RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress?

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (Full Version)

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sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 5:14:55 AM)
quote: 7) There are boards that are named "Ask a submissives" ( notice I did not post the question on that board, think perhaps I had My reasons for that?) and what's wrong posting in Ask Submissives section? we get dominants - male and female - posting and replying to threads. however unlike you, we don't exclude anyone's thoughtful response no matter their role in the relationship.

beeble -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 5:48:06 AM)
quote: FloridaMistresse wrote: What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " No. If you want to use this analogy, use it correctly. Requesting that no men post to the thread you started is not equivalent to saying, `I am a lesbian so I don't want to have sex with men.' It is equivalent to saying, `You must all be lesbians and none of you may have sex with men.' Who you have sex with is entirely your choice. It is a choice I respect and which I would never try to influence. However, your refusal to even consider thant men might be able to offer an insight is closed-minded, sexist and sad. That you should try to force this closed-mindedness on everybody else in this forum by seeking to suppress the contribution of men here is repugnant. That you should try to paint people's objections to this as men repressing you and disrespecting your sexuality is disgusting hypocrisy. Fuck you. beeble.

FloridaMistresse -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 6:28:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beeble quote: FloridaMistresse wrote: What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " No. If you want to use this analogy, use it correctly. Requesting that no men post to the thread you started is not equivalent to saying, `I am a lesbian so I don't want to have sex with men.' It is equivalent to saying, `You must all be lesbians and none of you may have sex with men.' Who you have sex with is entirely your choice. It is a choice I respect and which I would never try to influence. However, your refusal to even consider thant men might be able to offer an insight is closed-minded, sexist and sad. That you should try to force this closed-mindedness on everybody else in this forum by seeking to suppress the contribution of men here is repugnant. That you should try to paint people's objections to this as men repressing you and disrespecting your sexuality is disgusting hypocrisy. Fuck you. beeble. I see you have resorted to the male level of respect that I have so grown to expect. AND you wonder why I do not seek your POV. Shocking!

RedMagic1 -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 6:36:40 AM)
Perhaps you "expect" it because you see it frequently... and perhaps you see it frequently because you inspire it in others. I always look a bit askance, for example, if someone talks about how many fakes and liars there are online. 99.999% of my contacts have been extremely positive. I attribute it to the fact that I always try to build people up, I take them at their word, and I am honest and direct. It encourages people to be real and truthful with me -- or to move on if they are not able to keep up. If all the men in your life are a certain way, well, there's exactly one thing they share in common.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 6:41:20 AM)
But you did it in a public forum, and you can't control who responds to you in a public forum. Sometimes you seem to accept this, and other times you seem to wish that it weren't so. quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse The crux was this, a Mistress asked for other Mistresses feedback and men jumped all over it. Period.

beeble -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 6:46:01 AM)
quote: FloridaMistresse wrote: I see you have resorted to the male level of respect that I have so grown to expect. I have zero respect for you because of the things you say, the attitudes you hold and the way you try to project those same attitudes onto anyone who disagrees with you. The fact that I am a man and you are a woman is entirely irrelevant to my views on the matter. beeble.

beargonewild -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 7:12:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse My reply is simply this: I have responded to this already. I stated: I respectfully asked for "A Mistresses" reponse. If you identify as a Mistress then respond. I did not say what type of spirit you needed to be. If you are by some chance a male submissive that identifies as a Mistress ( which apprently there are several on here) then respond. It was a simply request, that was and I quote "denied" Do I own this board, NOPE. Do I claim to NOPE. Did I think the request was simple and innocent enough. YUP. Did I intend or think it would create the malestrom it did. Hell NO! LOL No matter how enlightened the male just does not know what it is like to walk in the females shoes. and vice versa. This of course excluded MTF, FTM I am not going to get into that as it is a whole other issue. Just as I do not know what its like to be a man, or a drug addict, or black. I would never even hesitate a guess as to what its like to be discriminated against just from the color of My skin. So, do men not know what it is like to be a Mistress. They think they can relate or have a "good" response to Our issues, however, they do not really know what W/we face. Nor do I know what it is like to be a male submissive. It would just be speculation on My part. What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " Just as I do not have to justify why I do not want sex from a man, I see no need to justify why I did not ask for "advice or insight" from a man. It's funny to Me that they(men) all felt like they had something valuable to lend. Did any of them ask? NOPE. They just made the decision for themselves. Then it became about freedom, and bias, and property of CM etc etc etc. The crux was this, a Mistress asked for other Mistresses feedback and men jumped all over it. Period. Is that right or wrong? Y/you all have made your personal decisions. Even as I see your POV yet it also appears that many valid arguments are still being misinterpreted. I have also seen that most men who were giving their opinion on this thread were being civilized and rational in their reasoning yet it seems it wasn't good enough and I did feel that us who are rational and logical were being lumped along with the ones who you have a legetimate beef against. So without futher adieu, I walk away from this debate: saddened by the fact that no matter how hard I try to be fair and to understand another's POV, my own means nothing. Be well FloridaMistresse may you recieve all that you richly deserve.

ModeratorEleven -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 7:26:45 AM)
Ok, I think this has gone on long enough. We don't restrict who can post in our forums because that impedes the transfer of information. If someone replies to a thread and you're not interested in their input, skip over it. It's hardly worthy of a tantrum. XI

LadyConstanze -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 7:28:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Perhaps you "expect" it because you see it frequently... and perhaps you see it frequently because you inspire it in others. I always look a bit askance, for example, if someone talks about how many fakes and liars there are online. 99.999% of my contacts have been extremely positive. I attribute it to the fact that I always try to build people up, I take them at their word, and I am honest and direct. It encourages people to be real and truthful with me -- or to move on if they are not able to keep up. If all the men in your life are a certain way, well, there's exactly one thing they share in common. A lot of the contacts on here have been positive, however there were also a lot of contacts with "agendas" or obviously not who they pretended to be, a classical example is when somebody thinks this is the "need kinky lay quick" website, can't take NO for an answer, you block the guy and then you get an enraged letter from another profile "How dare you blocking me, you stupid cow, bet you are a fake and you are ugly, blah blah...", and wow, all of a sudden he/she/it turned into a female sub or switch....

undergroundsea -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 7:51:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse OP was in fact specifically addressed to Mistresses ( gender specificty was not included so I think you can put the reigns on that vien my dear) It is unclear what point you wish to convey with this statement. Also, this statement does not address the point that in this forum it is not uncommon for a question to be addressed to a domme but for responses to come from a variety of roles if someone has a thought to add to the conversation. quote: I was not the person that bought up on the board that I only sought a FemDom POV, it was first mentioned by another. It is unclear what point you wish to convey with this statement. Are you disowning your objection to contribution from men and saying it was someone else who raised it? Or are you seeking to justify your objection by saying it was someone else who first raised it? Are you instead able to justify your objection with any reasoning that will help others understand the merits of your position? quote: Many have written Me off the board and thanked Me for bringing up males responding on this board, that is beleaguers them to say the least. It is not clear what point you wish to convey with this statement. Are you saying that because many have written you to thank you via private emails, it trumps the public posts by many more that state otherwise? You have not clarified why you think it is good to exclude comments by other demographics, nor have you provided your rationale to any of those who think diversity in participation is good as long as it is constructive participation. Also, I am curious how many is many? quote: I did not name the board. You did not name the board but you have used the name of the board as defense for your position and not explained why your interpretation is better than interpretting the board as a femdom community. quote: There are boards that are named "Ask a submissives" ( notice I did not post the question on that board, think perhaps I had My reasons for that?) Personally, if I had a question about how a domme was feeling or behaving, I would be equally interested, if not more, in hearing insights from those who wear the same or similar shoes. Also, it is not clear what point you wish to convey with this statement. If you specify to whom you are responding or otherwise provide a context for your thoughts, I think your intended meaning would become more clear. quote: Am I not entitled to elicit whatever POV I so choose? <snip> Is it appropriate to malign Me or redirect Me, or whatever verb you so choose, for having the desire to seek a POV from a certain group? In this case Mistresses. <snip> However in My OP "From a Mistress to a Mistress" it was not disrespectful or unreasonable to hope that only Mistresses reply. You are entitled to this choice. While I disagree intellectually with your choice to seek input from dommes only for understanding and modifying the behavior of a sub, I see it as your choice. It is not your choice but how you went about presenting it that has left me unimpressed. quote: An s-type responded off the board to Me and was very respectful, insightful and well received by Me. Imagine that!! Shocking!!! It is not clear what point you wish to convey with this statement. Are you saying s-types are generally rude and you are surprised by the note you received? Or are you saying that because an s-type wrote you such a note, it validates your position? Cheers, Sea

undergroundsea -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 8:23:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse I respectfully asked for "A Mistresses" reponse. Your first post was polite. However, with the norms of this forum, it was not clear to some of us, at least to me, that it was critical to you that only women respond. Your second instance of this request--when you clarified that you wish for only women to respond--did not feel respectful to me. Here is an example of what might have constituted a respectful response: Guys, I appreciate your interest in this thread but I am seeking responses from dommes only. I hope you can respect that choice. I invite you to reread what you wrote in that thread after men had responded to your thread with helpful intent. So, before pointing to PeonForHer's (at whom you also directed the negative energy after he contributed to your discussion with good intentions) use of denied, why not look at your conduct first? quote: No matter how enlightened the male just does not know what it is like to walk in the females shoes. and vice versa. While I believe that dommes can offer insights about behavior of subs, your logic confuses me because you seek advice from dommes about the behavior of a sub. Per your logic your question should have been addressed to female subs. quote: What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " I sense you have had bad experiences with men which you carry with you, and which affect how you perceive and respond to other men. This response, to the extent it is a generalized negative response, may in turn influence the response you create in these other men. I think the equivalence you suggest between posting to your thread on a message board and a man pressuring a lesbian to have sex with him is without basis. You speak of men's disrespect but conveniently avoid points that question your behavior that is disrespectful to men and which is bringing about the frustration you are seeing in men in this forum who are responding to you. It's as if you spit on someone and when they should indignation you say, well gosh you are so rude and disrespectful. You have indeed suggested that men cannot offer any useful insight. You have indeed suggested that this forum should not have participation from men. You have indeed responded to criticism of your position by labeling it as repression, or an attempt to have sex with you or what not. If my statements above are incorrect, would you clarify how they are incorrect? Cheers, Sea

thishereboi -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 8:23:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " While I had certainly seen that attitude, I haven't sensed that from this thread. More of anyones opinion can be valuable, whether they are Domme or sub or top or bottom.

stella41b -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 8:26:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse My reply is simply this: I have responded to this already. I stated: I respectfully asked for "A Mistresses" reponse. If you identify as a Mistress then respond. I did not say what type of spirit you needed to be. If you are by some chance a male submissive that identifies as a Mistress ( which apprently there are several on here) then respond. It was a simply request, that was and I quote "denied" Do I own this board, NOPE. Do I claim to NOPE. Did I think the request was simple and innocent enough. YUP. Did I intend or think it would create the malestrom it did. Hell NO! LOL No matter how enlightened the male just does not know what it is like to walk in the females shoes. and vice versa. This of course excluded MTF, FTM I am not going to get into that as it is a whole other issue. Just as I do not know what its like to be a man, or a drug addict, or black. I would never even hesitate a guess as to what its like to be discriminated against just from the color of My skin. So, do men not know what it is like to be a Mistress. They think they can relate or have a "good" response to Our issues, however, they do not really know what W/we face. Nor do I know what it is like to be a male submissive. It would just be speculation on My part. What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " Just as I do not have to justify why I do not want sex from a man, I see no need to justify why I did not ask for "advice or insight" from a man. It's funny to Me that they(men) all felt like they had something valuable to lend. Did any of them ask? NOPE. They just made the decision for themselves. Then it became about freedom, and bias, and property of CM etc etc etc. The crux was this, a Mistress asked for other Mistresses feedback and men jumped all over it. Period. Is that right or wrong? Y/you all have made your personal decisions. Thank you for that. I will bear this in mind this coming Thursday when on behalf of the sLGBT group I'm running I make another speech to wider society advocating support, cooperation and mutual respect between people irrespective of their gender and sexual orientation. FloridaMistresse you may wish to feel persecuted and that is your own personal wish which is to be respected, and you may wish to divide and exclude, and this is also your own personal wish to be respected, but the boards of these forums is not the appropriate environment for such divisions and there are many lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered who are sick and tired of being persecuted and excluded. The question you actually posed in your original thread was about D/s in a relationship which was becoming vanilla, which to me had nothing to do with being a woman, nothing to do with being a lesbian, and everything to do with being either a dominant or a submissive. However in choosing to exclude male POVs you chose to also make it an issue about gender. Then you write: What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " Now FloridaMistresse I get this too - that same unwanted sexual attention from men - furthermore in the course of my work I have been sexually assaulted twice by men, however unlike you it seems I do not allow this to colour my perception of other men or of every other man I come across whether it be online or real time. And here I know I speak for many lesbian women including those among the people who voted me in and elected me to run this sLGBT focus group I am running and to represent the LGBT community here in West London. Therefore I do understand and sympathize with your issues concerning men, but I in no way support either your crusade against men nor your wish to bring division and exclusion to these boards. If people are inclusive towards you why can't you be inclusive back? Why all the drama over what appears to be such a trivial point anyway?

Madame4a -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 8:26:48 AM)
Since when are all Mistresses female? personally, I prefer a much more diverse world... quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress? Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male" Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked? Thoughts? I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.

Madame4a -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 8:48:09 AM)
ARGh! I should have read this whole thread first... I actually started to think at one point, because I share several of your labels, that I might find a post or point that I agreed with... personally, after reading all your posts... I'm finding a very closed mind and a chip on your shoulder.. you're very defensive and it comes through -- I also wonder, as I believe RedMagic said -- if you don't inspire some of the treatment you perceive you get -- and 'many' other gay women... funnily enough, by the way, I don't get it.. and I prefer dyke... good luck... quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse My reply is simply this: I have responded to this already. I stated: I respectfully asked for "A Mistresses" reponse. If you identify as a Mistress then respond. I did not say what type of spirit you needed to be. If you are by some chance a male submissive that identifies as a Mistress ( which apprently there are several on here) then respond. It was a simply request, that was and I quote "denied" Do I own this board, NOPE. Do I claim to NOPE. Did I think the request was simple and innocent enough. YUP. Did I intend or think it would create the malestrom it did. Hell NO! LOL No matter how enlightened the male just does not know what it is like to walk in the females shoes. and vice versa. This of course excluded MTF, FTM I am not going to get into that as it is a whole other issue. Just as I do not know what its like to be a man, or a drug addict, or black. I would never even hesitate a guess as to what its like to be discriminated against just from the color of My skin. So, do men not know what it is like to be a Mistress. They think they can relate or have a "good" response to Our issues, however, they do not really know what W/we face. Nor do I know what it is like to be a male submissive. It would just be speculation on My part. What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " Just as I do not have to justify why I do not want sex from a man, I see no need to justify why I did not ask for "advice or insight" from a man. It's funny to Me that they(men) all felt like they had something valuable to lend. Did any of them ask? NOPE. They just made the decision for themselves. Then it became about freedom, and bias, and property of CM etc etc etc. The crux was this, a Mistress asked for other Mistresses feedback and men jumped all over it. Period. Is that right or wrong? Y/you all have made your personal decisions.

LaTigresse -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 8:49:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse What this thread really smacks of to Me is what I and many other gay women get from men constantly: "Oh you really would enjoy sex with me if you tried it. you do not know what your missing honey, you need a real man to fix that itch baby. Oh Mistress I would please you like no one else ever has I promise. " While I had certainly seen that attitude, I haven't sensed that from this thread. More of anyones opinion can be valuable, whether they are Domme or sub or top or bottom. As a dominant gay woman, I've gotten very little of that attitude from this site. Those that have, have disappeared as suddenly as they've shown up. I've certainly never gotten that attitude from any of the regular posters or anyone that has posted on this thread. The primary attitude I see here is from the OP. An obvious dislike of men. A shame really.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 9:08:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse The primary attitude I see here is from the OP. An obvious dislike of men. A shame really. I don't get that at all, I think the OP was friendly and courteous to the men who responded, because her sexual preferences are not men doesn't mean she dislikes them. Now I don't agree with everything FloridaMistress says, but I certainly respect her right to see things a certain way, I would like to have a lot of feedback from a lot of different angles, but requesting that only Mistresses reply is OK, it's her choice which advise she wants to take, right

VeryCurious07 -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 9:25:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beeble That you should try to force this closed-mindedness on everybody else in this forum by seeking to suppress the contribution of men here is repugnant. That you should try to paint people's objections to this as men repressing you and disrespecting your sexuality is disgusting hypocrisy. Fuck you. while I agree with some of the things you say, is there really a need to be so disrespectful and flame the woman for her views? I get that you don't agree with her, but you accuse her of being disrespectul and then you post this?

undergroundsea -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 9:32:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze True, but I might have watched train wrecks, being in a train wreck is still a completely different experience... I know you have no hidden meaning in the example you picked for what was witnessed or experienced. Still, with my penchant for puns, I find it amusing ;-) Cheers, Sea

SpinnerofTales -> RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? (11/18/2008 9:34:37 AM)
I do not in any way identify myself a a Mistress. I DO identify myself with someone who values free speech. In that vein, let me suggest that if one does not want to read postings from any group or individual, the answer is not to stop them from posting, the answer is not to read them. Unless and until someone says "you must read/listen to" any specific viewpoint or offering, I will strongly support the right of any to post what they like. I will also vigerously defend my right to post as I choose in public forums. The flip side of that, of course, is that I will activly defend the rights of those writers who I consider to be small minded, misguided, spewers of drivel. If I find myself getting annoyed at their nonsense, I simply won't read it.

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