Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (Full Version)

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FloridaMistresse -> Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 5:58:28 AM)

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts?  I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.



zakkan -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:15:55 AM)

If its a good answer, why not?



MissEnchanted -> RE: men responding to Ask a Mistress (11/15/2008 6:19:51 AM)

FM,

I am so glad you brought this up. I haven't said anything about this subject over the years and I have talked with several other Dommes on CM on the phone about this.

Personally I like to see Dommes answer.
It can be time-consuming to wade through long-winded posts by male subs when you want to see what other Dommes have said on that particular subject.

If a thread asks for a Mistresses response in the headline it is obvious she is looking for other Dommes suggestions. Imo: If a male sub comes on that thread they should be respectful and very short-winded.

They might share what their own Domme did to get back on track, especially if requested by Her to post something specific and offer it up succinctly like a gift.
If they are chiming in on their own: An apology would be in order for chiming in when it said "Mistress to Mistress"

I do enjoy many of the respectful subs both female and male on the Ask a Mistress forum section. It is fun to flirt here, to get to know subs and how they interact.

However, this is the Ask a Mistress Forum and not : Ask a sub.

I have heard complaints from my Domme friends here about male subs who kind of take over on AaM threads.

I have in the past...stayed away for a while because it bothered me also. At the same time we had a rash of new people, some of which I recognized from the Gor forums bashing Dommes and male subs. I do not like to see male subs being bashed for being submissive! [:@]

I changed my screename and got a 'quiet' profile. This was one of the best things I've done. Life on CM is so peaceful now! I don't get 50 emails a day and that is just dandy!  Diane just did the same thing.

Certain male posters I skim because I am into living it, and reading long-winded philosophical posts can be a waste of My time and that's a sin. [:D]

I want to encourage communication, humor, insight, and requests from subs.

Great topic!



thishereboi -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:21:20 AM)

I don't think it is any differant than females posting in "ask a Master" or tops who post in "ask a submissive"

If they have an opintion, then they share it. What difference does it make what their orientation or gender is? If someone is male does that make his opinion matter less?



FloridaMistresse -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:21:50 AM)

Here are the posted guidelines for "Ask a Mistress"

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Mistresses are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

So, My 2 cents are this:  If the guidelines state: "that this section is open to those wishing to ask a question of a Mistress, in hopes of receiving answers from that particular perspective"  then the OP has clear expectations of those guidelines and therefore so should the posters.
 
Is this a free forum, YUP, but does that mean that men or anyone for that matter, should ignore or in my opionion disrespect the perspective of the OP or the gidelines of the room?  I personally think that speaks volumes of the person that ignores them. What other perspecitves does they  ignore in their life?  Just food for thought.



SunNMoon -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:23:33 AM)

I like the fact that anyone can post anywhere they like on here. I also like the fact that it gives a greater  insight into different people’s relationships, and their self understanding. And I hope that it doesn’t change.



SunNMoon -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:28:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

Here are the posted gidelines for "Ask a Mistress"

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Mistresses are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

So, My 2 cents are this:  If the guidelines state: "that this section is open to those wishing to ask a question of a Mistress, in hopes of receiving answers from that particular perspective"  then the OP has clear expectations of those guidelines and therefore so should the posters.
 
Is this a free forum, YUP, but does that mean that men or anyone for that matter, should ignore or in my opionion disrespect the perspective of the OP or the gidelines of the room?  I personally think that speaks volumes of the person that ignores them. What other perspecitves does they  ignore in their life?  Just food for thought.


You do understand that “those wishing to as ask a question” can be read as a gender neutral, right? And it has been stated by the mods before that anyone can post any where they like as long as they are respectful.

Then I could go on to say why doesn’t a submissive or someone which happens to have an “outie” take on a situation less valid?



MsStarlett -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:34:25 AM)

It's a free and open forum whose purpose is to explore, educated and socialize with people who share a similar interest.   FemDoms and malesubs interact in a manner uniquely different from what 'normal' society dictates.  I personally enjoy the view from the opposite corner.  One cannot have an insightful debate without two opposing opinions. 

Personally, I have tried to read and participate in the "Ask a Sub" section but find most of what they discuss to be irrelevant to my relationships as they tend to be mostly female subs talking about their Male Doms.  While many aspects of the D/s relationships are the same regardless of the genders involved, many are not.  Perhaps the male subs who prefer to participate in this section also find it easier to communicate with the people here than there because they also find these topics of conversation more closely aligned with their experiances.



chiaThePet -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:51:48 AM)

 
From what I understand here at the lovely collarme hive,

some of the Mistresses are male.

"My, what big feet you have!"

little red riding sub* (the pet)



thetammyjo -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:54:46 AM)

I guess I see the "Ask a Mistress" title as more a sign this is a forum for female dominant relationships.

By the way, not all submissives who want or have a female dom are male.



thetammyjo -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:58:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

Here are the posted guidelines for "Ask a Mistress"

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Mistresses are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

So, My 2 cents are this:  If the guidelines state: "that this section is open to those wishing to ask a question of a Mistress, in hopes of receiving answers from that particular perspective"  then the OP has clear expectations of those guidelines and therefore so should the posters.
 
Is this a free forum, YUP, but does that mean that men or anyone for that matter, should ignore or in my opionion disrespect the perspective of the OP or the gidelines of the room?  I personally think that speaks volumes of the person that ignores them. What other perspecitves does they  ignore in their life?  Just food for thought.


If the forum is to be this limited, then it would be the job of the moderators to enforce those limits.

You are free to point out the definition the appropriate moderators and ask them to intervene but my guess it that the definition is more strict than the intent of Collarme.com.

I mean, is the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum only for slaves/subs or can bottoms go there? Should Switches post or tops/doms?



MsStarlett -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:01:09 AM)

**Deleted bitchy comment**



FloridaMistresse -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:08:10 AM)

this is the one that really hit home for Me.  don't think it is any differant than females posting in "ask a Master" or tops who post in "ask a submissive" by Thishereboi

 
Since I am obviosuly new "vanilla status" to these message boards, I thought (obviously wrongly) that when you chose a given heading like "Ask a Mistress" it indicated to the general population that that is exactly what you were seeking the PV from a Mistress.  However, that does not seem to be the case.  Basically not sure why there are even categories if they are to be ignored. Why not just one big Topic? Ask anyone anything at all. LOL

However, as was pointed out, all persuasions go into all posts and give thier opinion, so whoa be it from Me to change the practices here.

My opinion, however, remains the same. I think if a Board has a heading then those responding should respect that, albeit whatever the heading is.

So, I might read a post by a submissive, and I might even respond, but I would  not do it on the board. I would do it off boards to respect the room, and if that submissive said thank you but no thank you I was only seeking a submissives view, then I totally think that is their perogative. 



Lashra -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:08:42 AM)

Sure why not? If they have a good answer that is respectful. I post over in the Ask a Master section all the time. Sometimes it is good to get the opposite genders viewpoint.

~Lashra



thishereboi -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:13:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

this is the one that really hit home for Me.  don't think it is any differant than females posting in "ask a Master" or tops who post in "ask a submissive" by Thishereboi

 
Since I am obviosuly new "vanilla status" to these message boards, I thought (obviously wrongly) that when you chose a given heading like "Ask a Mistress" it indicated to the general population that that is exactly what you were seeking the PV from a Mistress.  However, that does not seem to be the case.  Basically not sure why there are even categories if they are to be ignored. Why not just one big Topic? Ask anyone anything at all. LOL
Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

However, as was pointed out, all persuasions go into all posts and give thier opinion, so whoa be it from Me to change the practices here.
well you can complain about it, but I doubt you will be able to change it.

My opinion, however, remains the same. I think if a Board has a heading then those responding should respect that, albeit whatever the heading is.
Everyone on CM has a right to their opinion, that's what makes this such a special place.

So, I might read a post by a submissive, and I might even respond, but I would  not do it on the board. I would do it off boards to respect the room, and if that submissive said thank you but no thank you I was only seeking a submissives view, then I totally think that is their perogative. 
You can go on the ask a sub board, you can even post your opinions. I should warn you however, that the topics on ask a Mistress are usually more entertaining.




DiurnalVampire -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:21:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts?  I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.



I believe that anyone who wishes to answer should be free to. Just becasue I am a mistress does not mean I will have the best answer for a question. Some submissive males or females may have had experience with the situation and be better qualified to answer, even if they arent mistresses becasue thye learned from one.  There will be Males that have good insite as well. And Females who do not consider themselves Mistresses, but Masters (MasterFireMaam comes to mind).
I for one would rather anyone whith advice that is useful be able and willing to answer in any forum it is asked in. I might not be a submissive but I have owned enough and been friends with enough that I can answer usefully there and I do. I have gotten some fantastic answers ot problems from Masters, Mistresses and submissives alike whe I posted. I would hate to see someone close the forums down so strictly, and necessitate multiple postings of the same questions to get adequate opinions of every group on some things.

Just my opinion, being of the Mistress pursuasion, I am quite happy with the way things are. If someone doesnt want answers from others, they should take it upon themselves to read selectively rather than limit everyone ese from answering so that those of us who enjoy and appreciate the "others" in our forums can continue to have them.

DV




beargonewild -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:23:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

Here are the posted guidelines for "Ask a Mistress"

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Mistresses are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

So, My 2 cents are this:  If the guidelines state: "that this section is open to those wishing to ask a question of a Mistress, in hopes of receiving answers from that particular perspective"  then the OP has clear expectations of those guidelines and therefore so should the posters.
 
Is this a free forum, YUP, but does that mean that men or anyone for that matter, should ignore or in my opionion disrespect the perspective of the OP or the gidelines of the room?  I personally think that speaks volumes of the person that ignores them. What other perspecitves does they  ignore in their life?  Just food for thought.


According to the guidelines, that also includes men who post a question wanting a POV from a Mistress. Thus he is seeking another POV which falls within the guidelines of your quote. If many feel that males should stay away from posting in "Ask A Mistress" then maybe all Mistresses could refrain from posting in "Ask A Master"

Ahhhhhh.....segregation at it's finest....gotta luv it. (shakes head in disgust)

edited to add: if a person doesn't want to read a male written post.....simply scroll past. It's so easy and obviously you can tell by the user name and/or pic if the person's one or the other




MissEnchanted -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:24:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


From what I understand here at the lovely collarme hive,

some of the Mistresses are male.

"My, what big feet you have!"

little red riding sub* (the pet)

Chia! hahahaha

[sm=goodpost.gif]



stella41b -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:32:44 AM)

With respect I feel the only prerogative to posting and taking part in discussions on these boards is an open mind.



MissEnchanted -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 7:38:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

Here are the posted guidelines for "Ask a Mistress"

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Mistresses are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

So, My 2 cents are this:  If the guidelines state: "that this section is open to those wishing to ask a question of a Mistress, in hopes of receiving answers from that particular perspective"  then the OP has clear expectations of those guidelines and therefore so should the posters.
 
Is this a free forum, YUP, but does that mean that men or anyone for that matter, should ignore or in my opionion disrespect the perspective of the OP or the gidelines of the room?  I personally think that speaks volumes of the person that ignores them. What other perspecitves does they  ignore in their life?  Just food for thought.


According to the guidelines, that also includes men who post a question wanting a POV from a Mistress. Thus he is seeking another POV which falls within the guidelines of your quote. If many feel that males should stay away from posting in "Ask A Mistress" then maybe all Mistresses could refrain from posting in "Ask A Master"

Ahhhhhh.....segregation at it's finest....gotta luv it. (shakes head in disgust)

edited to add: if a person doesn't want to read a male written post.....simply scroll past. It's so easy and obviously you can tell by the user name and/or pic if the person's one or the other



This was not the point.

In the thread headline the OP specifically asked "From Mistress to Mistress"
The OP even reiterated it later on after a male sub gave his opinions in a couple of posts.
He did not ask a question, but chimed in with his opinions as a sub.

The name of this forum is Ask, (not tell) a Mistress.

Is someone starts a thread and makes it clear who they are asking, or sets a boundary...I think it is polite to respect the OPs request!

For instance: If I was on 'Ask a Master' thread and the headline said: 'Master to Master' and I wanted to chime in: I would  kindly ask if my opinion would be welcomed or not. This is out of respect of the OP Master who set the guidelines for that thread. If the OP responded 'No' I would not give my opinion on that thread and apologize if I had butted in.

This is not a big deal...but I see it going waaay off the train track here.

It is not 'segregation' it is simply the request of the OP for that thread.

ps: Asking is different than 'telling'.




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