RE: Sent to a trainer

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VirginPotty -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:07:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eri Out of 20 odd replies, only one dominant saw fit to actually answer the question without requiring "more information". Why does it matter that it would not work for -you- and yours? Are either of you in the relationship with Mamandslave? No ... Hmm, ok. Why does it matter what the training pertained to? What does any of that have to do with the question asked? Sheesh. I am not a Master but I have undergone training. It was a good experience. Given the opportunity, I would likely do so again. Obviously it isn't for everyone and thats fine. It doesn't have to be. It might be easier for you to deal with not having direct control over her during this time by imagining all the fun skills she will develop and of course, come home with. I don't think anyone's out of line for asking for "more info". The OP was very vague and since he did post on a public forum we're assuming (or at least I am) he wanted comments/or feedback & to do that more info is definitely needed in order to provide the proper feedback.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:16:01 AM)
I actually do have a question, and its serious, I would be interested in knowing. What's the psychology behind hiding what she was doing in your OP, but yet the 'finished material' is going to be publicly accessible on a site that a lot of the members here frequent? Eventually the truth would have been known, one way or another. Just curious as to why you took this approach to it. [sm=confused.gif]

ModeratorSixteen -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:18:54 AM)
Calm down people and stick to the OP.

Stephann -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:22:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justgemmie greetings Stephann, welcome back. sorry to hear about the long hours ~ i hope the money was good [;)] nice answer to the OP btw. perhaps i can't understand it from the other side of the slash, but i must admit being pretty shocked at there being a problem being away from a slave for 4 days. well wishes, gemmie Hi gemmie, No, the money isn't good at all yet; it'll be a few months before the work pays off. See, the issue being addressed by MAM isn't related to his slave being away for four days. I'm sending charlotte to visit her family over Thanksgiving while I stay in LA to work. I'll certainly miss her; we spend a great deal of time together, normally. What MAM is addressing, is how not only do you miss your partner/slave/pet/whatever but you miss her with the knowledge that she's spending four days off being poked, prodded, slapped, beaten, whipped, brutalized, and fucked only half an hour away (in his case) and at that point, there's very little you can do about it at that point. It's a similar sense of helplessness a parent feels when sending their first child off on their first day of school; it might be a great school, with an excellent reputation, but that's still your child. When charlotte went for her shoot, I had to confront feelings of fear of inadequacy; sure I think I'm a good dominant and top, but she'd be working with some of the best in the business. Would she come home and find what we do bland? Would she pine for something I'm not skilled enough to offer her? Intellectually I didn't think so, but there's always a risk associated with allowing your partner to explore with other people on both sides of the whip. Hi BRNaughtyAngel, I'd have been there in a heartbeat. I was on set for the first three shoots charlotte was in (literally; I helped with lighting in her first shoot, and did photography in her second.) Kink related shoots (kink.com, twistedfactory.com, etc) are notorious for being closed shoots, for several good reasons. Sets are complicated enough, and often times letting the talent bring 'guests' ends up with those guests being a pain in the ass. A 'boyfriend' making sure she's alright strutting on set, and making it clear his girl won't do X, Y, or Z, cuz HE's the one in charge doesn't make for a very good shot. Lynnxz, Thanks for your comments. The truth is, in our relationship, charlotte going into modeling stemmed from our original kink of me sending her to strip clubs to dance. It wasn't about the money (her first time on stage dancing, she made only one dollar; there was only one guy at the top rail) but rather a mutual kink we had to expose her in a (relatively) safe manner where she can be objectified, without actually being hurt. I had no idea it was so complicated becoming a part time stripper in Southern California; she was told she'd have to dance four nights a week minimum, and that her 'boyfriend' couldn't visit. Her modeling profession is just that; it's what she does for a living. I encouraged her to make that change, just as I could have encouraged her to quit her job and become a ballet dancer, sushi chef, or actress. koolaid, you really don't get it. His post wasn't a lie; he doesn't owe you any information. Hell, he didn't ask for your input to begin with; his text clearly said "Have any other masters had this sort of experience and what was your reaction to it." You're neither a master, nor have you sent anyone to be trained. He said he placed his slave in the care of a trainer; that's exactly what he did, the same trainer I placed my slave in the care of. You haven't got a clue how fetish modeling works and don't care to learn; that's fine. Why are you posting more than any other poster on this thread? Do you really have nothing better to do with your time? Do you really think the world owes you a living? Stephan

persephonee -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:37:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann mystickoolaid, Thank you kindly for your contribution. Your vast knowledge of relationship dynamics and the adult entertainment industry was truly dazzling to absorb, and have left me rueful of the decision I made to permit and encourage my slave's choice to abandon her accounting job. Truth be told, I was a little confused as to why there was such a resounding chorus of focus on why she was gone. quote: I understand that by placing her in the care of the trainer I in a way in control, and that I had the final say in allowing this training, none the less, dealing with the lack of direct control is difficult. Have any other masters had this sort of experience and what was your reaction to it. The original post didn't ask anyone's opinion on if he should have sent his slave to be trained; rather it was the frustration associated with a dominant who chooses to permit his/her slave to serve another for a few days. That it was for a kink.com shoot might give context, but like MAM, I'm open to having my slave serve others on occasion. I understand there's an extremely vocal group here on CM who proudly proclaim that they're submissive to only one person and/or never allow others to assert authority over their partner; more power to em; why bother chiming in yet again to remind the world how special you are? Stephan *To me....(why the hell is my font all fd up??...manalive Stephan...You must be a twue Dominant to be able to dom my computer from where you are...[:D]).... ill try to whisper.... in response to your comment about the ones who are proud of being only submissive to one....its just another form of one true wayism...and its become like background noise to me...im not a pro...nor ever will be...but im open to what others experience and try not to judge anyone based on the dynamics that they set for themselves....whatever floats anyones boat is all good with this girl...wish the same could be extended and sometimes it is....depends on the day. a good friend of mine is a BDSM model and does some limited video shoots and whatever training and experience she has gotten from this....what i see is when she plays in public, her scenes are pretty to watch...great facial expressions, breathing...submissive posing.... My scenes are more of the writhing in pain, crying, hair all fucked up, sweating, puffing variety...i wish i could introduce more artistic flair...however i was just redirected last week when i mentioned that she plays prettier than i with the same tops....i was told...."do you want to be pretty, or do you want to be scened...if I hit you the way I hit her, you would yawn"...and thats not to say this girl cant take a hit...she can and does...but i was jealous of the way she comes out afterward....upon looking at what my goal is in my play...i am grateful to have such competent tops who know how to deliver what i need and still get what they desire out of it as well.... sbumissive disclaimer... im only referring to public play/scenes. i am fully capable of actual submission in private...but when i play at the dungeon, its recreational and i reserve the right to play AND get what i need out of that scene.... And im only talking about myself...not passing judgement of any sort.... and i need to end this now, the font is killing me....[:D] peace and play perse**

roughleather -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:49:24 AM)
OK, someone sent their sub off to do Kink.com's "Training of O" thing. This takes four days (it's actually two two-day sessions, with a one-day break), and it's a paid job. Kink's actual terms are: http://www.kink.com/php/modelt/?action=show&view=4 "Female Subs $5000 for 5 days (4 shooting days plus 1 rest day) involving b/g/a, b/g with anal toys, and b/g $4600 no anal This is a rough experience for anybody. This isn't light bondage. It's brutal. It all goes out on streaming HDTV, so she's now known as a porno actress. And it doesn't even pay that well. Depends on how she comes out of it. If she comes back fiercely proud that she got through it, it was probably OK. If she comes back broken and disgusted with herself, you abused her. Either way, when she gets back, she's earned a weekend at a good spa with plenty of pampering.

sirsholly -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 9:53:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL:roughleather Depends on how she comes out of it. If she comes back fiercely proud that she got through it, it was probably OK. If she comes back broken and disgusted with herself, you abused her. why do i feel a sudden urge to bellow "INCOMING!" and run to the nearest foxhole?

RainydayNE -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:22:06 AM)
nvm =p

Stephann -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:30:06 AM)
Hi persephonee, real quick, if you click 'edit' on your post (if you still can, you can only edit your post up to an hour after posting) you can highlight all of your text, click the 'font face' box above, click 'Times New Roman' in the box that drops down, and then click the little 'B' directly below the box. It'll make your font go back to normal. See, I'm totally fine with people who don't like to share their partners with others. I think that's generally the rule, not the exception, and when people are doing it from a healthy, loving perspective, all I can say is bravo! Unfortunately, the moment a thread starts here on CM where someone says "I'm sharing my partner and I'm having some frustration" there's a whole bandwagon that rolls out with fanfare, noisemakers, sirens, and bullhorns loudly proclaiming how THEY don't share their partners, so THEY never have to deal with such ignominy. Inevitably, the thread becomes a referendum on the virtues and vices of monogamy verses open relationships, with the original question obliterated in a shit-storm of self-righteousness. roughleather, I can't agree that the end justifies or vilifies the act. If I gently tap my slave with a feather duster, and she has an allergic reaction to something in the dust, has a heart attack, and dies, it wouldn't be fair to say I abused her. I've had a few months to get to know MAM and his girl, and I can confidently say that there's no abuse here. She's done similar shoots in the past and has always enjoyed them; there's no reason to believe she isn't enjoying this one. Again, when did this issue go from a dominant struggling with his own feelings, to how badly his slave needs to be coddled? Stephan

LaTigresse -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:40:14 AM)
Stephan, that might be why Holly thought of the "INCOMING!". I could be wrong.[:D]

CalifChick -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:42:35 AM)
Stephan, or someone else who has real experience with this, please educate me. I'm confused (and no, I'm not being snarky, I'm being serious). Other than having to do kinky things, how is this different from any other type of video/modeling shoot? The phrase "I sent my girl to a trainer" (paraphrased, because I'm too lazy to go back and look at the exact words) to me, means that you sent someone to learn something specific. How do those two things (a fetish shoot and going to learn something) come together? Or is it that the person in charge of the shoot just so happens to be a trainer? Cali

Stephann -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:43:17 AM)
Oh, I know LaT; I thought I was pretty gentle with that one! Hi Cali, To be honest, I think MAM was trying to ask about his frustrations, without explicitly addressing the "I'm sending my slave to do a porn shoot" topic. With good reason; the vast majority of this thread has been an evaluation of the vice and virtues of BDSM porn. The title used by James (the fellow who directs the shoot) is, in fact, trainer. Before charlotte did the shoot, James asked both of us to write a detailed explanation of what we thought were charlotte's strong and weak points, and any specific goals we had for her (sexual and non-sexual.) Almost to the letter, those goals were implemented in the shoot; you can see that list HERE. (Considering kink.com is one of the major advertisers for Collarme, I don't think it'll be a huge issue to post that.) We could have simply said "yeah, she likes to be spanked and flogged" but the best way to create a training shoot, is to approach the shoot with the intention of actual training. James is an excellent top, and I wasn't the least concerned that she'd be harmed or pushed too hard. Sure enough, even though she was locked in a suspended cage and zapped with a cattle prod, she never felt she was in any real danger. In short, the best way to create a 'shoot' of slave training, is to do actual slave training. Obviously, it's not (nor could it ethically or legally) be to the degree of Story of O, but that doesn't mean it's fake. When charlotte came home, she was dreamy and said she wanted to do it again; in fact, she and Princess Donna hatched some plan to have kink.com 'buy' charlotte for a month, and keep her as a house slave in the armory. That might happen yet. I hope that sheds some light on the issue. The point is, that charlotte & I enjoy incorporating D/s and BDSM in our daily lives to a somewhat higher degree than is typical. Charlotte shooting TTOO was very much her being paid to do something she would have done for free. Regards, Stephan

sirsholly -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:47:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Oh, I know LaT; I thought I was pretty gentle with that one! hardly worth the dive into the foxhole! but well said...

LaTigresse -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 10:52:06 AM)
There's always room for improvement. We haven't seen all potential parties contribute yet. Me, I am working very hard to behave. Annnnnnnnnnd, to stay on topic, ahem. I don't think any slave that serves, goes through training, regardless..... gets an auto pass to a spa to recover. Maybe as a reward, if the M so desires. I do get the struggle that the OP and Stephan have mentioned. That whole "what if" tickle of insecurity that might rear it's ugly head. I think that is where trust and lots of communication of all parties, is necessary.

justgemmie -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 11:01:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Hi gemmie, No, the money isn't good at all yet; it'll be a few months before the work pays off. See, the issue being addressed by MAM isn't related to his slave being away for four days. I'm sending charlotte to visit her family over Thanksgiving while I stay in LA to work. I'll certainly miss her; we spend a great deal of time together, normally. What MAM is addressing, is how not only do you miss your partner/slave/pet/whatever but you miss her with the knowledge that she's spending four days off being poked, prodded, slapped, beaten, whipped, brutalized, and fucked only half an hour away (in his case) and at that point, there's very little you can do about it at that point. It's a similar sense of helplessness a parent feels when sending their first child off on their first day of school; it might be a great school, with an excellent reputation, but that's still your child. When charlotte went for her shoot, I had to confront feelings of fear of inadequacy; sure I think I'm a good dominant and top, but she'd be working with some of the best in the business. Would she come home and find what we do bland? Would she pine for something I'm not skilled enough to offer her? Intellectually I didn't think so, but there's always a risk associated with allowing your partner to explore with other people on both sides of the whip. Stephan greetings again Stephan, and i do hope things in the work areas turn out to be all You wish and more :) and thank You for answering my question. i read the OP again and it seems that i lost the original question in reading all the posts. You were right that it wasn't about missing her, but about not being in control while another was with her "training" her. my apologies to the OP and Eeveryone here for misreading then posting inappropriately. thanks. well wishes, gemmie

Stephann -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 11:02:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I do get the struggle that the OP and Stephan have mentioned. That whole "what if" tickle of insecurity that might rear it's ugly head. I think that is where trust and lots of communication of all parties, is necessary. Hiya LaT, Bingo. That's exactly what the problem is; I never had a chance to actually meet James, I had to rely on his (and kink.com's) reputation. Sure, there's hundreds of hours of his work on the net, but it's always different when it happens to your slave. charlotte and I talk all of the time, but when she was shooting TTOO, it wasn't like she could just whip her phone out in the middle of a flogging, and say "Master, I'm not sure this was a good idea..." I had to either choose to trust she'd be safe, or choose not to allow her to do the shoot. Ultimately, we're both glad that she did. Stephan

charlotteS -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 11:02:51 AM)
Hi Cali, I think Master is responding as I write this and since he is likely to make more sense than me, I will be brief. Since I was actually in the shoot I thought I would offer a quick perspective. The man in charge of the shoot is a very experienced Dominant man. He has a collared submissive in real life (actually she earned the collar on one of the shoots.) He and the crew work hard to make sure that the shoot is as real of an experience as it can be working around the fact that is is also a porn shoot. He talked with me before I came about what I might like to work on, what I enjoy about BDSM and anything else I might think he needs to know. One of the goals I said I wanted to work on was relaxing during a scene so I could take more pain. As we were getting ready on the second day I think I mentioned that I had never done a suspension. He is a really good rigger so the next day he did my first suspension. It was really tight before he even got me up in the air. By the time I was up there I was focusing on not passing out (he reassured me that they knew what to do if I got faint) he then proceeded to single tail me which I had also never done and barely even felt till the last one that left a mark for a while. I started to freak out and they calmed me down and got me down. To this day I still think of that scene when I am trying to breath through something, relax and give into the scene. I would have done that with him even if I wasn't getting paid and it helped me immensely. Sure there was a camera running, but it documented a real experience that was skillfully created by someone who was focused on who I was and what I had communicated earlier. I don't mean to sound too defensive. I think you would have to watch some of the videos with the girls that really want to be there to truly understand. This is the best shoot I've ever done in all of the 40 or so shoots I've done this year. The members on the site are very clear that they enjoy TTOO because it is focused on D/s much more than any of the others. He (the "trainer") genuinely cares that you have a good time and has enough of that dominant presence plus skill to make it as much of a real scene as it can be. Ok, well that wasn't so brief but I hope it helped.

justgemmie -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 11:05:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee My scenes are more of the writhing in pain, crying, hair all fucked up, sweating, puffing variety... peace and play perse ooooooooooohhhhhhhh perse, can i watch? this sounds hawt!!! [;)] gemmie PS Generally - some Ffriends of mine belong to the Training of O site and while i was visiting i watched a LOT of the videos. they were amazing, mezmerizing, hawt and, all the time i watched it i kept thinking "i'd love to try that!" "oooooouch i don't know if i could do that" "wow! is that how an asshook is used?" etc.etc. porn it may be, but it was also a Great learning tool for the Ccouple i watched them with, and i got lots of ideas of things i might like to try or were afraid of or whatever. the Dominant in charge is just the best and, well, i give it 2 thumbs up!!!

persephonee -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 12:25:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justgemmie quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee My scenes are more of the writhing in pain, crying, hair all fucked up, sweating, puffing variety... peace and play perse ooooooooooohhhhhhhh perse, can i watch? this sounds hawt!!! [;)] gemmie PS Generally - some Ffriends of mine belong to the Training of O site and while i was visiting i watched a LOT of the videos. they were amazing, mezmerizing, hawt and, all the time i watched it i kept thinking "i'd love to try that!" "oooooouch i don't know if i could do that" "wow! is that how an asshook is used?" etc.etc. porn it may be, but it was also a Great learning tool for the Ccouple i watched them with, and i got lots of ideas of things i might like to try or were afraid of or whatever. the Dominant in charge is just the best and, well, i give it 2 thumbs up!!! Course ya can...come on down...more the merrier!

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 12:50:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Hi BRNaughtyAngel, I'd have been there in a heartbeat. I was on set for the first three shoots charlotte was in (literally; I helped with lighting in her first shoot, and did photography in her second.) Kink related shoots (kink.com, twistedfactory.com, etc) are notorious for being closed shoots, for several good reasons. Sets are complicated enough, and often times letting the talent bring 'guests' ends up with those guests being a pain in the ass. A 'boyfriend' making sure she's alright strutting on set, and making it clear his girl won't do X, Y, or Z, cuz HE's the one in charge doesn't make for a very good shot. Stephan Thank you for responding Stephan. That is what I kinda figured, but thought I'd ask. [;)] Based on what you and the beautiful Miss Charlotte have posted, this was obviously a well thought out and enjoyable experience, so that's what counts. The only kink.com site I've ever joined was sexandsubmission.com and I loved the videos on there. That Mark Davis makes my wittle heart go pitty pat and my naughty bits wet! [:)]

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