of the sort which can be felt only by a completely rightless woman, fully and absolutely owned by a man, in his total bondage. But such thoughts would not be likely to be prominent in the mind of a leashed girl, helplessly braceleted, being dragged to her first sale.
I looked at my master. How magnificent he was.
His collar, I had heard, was one of the most sought collars in Ar.
When he strode through the streets free women sometimes threw themselves before him, tearing away their veils and robes, begging for his collar.
He was such a man.
One´s freedom is small enough price to pay, whisper some highborn women of Ar among themselves, for even ten days in the collar of Clitus Vitellius. The boredoms of freedom are small enough price to pay surely for even a brief sojourn in the arms of such a man, they conjecture.
But such women, I told myself, must be natural slaves, even though they be legally free, as I was not. If they are natural slaves, I asked myself, should they not be made slaves? Why should one who is a natural slave not be a slave? Can it be wrong to enslave a natural slave? Is it not right that natural slaves be enslaved? Is it not what they want? I looked at my master. What woman, I asked, would not be the natural slave of such a man? He was a natural master. Any woman, I suspected, to such a man, would be a natural slave. Almost any woman, I suspected, looking on such a man, would sense herself his natural slave.
That would explain why the women of Ar would twist on their couches like bitches in heat thinking of Clitus Vitellius. In the darkness, remembering him, his stride, his glance, and limbs, they would have intuited him as their master.
“Prepare to run, Slaves!” called a peasant.
I looked at my master. The heat in my thighs made me want to run to him but I dared not leave the line.
Earlier in the afternoon, casually, Thurnus had aroused me, and no one had satisfied me.
I had spent the afternoon in a slave girl´s misery.
I wanted to run to my master.
I dared not leave the line.
I looked at my master. I wondered if I, though a girl of Earth, were a natural slave.
How I wanted him to have me.
Clitus Vitellius, in spite of the desires of the women of Ar, had never taken a companion.
I did not think he ever would. He was Clitus Vitellius. He would have slave girls instead.
He would always keep his girls in collars.
I loved him! SLavegirl of Gor, page 154 to 156
 
and this as well

Slave girl of Gor
Book 11 : Chapter 7

 Later I lay in his arms, an owned slave girl, content beside the mightiness of her master.
How I loved him!
"Strange," he said, looking up at the Gorean stars.
"Master?" I asked.
"You are obviously only a common girl," he said.
"Yes, Master," I said. I began to kiss him gently about the shoulder.
"Only a common girl," he said.
It was true. He was Clitus Vitellius, a Captain, of the city of Ar. I was only Dina.
"Yes, Master," I said.
"I fear that I might begin to care for you," he said.
"If Dina has found favor with her master," I said, "she is pleased."
"I must fight this weakness," he said.
"Whip me," I said.
"No," he said.
"It is not you who is weak, Master," I said. "It is I, Dina, in your arms, who am without strength." I kissed him.
"I am a captain," he said. "I must be strong."
"I am a slave girl," I said. "I must be weak."
"I must be strong," he said.
"You did not seem weak to me, Master," I said, "when you laughed, and took me, and named me Dina. Then you seemed magnificent in your power and pride."
"It was only the conquest of a slave girl," he said.
"Yes, Master," I said, "I am your conquest." It was true. Dina, the Earth girl, she who had once been Judy Thornton, a lovely college student and poetess, was now the enslaved love conquest of Clitus Vitellius of Ar.
"You trouble me," he said, angrily.
"Forgive me, Master," I said.
"I should rid myself of you," he said.
"Permit me to follow at the heels of the least of your soldiers," I said. I truly did not fear that he would rid himself of me. I loved him. I was confident that he, too, in spite of himself, cared for me.
"Master," I said.
"Yes," he said.
"Has Dina pleased you this night?" I asked.
"Yes," he said.
"I want your collar," I said.
There was a long silence. Then he said, "You are an Earth girl. Yet you beg to wear a collar?"
"Yes, Master," I said.
It is said, in a Gorean proverb, that a man, in his heart, desires freedom, and that a woman, in her belly, yearns for love. The collar, in its way, answers both needs. The man is most free, owning the slave. He may do what he wishes with her. The woman, on the other hand, being owned, is institutionally and helplessly subject, in her status as slave, to the submissions of love.
I sensed my master feared his feelings for me. This gave me power over him.
"Dina wants Master’s collar," I whispered, kissing at him. The collar would make me the equal of Eta.
"I decide what slaves will wear my collar," he said.
"Yes, Master," I said, chastened. If he saw fit to put me in his collar, he would; if he did not, he would not.
"Does Dina love her master?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, Master!" I whispered. I so loved him!
"Have I given you choice in this?" he asked.
"No, Master," I said. "You have made me love you, helplessly and wholly."
"Your feelings, then," he asked, "have been fully engaged, and you are now mine, at my complete mercy, fully and vulnerably, with no shred of pride or dignity left?"
"Yes, Master," I whispered.
"You acknowledge yourself then hopelessly in love with me, and as a slave girl?"
"Yes, Master," I said.
"Amusing," he said.
"Master?" I asked.
"I, and the men, and other girls," lie said, "will leave Tabuk’s Ford in the morning. You will remain behind. I am giving you to Thurnus."
 
 edited to add... he later took dina as his slave

"Do you understand,Master?" I asked, "if I had the choice, I would choose not to be free but to be your slave."
A woman, I had learned, must choose between freedom and love. Both are estimable virtues. Let each choose which is best for her.
"But I do not give you a choice," he said.
"Of course not,Master," I said. "You are Gorean."
He looked down at the furs.
"Perhaps I will sell you," he said.
"You may do as you wish, Master," I said. I knew I was at his complete mercy, only a bond girl.
He seemed angry.
"Bring me wine,Master," I said.
He looked at me, suddenly.
"A girl is only testing her master," I smiled.
Suddenly he struck me, slapping me cruelly across the mouth. It hurt me. I tasted a bit of blood.
"Do you think," he asked, "that because I care for you I will not be strong with you?"
"No Master," I said.
I lay in the shadow of the slave ring. A chain and heavy collar lay at the foot of the ring, the chain attached to the ring.
He took the heaavy metal collar and closed it about my throat, over and about the lighter collar I wore, confining me at the ring, on the furs at the foot of his couch.
Then he touched me.
"I see you will be strong with me, Master," I said.
"What a fool I am," he said, "to care for a miserable Earth-girl slave."
"I ask only to love and serve you,Master,"I said.
"Yet you are attractive," he said.
"A girl is grateful to her master, should he find her pleasing," I said.
"So you would choose to be a slave?" he asked.
"Yes, Master," I said.
"Slut," he said.
"Yes,Master," I said.
"It is I who will decide," he said.
"Yes,Master," I said.
"I decide----" he said.
"Yes, Master," I begged.
"----that you are my slave."
"Yes,Master!" I cried.
Then I writhed in his arms as he took me, exploding in the deepest and most profound ecstasies a female can know, those of the slave orgasm, known only to the owned woman.
"How could I love you so much," he asked, "if I did not truly own you, if you were not fully mine?" "I do not know, Master," I said. Clitus Vitellius had confessed his love for a slave. I hoped he would not now beat me.

~Slave Girl of Gor...page 442-443~

so, she did beg.. and he accepted.. eventually

tazzy

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 11/9/2008 8:29:03 PM >


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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 207
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 8:16:30 PM   
Kimveri


Posts: 783
Joined: 7/14/2007
From: Vegas
Status: offline
Evenin', Tiger,

Both females I mentioned did eventually get their wish -- they were enslaved, as they had begged to be, thus your "bulletproof insistence of "not one example"  of consensuality is mistaken.

As for the suggestion that I "misread", addressing something that "wasn't there"...let me clarify:

You said:
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
So all in all, a Gorean stating they aren't at the minimum a B&D practitioner, is a liar. Now why would I outright call someone a liar?

Simple. The simple act of enslavement is to hold one in bondage. Period.


I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm fairly certain I've not "misread" you here. A Gorean who does not own a slave, has no interest in owning a slave & who is not interested in B&D, S&M or any other sort of recreational kink, is still Gorean....& not a liar. I live with a man who came to the Gorean way of living with no interest in owning (or being owned).

I AM having some difficulty with what appears to be contradictory remarks in your latest post:

You initially say:
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
I didn't say that M/s had to be the primary mode of operation for a Gorean, nor would I have, nor is it.

{emphasis mine}

...but then you say:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
And I don't agree that it's not the most prevalent form of relationship for Goreans.


So...which is it, in your opinion?

Also, I'm not sure why Goreans cannot be "nilla". I know more than a few who do not indulge in kink of any sort & I'm pretty sure that's not had any impact on their ability to live a Gorean life.

I apologize if the partial quotes were confusing to you. They are there merely for referential direction. I cannot remove or edit your original post: it remains there on the thread precisely as you posted it, for all to read. My inclusion of segments from it are meant as a courtesy to facillitate anyone wishing to go back & read the relevant portion in its full context.

I do not agree that 'natural order' is limited solely to gender-based distinctions. I think the order of nature, as the author termed it, is manifested in a variety of ways, gender being just one. As I've stated before on this thread, the dangling appendage is not the sole prerequisite for a leadership role in a Gorean relationship. It just happens to be attached to the leader the majority of the time. ;-P

Good recon can usually show itself in clarity of intent....the first time out. But thanks for the second try.

Well wishes,

~Kimveri





_____________________________

"You get what you accept."

"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

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Profile   Post #: 208
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 9:59:15 PM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
Okay, one last time, and let's see if we can quit getting this twisted into something it's not for good.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kimveri

Evenin', Tiger,

Both females I mentioned did eventually get their wish -- they were enslaved, as they had begged to be, thus your "bulletproof insistence of "not one example"  of consensuality is mistaken.

Okay, and as I see from tazzygirl above, and I remember reading that before... But Clitus was not her first Owner. She was taken from Earth by force. Non-consensual. Just as the others had, I'm sure, if you had stopped to think, had been slave before. Once on Gor, hell, before she ever arrived on Gor, she had no choice.

Non-consensual, and I did differentiate between situations like the above in my post, if people had bothered reading that completely, without twisting it into something not there.

By stating "other than in situations whereby they were already enslaved and had chosen one Master over another."

Now, of course, there is of course, situations highlighted where certain females whom were not owned had begged, so it's probable consensual slavery is something that would have existed.

I admit that. I may have misspoken there. But I didn't in that I've never seen the case.

I don't recall a single situation where the slave entered slavery the first time in a consensual manner. Many that beg a collar had already experienced slavery from a non-consensual standpoint and realized themselves to be slaves, so it stands to reason they would, from that point forward, at any time they were again free, seek it out.

However, my quote is:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
There is not one example where a girl or boy (unless circumstances forced the so-called choice) factually "consented" implicitly (meaning of their own volition, coming to the decision on their own) decided to beg to become slave in the first place.

Note, I said "in the first place." What does that mean to you? To me, it means from the get go, out of the box, out of the gate, right from jump street, the first thing, to beg first, before being taken, to ask to be enslaved without having to be taken first. And outside of duress or distress or without coersion.

Of course, tazzygirl also countered that speaking of Clitus Vitallus above, whereby some women would strip themselves and throw themselves at his feet, begging to be taken and collared (which, honestly, I can see this as being humour and hyperboli, and not to be taken literally), as it could have been written as one of those "It was as if she was throwing herself all over me" sorta things.

So it could rather easily mean something as humour, spoken in the context of the world of Gor, but having a comparison in relativity here.

As for the suggestion that I "misread", addressing something that "wasn't there"...let me clarify:

You said:
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
So all in all, a Gorean stating they aren't at the minimum a B&D practitioner, is a liar. Now why would I outright call someone a liar?

Simple. The simple act of enslavement is to hold one in bondage. Period.


I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm fairly certain I've not "misread" you here. A Gorean who does not own a slave, has no interest in owning a slave & who is not interested in B&D, S&M or any other sort of recreational kink, is still Gorean....& not a liar.

A Gorean who fits the above bolded criteria, isn't the point of discussion either, now is it? I was speaking of those that do, that fit into the areas you are so adamant about discarding as important aspects of the current discussion. Therefore, if you're not misreading, you are intentionally twisting and attempting to manipulate what I've said into something it isn't. Which, honestly, really isn't all that becoming of anyone.

I also, and you're still bringing it up, clarified this as being "A Gorean OWNER" in my subsequent post to you, and that should have been enough, and damn obvious. Yet you still don't seem to wish to acknowledge this. But instead, apparently, you want to twist it into those that are NOT Gorean OWNERS. Don't put words in my mouth, or remove that which I have said.

A Gorean Owner that states that they don't use bondage in any sense of the word while owning slaves is a liar. The simple act of enslavement in and of itself fits a definition of bondage. Bondage being a lack of freedom to choose their own path, under the guidance, command and structure imposed by another, bound to a home, a person or place... E.G. Enslaved.

A Gorean Owner that says they don't use discipline in any sense of the word while owning slaves is a liar. A slave that is rebellious will have to be disciplined, even if it is just sent to the corner to have a time out.

That is what I said. Is it clear, and dumbed down enough for you now?

Further, you also stated in your previous post that "relevancy isn't determined by rarity" or some such, and I'm telling you here and now, I never stated that being rare had anything to do with relevency. If I didn't say "It's rare, therefore irrelevant" you are misquoting and putting words in my mouth. Neither concept I tolerate.


I live with a man who came to the Gorean way of living with no interest in owning (or being owned).

And where is this man? Is he refuting my statement, or are you piggy-backing on someone's claims (whom I've not seen here, so far as I know) for a self-serving purpose to simply be right?

I AM having some difficulty with what appears to be contradictory remarks in your latest post:

You initially say:
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
I didn't say that M/s had to be the primary mode of operation for a Gorean, nor would I have, nor is it.

{emphasis mine}

...but then you say:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails
And I don't agree that it's not the most prevalent form of relationship for Goreans.


So...which is it, in your opinion?

Both. It's not a matter of choosing one over the other, both statements are correct. One only needs to open their eyes, and their mind to the concept.

They are two separate things, if you actually take a look at the definition of primary, meaning first. I agree that it doesn't have to be, though often is, but does NOT have to be the primary mode of operation. Meaning that:

A Master to slave relationship does not have to be the first engaged method of interacting when one claims to be Gorean.

It is not contradictory to follow that with the statement, according to my experience and by looking around at different forum boards, different "kinky chats", and last but certainly not least, real life,  that "M/s IS the most COMMON mode of interaction amongst the group of those people engaged in the Gorean lifestyle."

They are not the same statement, and in fact, convey two different messages, and therefore, are not contradictory in the slightest. They don't even really reference one another. On one hand, one is stating that one does NOT need to engage in M/s to be Gorean, and in the next, I say that I see more people engaging in M/s within Gor than NOT engaging in M/s within Gor.

So one is stating it (M/s) isn't, and I never said that M/s was the first choice of operational modes for someone that identifies with Gor, and the other is stating that while it doesn't have to be, nor was it specifically the first choice for some...

It happens to be the most common mode of operation for many. Not the primary mode, but the most common. common = prevalent. Common does not = primary. Primary does not = Prevalent. Primary = First. Prevalent = Common or obvious. Pay attention to what the words really mean, and stop trying to tack extra meanings that don't exist.

In otherwords, take my words in the context and in the meaning that they are designed (as in how they are defined in the English language, and how they might be written in say... Websters...) Or not at all.

Also, I'm not sure why Goreans cannot be "nilla". I know more than a few who do not indulge in kink of any sort & I'm pretty sure that's not had any impact on their ability to live a Gorean life.

I didn't say they couldn't be. While that might be the case however, if you look around, more than a few doesn't even come close to being a healthy cross section of those that are, and those few weren't the topic of conversation initially, until you brought it up.

I apologize if the partial quotes were confusing to you. They are there merely for referential direction. I cannot remove or edit your original post: it remains there on the thread precisely as you posted it, for all to read. My inclusion of segments from it are meant as a courtesy to facillitate anyone wishing to go back & read the relevant portion in its full context.

I realize this, I'm not a moron, I've been around the boards for awhile. But your perception of my words is what I question, and your choice of snippets, while complete, are being highlighted in such a way that I don't understand where you're getting your understanding of what I'm saying. Because your understanding is as yet, apparently, nothing like what I've written, with the exception of the places where I outright admitted to misspeaking, and of course, I corrected myself.

I do not agree that 'natural order' is limited solely to gender-based distinctions.

Again, I didn't say it was. I said the Gorean version of it is. The society is pointedly and decidedly misogynistic, and very male supremacist oriented.

I think the order of nature, as the author termed it, is manifested in a variety of ways, gender being just one.

Gender being the primary and in this case, the most prevalent. Merit, as it's been said factors, but that seems more like to factor "man-man" not "Gorean - Gorean".

As I've stated before on this thread, the dangling appendage is not the sole prerequisite for a leadership role in a Gorean relationship. It just happens to be attached to the leader the majority of the time. ;-P

Yep, 99% of the time, which is why I state the overall of the society is misogynistic. And again, I'm not stating any of this to dig at Goreans. It's an observation. My recon... And well, I'm not the only one that has made the observation. Only the blind don't see it.

Good recon can usually show itself in clarity of intent....the first time out. But thanks for the second try.

Well, regardless of recon, if the analyst was efficient, I'd not have had to submit the intel for a third time. Perhaps it's not my recon that's faulty. Perhaps some reading comprehension tests are in order.

Well wishes,

~Kimveri


Indeed.

Tiger




_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

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Profile   Post #: 209
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/9/2008 11:11:34 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
To start with, I am not sniping anyone here but I do need to ask TigerNINTails if he has any personal experience in the Gorean Lifestyle? Has he lived a Gorean Lifestyle as opposed to something similar without the love of Gor? I ask this because some of his comments remind me of people who are basically theorists arguing Gor similar to TigerNINTails with no history of living within the Gorean environment. I have encounted this on many times as I have been lectured by theorists on Vietnam and combat when the armchair generals (note my use of lower case) on matters I lived through in 5 years 'Nam and later in other troubled areas about the world. Frankly I would prefer theorists to ask and debate from a theoretical basis and avoid assumptions or making statements which to others make them appear to be experts. When in doubt just ask people living and involved with the Gorean Lifestyle. Most of them agree with the basics and debate thoose matters which are personal interpretations. Slave wise there are many Goreans who do not own slaves and probably for several reasons will never own them nor have they any interest in BDSM or any form of kink. Yet as Goreans they are open to chang in circumstances and do appreciate the visual and benifits of service when visiting a home which does have slaves. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 210
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 12:12:05 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

quote:

  do you instead continue to hide behind your feeble attempts at maintaining your 'manly ego'?


that is a real sad remark....



I take it that is the whole of your argument?

Since all your other debates and discussions often end the same way; let us just say that I expected nothing more.


yes it is al I have to say.
Al my debates end like this with you, because you seem expert in pushing it that way..making it personal ;)
And we 2 don't need to do that and ruins others people pleasure.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 211
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 12:15:36 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

The more you give of yourself to others, the more you uphold of yourself in adversity, to stick to your ethics, to be a morally or ethically sound individual, etc. Which honestly comes down again, to what you've given to others... This is what equates to how much honour you have, and at least, in my mind, is what shows me who, within the Gorean community has honour. Or any community. I don't want to single them out. That's not what it's about.


what kinds of things do you give to others..to gain honour?
Is it help...advise..?

I guess...honours is besides a word...a personal view..and the view others have on you? That would make it a social status? ( or cultural one as said before)

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 11/10/2008 12:17:38 AM >

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 212
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 12:30:00 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

To start with, I am not sniping anyone here but I do need to ask TigerNINTails if he has any personal experience in the Gorean Lifestyle? Has he lived a Gorean Lifestyle as opposed to something similar without the love of Gor? I ask this because some of his comments remind me of people who are basically theorists arguing Gor similar to TigerNINTails with no history of living within the Gorean environment. I have encounted this on many times as I have been lectured by theorists on Vietnam and combat when the armchair generals (note my use of lower case) on matters I lived through in 5 years 'Nam and later in other troubled areas about the world. Frankly I would prefer theorists to ask and debate from a theoretical basis and avoid assumptions or making statements which to others make them appear to be experts. When in doubt just ask people living and involved with the Gorean Lifestyle. Most of them agree with the basics and debate thoose matters which are personal interpretations. Slave wise there are many Goreans who do not own slaves and probably for several reasons will never own them nor have they any interest in BDSM or any form of kink. Yet as Goreans they are open to chang in circumstances and do appreciate the visual and benifits of service when visiting a home which does have slaves. 


There was a just a thread opened on the gorean section...discussing this issue..and why people leave. All the different views on Gor (which also hapen in the normal BDSM section)
We will never all agree....but we at least could keep it a healthy decent discussion...because the subject is "nice" and interesting.
LIfestyles can't be caught in 1 opinion...they are "individual thought patterns"..perhaps that is why we can't even call it a "style".


< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 11/10/2008 12:31:05 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 213
RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 1:36:09 AM   
MarcusofAr


Posts: 532
Joined: 3/12/2008
Status: offline
Hello, Tiger!

I read your post with much interest. You have a lot of good things to say on the topic of Gor, many of which are spot on. Further, your mention of how you came to know about Gor, and how you formed your opinions on it, is quite similar to my own experiences. So-- well met.

This isn't a Gorean posting area, per se, so the last thing I want to do is step on anyone's toes. Nor do I want to rattle off some long, tiresome screed about "Gor this" and "Gor that." There are other, perhaps more appropriate places for the lengthy discussion of such matters.

So instead of reading this from an adversarial vantage point-- which is NOT how it is intended-- instead, I ask your indulgence to allow me to share some information and some opinions on the topics you've mentioned.

First of all: there is ample evidence of consensual slavery in Norman's Gor books.

You are certainly correct that much of the text of those books describes the practices which occur within Gorean society, and Gorean society, obviously, is a slave-holding culture. Just as was ancient Greece, ancient Rome, and almost the entirety of the ancient world. That pretty much goes without saying. In any such society, there are going to be a lot of nonconsensual slaves simply as a matter of course. As it was on Earth, so it is on Gor. But you already know that.

What you might NOT know is that, WITHIN the confines of Gorean slave-holding society, the author goes to great length to explore consensual slavery as it exists as a facet of human nature. And there are definitive references to it, both in practice and as a topic of discussion.

Here are just two examples of "classic begs" as they appear in the Gor books:

(Note: I've edited out some of the intervening text which deals with confusing plot elements from the books, to make it easier to follow. Norman is well known for his rambling, almost stream-of-consciousness style of prose, and he tends to drift a bit at times. So I'll spare you that.)

In the following example, Tarl and his companion Marcus have just rescued a free girl, still in her mid-teens, from the clutches of would-be slavers as a favor to her father. They swiftly discover that the girl doesn't WANT to be rescued:

quote:

"Where are we going?" she asked.
"we are taking you home," I said.
"No!" she cried, aghast.
I regarded her.
"You are to take me to the loot area in the district of Anbar!" she said. "When I was within the chest I heard it so said!"
"You are going home," I said.
"we could sell her," said Marcus.
"Yes!" cried the girl. "Sell me!"
"No," I said. "You are going home."

...

"I am in your power," she said. "You can do with me as you wish. I beg to be taken to the loot pits. I beg to be taken there, or sold!"
"No," I said.
"Keep me then for yourselves!" she said, looking from me to Marcus, then back again.
"No," I said.
"Surely you do not doubt that I am a slave, and need to be a slave!" she wept.
"I do not doubt that," I said, "but it is a bit too early to harvest you."

...

"Why will you return me to my father?" she asked.
"Because you are young," I said.
"And?" she asked, skeptically.
"Because we owe your father something," I said.
"And you owe me nothing?" she said.
"No," I said. "We owe you nothing." Then I added, "Nothing is owed to a slave."
"Yes, Master," she said.
"On your feet," I said.
"I will get my collar!" she said. "If necessary I will slacken my veil. I will lift my robes in ascending a curb, that my ankles might be glimpsed. I will dare to walk the remote districts, and to tread high bridges!"
"Must a command be repeated?"I asked.
"No Master," she said quickly, rising.
"I will get my collar!" she repeated.

--Magicians of Gor, pp. 198-202


Ultimately, it is implied that she intends to keep begging and submitting until she enters into the state of slavery. Of her own free will, and at her own request.

In another example, we see Lady Ina, a captured free woman, who discovers (to her own surprise) that she likes being held in bondage, and concludes that she is therefore a natural slave. And says so:

quote:

"I am a slave," she whispered, frightened. She spoke extremely softly, in an almost inaudible whisper, like a soft breath at my ear, but there was no mistaking the words.
"You are a free woman," I reminded her, softly.
"No," she whispered. "I am a slave. I know I am a slave. My feelings!"

...

"Lady Ina is a slave," she said.
"You are a free woman," I said.
"Use me then," she said, "as whatever you take me to be."
"Does Lady Ina, the free woman, beg use?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "Lady Ina, the free woman, begs use, and as what she truly is, a slave."

--Vagabonds of Gor, pp.321-322


Ultimately her request is granted.

These are just two examples I had at hand. There are many more.

But we are also given many references which directly explain the practice of consensual slavery as it exists in Gorean society:

quote:

"Some girls, whose hunger for bondage is just under the surface, if not manifest, are probably prepared to be superb slaves almost instantly, with no pain, or perhaps no more than a modicum of pain, perhaps only enough to assure them of the reality of their condition, that they are truly slaves, and subject to the strict discipline of an uncompromising Master. Such women, eager to serve, rejoicing in the achievement at long last of this profound fulfillment, hitherto only dreamed of, ask little more than what to do and how to do it."

--Mercenaries of Gor


"The true slave knows that her slavery, her natural slavery, is not a matter of the brand and collar, which have more to do with legalities, but of herself."

--Vagabonds of Gor

“What does a free woman do," she asked, “when she learns she is a slave?”
“You are free,” I said. “The decision is yours. But beware of certain decisions, for if you make them, you would then no longer be free. Your decisions then might rather be concerned with such things as how to best please your master, within certain latitudes which he might permit you.”
She was quiet, her head on my chest.
“The self-enslavement decision is an interesting one,” I said, “for it is a decision which is freely made, being made by a free individual, but once made, it is irrevocable, for the individual is then no longer free, but only a property.”

--Mercenaries of Gor


"If a free woman would assure herself of her man’s love, she could not do better than, in effect, become his slave. She can beg of him, if she senses in herself the true bondage of love, an enslavement ceremony, in which she proclaims herself, and becomes, his slave. In their most secret and intimate relations thereafter she lives and loves as his slave. If a woman fears to do this she may, on an experimental basis, resort to limited self-contracting, in which her documents will contain stated termination dates. Thus, by her own free will, she becomes a slave for a specific period, ranging usually from an evening to a year. The woman enters into this arrangement freely; she cannot, of course, withdraw from it in the same way."

--Blood Brothers of Gor


"'You may freely enter into the state of bondage,' I told her, `but you may not freely leave it. This thing, once it is done to you, is, on your part, irreversible. It is not then within your power to break, alter or amend it in any way. You will then, you see, no longer be a free person, but only a slave."

--Blood Brothers of Gor


So, yes, it exists and is recognized on Gor. Because that's really the point that Norman is trying to make in all those books-- that some people are naturally compelled to seek such relationships.

But unless you've read all of the books, you would likely miss much of what I quoted above. All of those quotes are from books in the upper teens and twenties of the series. They came later on, as Norman developed his Gorean culture and explained more about how it worked.

Being Gorean is just a way of looking at things. Of course there is no Gor. Those are Earth books written by an Earth man about human beings, who originally came from Earth and brought bits of Earth culture with them.

The process of looking at things through a theoretically-more Gorean viewpoint is what we call the Gorean Philosophy. One need not engage in formal BDSM activities to embrace it. Some do. Others don't.

Though you are absolutely correct that most who profess a Gorean lifestyle on boards such as these have an interest in the Master/slave dynamic, and seek to practice some elements of it in their daily life.

According to the Gorean philosophical outlook, the whole world practices D/s in a thousand different forms, constantly. Nor is all of that strictly based on gender. Though Goreans believe that it does both sexes a disservice to ignore what makes them unique and different from another. Goreans are sexist, true-- they all subscribe to a belief in the existence of humanity as a sexually dimorphic species. We just kind of feel it's dumb to pretend otherwise, and try to embrace and exalt both sexes based upon what makes them special unto themselves.

Men and women possess many different attributes, both physically and emotionally. We believe its healthy to acknowledge and celebrate these special traits when they manifest themselves.

Your use of the word "misogynistic" to describe Gor may therefore be a misnomer. Female slaves are treated harshly on Gor (as they were in every historical slave-holding society that ever existed), but male slaves on Gor are treated MUCH worse. So if you base your opinion on the descriptions of how female slaves are treated in the Gor books, then actually the evidence supports that Gorean culture is more misandrist than misogynistic. Though you rarely see much of male slaves on Gor, because captured males are usually slain before they ever have a chance to wear a collar, and even when enslaved they often get shuffled off to the salt mines (or whatever) to work themselves to death. Such is life in a slave-holding culture-- Rome, Greece, Egypt... that's just the downside of any slave economy.

Perhaps a better word for Gorean culture would be "patriarchal." Which it is, in the strictest sense of the word. Again, like most cultures of the ancient world.

John Norman wrote the following in the Gor books:

quote:

"Human females are such rich and wonderful creatures. Their sexual life, and feelings, are subtle, complex and deep. How naive is the man who believes that having sex with a woman is so little or so brief a thing as to fall within the parameters of a horizontal plane, the simple stimulations of a skin, the results attendant upon a simplistic manual dexterity. How woefully ignorant are the engineers of sexuality. How much to learn have even her artists and poets! Women are so inordinately precious. They are so sensitive, so beautiful, so intelligent and needful. No man has yet counted the dimensions of a woman's love. Who can measure the horizons of her heart? Few things, I suspect, are more real than those which seem most intangible."

--pg.181-182, Blood Brothers of Gor


I don't see misogyny there. Quite the opposite. And Norman repeats that sentiment, and more, many times in the series.

Again that came from one of the later books. You may never have had the opportunity to read it.

I don't believe anything I write here is going to sway the opinions of those who have already made up their minds about the pros and cons of Gor. But if I can help bridge the gap a bit, I'm happy to do it.

Finally, there are certainly sadists on Gor, and masochists, and countless other variations of sexual preference. Human beings are, after all, human. Too often I see one single quote, in which Norman mentioned "sadism and wanton cruelty" as being rare upon Gor, stretched to have a different meaning than I feel the author intended. In context it appears he was talking about the kind of people who like to kick puppies and pull the wings off birds, or beat up the smaller and weaker in order to feel important-- THAT kind of sadism. But it's patently obvious that some degree of sexual sadism, and the converse, are present among the Goreans in those books. They are human, after all, and those are human traits.

I apologize if I've bored you with this long post. But if you ever feel like investing the time and effort, you might consider picking up where you left off and reading a bit more about Gor. There's a lot that came after you stopped reading, and you might be surprised at what is there.

Finally, I leave you with this:

quote:

The reason why a definitive explanation of "honor" has always eluded us, in my opinion, is that we have been looking for it in the wrong place. We have attempted to define honor as a "quality" or collection of "qualities," or a "quantity." We have never significantly examined the possibility that it might be, in fact, a "result."

Honor is a particular form of esteem. It begins as self-esteem-- but a highly specific type of self-esteem, amassed for the maintenance of a particular standard of behavior. The qualifying behavior is strict and unyielding adherence to the pursuit and furtherance of the truth. Such adherence results in scrupulously honest behavior, behavior which is constantly being measured by the yardstick of intellectual honesty and "right" behavior, as defined by one's conscience, personal ethics, subjective reality, and cultural mores.

Those who are scrupulously honest with themselves and others, despite pressing temptations not to be so, may then honestly and without arrogance esteem themselves for doing so. As they restrict themselves to actions which honesty tells them are honor-able ("able to be honored") they maintain their personal honor-- which is the self-esteem their behavior earns for them.

Other people who similarly serve the pursuit and furtherance of the truth, and "right" behavior, may, through experience, come to recognize that a particular person is "honorable." They then hold that person, again, in high esteem. This esteem (almost identical to the self-esteem called honor, though bestowed by others) is what we might call "public honor." It is NOT the totality of a person's reputation (a reputation can be good or bad-- reputation is a collective expectation of a person's presumed behavior based upon their past actions). It is, rather, simply a mitigating factor to one's reputation, usually recognized at least to some extent by all, but especially important to others who also serve the pursuit and furtherance of the truth. Honor is important to the honorable, who understand it and recognize it when they see it.

This esteem from other people ("public honor") is usually granted only over a period of time, and amassing it is a slow process. It can diminish or be revoked, should an individual behave in such a way that they reveal themselves to be habitually untrustworthy, and thus no longer seriously dedicated to the pursuit and furtherance of the truth, and "right" behavior. In such a case, one's "honor" may suffer, because despite one's confidence in one's personal view of whether or not one is worthy of honor, adherence to the truth demands that the opinions of other honorable folk must be investigated and given what credence they rightfully deserve. In service to the truth, ALL evidence must be examined according to its own merit-- even the evidence of opinion. To discount evidence is to be lax in one's service to the truth. In order that truth (and therefore, honesty) be kept paramount, all evidence must be earnestly and dispassionately reviewed, that any truth might be extracted from it.

Also, honorable people honor (hold in esteem) other honorable people. That esteem demands that their opinions be heard and reviewed when one examines one's own behavior, past or present, to determine whether or not it is truly worthy of esteem (honor-able).

The only way one can lose ALL honor is if they cease to care about it, abandoning any effort to behave according to the honorable standard. They no longer even try to serve the truth or remain scrupulously honest, because they have decided that they no longer choose to do so. They then surrender any self-esteem they may have had from past honorable behavior, and no longer care about maintaining the esteem of other honorable people. They no longer enter the opinions of other honorable folk into evidence. They ignore them, except in areas where it effects their reputation.


That's my definition, for what it's worth.

Your mileage may vary, of course. Nor is there anything wrong with that.

I wish you well!

_Marcus_


(in reply to TigerNINTails)
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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 2:06:33 AM   
JustDarkness


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I like your explantion of the honour part.
So what is honourable is always in the eye of the beholder? Is that what you say?

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 2:27:18 AM   
MarcusofAr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness
So what is honourable is always in the eye of the beholder? Is that what you say?


Not entirely.

Honor, like all morality, is based in an acceptance and adherence to what is true, and therefore "right."

Different cultures have different understandings of what is true, and what is right.

So culture is a factor. It's not considered honorable for an American businessman to react to a crushing defeat by blowing his brains out with a .45. It's considered "the coward's way out" in his culture.

Not so with ancient Romans or Tokugawa era Samurai. Different culture, different concept of "true" and "right."

Society is also a factor.

Just because you yourself believe something is true or right doesn't mean you can do anything you want. In order to be intellectually honest about it, you have to judge the truth based not only on what you happen to believe, but what OTHER honorable people accept is true. And if there is objective evidence that your personal opinion is wrong, you are expected to accept it and revise your opinion.

You may think its honorable to pick daisies. But if your society doesn't agree, and your culture provides evidence that it's wrong to do so, you have to take that into account.

Culture provides you with the yardstick to judge what is honorable behavior, and your society judges you and helps keeps you honest.

If one doesn't give a damn about any of it, then one may be "dishonorable" all day long and it doesn't matter. Because one doesn't care.

But if you CARE about the truth, and about doing what's right, then you have to judge yourself and act accordingly. With scrupulous self-honesty.

That's the core of what honor is, and how it functions. In my opinion.

I wish you well,

_Marcus_


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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 2:47:04 AM   
JustDarkness


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Honour sounds rather difficult. Society changes so often. What can be hourable today...can be different tomorrow.
Some nice examples you gave though.

I guess because honour is so difficult to capture..it often is found in smaller groups....people who think alike..that gather. Instead of say a whole country.


interesting topic. Going to try to find this book.
http://yalepress.yale.edu/reviews.asp?isbn=9780300125641

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 11/10/2008 2:49:46 AM >

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 2:48:16 AM   
TigerNINTails


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Iron Bear,

I'm not dealing in theories. Your comparisons to 'Nam and other venues of warfare in the world are not the same, nor do they have comparison to Gor. They exist. Gor doesn't. Well, except in the spirits of those that are dedicated to it. There is no "Gorean Environment" other than that which you might create, and in that, it's only up to your interpretation of what a "Gorean Environment" looks like. Based, of course, on your books, but that is not going to bring the bosk to life, or turn wine into kalana, coffee into paga, or a girl into a heated slut because you think it so.

Furthermore, when it comes to people that have lived the Gorean lifestyle, I've met one person in real life, that claims Gorean, and he's Gorean to a tee... He and I get along great. Most of the people that I've met online pale in comparison to the reality of someone that lives it in a practical sense. So who are you really asking, if you're in doubt? What qualifies someone to give the answers?

In general, I see tons of lip-service, and no reality based and/or practical answers. So when it comes to living it, the only way to really get the dirt is to get in the dirt. If you catch my drift. Yes, I loved Gor... Till it was inundated by ass-jackets that read A book and then decided that however that book painted it, is how it is, when every book paints it differently. Because every man is different, and every slave unique, it's impossible to pin down who the hell has their head on their shoulders, and who has it up their ass until someone has an issue, usually occuring during application.

And Gor wasn't written for people to live it. It was written as an instructional aid to his students, and of course, having the side benefits of creating him an income.

So short answer to your question, yes, I've lived it, but no, I'm not assuming. I don't assume anything. Perhaps I come across abrasive, but I'm just speakin' my mind, it's who I am, and for that I've no apology to make.

All else, yes, I do agree, you should ask, but you should be wary whom you ask. There are lots of people "claiming" this or that... But it's really in what they do, not what they say. In otherwords, on a message board, it's probably more in how they say it, not as much what they're saying. Though what they're saying has merit, obviously, because it's important. But in determining who's real about shit, and who's shoving a pile of dog crap down your throat, it's more how they come across to you. Does what they're saying make sense, or does it sound like so much reciprocated tripe...

There's lots of echos, and few original thoughts, I guess is my point. I'm not trying to snipe at Gor, I'm really not, I love the values, the principles, and a lot of the concepts. I utilize many in my own M/s today... I just don't... Love the people. I'll put it that way.
====
Just Darkness,

As for what you do to gain honour, it's ... Do what's right, even when it's painful. Stand for the man next to you, even when it puts you in the line of fire... And even if you don't know him. Defend your home, and your brethren's. Defend the weak or those incapable of defense... Respect your parents, help when you see that you should. Hold family above others... Hold yourself to your ethics, and maintain true to yourself and those around you. Steer clear of lieing, cheating and stealing, conduct yourself honestly, and as well, don't think nor speak dishonestly... Show fortitude in the face of adversity... Honour others for their own levels of greatness... Learn to bend, when it will acheive more readily a common goal... Show compassion to those in need of it, Show selflessness to any... Be respectful and mindful of others... Exhibit courage in the face of fear... Stay your hand when you should, and engage fully when you should... It's giving to others in general based on the things you both do for them as well as show them in examples of your actions, including taking action to stop wrongs. These are a few ways to gain honour in the eyes of others, and honestly, to me, at anyrate, honour in the eyes of others is the only honour there really is.

Wicked Pleasures,

  Tiger



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Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 3:19:56 AM   
MarcusofAr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Honour sounds rather difficult. Society changes so often. What can be hourable today...can be different tomorrow.
Some nice examples you gave though.


It is because it is so difficult that it is so highly valued by those who assign importance to it.

Some people find a wallet full of money in the street and return it to its rightful owner. Others pocket the cash and toss the wallet in the nearest trash can. Some people would call the person who returned the money "stupid."

People who actually care about honor, however, might call that person "honorable." Because that person honestly recognized that returning the money was the right thing to do, according to the objective truth espoused by his culture, and did it-- despite the possible selfish benefit that might have come from keeping the money.

Honor isn't difficult because it's all that hard to figure out what's right. Our culture has already taught us that, provided we were paying attention.

Honorable behavior is difficult-- and is thus celebrated and valued accordingly-- because it is essentially based in selflessness. Selflessness in the cause of personal honesty, in service to the truth. In most applications it is a higher form of altruism. Which we as humans instinctively respect (except for the sociopathic minority).

It's a human thing, and seems to exist across all cultures.

I wish you well,

_Marcus_


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RE: The differance between lifestyles - 11/10/2008 3:48:22 AM   
TigerNINTails


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Marcus,

Thank you for the posting you offered. I've read probably 6 of the books, perhaps. Just damn hard to find, and I don't have them any longer either. I have one here, but don't remember the name of it... Tribesmen of Gor, I think... About the Northmen... Relate much better to them than anyone else in the series, honestly, lol...

I can't remember the names of them all, and of course, I can't remember the passages in them either, verbatim, nor do I even have them. What I'm remembering is what I read 20 years ago, other than the one I mentioned above, which last I read anything of that was 3 years ago. It's around here somewhere.

In any case, on the point that it's not misongynistic, I would say the evidence of it is largely it's attitude that other than for sexual service, the woman is largely considered nothing. That they treat men harsher as slaves is simply a reflection of mysoginy in "shame for the failure as a man" sorta thing.

This is the view I have on that, and I'm having a very hard time shaking it. You see, I feel, that if the society was balanced, they'd view ALL slaves as having value. That ALL slaves, no matter the gender, including those of self imposed bondage, or consenting slavery, would have their place, by the ACTUAL respect of the individual for being true to who they are. A slave that is taken as slave, and sent to the salt mines or what have you, may be different, as it was a fate most often reserved for criminals... Not something that say, a captive of war would suffer, or the man that got caught unawares by bandits, what have you.

I just don't see Gor as being balanced or healthy for both genders, and in some respects, it's less healthy for men, even being patriarchal, of course, and I do see the patriarchal standpoint, as it is, it's impossible to miss. But I don't see misandry in it whatsoever, considering the point that misandry, would indicate feminine superiority, not just sexually, but in all things over males, not that there was a misandrynistic nature of males over male slaves. I don't even know if that makes sense.

I'm tired. So I'm going to go to bed, before I go off and say something entirely too stupid tonight.

Well met indeed.

Wicked Pleasures,

Tiger


_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

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