Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:01:16 PM   
FloridaMistresse


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline 		Recently I posted about Vanilla over shadowing a Ds relationship and how to avoid that from happening.
A wonderful Dominant responded to Me privately about a forum she attended about the same topic.
 
It was discussed that a sexual relationship was harder to maintain a Ds dynamic that a Non sexual Ds relationship. I have heard this utter from others  as well. So,  I thought it would make for an ineresting post.
 
Does sex ( romantic sex, not play party sex) blur the Ds lines or infrige, harm, over shadow, make more vanilla  the  Ds dymanic.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:10:25 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		My sub is my property to use as I see fit.  If I see fit to use him for sex, and even allow him to have an orgasm, I don't see how that disrupts the d/s dynamic.

(in reply to FloridaMistresse)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:12:34 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

Recently I posted about Vanilla over shadowing a Ds relationship and how to avoid that from happening.
A wonderful Dominant responded to Me privately about a forum she attended about the same topic.
 
It was discussed that a sexual relationship was harder to maintain a Ds dynamic that a Non sexual Ds relationship. I have heard this utter from others  as well. So,  I thought it would make for an ineresting post.
 
Does sex ( romantic sex, not play party sex) blur the Ds lines or infrige, harm, over shadow, make more vanilla  the  Ds dymanic.


Why not use a slave for sex; it is within Your right, no?

*wink

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to FloridaMistresse)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:21:42 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		Sex can ruin or enhance any relationship, it can cause it to stagnate or even allow it one to blossom.  None of these possibilities are exclusive of or only to D/s relationships; it is based on the individuals involved, their dynamic and their personal reactions to all the many aspects of sexual interaction. 

By the way, the absence of sex can do all the same things mentioned above; like much in our community, there are no hard and fast rules.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:23:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I have to say that for Me, it does.  One of the best things I ever did with My current boy, waiting until he was collared was the right choice.  It just worked for Me.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:25:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Most of my D/s relationships were non sexual, and I expect I will always have my minions, regardless of my romantic life.  With romantic partners, I found that the deterioration of the sexual part of the relationship was more corrupting than the sex being there in the first place.  When a lot of issues are swirling around, sex is often the common ground for a couple---when that is gone, there might not be much left.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 12:42:00 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Sex is very important to me and it is always a part of my playtime with my sub. I do not think it corrupts a D/s relationship. I think what can corrupt a D/s relationship is slacking over time by either side or both sides of the whip. All relationships take work and D/s is no exception.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to FloridaMistresse)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 3:57:58 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sex corrupts?  Oh shit!

Actually, it makes a lot of things work better for me and if it corrupted anything I would be history.  If submission to me is based on sexual anythings, I don't want it.  If the relationship is enhanced, cool, if it is in any way changed other than that, there is a bigger problem that needs to be addressed.  Typically by an exit, but that is just my experience.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 4:01:38 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have found exactly one sub that did not want sex to mix wiht D/s..and only one.I remember being very surprised at the time..later I came to understand to her sex got in the way of the D/s...Funny I've never felt like that

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 4:04:54 PM   
StrictnSaucy


Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldnt be fulfilled in a  relationship with out sex. So for me its a necessity. It doesnt impact on our bdsm interactions - its an addition

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 4:12:01 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		For me if he's keeping me sexually satisfied and happy, I am more inclined to be submissive and make him happy, more than I already to.

(in reply to Huntertn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 4:17:36 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		It does depend a bit really, if it is with my partner, well then no, if it is just with somebody I'm playing with, then I rather not mix the sex bit in because that could make it quite confusing

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 4:55:53 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		For me BDSM enhances the sexual relationship versus corrupting it. Though if someone feels the need to corrupt me who I am to say no?

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 4:56:05 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

It does depend a bit really, if it is with my partner, well then no, if it is just with somebody I'm playing with, then I rather not mix the sex bit in because that could make it quite confusing


Nice point Ma`am. I would think some relationships are based on just play, and introducing a sexual aspect would lead to complications. That said, i think it is entirely possible to have a sexual relationship and not lose sight of the dynamic. Infact, for me that would work quite well. The more intimate i am, the more i would trust someone with regards to limits.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 5:18:02 PM   
shymetalsub


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		There are plenty of people (myself included) who see D/s as an extension of love, sex and romance. So for many of us, throwing sex into the mix is just the natural step. The only way I could see sex as complicating things is if vanilla sex started encroaching upon a D/s couple, either because of a busy schedule, laziness, etc. To me nothing cramps a femdom sexual relationship like excessive blow jobs and missionary position. Vanilla sex can just KILL the mood and change the headspace for both parties.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 5:22:20 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I see sex as sex... there is no vanilla or d/s or anything else to it.  I mix sex with my dominance, sure... and I am sure who I am with mixes submission with our sex... but sex is sex and that is that.  I do not see a blow job as submissive, nor the missionary position.  They are just fun to me!  I do what I want... now that is dominant sex I guess... but it's all the same to me.  I don't take my dominance off to have certain types of sex. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to shymetalsub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 5:28:55 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

It does depend a bit really, if it is with my partner, well then no, if it is just with somebody I'm playing with, then I rather not mix the sex bit in because that could make it quite confusing


Nice point Ma`am. I would think some relationships are based on just play, and introducing a sexual aspect would lead to complications. That said, i think it is entirely possible to have a sexual relationship and not lose sight of the dynamic. Infact, for me that would work quite well. The more intimate i am, the more i would trust someone with regards to limits.



Well, I'm a rather monogamous animal when it comes to sex, though when it comes to topping somebody, I'm not monogamous...

Let me put it this way, I have no issue with somebody being aroused or wanting release, but if vanilla sex is involved and we're just play partners, I like to keep my own sexual satisfaction out of the equation, if that makes sense? Or to be quite blunt, intercourse or "oral worship" isn't an option or it would muddle things up for me...





_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 5:53:11 PM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		 
My play is sensual/sexual, most of the time but I don't have sexual "intercourse" with anyone but my alpha.  Our relationship is enhanced by it.  We will be getting married next year, a FemDom... match made in heaven. 

As always... what works for some may not work for others.  I warn new Dommes and submissives, that I mentor or train to not fall into the trap of putting themselves in a limited box because of what they've read or told them.  We should all work on making our relationships into what we want them to be and not what someone said they should be according to their BDSM 101.

Ms. Faye

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to shymetalsub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 6:30:05 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		In my opinion, sex does not "corrupt" a D/s relationship.  There are relationships that are meant to exist without sex that are very successful, and there are relationships were sex is a crucial element that are likewise very happy and fulfilling.
I, personally, am a sexual creature.  However, I don't think 'vanilla sex' devalues any D/s connotation the relationship has.  Even the most standard sexual encounter (say, one man, one woman, missionary, etc) is neither inherently vanilla or D/s related.  As one who only serves women, if I bring my Lady to orgasm through oral stimulation, and she does the same in return to me, this would not corrupt our relationship in the slightest.  I was still there for her pleasure.  If it was her pleasure to enjoy no toy, no whips, no bondage pleasure, who am I to say no?  If it is her pleasure to enjoy bringing me to orgasm, it is still at her whim.


(in reply to MistressFaye1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? - 11/17/2008 7:32:31 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		With apologies to Lord Acton, I've wanted to say this all day:

Sex corrupts.  Absolute sex corrupts absolutely.

I feel so much better now

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Does Sex corrupt a Ds relationship? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078