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RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 5:38:58 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

Some have been known to gently bite back as well!

Ooooooooo........I DO love to bite!

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Post #: 41

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 5:47:29 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

I've always found this "challenge" thing baffling. I read a profile that said "I'm a brat, can you handle me?" What's the point of creating tension and conflict where there is none? I used to think subs wanted to see if the DOMs power was creater than thier own? A buddy told me the "challenge" thing is for attention. Whatever it is, it creates an area of uncomfortableness for all involved. If the DOM doesn't react, then he's weak. If he does react, he's labeled psycho.

No, there can be a very real thing about the "challenge". Many of us are very strong, self-sufficient people in our own right. We want to make sure that person that we submit to is actually a person capable of engendering that submission. Many people can call themselves Dom(me) and be really vanilla with kink or, in actuality, emotionally weaker than their submissive counterparts.

I can get any of my employees to submit to my will (with or without bitching). The man I serve, by his very aura, compelled me to serve him. His intellegence, wit and humor was more than a match to my own. Without testing these areas, I am not sure I would have ever realized how submissive I actually am. And maybe I am only submissive to HIM. Who knows?

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Post #: 42

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 6:00:25 PM

BearMage

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: Kalamazoo, Mich
Status: offline

That depends, as stated in other folks' posts on what you mean by a challenge. If you mean defiance for the sake of defiance, that's not a challenge... that's a problem.
On the other hand if you mean a challenge as in keeping me on my toes, I love it. It stimulates the interplay and creativity and can heighten the sexuality of the moment as well. A good game of cat and mouse, where I am the Cat, mind you... chuckle... makes for variety and spice.
Submissive shouldn't mean stupid in my thinking, or empty. I don't want a sub who doesn't think. I treasure good conversation and reward it. If you are secure in yourself you cannot threatened by someone elses thoughts or opinions.

_____________________________

"We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it was made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter."
Mark Twain

(in reply to btchnheet)

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Post #: 43

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 6:10:33 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

I've always found this "challenge" thing baffling. I read a profile that said "I'm a brat, can you handle me?" What's the point of creating tension and conflict where there is none? I used to think subs wanted to see if the DOMs power was creater than thier own? A buddy told me the "challenge" thing is for attention. Whatever it is, it creates an area of uncomfortableness for all involved. If the DOM doesn't react, then he's weak. If he does react, he's labeled psycho.

There is a difference between the "so-called" submissive that will challenge your Dominance at every turn as compared to the submissive that will work along side you to face the challenge of buidling a better strong relationships.

One challenge pits the two against each other... the other is two working together in facing the challenge together. I much prefer a someone that is working with me than against me.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 44

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 6:19:24 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

What dominant males usually desire are obedient females; not smarmy, switching brats. I have no idea what you're like, but it's entirely possible you may have been rude. I certainly don't waste time with rude, disrespectful girls who are looking for a "good flogging". I can't speak for the dominant you interacted with, or any other here for that matter, but I can certainly say that what I do isn't a game.

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Post #: 45

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 6:36:44 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
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quote:

What dominant males usually desire are obedient females; not smarmy, switching brats.

Darn.

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Post #: 46

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 6:41:42 PM

LadyJC

Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

I've had submissives inform me that I'm not a real dom cause I don't participate in online play. I also one time had a Dom inform me that I'm not very Dommely because I listen to New Country music in my car. Last time I honestly didn't realize this lifestyle was to completely evolve around my life.
I've had a submissive who actually wasn't a submissive, he was just a masochist there's a huge difference so I turned in the towel with him and gave up.
I enjoy a challenge, if someone says I bet you can't do this...I turn around and make sure I do it to the best of my ability just to piss them off. Been known to do it my whole life.
I think subs tend to do things just to test out their Doms. Or some, I've seen it happen anyway. I don't mean to insult anyone and if I do I apologize for it now.
It's kind of like a 2 yr. old always tests out their parents to see what they can and can't get away with. Usually they do things like try and touch the stove, most parents well pull them away and smack their hand. Eventually the child will stop going for the stove.
I test submissives, and I've always tested my bfs to see what they will and will not put up with. I just can't stand someone who will do whatever they're told to without a thought for themselves.
However, I also can't stand someone who bitches because I told them to do the dishes.
If someone tells you you're a bitch, depending on the circumstances ignore them, like other people said if it's because you didn't email fast enough, or you wouldn't say yes sir, no sir then don't worry about it. Plenty of fish in the sea.
I've been in the lifestyle for 3 yrs I've yet to find a submissive that's compatible with me, so don't rush things just take a look around fill out your profile and maybe you'll find someone.
LadyJC

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Post #: 47

RE: want a dom - 12/27/2005 6:42:33 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

What dominant males usually desire are obedient females

Obedient to the point of having no opinons? No goals? Of becoming nothing more than yes sir, no sir robots?

A slave/submissive can be obedient and yet still have a mind of their own.

I would perfer that anyone I talked with knew that I was sassy, opinionated, and strong minded. It gives everyone something to work with and enjoy.

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Post #: 48

RE: want a dom - 12/28/2005 3:00:23 AM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

I've always found this "challenge" thing baffling. I read a profile that said "I'm a brat, can you handle me?" What's the point of creating tension and conflict where there is none? I used to think subs wanted to see if the DOMs power was creater than thier own? A buddy told me the "challenge" thing is for attention. Whatever it is, it creates an area of uncomfortableness for all involved. If the DOM doesn't react, then he's weak. If he does react, he's labeled psycho.

No, there can be a very real thing about the "challenge". Many of us are very strong, self-sufficient people in our own right. We want to make sure that person that we submit to is actually a person capable of engendering that submission. Many people can call themselves Dom(me) and be really vanilla with kink or, in actuality, emotionally weaker than their submissive counterparts.

I can get any of my employees to submit to my will (with or without bitching). The man I serve, by his very aura, compelled me to serve him. His intellegence, wit and humor was more than a match to my own. Without testing these areas, I am not sure I would have ever realized how submissive I actually am. And maybe I am only submissive to HIM. Who knows?

This goes back to the expectation thread. I have no expectation nor desire to play endless games of tic tag. (it took me long enough to get out of elementary school). However creating conflict i.e bratty behavior, just for the sake of attention seems counter productive.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to Sunshine119)

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Post #: 49

RE: want a dom - 12/28/2005 8:41:10 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

A slave/submissive can be obedient and yet still have a mind of their own.

Am I arguing this?

No.

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Post #: 50

RE: want a dom - 12/28/2005 5:58:27 PM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119

quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

Some have been known to gently bite back as well!

Ooooooooo........I DO love to bite!

The line-up starts to your left!

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

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Post #: 51

RE: want a dom - 12/29/2005 12:41:09 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

Intelligence on a similar level trumps all. Respect and other things can be learned, but not intelligence. Eventually, the quickness to see things as they are becomes a bonding force or a divider if vastly differing in the parties.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to ehlovindom)

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Post #: 52