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RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/11/2008 6:43:22 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

Dear thoughtful brother,

Thank you for your continual badgering of our mother and causing her such worry and stress at 76, especially now since our father is in the hospital. Making her feel guilty for being under the weather and politely turning down your kindly offer of hauling her up to the hospital in your truck, especialy since she has MS and has great difficulty getting in/out of vehicles w/the added strain of her emphysema. Thank you for gong out of your way to always remind her of how bad of a mother she has been to you, you are such a thoughtful and caring son to constantly dredge up the past no matter how distorted your memory of it may be. Thank you for being at the hospital and dragging our mother along who isn't feeling well w/ our dad tonight so that I can use your being there as an excuse to stay home. I can already tell that this holiday season will be one of the best that we've ever had!

< Message edited by LeMis -- 11/11/2008 6:45:19 PM >

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to HisNani)

Post #: 41

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/12/2008 10:00:02 AM

IAMChristine

Posts: 588
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Salt Lake City
Status: offline

Dear miss HR director at the company i work for,

thank you so much for helping me with my online problem and signing up for health insurance. since someone got my SS number wrong in the system, i've not been able to get onto the company's online site and get everything arranged. you told me that you'd get it all taken care of for me and i've hounded you almost every day for a month now. now i've gotten a letter in the mail saying that i have no coverage because i missed the sign up deadline. thank you so much for following through with this, now i have to wait until the next open window comes up so i can have health insurance. this just makes my day, and it motivates me even more than i was before to look for employment elsewhere.

_____________________________

formerly christine1. now i'm better, stronger, faster.

yes i'm pro gun...i'm not going to sit around with a fucking rolling pin and hope for the best.

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 42

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/12/2008 10:27:22 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Could someone tell me how to get my organ to ism??

(in reply to HisNani)

Post #: 43

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/12/2008 4:56:44 PM

HisNani

Posts: 54
Joined: 11/3/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Dear Next Door Neighbor Maryann,

I wonder if you ever thought it possible that your startle last night was your own damn fault? I realize that you care oh so much about the neighborhood, and love to keep up to date with everything that has nothing to do with your own life, but I wonder if maybe you go too far. Do you think that knowing more about my family than my family does is a little creepy? Or that you live with the Korean man you are married to who never says anything but always gets screamed at? I'm glad you want us to give you our copy of The Historical Washington Post About Obama's Election and you want someone to go over to your house to fix the DVD player you managed to break, and that you care so much that you pop out of bushes and from behind cars whenever one of our family members is about the neighborhood. As much as I love knowing all of the juicy gossip from the neighborhood, and hearing you tell stories about your friends from work and in the home owner's association, I'm really only outside to walk the dog, most of the time, and only have as long as it takes for him to poo before I have to be back indoors. But I'm sure you already know this without me telling you.
So, just as a thought, maybe if you stopped trying so hard to be involved in others' lives and stopped trying to peek through people's windows, the fact my father installed a motion sensor light by the basement door wouldn't have scared the pee out of you like it did last night. I truly believe you deserved it for being a busy body.
But I'm sure you knew that already.

Dear Oscar The Wiener Dog,

While I appreciate greatly that you know to sit next to your leash by the door when you need to go out, I do not appreciate you waiting until the exact moment that I'm cooking dinner to do so. Also, I do not appreciate that you suddenly decide you reaaally don't have to pee that bad then you realize it's drizzling outside. You will go out anyway. You will pee. You will not bother me during dinner again.
I hope we're clear you little spoiled brat of a dog! =)

Dear FedEx Truck Drivers, UPS Truck Drivers, USPS Truck Drivers and DHL Truck Drivers,

I realize that our little cul-de-sac is just BEGGING to be raced around at high speeds in a heavy truck with a not-so-balanced center of gravity, nearly missing people and animals alike during our part of your honorable route, but didn't your mothers ever tell you that just because someone else does it doesn't mean you should do it too?
Unless it's jumping off a cliff. UPS man, you're first.

_____________________________

"Knowing is not enough;we must apply. Willing is not enough;we must do."-Johann WolfgangvonGoethe

"A successful man builds a firm foundation of the bricks that other people throw at him."

"That's very Zen of you, you must smoke pot."-George,DLM

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 44

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/14/2008 10:51:43 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Dear “Private Number”,
I want to thank you for calling just now and waking me up from my sleep. I have been working like a mad scientist on a project that has afforded me little sleep or leisure time for collarme. Now that I am awake in the middle of the night, I can spend some on CM and catch up on my email.

I do not answer private number calls in the middle of the night and just want to say FU.

Sincerely,
Kalon Eric

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 11/14/2008 10:52:03 PM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to HisNani)

Post #: 45

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 11:06:12 AM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

Dear Summa-Bitch calling from the obviously fake number,

Kiss my chocolately ass for calling and harassing me after I tell you that the person that you are looking for DOESNT LIVE HERE! You would think that the fact that I live here and know who is within these four walls would be enough and you would go away? Ohhh no. You gotta keep calling back. I love how you even ask for me by name saying that I have x number amounts of credit card debts, and car payments? Bah. I have owned one credit card and its gone now because it was stupid to have. I never used it. I got my car outright in cash, so fuck you very much. STOP HARASSING ME! That sweet lil comment I made about ripping your head off and making you apologize for bleeding on me? That wasnt a threat sugar. That was a Honest To You Know Who promise. Call again and your ass is mine.

Love,
k.

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 46

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 11:29:34 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*thinks it a good idea to not piss off the Kyttyn*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

Post #: 47

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 12:02:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

To my local grocery store and why I'm not shopping there anymore. You have for years sold a great tasting pesto but recently you switched to a brand that is entirely inedible. And to guarantee I'm stuck with it, you are no longer selling basil.

Guess what, you aren't the only store in town and you would do well to keep that in mind.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 48

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 12:10:58 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

Dear redneck neighbors, thank all of you so much for cutting my fences and on top of that it was so nice of all of you to leave my gates standing wide open,Don't worry your pretty little heads tho for two hours of rounding up cows and horses was my pleasure thank you'll so much.. were all of you borned in a barn, yes I believe you were,dear neighbors fair warning my dogs bite and so does my 12 Gage shotgun...

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 49

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 2:35:35 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*thinks it a good idea to not piss off the Kyttyn*

Shucks Greedy...I got something BETTER planned for you. Mwahahahaha.

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 50

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 2:48:15 PM

Darias

Posts: 1757
Joined: 1/17/2006
From: midlands ireland
Status: offline

Dear Dumb ass Skank Nurse

Thank you for answering the call to the medical ward and for 15 minutes trying to convince me your in charge of my fathers care only to later admit you havent a clue who he is. trust me darlin telling me you meet alot of patients every day cuts no ice with me when A my dad passes his hospital visits by flirting with anything in a skirt or in the case of the new improved nurses uniforms , anything he believes should be in a skirt and B having visited him daily im quite aware that said ward has only 20 beds and is not the major throughfare you claim it to be

My thanks also for suggesting to my father he would be out this weekend thus causing him a false sense of relief and getting decent food on sunday and frustration at having had no treatment for his gallstones other than pain relief

please note the attached scale sketch of me giving you an excelent one figured signal simular to the thumbs up taught to me by a helpfull person on the washington DC beltway

Darias

P.S. i apoligise in advance for *accidently* reporting your alleged incompetance to the ward sister and earning you double shifts over christmas

_____________________________

**Perving or perusing... it gets me the same place.**

**May Gods come between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk**

** may you live in interesting times**

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

Post #: 51

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 2:51:04 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Oh D....im sorry to hear about your dad.....
im a nurse...and in Connecticut...so i cant really help.
im sending you a cmail.

end of hijack....commence bitching.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Darias)

Post #: 52

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 3:46:43 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

*Snorts soda at the PC screen laughing*

That was great, RS.

candystripper

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 53

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 3:56:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Bounty, I'm so sorry to hear that. The animals could have been hit by cars going by. I'm glad you got them back in safely.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 54

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 4:46:54 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

thank you, whichever 4th grader you are, that gave my UM head lice. it was only my biggest fear on the whole fucking planet.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 55

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 5:00:44 PM

Sanguinarian

Posts: 474
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline

Dear Baby Brigaiders,

Thank you ever so much for using your double sized stroller that is currently holding only one child to crowd up the fucking aisle at the store while YOU stand on the other side, in the way, of course, chatting with another retarded baby brigaider. Do you people not look around you? Do you think that aisle is just for you? Meanwhile, I have to wait twenty fucking minutes to get a bag of sugar while you gossip about breast pumps and navel lint.

Granted, breast pumps can be fun, but hey, I can wait to get my five pound bag of sugar until you move your fucking strollers. I am patient, honest!.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 56

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 5:01:07 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*thinks it a good idea to not piss off the Kyttyn*

see, now you and i read that completely differently...i think it would be a great idea to piss kyttyn off...and then hand her a cane and then bend over....

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 57

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 5:06:16 PM

Darias

Posts: 1757
Joined: 1/17/2006
From: midlands ireland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanguinarian

Dear Baby Brigaiders,

Thank you ever so much for using your double sized stroller that is currently holding only one child to crowd up the fucking aisle at the store while YOU stand on the other side, in the way, of course, chatting with another retarded baby brigaider. Do you people not look around you? Do you think that aisle is just for you? Meanwhile, I have to wait twenty fucking minutes to get a bag of sugar while you gossip about breast pumps and navel lint.

Granted, breast pumps can be fun, but hey, I can wait to get my five pound bag of sugar until you move your fucking strollers. I am patient, honest!.

20 minutes??? Dang Woman!!

You realise the phrase *move your gossiping asses bitches * while not socially acceptable is a perfectly useable way of avoiding the wait after say 1.5 minutes of inane navel lint conversation

that or grab the abandoned buggy wand wander away. when she chases you say * im sorry i thought you didnt want the UM what with abandoning it at the store and all *

_____________________________

**Perving or perusing... it gets me the same place.**

**May Gods come between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk**

** may you live in interesting times**

(in reply to Sanguinarian)

Post #: 58

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 5:09:32 PM

Sanguinarian

Posts: 474
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline

Tried telling them to move, they decided to pointedly ignore me. So I made moony eyes at the baby, then opened my mouth real wide and hissed, as if I was going to eat the kid. That worked, though security followed me out....

(in reply to Darias)

Post #: 59

RE: -=VENT-A-THON (The F U thread)=- - 11/15/2008 5:45:41 PM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

Dear wonderful middle sister,

Thankyou for coming all this way to visit me in my little flat in London town. Thanks for not bringing any money at all so I have to pay for all your transport and food. Thanks so much for bitching in all the shops we go to cos you have no money. The shops you came here to go to.

Thanks a heap for dissing my flat, my job and my neighbourhood. After all this is one of the most expensive places in the country to live, with open areas parks shops and tons of families. Thanks for making me see that actually its not all that I think because people of other races live here. And big big thanks for telling me this very loudly on a bus whilst travelling through a predominately Asian area. Oh wow, I have never experienced the joy of people looking at me like that!

Thankyou for going off the handle, refusing to eat and forcing me to chuck you out. And pay £40 for your ticket home. And not paying me a penny back!

And thankyou, seriously, thanks so much for inviting yourself up to do this all over again in the week before christmas. I'm so excited! I cant wait for the hate.

_____________________________

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey

(in reply to Sanguinarian)

Post #: 60

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