BitaTruble
Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DoctorJeep
I had written on another thread about the need to see your sub as not just a toy. Fellow Doms, don't get me wrong, she is there to serve and to please, but, to truly get the most out of her I believe that there must be a mental connection when vertical before play begins. As such, she trusts you more and you explore her more fully. I find that I simply get bored with subs who have nothing to themselves. So my question to the Doms and the subs out there is:
To the Doms:
Which play is better and more satisfying to you? Do you prefer to have the totally disposable little toy? Or, do you find that breaking in one that you actually care for as a person is more of a challenge and produces more of a gain? I suppose that the way that I phrased that indicates my preference...
To the Subs: Would you rather be chewed up and spit out or, would you rather have a Dom who sees you and into you where you have developed a more serious bond?
To both:
Obviously both have thier place depending on the scene and the appetite, but which really makes it for you?
I think your premise is poorly worded. It makes the assumption that a toy has no depth or that once 'used' the remains are spit out and tossed to the dogs like a bone. (Which is pretty hot sometimes!) When I play Scrabble, I can fill up the board with three letter words and not garner much in the way of a score, however, I can also fill up the board with 7 letter words full of X's, Y's and Z's and get an unbeatable (pardon the pun) score so a lot of it depends on the caliber of the toy maker, so to speak. Some of the most amazing SM scenes I've ever had have been with people whom I've just met. There is a vast difference between a 'scene' and a 'relationship'. In a relationship, there was a time when being a toy worked really well for me. It filled me and the relationship that went along with the scenes we did was all about service without any emotional or intimate sexual attachment. For some of us, being used is what we crave and want .. being 'known' doesn't matter so much. Personally, that only works well for me in small increments, but one of those small increments lasted about 3 years, so it's very subjective.
I think what it boils down to, for me and many others I know, is being able to maximize the potential energy available at any given time with any given person. Generally, that's going to take two (or more) people to accomplish. Even when I'm the one tied up, bound to the table, gagged and blindfolded, I'm still responsible for doing 'my part' in a scene to help maximize that energy. Many relationships, especially long standing relationships, appear to be mostly vanilla so what happens during the times when direct play isn't involved is probably not going to matter so much whether you are using a toy or having a scene with a beloved pet or doing it up with your "One" and only. It takes all kinds so I automatically make the assumption that it works in all kinds of ways. Toy or beloved, stranger or soul mate, it's all about what works for those involved.
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"Oh, so it's just like Rock, paper, scissors." He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."
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RE: A semi philosophical question. - 
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