RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (Full Version)

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FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 1:48:28 PM)

I think the OP's already got my "yes absolutely" submissive men should be posting here, as many as are out there and want to express themselves on here, from another thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
With respect I feel the only prerogative to posting and taking part in discussions on these boards is an open mind.
Not even that sometimes, lol...   M



littlesarbonn -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 2:55:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts?  I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.



It's an open forum. The Ask A Mistress section mainly gives people a lighthouse to realize that the posts are going to be about Mistress/slave behavior. If it was just left to dominant women only, this board would dry up in about a week.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 3:05:45 PM)

I agree sarbonn, it would be a truly boring place!!
 
Jewel



RedMagic1 -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 3:46:05 PM)

Wouldn't it be a nightmare if people needed a particular type of profile to post somewhere?  That would be a 24/7/365 "hunt-the-fake" game.  "A *real* dominant woman would never have said *that*!!!"  Or, one I've heard both in real life, and seen here, "You must not be a real lesbian, because you said X positive thing about men."

Now, do you know my gender before clicking on my profile?  And... do you know my gender after clicking on it?



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 3:55:51 PM)

People are free to post in whatever forum they choose. We've had some really very good contributions from people of all races, sexes and orientations on each forum.

Master Fire



LadyPact -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:27:07 PM)

I haven't read all of the responses.  I'm a bit tired.

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I post a question into a forum, as long as someone has a logical, experiences opinion is more than well received in reply.  I don't care if someone is of a different gender, orientation, or any other criteria.   

I think it would be absolutely foolish to disregard someone because their opinion didn't exactly come from the sample group one would hope for.  Who knows?  Perhaps listening to a sub might bring the exact insight that a person needs.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:30:10 PM)

Since it's a public forum, they ARE being asked.  Everyone is being asked.  If posters don't want answers from any user who happens to notice their thread, they shouldn't post in a public forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?



thishereboi -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:38:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

(I wouldn't for example want advice on period pain from guys, let's face it, it is something only women experience)
 
You might want to rephrase that, Lady C.  I and every man I know who's ever had a female partner has experienced only too much pain as a result of said partners' periods.




Be thankful your not a lesbian, we have to deal with 2 periods a month.



ShaktiSama -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 6:59:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?


Depends on the man.  Sometimes the Ask a Mistress forum hosts discussions  that are of interest to anyone in BDSM, regardless of their orientation.  Sometimes men have important insights, especially submissive men who seek or are immersed in D/S relationships with dominant women.

I am not particularly thrilled with men who come here to demean women or to fight with women, of course.  But bad eggs are usually pretty easy to spot, regardless of orientation.  Overall I'd say that men contribute far, far more of value to this forum than they ever detract from it.



ineedotk -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 8:02:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts?  I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.





I've always assumed that the title of any forum is pretty much self explanitory.  And in the case of asking somebody something, for example, "Ask a Mistress", the asking  would be initially done by the one starting the thread.  So the one who writes the thread is asking a Mistress, any Mistress, a question.  And forums are generally open to anybody to answer what is asked.  And frequently, the comments that follow a question are simply responses NOT to the inital question, but responses to other people's responses.  And all of that is good and acceptable, as long as respect for others is maintained.



beargonewild -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 9:05:19 PM)

~FR~

I often give people the benefit of the doubt and regarding this topic it's no different. Most submissive males probably offer their opinions when the topic resonates with them at some level. Granted we aren't able to relate to everything a Mistress posts here and these are the threads which we (general) don't post on. As a related question for the Op and others, how would the OP apply to a person who is transitioning from M2F or F2M? Since at some point they are a combination of both genders, (my apologies for not using the proper and correct terms) until they have completed the transition from one to the other?



stella41b -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/15/2008 10:46:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

~FR~

I often give people the benefit of the doubt and regarding this topic it's no different. Most submissive males probably offer their opinions when the topic resonates with them at some level. Granted we aren't able to relate to everything a Mistress posts here and these are the threads which we (general) don't post on. As a related question for the Op and others, how would the OP apply to a person who is transitioning from M2F or F2M? Since at some point they are a combination of both genders, (my apologies for not using the proper and correct terms) until they have completed the transition from one to the other?



Exactly. Bear, you're my friend for life. Thank you for speaking up and making such a point.



Usako -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 1:42:33 AM)

I've seen the "female only" or "female ruled" forums like the one on femdommesociety and the "mistress only" groups on fetlife and to be perfectly honest...they're boring as hell! I'm glad that the forums on CM are so open, it makes life more interesting.

And personally, I find the Ask a Mistress and the General BDSM forums to be the most amusing, but then again I'm attracted to the lulz. Though the discussions on those two forums are usually better to read as well, amusement aside.



VeryCurious07 -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 2:18:12 AM)

Funny, my knee-jerk reaction, as a man, of course, is to say YES, men have the right to respond in any thread they see fit. However, in thinking about it, I believe it is a little more complex than some wide-sweeping gut level reaction. In my opinion, there is both a positive and negative side to men responding, particularly men like me who are not involved in the community and are here out of curiosity. The positive side is obviously that this is a public forum, and, in a very real sense, questions are asked of everyone, since they are posted in a forum that does not limit responders by lifestyle or gender. On the other side, I think that an argument can be made that the forum is "Ask a Mistress" and not "Ask Anyone Who Feels Like Answering".

Given that this is a forum where people are meant to make inquiries as to the opinions and ideas of Mistresses, and since it is also a public forum, then it is my opinion that we men here should ONLY answer a question if we have something intelligent and potentially useful to add. I do NOT believe, for instance, that someone who is here to troll the forum, instigate a fight, or try to win converts AWAY from female dominance should post. I also think that it is vital that we men remember that while we may, in fact, have something intellignt and articulate to add to the various discussions, that most people here are soliciting the responses of female Dommes, not of us. So while offering our opinions, perhaps we should not expect to be taken as seriously as a woman answering, since the questions were not directed at us. 



MissIsis -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 2:44:18 AM)

I generally, welcome anyone's opinion.  To me, that is what makes these forums fun, & sometimes, an informative source of knowledge. 

It took me forever to get that there were categories to the message boards when I first came online.  I would see  a post flash over my home page.  It would resonate with me in some way, & I would just answer it.  There was nothing about categories when they flash little blurbs on a thread on my screen.  I wanted to get to the meat of the posting.  At first, I didn't even notice there were differing categories. Later, when I started posting, I would get that someone was moving my thread to a more appropriate forum.  I used to scratch my head wondering why.  Eventually, I got it.  And eventually, I got that some people were more comfortable with rules & little boxes with which to participate in life.  I think we just have differing opinions as to who should be allowed in what little box. 

Personally, I prefer global participation, but that is just me, & not a right or wrong opinion.  Generally, though, if someone wants an opinion of only the people who fit in the little box, it is easy to make it clear, that they would like only those people to respond.  If someone chooses to ignore that request, it is easy enough to just pass over the post, something I prefer over any form of censorship, which could harm the discussion & sharing of knowledge.



TexasMaam -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 3:28:32 AM)

I have wanted the 'ask a submissive' page to be broken down into 'ask a subfem' and 'ask a submale' pages here at CM.

In the absence of a specific 'ask a submale' page, I prefer that they post here rather than have to scroll through the male top/femsub topics.

TexasMaam



iwearpanties -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 4:07:56 AM)

as a male sub i read many of the posts here on aska Mistress i may not responde to each and every thread but it is very intresting too me as a male sub too see whats asked  and how and who and the type of responces some are very well thoguth out some seem toobe just talk/ chatting . but i will tell you all this i once many moons ago tried too aska question  on the ask  a Master posts  i was seeking a honest answer and i was sent  threating message for some on he that sated they where a monoitor or the threads  not only was i told i was trolling i my post was never posted and if it was it was pulled off quick  that made me stop comeing too coller me for some time . But if the sub male isnt or should post or ask quetsuion  or responde to any thread  would you all even want us around ? or would this site have as many persons posting on it?



FloridaMistresse -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 5:29:53 AM)

Defintely some great opinions and insights. I have gained a better understanding of how those on CM think. My personal favorite was not even an answer but a signature.  "Silence I will KEEL you"  just cracked Me up, and I thought it was the most perfect answer of them all. 
What it said to Me was this: Should those on a public board be silenced? Do I personally have the right to silence them? Should I have the right to silence them?  Even I would have to say No to these questions.

Do I feel the same, yes I guess I do. I still think there is value in boards that have topics or ask from a certain population.

I specifically ask "To a Mistress from a Mistress" in My original post for personal reasons. I was looking for My own personal introspection,  and wanted and needed a Female Dominant POV.  I felt they would understand My journey and needs and POV better than a male or a submissives.  You see no matter how egalitarian we may aspire to be, there is and are benefits from gleaning insight from your peers. Sometimes that puts and makes labels.  Sometimes labels are ok.  Let Me give you an example. I would not post My profile on Match.cum  (typo intentional) Why? Simple, that community would not understand My construct relationship or social. They would think I had issues to say the least!  LOL 

So, it is My POV that sometimes there are benefits from just hearing or even wanting a certain POV.  Should that be respected on CM? My Guess is that really  is the bigger question. The answer as I see it from many of these posts is:  That doing so "silences others"   those that were not invited to the party so to speak.

Conclusion:  I have had an ethnocentric POV, knowing who you are is quite valuable, it has taken Me many years to be very OK with My labels:  High Femme, Lesbian, Dominant, Old School, Extreme, Kinky,loving, safe, sane, open minded <smiles>
However, knowing who you are, should never limit your ability to grow.  So, with that in mind. I have read all of the posts, even from men! LOL Did I learn anything from the male posts, no, but could I have? Yes,  but only if I indeed read them......... so I did, and will contiue to. Do I think that when someone asks specifically for a POV from "A Mistress" that should be respected? Yes, I do. However, Silence is not always golden, and I believe that W/we all can benefit from an open mind............................




beeble -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 6:16:38 AM)

quote:

LadyHibiscus wrote:
I see where you're coming from, BoiJen, but she asked if men should be allowed on the whole FORUM, not just her thread.

I don't think you meant it that way but it's worth emphasizing that it is not `her thread'; it is just the thread that she started.  If it were `her thread', she would be perfectly entitled (though, in my opinion, misguided) to restrict posting to dominant women.

beeble



beeble -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/16/2008 7:06:56 AM)

quote:

MzMia wrote:
There are people that really might prefer certain questions answered by only Mistresses on the "Ask A Mistress" boards!  I know, I know I am radical!
[...]
**Again for those that love to twist words on here, I did not say only Mistresses should
be able to answer questions here, I said IF the poster asks specifically for answers from a Mistress, I don't see it as a big deal OR a "bad thing"!**

The discussions here are of interest to all their participants and readers, not just the original poster.  Most of the people here respect the well-thought-out opinions of all, regardless of sex or orientation and it is selfish of anyone to try to force their disrespect of the opinions of people of certain sexes or orientations on the whole group.

I personally can't think of a single question that could be asked here or anywhere else to which no sub could meaningfully respond.  In fact, I can't even think of any to which no sub male could meaningfully respond.  Even questions about period pain.  In many cases, the sub's input might only be reporting the experiences of the dominants he or she knows but I don't see that that's any less valid, especially if it brings a new perspective.  In cases where the subject under discussion was the dominant's first-hand experiences (for example, `When did you first realise you were dominant?') I'd hang back for a while and let the discussion run for a bit because I have never realised that I'm dominant and other people's first-hand experiences of that are more likely to be interesting to the group as a whole than my second-hand experiences.  However, if I knew a woman who realised she was dominant through some experience that seemed interesting or unusual, and which hadn't been mentioned, I'd chime in with it after a while.

But on many topics, the sub's viewpoint is equally valid and relevant.  This is especially true of the thread that sparked this discussion which was asking for suggestions of how to restore and emphasize a D/s dynamic in a long-term relationship.  Any such relationship involves a submissive, who can just as well speak to answer the question from their own experience as can a dominant.

beeble



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