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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 7:47:44 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BarbiE74

I keep trying to walk away from this LS for various reasons, but it is so in me that everytime I walk away I find myself slowly coming back.  Something I have found is when I am upset about something or stressed I find I want to be punished.... it seems to be a stress reliever for me.  Is this typical of a submissive? 


I wouldn't call it a submissive thing, at least not for me. I don't call it punishment either. What I want/need periodically is a good, extended, heavy session of impact play and other evil implements. It tends to de-stress and re-center me for awhile; and then there are times I just enjoy getting to play. It's my maso needs that drive me to that. My submissive needs are separate and need different types of things to fulfill them.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 7:50:35 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		If i am stressed i don't want to be unished.  Punishment for being stressed does not really seem right we all have stress in our lives.  I find playing with Master brings a bigger endorphin rush than any beating could.  Since i am not a fan of pain he beating would increase my stress level not decrease it. You should just ask you Master if you could get a beating if you are feeling stressed ,i know a few subs who have done this.  Normal?  what is normal it is different in every relationship.

Matt's littleone 

(in reply to Pokahotass)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 8:00:03 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Punishment is something that i try to avoid from Sir. Sessions for funishment is a good thing, since i am a pain slut. When stress overtakes my life, there are many ways for me to release it, and pain is right up there on the top. Sir is great at helping me work through my stress, when he decides to have a session with me. I will not though provoke him into giving me punishment.

oceanwynds

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 8:55:26 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline 		~fr~

I have been thinking about the OP. It dawned on me, there was a time in my life when I had wanted to be punished. Not because I wanted to be bad, but because I felt as though I already was bad, even though I hadn‘t done anything wrong.
Maybe that is what she meant by wanting to be punished?
 
Kim
 
Ps *takes a bow for her fans and whispers to Red* “Thanks for fixing it”

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to Pokahotass)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 3:55:33 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sallamanda

I'm not yet in a Dom/sub relationship, however I can relate as when I'm feeling stressed, pressured, tense, etc, etc, I find if I have some waxing done I come out feeling much MUCH better. I find it cathartic. Now I wonder if a spanking would do the same thing? lol.


cathartic, yes
totally :)

(in reply to Sallamanda)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/19/2008 4:02:00 PM   
DarkAngyll


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BarbiE74

I keep trying to walk away from this LS for various reasons, but it is so in me that everytime I walk away I find myself slowly coming back.  Something I have found is when I am upset about something or stressed I find I want to be punished.... it seems to be a stress reliever for me.  Is this typical of a submissive? 


Don't try to walk away from it... just try to embrace it.

(in reply to BarbiE74)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/20/2008 1:50:19 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		hi, i wrote something earlier and my stupid pc did something wierd, so lets try again....,not sure if other people have said this since i last read the first posts, but i gotta scoot in a minute.

why do you have to consider it punishment -

i think that as kids growing up and all around us sociatally, though much less so now, we learnt to accept that spanking was a punishment - now as adults we are turning that around and it sometimes takes a bit of rethinking to do that.  (i wrote this better last time dammit)

spanking/a hiding can be loving, horny, cathartic, settling, reassuring, great fun, not fun or bloody miserable - it can be lots of things for lots of reasons and in fact the word punishment (for me personally and lots of others) is very negative as an act and a word.

i would step away from the word punishment personally.  you need settling and catharsis and as youve found out youre in the majority here

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/20/2008 7:10:34 AM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I think that's exactly what she means.
 




masochist


noun

someone who obtains pleasure from receiving punishment 

I'm a masochist.  While I may become sexually aroused from play, the pleasure obtained from punishment is entirely different.  This confuses people because punishment is not meant to be enjoyable.  I crave physical punishment at times.  It completes an emotional cycle for me.  I don't know how else to describe it.  If I don't receive physical punishment and then comforting, I tend to "beat myself up."  I'd rather take a beating and get it over with, if that makes any sense.
 
*whispers*  You're welcome!

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/20/2008 7:15:46 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69


I am very found of having my frustrations taken out on me.
 
Kim


I can sooooooo relate to that desire!
  Davan

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(in reply to cpK69)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/20/2008 2:17:42 PM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		nothing wrong with it...if you want to get a ass slap every so often, better for you!  I love to have my ass smacked a bit, it is a turn on most of the time.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/20/2008 5:47:50 PM   
sujuguete


Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline 		FR~

I agree with the others who differentiate between the punishment aspect and the just plain ol' pain play.  "Punishment" means I have done something that is unacceptable to my Dom (if I had one), and would not be desirable at all.  However, pain play can be a great stress reliever.  As others have put it in other threads, it's like hitting a "Reset" button.

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/20/2008 7:31:47 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I like the idea of the dominant "taking care of" my stress, worry, and frustration.  He knows which buttons to push to bring me back to center and in the peace and calm that he desires for me.  He doesn't want me wound up and tense.  He will bring that about in the ways that best suit us and our relationship.  Even with the most vicious of strikes, he is gently urging me to let it all go, let it all out.  It is a reminder of who knows best how to care for me.  That is the comfort and the endorphins are added help if he sees the need. 

I haven't gotten to be in this situation yet.  I also know this is how it would go for us.  We have not gotten to be with each other for some time now.  I have asked to be given instructions to induce pain for myself in his absence, but he wants it to come from his hands.  This is not only a power and control thing.  He wants to take care of it, whatever "it" may be.  I respect that position and know he is looking forward to this very process when we are together again.

Yes, it is normal to want a release through pain.  It is not necessarily punishment and it doesn't have to have any of the normal connotations for it to work it magic.  It does need to be handled in the best way to compliment your relationship and bring you back to that center and peace you and your partner likely most desire.

lovingpet

(in reply to sujuguete)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/21/2008 10:26:42 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

masochist


noun

someone who obtains pleasure from receiving punishment 

I'm a masochist.  While I may become sexually aroused from play, the pleasure obtained from punishment is entirely different.  This confuses people because punishment is not meant to be enjoyable.  I crave physical punishment at times.  It completes an emotional cycle for me.  I don't know how else to describe it.  If I don't receive physical punishment and then comforting, I tend to "beat myself up."  I'd rather take a beating and get it over with, if that makes any sense.
 



Really? So what you’re saying is, my Dom could be right in his assessment that I am a masochist? Lol (in not so many words, of course)
 
In that case, a question, if you don’t mind.
 
I mentioned before, I used to feel that way. I have managed to reassess that need so that it is no longer about feeling like I need to be punished; now it is about experiencing humility.
 
Also, I thought that masochists enjoyed pain; that’s not how it works for me. I enjoy having pain inflicted on me, but my favorite thing to do, is to turn it off. I also enjoy the sensation of vibration after the initial contact, but not pain it self.
 
In light of what I've just written, would you consider me a masochist?
 
Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/21/2008 3:21:28 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I enjoy light play the most but heavy impact when I'm stressed....and even punishment.  *smiles*  I totally understand what you're saying.  I always thought I was "odd" for not being able to process pain into pleasure.  I get some kind of perverse pleasure from doing things I don't necessarily like.  There are multiple definitions for masochism.
 




1.
Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.



2.
gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.



3.
the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.



4.
the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

I'm afraid that I have to agree with your dom.  You're definitely a masochist.  Is that such a bad thing?

< Message edited by FlamingRedhead -- 11/21/2008 3:26:28 PM >

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to cpK69)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/21/2008 5:28:28 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69


I am very found of having my frustrations taken out on me.
 
Kim


I simply love this, how you said it! :-P

(in reply to cpK69)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/21/2008 6:42:23 PM   
kristileigh


Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		Funny i should come across this post this evening.........just this morning Master had to give me my first real punishment spanking. I had been acting like a spoiled bitch since about last evening. He finally had enough. He did bring me back down. And He said that is what He will do in the future when i get like that.

(in reply to Pokahotass)
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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/21/2008 6:54:45 PM   
BarbiE74


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/8/2008
Status: offline 		 

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkAngyll

quote:

ORIGINAL: BarbiE74

I keep trying to walk away from this LS for various reasons, but it is so in me that everytime I walk away I find myself slowly coming back.  Something I have found is when I am upset about something or stressed I find I want to be punished.... it seems to be a stress reliever for me.  Is this typical of a submissive? 


Don't try to walk away from it... just try to embrace it.


I really wish I could embrace it....  but I keep coming across the same BS when I date a "Dom".  I'm trying to avoid the labels and find a strong man that will treat me as I wish to be but isn't necessarily in the LS.  We will see tho... 

(in reply to DarkAngyll)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/21/2008 6:57:56 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

I'm afraid that I have to agree with your dom.  You're definitely a masochist.  Is that such a bad thing?


A bad thing? Not at all.
 
I now have much to think about; another activity I find to be painful, but have a very hard time staying away from.
 
Thank you.
 
*waves at Davan and Whiplash*
 
Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/26/2008 1:17:53 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69


I am very found of having my frustrations taken out on me.
 
Kim


Couldn't have said it better myself.

I feel that way a great deal of the time actually, like because I am not living a perfect life or making good decisions, I need to have that corrective measure, I'm assuming that's why I'm a submissive/slave :)

I've even found that something as trivial as my favorite sports team losing a big game has me craving a beating or some other submissive yearning in a serious way.




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Strong for all, weak for one

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RE: Wanting punishment when upset normal? - 11/26/2008 1:28:59 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		It is the best stress reliever i know of!!

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(in reply to BarbiE74)
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