CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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~fast reply~
quote:
ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
Ok... I've got a problem. There is a girl who I have been talking to for a while on this site, and we've met a couple of times. I was under the impression that she wanted a serious relationship with me, and as a result, I made what I'm now seeing as a serious mistake.
I had sex with her. Now it's not what your thinking I assure you. As far as I know she's not pregnant, and I've not gotten any STDs. Actually, the problem is that she seems to be avoiding me. I may be going overboard. It may be that she's just been to busy. The problem is, this is unlikely.
Now for most men, having a girl who's willing to have sex with you all night and then not want a relationship with you later is a good thing. For me, this is terrible. I don't consider sex to be a light thing. I consider it a HUGE deal. I consider sex the equivalent of a major expression of positive emotion towards the person you're with. Usually, sex for me is a profound statement of love and devotion. Therefore, to be in such a situation makes me feel terrible, and in a way even somewhat dirty.
Now I write all of this to find out, am I the only person that is this way? For that matter, are there other Doms like me who feel this way?
~Aslanemperor
Aslan,
I think you know where you went wrong on this one -- if sex has these implications for you, then waiting until the relationship is established and you know that this is a long-term commitment is probably the direction you want to head... and the responsibility is going to be on -you-, because you're the one for whom it has that level of significance, and there's no way to guarantee that someone else, regardless of what they -say-, is going to take it as seriously as you know that you do.
As far as this girl goes, if you don't hear from her, you'll have your answer. What I -wouldn't- suggest is chasing after her -- first, if she's busy, then she may be annoyed by the pressure when she's got other things on her mind..., and if she really is no longer interested, chasing after her is not only going to be perceived as being excessively clingy and needy, but may even devolve into 'creepy'.
As far as feeling 'dirty' or 'guilty', you're an adult, and stuff happens. Live and learn and let it go. Otherwise, you run the risk of passing by opportunities to move on while you're busy beating yourself up over what's been and gone.
_____________________________
***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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