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Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:04:58 PM   
BarbiE74


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/8/2008
Status: offline 		I keep trying to walk away from this LS for various reasons, but it is so in me that everytime I walk away I find myself slowly coming back.  Something I have found is when I am upset about something or stressed I find I want to be punished.... it seems to be a stress reliever for me.  Is this typical of a submissive? 
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:11:02 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Perhaps you're more a bottom (maso) than submissive? I can relate to the feeling of wanting a good beating when I'm stressed.. the endorphins almost invariably make me feel better..

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:18:59 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		i can relate to both of your posts
when i'm stressed out, i reeeeally want to be whacked around
it helps, i think

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:23:29 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
I am very found of having my frustrations taken out on me.
 
Kim

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:24:09 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		lol I love the way you phrased that!

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:31:58 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

lol I love the way you phrased that!


 

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:53:11 PM   
PurpleSockx


Posts: 63
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BarbiE74

I keep trying to walk away from this LS for various reasons, but it is so in me that everytime I walk away I find myself slowly coming back.  Something I have found is when I am upset about something or stressed I find I want to be punished.... it seems to be a stress reliever for me.  Is this typical of a submissive? 
~

I can't tell if it's typical but I know quite a few slaves that are exactly like that and I sure know I can relate to that too. Although I normally don't provoke or disobey on purpose I can find myself crossing the line a bit when I'm upset or also when I'm down. It's usually more a way to get attention, especially if I can't put words on my own feelings. Or even worse, I have even kinda "punished" myself a few times out of frustration or anger by doing things like refusing a reward because I was upset at myself, etc.

So yeah, you're not the only one :)

< Message edited by PurpleSockx -- 11/18/2008 6:54:08 PM >

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:55:56 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		No, it's typical of a masochist.
 
"I'm very fond of having my frustrations taken out on me."  *lol*  I love that!  The worse I feel, the more I want to be beaten...but sometimes light play does a better job of cheering me up.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 6:59:15 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I used to be like this when I was sorta new to it all but over the years I've found other ways to cope when I'm stressed such as spirituality, exercising, friends, family, reading a good book, going for a walk, etc...I no longer feel a need to be punished.

Sure I still like a good beating from time to time when I'm stressed for the adrenaline rush, the endorphin high but I don't view it as a punishment.

A punishment would mean I felt I had done something wrong in my life instead of simply being stressed out from the everyday normal occurences we all have as human beings.

If you are still here in say 10 years or longer the notion will wear off. Until then maybe just take a deep breath and remind yourself that all the problems in the world or even in your life are not your fault or your burden to bear..and then find something else to occupy your time.

Good luck to you!

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 7:14:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe you actually want "funishment"?

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 7:24:22 PM   
BLGirl


Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BarbiE74

I keep trying to walk away from this LS for various reasons, but it is so in me that everytime I walk away I find myself slowly coming back.  Something I have found is when I am upset about something or stressed I find I want to be punished.... it seems to be a stress reliever for me.  Is this typical of a submissive? 


I don't know about anyone else here, but yes, this is typical for me. I have posted concerning this somewhere else around here, but cannot remember where. Anyway, when I am wrapped up tight and need to release, it isn't something that I can do on my own. Daddy can take care of that for me, he knows what I need him to do, so all is good.
 
BLGirl

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 7:48:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So don't go in for a full power relationship. Find a friendly sadist.

Beyond that try heavy exercise for endorphin release.

Me, I have a couple of times asked to be spanked until crying but he disapproves of that as a solution. He prefers for me to associate spankings with arousal. Plus by the time I ask, I'm already falling apart and about ready to sob my frustrations into his shoulder.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 8:28:38 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69


I am very found of having my frustrations taken out on me.
 
Kim


Exactly!!

I never thought of it like that but that is exactly how i feel at times *S* great wording

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/18/2008 9:31:04 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		when i am stressed or up set a play session will help or for me just being at my M'Lady brings me to a place of calm. it is for me a way of submitting to my M'Lady and allowing all my problems to be lifted. it helps me to focus   on the important things the bond with my M'Lady.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 12:01:30 AM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline 		Fast Reply:

I know that I used to hurt myself when I got stressed... Not like for attention or anything... Just because (As I have explained it to EVERYONE that would ask) the pain I was feeling on the outside felt less "hurtful" than the pain on the inside.... I know that It wasn't for attention because I wouldn't do anything that was really permanant, but it would HURT and I couldn't help myself.... The first time that I realized that I was doing it when I got too excited or over stimulated in any way was when I was on the way to my senior prom... I was extremely happy... I was going with my boyfriend (of the time), I was in my dream car, everything was paid for, I looked HOT, and everything was wonderful... and my date had to keep pulling my hand off of me... I was scratching my arm so bad that I had red welts.... I couldn't stop... every time he would stop me, I would be fine for a few seconds.. and go right back to it and not realize it... I would just be looking out the window or something...

I have also bit my thumb so hard that I bled and almost ripped out my bangs by thier roots once.... That was a BAD day.... Thank God Sweets was there.... ::sigh::

Wait.. sorry.... forgot what I was saying... I think it's bed time... Sorry... lol

< Message edited by MarksFantasyGirl -- 11/19/2008 12:02:04 AM >

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 12:30:55 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		Physical beatings produce a surge of endorphines and dopamin which gives you a positive feeling of rush and thereafter a sense of calm and tiredness. So it's not unusual for masochists to long for a spanking to ease frustration. 

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 1:24:20 AM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69


I am very found of having my frustrations taken out on me.
 
Kim


chiming in on this, hilariously wonderful :)

note: i don't do anything to set him off. i just like when things get a little farther "out of my range" if that makes any sense.
the "funishment" thing is probably more along the lines -- like if i actually DID piss him off, that would probably NOT be fun, since fun as a punishment isn't exactly productive =p

anyway, yeah, it's got alot to do with the endorphins. and if i get to the point of crying, EVERYTHING goes out with it, not just what's happening at the moment, but whatever was making me frustrated gets washed away, too.

it's helpful and fun at the same time
can't beat that, really

(in reply to cpK69)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 3:31:55 AM   
Sallamanda


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not yet in a Dom/sub relationship, however I can relate as when I'm feeling stressed, pressured, tense, etc, etc, I find if I have some waxing done I come out feeling much MUCH better. I find it cathartic. Now I wonder if a spanking would do the same thing? lol.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 6:03:27 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I try to avoid doing anything that warrants punishment like the plague as that word for this house has nothing but negative conotations attatched to it.

I'm not a masochist for sure but I do know that this more intense focus and use upon me by Master can and does re-direct my thoughts and attention off of myself and onto him. In a sense taking the part of me thats controlling myself (my self produced feelings related to stress) and putting the control of me back where it needs to be..with Master.

starshine

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 7:35:10 AM   
Pokahotass


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline 		FantasyGirl, I used to have the same kind of behaviors. It calmed a lot with age. Now I find when one of those moods hits me it's a sign of somethings else. Mostly stress, good or bad.  I can be happy, sad, or just plain ok and suddelnly it hits. Now I ask Sir for some rough treatment (or more likly instigate it :) ) and I feel all better. It doesn't even have to be extream treatment, just a little otk before we play.

Im much happier now and don't have to whare long sleeves all the time :) It wasn't an attention thing with me either just stress relief. I supose other people would go jogging or play some sports.

To the OP it does most come down to the individual but I think it's safe to say quite a few people who identify as Sub/Slave/Bottom enjoy the catharsis (sp?). I think of it as very physical theropy.

(in reply to starshineowned)
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