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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 10:53:43 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Low protocol. But we're a blended family. Various teens in and out of the place at all unexpected hours. So obviously we have to be laid back to be able to roll with the punches. Me kneeling naked by the door wouldn't work here.

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Post #: 21

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 10:56:26 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I am not big on rules/protocol. I have a few yes and he is to follow them and he does. So I guess I am a "medium" protocol Dominant. I have done high protocol in the past with a slave I owned for 9 years, it was too much micromanagement for me, it was more like a second full time job. Nope micromanagement is not for me.

~Lashra

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Post #: 22

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 12:11:23 PM

SlaveIndigochild

Posts: 272
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I like high protocol whenever it is possible / appropriate.
I need high protocol regularly and prefer in private (just Him and me) for it always to be there.

Context drives the level of protocol. For example: we have a very busy household and a great dealof my time is spent running the household, chores and looking after teens. Time alone together for Us is rare and i do so need protocol during those times as we do tend to 'pass' at other times.

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Post #: 23

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 12:23:36 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane
Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?

Mine obeys me. I'm good with that. Neither of us needs or desires the sort of surface control that protocol provides.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 24

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 12:37:57 PM

monywildcat

Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
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I guess "protocol" means different things for different people. We have some unspoken things in place. I don't need lots of rigid rules for my submissive side, or any side of me for that matter, to be fulfilling. Daddy doesn't need them either for him to know and feel that he's the leader of this outfit. (whee movie quote!) There are a few things that we do, just because. I never sleep in my bed when I am by myself, for example. Our relationship is very casual, very deep and very free-flowing. That's how we roll.

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Post #: 25

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 12:54:04 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Hello Sassy!

I have a question for those who have the varying degree of protocols as part of their dynamic:

Has having a varying scale of protocol caused concerns of inconsistency, where having this brings about a potential for setting an s-type or yes, even the dominant up for potential failure?
For those who prefer high protocol, are there times, indicators, or acceptable times when need and circumstance take higher priority to the protocol?
For those who prefer low protocol, does this change when in the presence of higher protocol situations?

My questions aren't meant in an adversarial manner, or in any way judgmental of one type or the other. I'm just curious how protocol dynamics tick...

WinD

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 26

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 1:02:04 PM

IAMChristine

Posts: 588
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Salt Lake City
Status: offline

ok trying this again.

i prefer casual, i'm not big on being micromanaged. the high protocol stuff gets to be robotic at times, just my opinion...your mileage may vary.

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Post #: 27

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 1:56:39 PM

MrHarsh

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

I find that some amount of protocol is enjoyable, possibly even essential, but I believe that there has to be a balance between protocol and reality. One cannot simply put up rules governing every single situation; the real world will get in your way eventually!

I strive for a handful of "essential protocols" that are not overly intrusive or demanding, along with a handful of "negotiated protocols" that are ... well, just agreed to. Beyond that everything is up for grabs.

I think the "up for grabs" part is essential, however. One needs a little variety to keep things from getting stale.

(in reply to IAMChristine)

Post #: 28

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 2:02:30 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Hello Sassy!

I have a question for those who have the varying degree of protocols as part of their dynamic:
Has having a varying scale of protocol caused concerns of inconsistency, where having this brings about a potential for setting an s-type or yes, even the dominant up for potential failure?

For those who prefer high protocol, are there times, indicators, or acceptable times when need and circumstance take higher priority to the protocol?
For those who prefer low protocol, does this change when in the presence of higher protocol situations?

My questions aren't meant in an adversarial manner, or in any way judgmental of one type or the other. I'm just curious how protocol dynamics tick...

WinD

In family situations and I'm not talking immediate. Say a get together for christmas things are a little more "relaxed". Things such as that. I think things are pretty relaxed anyway. It isn't rigid or overbearing to someone who enjoys it or for someone who gets happiness from what you get out of it. I'm just a casual person with a lot of rules.

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Post #: 29

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 2:06:36 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?

See i can see the word protocol as being a bit dusty. I do need specific guidelines to work best, i need to kno whats prefered and need to be told when im doing it wrong, i work best if im given a set of specifc things to remember rather than vagueness. Thats just because i dont see grey very well, i cant read between the lines. Its a pretty bad thing but oh well.

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Post #: 30

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 2:17:14 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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I prefer low protocol but that doesn't mean NO protocol. Certain ground rules are non-negotiable. For instance, sarcasm is always a no-no with me.

I also feel that rules, rituals, and protocols need to be instituted as needed--and not simply defined rigidly from the start. People are individuals, and they change, too. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another; for that matter, what worked for one person at one time doesn't necessarily work for that same person at a different point in his or her life.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 31

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 2:28:16 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

No protocols or rituals here... I'm a nilla kind of gal

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 32

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 3:47:45 PM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

i need realism, maturity and basic respect between parties. i have no need for pretension, and affecting mannerisms that are false to me diverts my energies away from the heart of the relationship i have with others,especially Andy, and in part my sister slave.

Yes, when we have a session we use honorifics, they add a certain frisson to the activities we indulge in, and in certain circumstances they might be used when in the company of like minded folk in the right environment, but for the most part we are relaxed and natural in our interactions with one another.

Basically we are just people who enjoy each others company 24/7, with the minimum of D/s mumbo jumbo. To know our places in the scheme of our lives we do not need much of the frippery.

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 33

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 3:49:58 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Hello Sassy!

I have a question for those who have the varying degree of protocols as part of their dynamic:

Has having a varying scale of protocol caused concerns of inconsistency, where having this brings about a potential for setting an s-type or yes, even the dominant up for potential failure?

For those who prefer high protocol, are there times, indicators, or acceptable times when need and circumstance take higher priority to the protocol?

For those who prefer low protocol, does this change when in the presence of higher protocol situations?

My questions aren't meant in an adversarial manner, or in any way judgmental of one type or the other. I'm just curious how protocol dynamics tick...

WinD

Hi WinD!

These are great questions. Wish I'd thought to ask them myself. Am curious to see what the replies are.

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Deviant Mind
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(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 34

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 4:00:06 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

To answer my own question and maybe to a degree, WinD's as well, what suits me best is somewhere in the middle. A very few small protocols or rituals or regular tasks that help me keep my focus on my place in the relationship and the freedom to do what I need to do as far as daily life and situations that arise. I need a certain balance to function at my best. High protcol would be fine in occasional small doses, but not as a steady, daily thing. Micromanagement is also something that would not work for me and seems to in ways go along with high protocol. It would stifle me to be micromanaged. Way too much restriction and suffocating. I know there are many who thrive in such an environment and I think that's great. I'm just not one of them and I have a lot of respect for those who do thrive in it.

I'm not currently in a D/s relationship, but I have found as I've experimented and grown and learned what seems to best suit me and my personality.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
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Post #: 35

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 4:09:21 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I need (not like) high protocol. Manners are a form of respect in my eyes. I am very respectful and expect to be treated the same.

I have not pursued beautiful and sexy women that wanted to be with me simply because I found their manners or lack of protocol unappealing.

I once met a girl that was so incredibly attractive, intelligent and passionate, I was willing to pay to pay someone else to pre-train her in protocol so we could find a tolerable starting point.

During my divorce, I reduced my settlement offer by $5,000.00 because she did not call me “Sir”. I pointed out that it felt rude to me and there was no reason she should treat me with sudden disrespect. Especially because I was being respectful and remained a constructive force in her life. Taking 5 grand off the plate proved exactly how constructive I was being. She was always a good girl and she is still in my life to this day. She just needed an attitude adjustment at the time.
My old online profiles used to say “Manners and passion are everything to me”. That still holds true to this day.

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Post #: 36

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 4:22:25 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

I need to know what His wants and desires are, along with His likes and dislikes and His expectations. But I don't need to be micromanaged. I'm a grown, mature, adult woman and some things (even though I'm a sub) I can figure out and handle on my own. Understated at times may work where at others a little more structure would work. Like Des said, me kneeling at the front door wouldn't work in my house, but it just might at His.

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Post #: 37

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 4:24:50 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

Question to all:

Do you equate high protocol with micromanagement? Do you feel they are the same or that one always goes with the other? Can you have high protocol without actually micromanaging?

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

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Post #: 38

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 4:30:39 PM

ODadEO

Posts: 44
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline

I agree with most of what I've read here -- sometimes I like to maintain a high degree of structure, but all the time it is just too much. Relaxing that to a certain extent makes it easier to live with. But I do like to keep some degree to keep it from getting too 'friendly' and lose all semblance of the D/s momentum.

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 39

RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 4:53:09 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

High protocal had its appeal to me at one....time...

It was alot of....work, was my experience...

It takes great strength...a huge exchange...between two to accomplish such dynamics...

Thats was my experience and it was on the so called *other side of the kneel*...I had never heard that term till I came here...

Ohhh...I am so....teachable...

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 40

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