RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants?

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/22/2008 9:10:19 PM

Araven

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Age is just a number... my Mistress and I are 17 years apart.. but the compatability... the chemistry, and the wonderfulness of being in her life are all there. I could not live without her in my life.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/23/2008 12:23:24 PM

YourhandMyAss

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For me I want them as a life partner, not jusat a bdsm partner, and that will probably include having kids and raising a family and having a house and plenty of material assets. So while in the past I have dated people as old as 11 years older, They'd have to not be that much older than me specially as I myself age. As it is right now I am 26 and he's about to be 36. hell when I am 30 and If I want kids he'll be almost 41. And some people feel that is to old to bebuilding a family from scratch.

(in reply to Eliana)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/29/2008 8:47:40 AM

aFineLine2tread

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I'm an older guy and have found that younger women tend to be both more physically attractive, and more flexible and open-minded. Women closer to my age tend to be better lovers, yet also tend to be more set in their ways. My last wife was 14 years younger, and lacked the sexual experience I like, on the other hand she was more open to learning the right way, as opposed to having dealt with asshole dominants that gave her entirely the wrong impressions. Some few older women I have known also have more problems with trust, which is a drag because I'm not the one who gave them the problem, but I'm the one made to deal with it....

(in reply to Eliana)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/29/2008 8:52:13 AM

angelspassion4u

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I myself look only for about 5 years older than myself. And I look for up to 10 years younger. I perfer one closer to my age but if I should find him in the up to 10 years younger or up to 5 years older then I will be happy.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/29/2008 9:02:37 PM

VAcontroldom

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When I was younger, through the age of 30, I had older submissives
In my 30s I had a much greater range, from a couple of years younger to about 10 years older
In my 40s, I have found younger women very interested in being with someone who has the combination of experience, presence, and wanting to make a mental connection. Plus that always elusive ability to listen
For me, it's always been about needing to understand how the relationship would be good for both of us. For younger women with older men, it is reasonable from a point of view of wanting to gain specific experience or who are attracted by the dynamic or who just plain click

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/29/2008 9:52:34 PM

whis31

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my Master is 13 years older then i am...i've never cared for men around my own age...even in the 'nilla world...my ex is only 5 years older then me...and he is still a big kid! i wanted a Master that understood that i am a women who has the desire to serve and please him and to appricate me for that and i find at alot of the younger ones don't...i know that there are a few out there that would...but i'm very happy with my Master being older and me...

(in reply to JustDarkness)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/30/2008 4:47:26 AM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Eliana

I've noticed one feature of the BDSM world is older Dominants often seeking submissives or slaves who are considerably younger than them (for relationships, not just play). I've also noticed - with all respect - a lot of them seem to have been looking a very long time without apparent success. This leads me to ponder - how realistic are they being?

I've observed these days that not only do a lot of the younger women clearly want men who are also younger, but in recent years a lot of the OLDER women also want - and get - men much younger than themselves. There seems to be a feeling that the younger men don't have the "old attitudes" which is to say they don't generally display the chauvinistic attitudes which tend to be more prevalent in the older generations, and that young men make them much happier.

I'm generalising here of course and not suggesting by any means there are not many very desirable older men, nor that they all have sexist outlooks, but realistically how many older men are really going to attract women half their age, except maybe for the odd few?

It would also be interesting to hear why some of them do or would prefer younger women.

Thanks!

I don't think you are generalizing very much. Most people that go to websites have fantasies of having sex or being with BDSM partners who are younger. The internet is more about fantasy than reality. In that respect, both men and women have similar fantasies.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/30/2008 4:12:40 PM

coloradopet

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i myself desire an older Mistress because, and no offence to any of our young ladies here, i just don't want to deal with the issues a 20 something has going on in her life. it's also not so much about age for me as it is experience, so a 40 year old woman with no experience isn't going to do much better with me. however, if a woman my age who has the experience and a more mature mindset were to come along, i'd give it a try.

(in reply to Eliana)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 9:01:57 AM

sandra25

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I cannot tell by experience, but I definetely prefer to be broken by someone much older than of my age. I think it is a trust issue for me?

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 9:03:26 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sandra25

I cannot tell by experience, but I definetely prefer to be broken by someone much older than of my age. I think it is a trust issue for me?

broken? yeah a trust issue...
you don't volenteer to serve?

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 9:24:39 AM

sandra25

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She breaking me into the lifestyle i mean:-))

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 9:43:26 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Eliana

I've noticed one feature of the BDSM world is older Dominants often seeking submissives or slaves who are considerably younger than them (for relationships, not just play). I've also noticed - with all respect - a lot of them seem to have been looking a very long time without apparent success. This leads me to ponder - how realistic are they being?

I've observed these days that not only do a lot of the younger women clearly want men who are also younger, but in recent years a lot of the OLDER women also want - and get - men much younger than themselves. There seems to be a feeling that the younger men don't have the "old attitudes" which is to say they don't generally display the chauvinistic attitudes which tend to be more prevalent in the older generations, and that young men make them much happier.

I'm generalising here of course and not suggesting by any means there are not many very desirable older men, nor that they all have sexist outlooks, but realistically how many older men are really going to attract women half their age, except maybe for the odd few?

It would also be interesting to hear why some of them do or would prefer younger women.

Thanks!

don't have the "old attitudes" which is to say they don't generally display the chauvinistic attitudes which tend to be more prevalent in the older generations, and that young men make them much happier.

I would like the OP to produce the statistical data to back this statement up, and if she can't, I'd caution her against trying to present personal opinion as actual fact

Older men and women go through what is called "change of life" during this time some may start to question their desirability. In their eyes, being accepted by a younger individual carries more of a validation than being acepted by one their own age.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:27:24 PM

impishlilhellcat

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I really just want someone that I'm compatible with. Sometimes that puts an age requirement on things because of the things I want from my life sometimes not. It's not something I impose it just happens how it happens.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:30:07 PM

subtlebutterfly

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This is a one year old thread.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:31:44 PM

mnottertail

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well, subtle, that rather points up the age argument, is that not so?

LOL (good eye)

Ron

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:34:00 PM

impishlilhellcat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

This is a one year old thread.

If it's still being discussed it's still being discussed. WHO CARES. If it bothers you don't read it.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:35:45 PM

subtlebutterfly

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rotf yah that's right

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:37:59 PM

subtlebutterfly

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Impish, if people are quoting the OP (like Acer) expecting an answer from them..they're not gonna get it. If my comment bothers you..don't read it.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/20/2009 12:38:03 PM

ladynlord

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quote:

I would like the OP to produce the statistical data to back this statement up, and if she can't, I'd caution her against trying to present personal opinion as actual fact

This thread is so old the OP probably died for-ever-a-go!

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 10/21/2009 7:43:11 AM

xssve

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In general, presumably older men and women are more experienced, and in some cultures, it's actually considered desirable for the older ones to "break in"the younger one.

If it's an older man and a younger women, the older man is presumably less hasty, can take his time, and isn't obsessed with sex alone - theoretically - i.e., he can mentor in other capacities, and impart the skill she need to get and hold a man, handle more aggressive men, etc.

Similarly, when it comes to older women who tend to have higher sex drives, are used to handling the more athletic aspects of sex, physically and emotionally, while younger men tend to have libidos to match, and are often sorely in need in instructions on how to act like gentlemen - - though not necessarily in the bedroom.

Again, all theoretical, I've heard younger subs complain that older doms are less sociable and considerate, while I've been told by Vanilla women that they prefer older men because they are more sociable and considerate, i.e., take them to dinner, have better stories, not as grabby, etc.

i.e., experience counts, not just in kink, or D/s, but life in general.

And, in that respect, when it comes to "old" attitudes, it really depends on the person - it's difficult to say anymore exactly what a "traditional" attitude is - consider that the average 50 something woman was a teenager at the height of the sexual revolution and might well be pretty laid back, whereas somebody who came of age in the Eighties might be more conservative, you just have to get to know the person.

I don't have that much experience with the converse, but had any older women been around to socialize me in my younger years, I doubt I would have objected, and it might have saved me some trail and error.

The caveat, and this is mentioned by Irene Claremont de Castillejo, a Jungian analyst in Knowing Woman, a book I recommend, is that these sorts of relationships by nature tend to be mentoring relationships and ultimately, most end up looking for someone closer to their own age with whom to form long term dyads.

< Message edited by xssve -- 10/21/2009 7:52:56 AM >

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