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subbysubsubsub -> RE: not knowing what he looks like (11/12/2008 11:33:01 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
Now I don't get this... what good is a picture from a 'security' standpoint?
Unwillingness to show a recent picture before a meet up can speak volumes about a person's level of honesty and commitment. Some of the most common lies people tell in order to get attention concern their appearance -- age, weight, height, build, etc. I would at least want to verify that they are telling the truth in that respect. If someone introduced themselves to me as "25m athletic build, tall, dark, handsome, etc, but refuses to send a recent picture before a meet up, I'm going to assume he's been lying or has something to hide. Trust is earned, not given.
After all, if you're willing to put yourself on the line and meet in person, you should not be so adamant to conceal something as basic as your appearance, especially if you know the other person is requesting for it out of precaution. It's similar to asking for references, setting up a safe call, etc. No one really wants to do it because we'd like to think we can trust others, but it's something that should be done.
Also, it's more awkward and difficult when finding out that someone's been lying to you during a face to face meet as opposed to finding out online. By then, you've given up a lot more information whether you realize it or not, like what kind of car you drive, your license plate, from what side of the city you came from, etc. It puts you in a more dangerous position, but by at least knowing what this person should look like, you're preparing yourself for who you should look for.
An unwillingness to show a recent photo can also indicate their level of commitment. There's big risk in showing your picture to a someone online, especially if you've already revealed your first name, location, occupation, etc. The fact that someone is willing to take that risk and reveal something so identifiable may be a sign that they're somewhat committed and interested in getting to you know more.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
It doesn't tell you [...] whether the picture is a dozen years old or taken last week.
You can request for the other person to take a picture while doing something you've specifically requested to ensure that it's a recent picture.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
It doesn't tell you what hir family situation is, whether xhe has the job xhe says xhe does, or whether xhe has an uncontrollable temper. It doesn't tell you if xhe drinks too much, or can manage hir money. All it gives you is a two-dimensional view of a moment in time. So maybe someone can explain to me what that limited view has to do with 'security'.
The "limited view" that pictures provide give some indication of a person's commitment and honesty which factor into security and genuineness. Obviously more information should be requested for insight into their finances, family relations, or whatever you deem important. But just because a picture can't tell you everything doesn't mean it shouldn't be asked for.
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