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ORIGINAL: antipode

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How?

She had agreed to be photographed, purely for personal use, and I always put a disclaimer into my lists in that case, that ordinary copyright and IP rights apply - the work is my property, sub may use what I chose to give her privately, but not commercially, blah blah blah. Sub decided to challenge me on it, and I got a letter from her lawyers (years later) to hand over the materials, as they were her property as the model. I pointed out the facts of copyright life to them, in a letter, mentioned that I had her agreement in writing, and I'd be happy to see them in court. Never heard another word, I knew that she didn't have much money, and that the lawyers therefore wouldn't take on a case she might lose. They never even asked me for the proof, which I made clear I would produce in court, but not before. Without some emails and the checklist, I could not have made that play, and it  could have gotten very expensive.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

When I was but a new and naive girl (haha) beginning my explorations of the world of BDSM, I found a checklist to be useful, simply as a means to learn what people actually DO. I wouldn't have imagined many of the items listed, and found myself fascinated by some and repelled by others. It was a good starting point for me to understand what the possibilities were, and to go from there.

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ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

I feel checklists are a ridiculous, LAZY idea, what is wrong with communication, talking & discussion?

I have never used one, and never will, save paper lol

A competant Dominant, will store all the information they need in their minds, no need for a list to check, in my pov.

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ORIGINAL: RainydayNE


that's where i am, and why i like the lists of stuff =p

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ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Very good point Lady Pact. How do you use checklists? What works for you?

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

I feel checklists are a ridiculous, LAZY idea, what is wrong with communication, talking & discussion?

I have never used one, and never will, save paper lol

A competant Dominant, will store all the information they need in their minds, no need for a list to check, in my pov.

Lazy and incompetent?  I know you've got to be kidding.  I find it hard to believe that I'm the only Dominant out there who doesn't have a perfect memory and is able to keep every possible kink, fetish, thrill, and any other thing on mental file. When did reference material become a bad thing?

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ORIGINAL: nhite

i think for someone very new, they are a total waste of effort as the person potentially doesnt know what they want or how to envision things being done.   ask me if i want a knife against my skin and i will tell you no way -- but describe to me how its done and what it could be like, then maybe

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ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

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ORIGINAL: nhite

i think for someone very new, they are a total waste of effort as the person potentially doesnt know what they want or how to envision things being done.   ask me if i want a knife against my skin and i will tell you no way -- but describe to me how its done and what it could be like, then maybe

I don't see them as a waste of time for someone new. I think it more depends on how it's used as to it's actual worth. For me, it was a great tool to show me things I'd never thought of when I first became interested in bdsm. As a tool of reference during discussion absolutely it can help a lot. The person using it and how they use it is what makes it this or that. In and of itself, it's not good or bad. It just exists.

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ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

This is the exact same reason I feel checklists are not useful.

Someone may opt for flogging or spanking as a tick "yes", but may have infact been flogged/spanked rather mild with a previous Dom/me.

These lists conjour up more confusion, I view them in the same way  asI view safewords, a waste of energy and time

To be in the moment, gauge, explore, feel, touch, savour, exploring reactions/thresholds/limits is better hands on, and mind on.

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ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

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ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

This is the exact same reason I feel checklists are not useful.

Someone may opt for flogging or spanking as a tick "yes", but may have infact been flogged/spanked rather mild with a previous Dom/me.

These lists conjour up more confusion, I view them in the same way  asI view safewords, a waste of energy and time

To be in the moment, gauge, explore, feel, touch, savour, exploring reactions/thresholds/limits is better hands on, and mind on.

Your example is a good reason why how they are used makes a big difference as well as how the checklist is written and what it contains. Sure, just filling out a list and exchanging it isn't going to show much of anything, but discussing the list, the choices and why's and any previous experiences does make a difference. Checklists aren't necessarily needed, but used right can be an asset to better communication and communication is key.

Hands on is great. I remember my first experience, no checklist involved, just a lot of communication first and starting light and slow and working up to more and harder. It was awesome and the top was excellent and is a good friend still.

Don't get me started on safewords either lol. I don't use them, haven't ever needed them and don't find them necessary unless it is in a specific type of scene where no and stop, etc., don't mean that.