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ElanSubdued -> RE: Kissing. Who initiates? How intimate is it? Do you dominate a man you never kiss? (11/25/2008 9:47:07 AM)
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Akasha,
I've been very busy (with work) the last few weeks. This said, given that this thread is about *kissing*, I've been wanting to reply. My thoughts may be a tad scattered because I don't have time to sit down and "compose", but hopefully the gist comes through.
quote:
MissIsis:
I never kiss my submissives. It is not difficult at all, nor has it ever been a problem.
I'm not compatible with a Domme who won't kiss me. As to who initiates, my partner does and so do I. It's an organic thing that is difficult to put rules around and I have no desire to put rules around it anyway. When I kiss someone, it's an at-the-moment, spontaneous, improvised, passionate way of communicating affection. I don't plan it and asking permission kills the mood and spontaneity. It's fun, from time-to-time or in certain circumstances, to have "you must ask" protocols in place. However, as an ongoing, day-to-day dynamic in a relationship, I'm not fond of rules that preclude me communicating to my partner. Kissing restrictions, for me, fall into a category of barriers/destructors that inhibit communication and intimacy. I suppose I should add that friendship, romance, BDSM, play, intimacy, and love are all parts of a greater whole. It is rare that I separate these in my relationships.
Ferns (who posted on page one) sums up my feelings on kissing, as follows:
"Kissing is like sex without the sex, the promise of sex, and sometimes better than sex, and every aspect of sex can be put into it, and every aspect of D/s can be expressed in it, and it's just just just... Kissing is completely, utterly and hugely underrated! It is like an obsession for me, kissing, oh, and mouths, god, mouths are just incredibly beautiful, and tactile, and soft, and wet, and mobile, and expressive, and altogether delicious. Kissing *so* hits my buttons, all of them at once."
In the past, I attempted to write my own thoughts about kissing and they came out something like this:
"There is nothing so totally powerful, sensual, romantic, kinky, truly intimate, and mutually encompassing as lips and tongues intertwined. To be ensconced in my partner's mind, mouth, and body... to wrap myself around her, to blanket her inside my mouth and with my body, with love and affection... pure, mutual bliss. To me, there is no form of physical affection that is more intimate. Kissing can be soft, gentle, loving, hard, raw, wet, vicious, fast, slow, ravenous, and a myriad of other, tangible and intangible things. It's hugely romantic and I'm a huge romantic at heart."
I'll defer to Ferns, once again, for the denouement:
"I want to get inside him through his mouth."
Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? :-)
Elan.
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