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RE: want a dom - 12/22/2005 6:34:02 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

well considering you just joined,have no info on your profile, and provided a scanty post here, we really don't have much to go on, perhaps a tad more information about how that transpired--and I agree, being nice and challenging a Dom are like comparing apples and birdseed---

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to btchnheet)

Post #: 21

RE: want a dom - 12/22/2005 6:47:09 AM

hornydry

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I've been trying for the past three years getting a dom to no avail, when I think I've got the right person and there is a glimmer at the end of the tunnel than all of sudden it just goes dark again.

Hopefully with enough patience will one day get an honest and patient Master/Dom

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 22

RE: want a dom - 12/22/2005 7:04:32 AM

afmvdp

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

nothing worth having ever comes easy.

(in reply to hornydry)

Post #: 23

RE: want a dom - 12/22/2005 7:08:09 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grim43510

if evry girl wasn't a challenge is some way shape or form they wouldn't be subs all girls would just be slaves. Anyways a challenge is always good for sharpening one's skills. *smiles* oh and i am avilable *winks*

clearly you don't know what a slave is!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Grim43510)

Post #: 24

RE: want a dom - 12/24/2005 9:08:41 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

I don't get interested in women who aren't personally and intellectually challenging. On the other hand, I don't expect submission to be an endless battle, either. After a short while, it comes down to: "If you want to submit to me, then submit; if you don't, you are better off with another dom."

_____________________________

_______________________________________________
"She always had a terrific sense of humor"
(Valerie Solonas, as described by her mother)
_______________________________________________

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 25

RE: want a dom - 12/24/2005 11:47:38 PM

s1nn3r

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

Okay, its been said but to add weight to it, "I like a challenge". Now there is a difference between a girl being a challenge and a girl just plain being disrespectful. There IS a line thats drawn and shouldnt be crossed. Im not saying that you crossed it, probably the exact opposite if this was a quick response or one-liner. Dont get discouraged, though. All relationships are like that. People tend to get defensive when they feel rejected so I wouldnt take it to heart.

-S1N

(in reply to Manawyddan)

Post #: 26

RE: want a dom - 12/25/2005 12:14:44 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Have you ever tried to hold a conversation with a 'dumb blond'

OscarHargreaves

^laughs^ i am a dumb blonde about many things. Fixing stuff. What to do in an emergency. geography. etc, etc, etc.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/25/2005 12:15:09 AM >

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

Post #: 27

RE: want a dom - 12/25/2005 12:44:04 AM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afmvdp

nothing worth having ever comes easy.

Exactly right.

At their best and "easiest", rich and meaningful relationships are challenging to develop and perfect. That being the case, some woman who feels the need to "be a handful" just to make some sort of point with a man marks herself as immature and uninteresting.

Certainly not interesting enough to warrant the minute or two it might take to decide whether she deserves the title of bitch.

Would you take someone canoeing who announces the on day you meet her that she loves to rock the boat for no better reason than to cause a ruckus and siphon everyone's energy away from trying to get somewhere and enjoy the trip?

(in reply to afmvdp)

Post #: 28

RE: want a dom - 12/25/2005 11:36:18 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

nothing worth having ever comes easy.

It can't be repeated enough.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 29

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 1:53:07 AM

willing2serve

Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

doms really don't want a challenge do they?

Speaking from past bratty experience....I've learned, Doms do want challenges and there will be many on the road of submission. However, most do not want challenges when it comes to facilitating the control given.

In other words, the challenge should not be control or the "make me do it" syndrome.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to Grim43510)

Post #: 30

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 8:30:56 AM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Some Doms want cute, lil robots. I don't understand how that can be much fun. Especially when you consider that you can have a thinking sub with a mind who aches to yield. Why not have some fun with it? Anyone can play robot....boring.

A thinking sub with a mind?? Perish the thought! Why would any sane Dom want to engage in a relationship with a sub that actually has a brain and knows how to use it? Then he would actually have to converse with her. Even worse, she might actually find out what kind of pathtic excuse for a man he really is. Much better to have these brainless and spineless subs with no shred of self esteem left. Really Katy, I am shocked at your words. Subs with brains can only lead to trouble and we can't have any trouble now, can we? *wink*

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Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 31

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 8:34:42 AM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Gee, and by the Op title, i thought you were giving away Doms..LOL.
candystripper

lmao......... so did I... i came to see if there's going to be and auction as well.

You both want "Dom's 'R Us". It is just two blocks down, then hang a left, aisle 11. Now just remember that you can't "sample" the merchandise but you can pinch them to see if they are "ripe" and ready for picking. Have fun!

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 32

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 8:59:23 AM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: btchnheet

i just was told i was not nice. doms really don't want a challenge do they?

As already stated, none of us have anything to go on from your profile and your post but I am going to guess that you met some Dom and you didn't respond to his messages, didn't immediately go on cam for him or want to meet him that night or move hundreds of miles to become his submissive. (Or something along those lines.)

So it begs the question that only you can answer, why would you care what this 'dom' said about you?

As for doms not wanting challenges, it is true as I wrote in response to katy's post. We all want robots, maid service in fishnet stockings with the extras of unlimited sex, cooking, cleaning and NO nagging!

C'mon btchnheet, you are old enough to know that not all men are the same and neither are doms. While it is true that some doms do not want to engage in a relationship where they could be "challenged" by their submissive, who in their right mind would want to be in one whether they aren't engaged mentally and physically? (I will leave the spiritual part out of this!) Most of us are attracted by "the chase" and some by the challenge. A yielding submissive can be very stimulating and very dominating (to the dom of course) but it is what you do after you are caught that will keep the relationship energized (batteries always included!)

In all seriousness btchnheet, take some time to meet a few doms, separate the wheat from the chafe using the criteria of who you are and what you have to offer.

Best of luck

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to btchnheet)

Post #: 33

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 10:42:45 AM

willing2serve

Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

In all seriousness btchnheet, take some time to meet a few doms, separate the wheat from the chafe using the criteria of who you are and what you have to offer

Awesome advice! Couldnt have been stated better!

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to ehlovindom)

Post #: 34

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 10:46:27 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Really Katy, I am shocked at your words. Subs with brains can only lead to trouble and we can't have any trouble now, can we? *wink*

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ehlovindom)

Post #: 35

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 2:31:15 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve

quote:

doms really don't want a challenge do they?

Speaking from past bratty experience....I've learned, Doms do want challenges and there will be many on the road of submission. However, most do not want challenges when it comes to facilitating the control given.

In other words, the challenge should not be control or the "make me do it" syndrome.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

I agree completely. Submission presents enough challenges organically, I dont have the time of the inclination to create any more than Ive already got on my plate.
I think that if you ask yourself a very simple question: "Is this behavior helping me to be good or hindering my being good?" It pretty much all falls into place from there.

Then again, here in the wonderful world wide web, there just may exist a person or two who considers any submissive who doesnt bow down and Please Sir this Please Sir that every Dom/me s/he meets to be "not nice". I have been told by pushy, flashy, what seem to be to be wanna_ be_ internet_ Doms that Im "not very submissive" but I think if you were to ask my significant other if Im submissive within the context of our relationship he would not hesitate to say "Yes.".
So there ya go. Ya just never know.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to willing2serve)

Post #: 36

RE: want a dom - 12/26/2005 2:54:58 PM

MasterHyde

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Oy!

Some people (doms) want a challenge. Some don't.
Some people are nice. Some aren't.
Some people people prefer ketchup on their mashed potatoes even.

I don't know who said you aren't nice. I can't possibly respond to without knowing you, or knowing the context in which you were told such a thing. But I can tell you that one person, or even a handful of people, telling you that doesn't mean "doms don't want a challenge." People leap to all kinds of conclusions around here. You're leaping to one now.

Keep in mind, there is no ideal mold. No standard definition that fits "all doms." I'd go as far as to say that you can't even assume all doms are actually dominant! How's that for weird? It sounds to me as if you met a few people who weren't interested in what you offered them. You can either choose to evaluate what was offered, or you can move on and look for someone who does appreciate it.

There's no magic formula that says "Your dominant + I'm submissive = We must be compatible." We have more aspects to our personalities, and we all have our own unique preferences and desires. It's entirely possible that you just haven't met the kind of dominant who is compatible with you. Those fair tale romances where the you live happily ever after with the first eligible prince who comes along are just that. Fairy rale romances. In real life, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. And if you're a woman on an Internet dating site, you're gonna have a lot of frogs wanting to jump on your lily pad. You'll have to reject a lot of them, and many will respond with statements far worse than "You're not nice." Consider yourself lucky if that's all you've been told. Some of those frogs get downright nasty when they're rejected. LOL

_____________________________

Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to btchnheet)

Post #: 37

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 3:06:44 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

You both want "Dom's 'R Us". It is just two blocks down, then hang a left, aisle 11. Now just remember that you can't "sample" the merchandise but you can pinch them to see if they are "ripe" and ready for picking. Have fun!

Just be very careful... quite a number of them will pinch back...

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to ehlovindom)

Post #: 38

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 11:42:03 AM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

You both want "Dom's 'R Us". It is just two blocks down, then hang a left, aisle 11. Now just remember that you can't "sample" the merchandise but you can pinch them to see if they are "ripe" and ready for picking. Have fun!

Just be very careful... quite a number of them will pinch back...

Some have been known to gently bite back as well!

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 39

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 4:31:37 PM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I've always found this "challenge" thing baffling. I read a profile that said "I'm a brat, can you handle me?" What's the point of creating tension and conflict where there is none? I used to think subs wanted to see if the DOMs power was creater than thier own? A buddy told me the "challenge" thing is for attention. Whatever it is, it creates an area of uncomfortableness for all involved. If the DOM doesn't react, then he's weak. If he does react, he's labeled psycho.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to btchnheet)

Post #: 40

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