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Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? - 11/8/2008 9:54:50 PM

Eliana

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Joined: 11/3/2008
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I've noticed one feature of the BDSM world is older Dominants often seeking submissives or slaves who are considerably younger than them (for relationships, not just play). I've also noticed - with all respect - a lot of them seem to have been looking a very long time without apparent success. This leads me to ponder - how realistic are they being?

I've observed these days that not only do a lot of the younger women clearly want men who are also younger, but in recent years a lot of the OLDER women also want - and get - men much younger than themselves. There seems to be a feeling that the younger men don't have the "old attitudes" which is to say they don't generally display the chauvinistic attitudes which tend to be more prevalent in the older generations, and that young men make them much happier.

I'm generalising here of course and not suggesting by any means there are not many very desirable older men, nor that they all have sexist outlooks, but realistically how many older men are really going to attract women half their age, except maybe for the odd few?

It would also be interesting to hear why some of them do or would prefer younger women.

Thanks!

< Message edited by Eliana -- 11/8/2008 9:57:53 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:01:45 PM

moonvine

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Joined: 11/7/2004
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I'm 42 and prefer younger men, though I am currently talking to a dominant who is *gasp* 45. That's about as old as I would want to go, though.

I will be interested in seeing responses to this thread.

I'm not so sure how different this is from the vanilla world, how often do you see a man dump his wife for a newer model?

< Message edited by moonvine -- 11/8/2008 10:07:59 PM >

(in reply to Eliana)

Post #: 2

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:04:39 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
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That's right it's true. We get plenty of emails from younger guys that want mature older Mistresses. More men are beginning to respect older women and women in authority positions. Maybe because there's now more women working in higher ranking jobs so guys like the fantasy of a female boss or maybe it's because guys miss having a mother figure at home because more moms are away at work. Whatever the reason is it's great news for older Mistresses. 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40. Sometimes I worry I'm too young, but hey lots of subs like younger Mistresses too right?

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(in reply to Eliana)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:10:24 PM

BreePix

Posts: 208
Joined: 8/12/2007
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well i am 22, master is 44, and before him all of my ex boyfriends where at least 10 years older than me so yeah, i like older men

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:10:39 PM

Ultimus

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/29/2008
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I'm not an older dominant - or a young female submissive for that matter. However, in all of my profile browsing over the past few nights, I've seen a number of female submissives in the 18 to 23 year old range that were interested in older Dominants. Now, I imagine the number of older Dominants seeking those younger submissives is much larger than the number of available girls seeking that...but they do exist, as best I can tell.

Re: moonvine - Your interest in younger Doms is interesting. Although I've been approached repeatedly by older male submissives, I never really gave much thought to the idea of someone in my age range having an appeal to a female submissive past her mid-20's. It's promising to know you're out there.

(in reply to moonvine)

Post #: 5

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:20:14 PM

zakkan

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Joined: 4/15/2008
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I like older women, but not too much older. 10, 15 years is okay, But someone who is as old as my mom....

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:25:21 PM

RainydayNE

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Joined: 10/21/2008
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i dunno, there are some pretty interesting/ attractive 40+ers out there in the world
while he's not THAT much older than me, he is slightly older
though, i wouldn't make age a huge deal in figuring out who i liked
i'm more interested in mental age rather than numerical, and sometimes they aren't equal =p

(in reply to zakkan)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 10:40:40 PM

moonvine

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Joined: 11/7/2004
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Digging way back into my brain from Sociology courses in college, *if* the goal is a lifetime relationship and you would prefer not to be widowed, you should seek a man 8 years younger than yourself as statistically men die 8 years younger than women do. I think that's how my interest in younger men was validated.

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 8

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 11:26:34 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

why some of them do or would prefer younger women

I don't really know, to be honest, it has been that way with me both in the vanilla world, and in D/s. I remember how upset my last wife's father was when he realized I was older than he.

. I've not analyzed it too much, nor do I have set limits, I just go by how I feel about somebody.

There is an ample supply of younger women that are comfortable with older men - vanilla as well as D/s. Reasons that I have heard vary - the older lover/mentor dynamic comes to mind, age play, and of course those that like affluence, stability, and the easy life, not having to worry about the rent or about me falling in love with someone else. I do find that some younger women often "do" this for a limited period of time, until their mid-twenties, usually, then move on to peer group and "ordinary" relationships.

I do find I spend more time looking than I used to, but in my case that is mostly because I have gotten more picky. And it has become a real struggle, very time consuming as well, to wade through the vast masses of cyberfreaks, email collectors, and assorted wankers and nincompoops.

(in reply to Eliana)

Post #: 9

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 11:38:02 PM

NuevaVida

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I've never actually sought out older men, but always seem to end up with them. I do tend to find men who are older than me to be attractive. I tend to relate to them better for some reason. It is rare (but it's happened) for me to feel attracted to or pulled toward a man my age or younger.

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(in reply to Eliana)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/8/2008 11:56:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'd say it's not that uncommon for much older men to be with fairly younger chicks in the hetero scene.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 1:08:36 AM

babygirlkitten

Posts: 66
Joined: 10/25/2008
From: Manhattan
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I think it's fairly obvious why older men like younger women. There buddies, in most cases, would give them some serious high-fives.

In all seriousness, my current partner is 22 years older than I. I usually seek out those 5-10 years older than I, though I have dated people a few years younger than me. My current partner, well, neither of us were looking for the other, it just sort of happened that way.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 2:07:59 AM

MidMichCowboy

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Joined: 3/23/2007
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The age discussion once again. A lot of people say I'm looking for someone younger. I'm not. I'm looking for someone to fit into my life and who's life I can fit into.
A lot of ladies my age are done forever with ummms. I have imams from 8 to 22. They are a non-negotiable part of my life.
I want someone who still has a sense of curiosity and wonder about everything in the world. I don't want someone who is jaded and a total cynic. I still wake up each day with a sense of something wonderful happening. I look at nature and the world and I'm amazed. I need someone to share that with.
I want someone to explore life with, new foods, a new wine, new music and new experiences.
I want someone who still gets the joy from holding hands that I do. Someone who takes pleasures in little things.
If you are extremely materialistic, it won't work. If the rat race is what you are into, I got off that track.
I'm a liberal ... nonnegotiable. I'm accepting of people of other cultures, religions, sexual preferences, etc. I will not become intimate with someone who hasn't let go of the bigotry of the past.
So, is it age .. no. Is it compatibility with my lifestyle .. yes.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 3:58:19 AM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
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I personally prefer older women. Mistress is almost 30 years older than me, but our relationship works. I cannot stand most girls my age (and I do mean GIRLS). Many of them are either selfish, stupid, or worse, both. Neither of these traits make for a good partner for me. Now granted, there are exceptions, but in my mind, they are few and far between.

< Message edited by youngsubgeoff -- 11/9/2008 3:59:12 AM >

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 4:22:10 AM

Daes

Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline

I agree with youngsubgeoff.

Why not go for older?

I prefer older men, they tend to have a maturity or experience level that appeals to me. And the sex is way better lol Majority of guys and girls my age are idiots and I tend to have more in common with people older than me anyways.

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(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 4:24:32 AM

JustDarkness

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Joined: 7/25/2008
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I don't like them to young..and not to much older either.
There are to many differences in views and thoughts....doesn't mean they are not beautifull people ofcourse. But with somethings it didn't work out for me.

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 16

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 4:31:16 AM

Padriag

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Eliana

I'm generalising here of course and not suggesting by any means there are not many very desirable older men, nor that they all have sexist outlooks, but realistically how many older men are really going to attract women half their age, except maybe for the odd few?

It happens all the time. Some women do like older men, others don't. There are a multitude of reasons for either but it all comes down to person preference... people date who they like.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Eliana)

Post #: 17

RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 4:33:08 AM

persephonee

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Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

i need a certain level of dependability, responsibility, accountability in my man. i find this to be more prevalent in the age group in which i look. i have always been attracted to men in their late 40's to mid 50s. Its simply my personal taste. When i was in my 20's i was still looking for the same qualities that i am now as i approach 40. Men in their 40's access a certain amount of insight and a degree of understanding of how a woman works, emotionally and physically. There are always exceptions to every "rule".

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(in reply to Eliana)

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 4:38:19 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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FR

I tend to like older men generaly, i think its true that what is called maturity develops quicker than women. I think that younger women want commitment that boys of the same age dont want. I would imagine that as you get older the differance becomes far less noticable, Im 22 and since I was 18 have only been attracted to people in the late twenties and early thirties. I dont think its really gotmuch to do with Dominance just that most people I meet my age dont really want the kind of relationship than I do. But related to D/s as i lived with my family I was only really interested in someone with their own place which tends again to be someone older.

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RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Domin... - 11/9/2008 4:43:36 AM

JustDarkness

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Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

i think its true that what is called maturity develops quicker than women.

I had subs/slaves that were 10 - 15 years younger. I agree in somethings they are way ahead of males of that age. Especially in wishes..like living together..kids..marriage etc.(don't know how to explain it better)
But there will always be lack of life experience....which lets them make decissions and judgements that sometimes would lead to really shitty arguements.
Propably older subs will have the same with me as younger Dom.
But not all the people are the same. ANd when you like some one..you should spent time and discover how you connect...no matter what age. And all differences are not bad.
Til now..thoughts wise and the view on life..I come closest with females around 30.

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 11/9/2008 4:45:03 AM >

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 20

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