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RE: friends - 11/17/2008 8:35:00 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
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I don't get all anal about it but yes, i try to keep it to friends... whether online or r/t, but friends. Makes it easier.

Dreamer

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Post #: 21

RE: friends - 11/17/2008 8:36:55 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

Don't forget the sweet lil redheads!
'k?

Or the random bewbage...

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Post #: 22

RE: friends - 11/17/2008 8:42:05 PM

sobayblackmaster

Posts: 108
Joined: 11/16/2008
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Let me clear the air, now that we're starting to feel some obviously heartfelt responses to my question. I did not post this thread as some fancy pickup line, I posted it in reaction to several of the profiles I read as I browsed CM for the first time. I sincerely wanted to hear honest responses from real subs as to how they feel about the topic of friends and what that means.

Now I see that the topic seems to be a catalyst for some sincere emotional expression and I've become even more fascinated. There are many takes on the issue and I confess that I am not without feelings on the subject. Although I decried the "myspace syndrome" (perhaps friendrome?) I'm not down on that site, but as saucy and rainy have alluded there can be an emptiness to having a list of friends that you really have no contact with, but I hold that opportunity can present itself at unexpected times and through unexpected means. I also realize that opening the door to a part of one's self does sometimes bring unexpectedly negative results, as desfip pointed out. Additionally mfantasygirl mentioned that she's not at all opposed to adding new friends without reservation, though she reserves the right to choose who she will and won't exchange with.

In the end it's a personal decision, but I must say it's very interesting to feel the degree of pushback for the thread. BTW-I also acknowleged on another site I'm on (vanilla of course) that I celebrated finally adding someone to my list of friends that I actually know and have worked with, so go figure.

Thanks!

Black Master

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Post #: 23

RE: friends - 11/17/2008 11:47:22 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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I do not know if asking this question on the forums is going to gain you a broad response, but a more minority one. On a forum where the words 'real', 'true' and online 'relationships' are fundementally laughed at by the majority, you are definately going to get a biased response. People that post and participate on the forums are more likely to have built friendships based on time, than a person who uses the other side of the profiles purely to hook up or as a dating site and is therefore visiting less frequently. People who have built a firm friendship base where they meet people offline or have regular contact via telephones or mail(E and postal) are going to want to make those relationships far more 'important'.

On the myspace mention, personally I love Myspace. It is a good networking tool and without it Darcy and I may never have met.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 11/17/2008 11:48:06 PM >

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RE: friends - 11/18/2008 12:00:50 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
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From: Salt Lake City, UT
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friends list... well, actually, I use it more of an "I admire this person" list. For some reason or another. Like Bear... well, who doesn't love Bear? And Greedy... same reason really. But, I admire everyone on the list because they bring a unique point of view, a unique ability, or... that certain something that one just can't put ones finger on, but, it's there.

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Post #: 25

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 12:17:56 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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I have a few friends on here, most I hve met. I dont get the whole add a friend before speaking to the. On other networking sites you have to add before you can message them here you dont so i dont really understand the point of it. I kinda see a friends list as arecomendation of people who are worth talking to.

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Post #: 26

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 12:21:28 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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*adores BK*

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Post #: 27

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 12:23:13 AM

GreedyTop

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*tacklemolests my colourful girly*

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Post #: 28

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 12:29:04 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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FR

I use Yahoo messenger a lot to keep in touch with friends and family. I am online there most of the time as I have friends in various parts of the world and it an easy way to send messages and pictures etc. I am always amazed at how many pm's I get from complete strangers. When I ask what they want they say they want to be "friends". To me friends are people you have met in real life and have a connection with. It is a shame that the internet seems to have watered down the term and it is seen as ok to call someone you have chatted with once "a friend".

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Post #: 29

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 1:02:14 AM

StrtbkNamdDesire

Posts: 53
Joined: 11/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Most of the people who have asked to be friends that were strangers to me, seemed to have huge numbers of women on their profile as friends.

Pre-zacktly. I'd rather not be part of an online harem. Friend lists are rather silly, IMO. I mean, what does it prove, anyway? That you spend more time perving hot chicks' profiles and sending out requests? :P

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Post #: 30

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 2:49:32 AM

wandersalone

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This comment of yours below is a fundamental difference we may have in our attitude towards the whole friends thing. I view the people whom I let add and those that I add as people whom I know offline or that I have grown to know online through emails or forums we inhabit .... they are not opportunities or possibilities or anything else. They are people whom I already know I like and/or admire.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sobayblackmaster

I can relate to rejecting what could be referred to as the "myspace" tendency to collect long lists of meaningless names, but I ask:who really knows in what clothing opportunity will arrive at their doorstep?

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Post #: 31

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 2:49:32 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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I graduated from high school 22 years ago...

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Post #: 32

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 3:50:27 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
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for the record, i like myspace, too =p it's fun
i also think people are probably likely to be a bit more guarded here, for various reasons, blah blah blah

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Post #: 33

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 3:52:31 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

This comment of yours below is a fundamental difference we may have in our attitude towards the whole friends thing. I view the people whom I let add and those that I add as people whom I know offline or that I have grown to know online through emails or forums we inhabit .... they are not opportunities or possibilities or anything else. They are people whom I already know I like and/or admire.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sobayblackmaster

I can relate to rejecting what could be referred to as the "myspace" tendency to collect long lists of meaningless names, but I ask:who really knows in what clothing opportunity will arrive at their doorstep?

I think the difference between comparing the friends list to myspace is a bit pointless in reality. Myspace isn't and wasn't fundementally a dating site. It is and always has been a networking one, even if people do treat it like a pick up joint from time to time. People primarily come on a site like this to find others for some sort of relationship - whether that is play or something longer term is bytheby. Myspace, for people like me, gives me the oppotunity to find new bands or writers I might not come across in day to day life. It gives me the chance to meet and network with other photographers, with actors, with people from the arts. I get to hear in advance about displays, exhibitions and I get to participate. And, without it, I just may have never met the man I am with today - but the difference is there was no intent to date in the first place - it just happened. Whereas a place like here - the intent in general is to date, fuck or play. The networking comes a second on a site like this and even though people like Darcy and I still use it for networking only, it's not the primary goal for the majority.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 11/18/2008 3:54:42 AM >

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Post #: 34

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 3:54:19 AM

thishereboi

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I have 2 people on my friends list and I know them both in real life. I don't pay that much attention to other peoples lists, so I am not sure what the hoopla is about. I liked myspace, but again, all my friends were people I knew in real life. Well except for the bands, I just like their music. Most of the people I had on myspace were family members and I found I learned alot about the kids just reading their blogs and stuff.

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Post #: 35

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 4:01:32 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I graduated from high school 22 years ago...

I graduated from high school 31 years ago....but I still have freinds. In fact I still have freinds from high school.

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Post #: 36

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 4:07:10 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
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I have friends from high school too...I was just never into that "proving people like me" thing. That's all the friends list is to me. Only my opinion.

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Post #: 37

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 4:15:20 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
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i think of them as putting people you want to talk to all in a convenient location so that when you want to send them a message, you can find them easier. =p IMO

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Post #: 38

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 4:30:35 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have friends from high school too...I was just never into that "proving people like me" thing. That's all the friends list is to me. Only my opinion.

I don't see that anyone is trying to prove anything. I used myspace to keep up to date on friends and family. As far as I know, unless your on my list, you can't see who my friends are. But if you could, why would anyone care?

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Post #: 39

RE: friends - 11/18/2008 5:47:02 AM

sobayblackmaster

Posts: 108
Joined: 11/16/2008
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obviously the subject is one to which everyone reacts and of course there must be different flavors within the community. my point seems to have gotten lost but again I thank everyone for contributing. my path is personal so the journey, the means, the ends all dovetail from within.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 40

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