RE: Sent to a trainer

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mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 5:29:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann mystickoolaid, Thank you kindly for your contribution. Your vast knowledge of relationship dynamics and the adult entertainment industry was truly dazzling to absorb, and have left me rueful of the decision I made to permit and encourage my slave's choice to abandon her accounting job. Truth be told, I was a little confused as to why there was such a resounding chorus of focus on why she was gone. quote: I understand that by placing her in the care of the trainer I in a way in control, and that I had the final say in allowing this training, none the less, dealing with the lack of direct control is difficult. Have any other masters had this sort of experience and what was your reaction to it. The original post didn't ask anyone's opinion on if he should have sent his slave to be trained; rather it was the frustration associated with a dominant who chooses to permit his/her slave to serve another for a few days. That it was for a kink.com shoot might give context, but like MAM, I'm open to having my slave serve others on occasion. I understand there's an extremely vocal group here on CM who proudly proclaim that they're submissive to only one person and/or never allow others to assert authority over their partner; more power to em; why bother chiming in yet again to remind the world how special you are? Stephan It boils down to the fact that the entire post was a lie. He could have said "If you were away from your pet for 4 days, would you miss her?" and asked his REAL question without having to lie or try to hide the truth or even hint at what was REALLY going on if he wanted.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 5:32:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babygirlkitten quote: So you are basically pimping your slave out as a porn star. As a former (somewhat bad at it) sub, I would be offended and hurt if my Master did this to me. Sex for money, or kink for money shouldn't be part of the agreement, IMHO. Actually, it sounded like her submissive was doing BDSM modeling on her own accord, so she's not actually pimping anyone out, it was the submissive's choice to enter the field. Yeah, that came out later on, when even the 'sending her away' part was discovered to be a lie. He was pretending to have some control in this situation, and I didn't catch on to the reality of it.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 5:34:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag As for all the other "observations" that have been made... just keep in mind this "community" can be very judgemental (which I think a blind man could see at this point) and its supposed tolerance and acceptance is largely a myth. The nice thing about being online is you can always just block those who annoy you when it becomes too much to deal with. In other words, don't let other peoples attitudes or narrowmindedness bring you down. Focus on your life, your situation... that's what's real... everything else on here is all just 1's and 0's in the end. We do not matter. I can't stand to be lied to, even on some meaningless forum on the internet. I don't care if she goes and shoots a gang bang porn while he sits at home and cries and wanks, but Christ, let's call a spade a spade here. edited to add: that's the POINT. We can only go on what we are told, and the entire original post was a boldfaced lie.

thetammyjo -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 6:31:29 AM)
Not sending someone to training but I did once train another dom's sub. They were married and literally courted me to persuade me to train him many years ago. He seemed like a nice guy and she seemed 'too busy' in some ways. I did train him and as I warned it might happen, she didn't get back this perfect slave who'd do anything but instead a man who was more aware of his limits and desires and had learned how to express those. The last I heard from them, a bit more than a year ago I think, they were doing great. I think his learning to stand up for himself more made his submission to her more empowering for them both.

justgemmie -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 6:38:21 AM)
greetings Stephann, welcome back. sorry to hear about the long hours ~ i hope the money was good [;)] nice answer to the OP btw. perhaps i can't understand it from the other side of the slash, but i must admit being pretty shocked at there being a problem being away from a slave for 4 days. well wishes, gemmie

justgemmie -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 6:42:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BKSir quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz quote: ORIGINAL: justgemmie quote: ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave It is a 4 days of training meeting the goals set forth in the beginning. The obeject is of course to document a training process on video. But for it to be realalistic, it is best if it is real. written before i finished all the posts ~~ "this sounds very very much like the "O" training that is a commercial on collarme all the time. i've seen a bunch of their "training" vids. very hawt, great bdsm wanking material, but hardly what i would consider real training." written at the same time but emphasized here ~~ *You started this thread over missing a slave for 4 days??? jesus, who's in control here?* gemmie Well that's not nice... you are allowed to miss people you are in a deep relationship with, yes? To mystic, if it's her first video shoot, the sub is bound to be nervous in the first place, and it's probably going to make her owner nervous as well. I know C was nervous for me, just because I was so worked up for my shoot. The just a "BDSM prop/slut" was a little harsh. O.o I'm not a fricking prop, I'm a fetish model, even though I stay away from video for the most part now. No doubt! God, I miss my Dear One if he's gone for a couple hours. Why wouldn't I miss my pet? I mean, yes, there should be a bit of detachment between Master and Pet, I think, but damn... not missing someone? I'd be pissed if I went away for four days and nobody missed me. Hell, I'd probably end up telling all of them to go f*** themselves and precisely HOW to do so. i never said He couldn't miss her; i'd be disappointed and hurt if Dauntless didn't miss me, and yes, i miss Him when He's away. His job often takes Him away for 2-3 weeks at at time. i just don't understand having to start a thread on how to deal with missing your partner when the time is 4 days. i'm sorry, i'm not trying to be mean, but we're adults here, we have to ask how to be away from someone for a short period of time? i think it's strange. gemmie

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 6:47:52 AM)
[/quote] i never said He couldn't miss her; i'd be disappointed if Dauntless didn't miss me, and yes, i miss Him when He's away. His job often takes Him away for 2-3 weeks at at time. i just don't understand having to start a thread on how to deal with missing your partner when the time is 4 days. i'm sorry, i'm not trying to be mean, but we're adults here, we have to ask how to be away from someone for a short period of time? i think it's strange. gemmie [/quote] I agree with you here, I think it's reasonable to miss your sub/significant other/anyone close to your heart when they are away. But starting a thread about a 4 day absence is a bit odd. Especially when it was disguised as something completely different than the truth. IE; opinions about sending subs for training vs. her choosing to go make an adult film and missing her for the 4 days...? I'm a bit lost as to the actual point of the thing anymore.

CelticPrince -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 7:02:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave I have recently had the opportunity to send my girl to a trainer as part of her work. It has been somewhat strange for me to be out of direct control of my girl. I understand that by placing her in the care of the trainer I in a way in control, and that I had the final say in allowing this training, none the less, dealing with the lack of direct control is difficult. Have any other masters had this sort of experience and what was your reaction to it. MAM, I am going to say this as "soft" as possible! If you count yourself as a master ans then send her away to be trained, I suggest you turn in your Master's card and attend Dominant101 classes. CP

LaTigresse -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 7:11:41 AM)
I'm thinking your coming in a little late in the game for that bit of advice.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 7:12:08 AM)
Can I just poke my head in here and ask a quick curiosity question of MAM and Stephan? If either of you had wanted to go with your slaves and be present for their shoots, would that have been allowed? And would either of you been interested in doing that?

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 7:12:11 AM)
The only requirement for him to be a "real" master is to have someone who accepts his dominion... if he's got that, nobody here has room to judge. Oh, and if they consider what she's doing to be training, then its training -- everyone else's opinions on the subject, either for or against, are about worth the paper they're printed on.

Lynnxz -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 7:42:13 AM)
[8\|] Perhaps he didn't want to say that his girl was up at Kink, because he feels that some people on this board can be strangely rude and hypocrital when they find out money is involved with anything bdsm related. People are never as open minded as they think they are. As for the people saying he has no control over her... I'm not sure where you got that statement at all. Do you mean to say that a REAL TWUE dom cannot own a fetish model? Or perhaps he should have forbid her to go to the shoot, because twue subs don't get nekkid on camera? I'm not following the logic here at all. So what if she fills out the forms for the websites herself? It's a hell of a lot cheaper that getting an agent. You fill out a short form, send in a few pix, and they give you a call if they are interested. I see no lack of submission here at all. I do wish do retract my previous "fluffy" statement, I have been chatting, and it seems that TTOO shoots are quite a bit more fun than the one's I have done, sorry about that. BR, I doubt they would have let him on the set, it's kind of a commmon annoyance of photographers when girls bring their SO onto the set of the shoot.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:09:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eri Out of 20 odd replies, only one dominant saw fit to actually answer the question without requiring "more information". Why does it matter that it would not work for -you- and yours? Are either of you in the relationship with Mamandslave? No ... Hmm, ok. Why does it matter what the training pertained to? What does any of that have to do with the question asked? Sheesh. Simple...it matters because she asked for others' opinions and whether or not any other dominants had sent their submissives out for training and what the results had been. So I gave my opinion and I told her of my experiences with submissives trained by others and what the results had been. As for the "why does it matter what the training pertained to?" As I stated, as Michael states, as mystickoolaid states...there is nothing in the realm of sexuality that I enjoy that I need to have someone else teach for me. They (the trainer) enjoy what they enjoy and I enjoy what I enjoy...who better to train the submissive in that manner...me or someone that they will not be with any longer than the "training period"? I am not a Master but I have undergone training. It was a good experience. Given the opportunity, I would likely do so again. Obviously it isn't for everyone and thats fine. It doesn't have to be. It might be easier for you to deal with not having direct control over her during this time by imagining all the fun skills she will develop and of course, come home with. Depending on the skills, I might. But there again, in some ways I might be like Calla...them being taught skills like how to properly serve me and guests at a dinner party, how to handle the protocol of dealing with several dominants along with your owner when dealing with a group of them, and other skills that serve me in a non-sexual manner is...oddly enough...not the sort of skills that most "trainers" want to "teach" your submissive.

Lynnxz -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:12:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid Just stop, before you have the whole board pointing out how you are rude, unsophisticated, try to sound intelligent and misusing half your words, and are very obviously wasting space on the board insulting and arguing with me. Thanks. No... pretty sure you are the one being rude here. ... quote: just being used as a bdsm prop/slut in some porn Rude, kinda rubbed me the wrong way as well. quote: He was pretending to have some control in this situation How do you know he doesn't have control? quote: I don't care if she goes and shoots a gang bang porn while he sits at home and cries and wanks, but Christ, let's call a spade a spade here. Wtf? Don't rub your morals all over everyone, you don't even make an attempt to hide your contempt for the both of them. Was the OP kind of vague? Yes, I was nosy about it too, but he was obviously just trying not to throw all of her info out there for everyone. On another note, stop blaming your attitude problems on 'pain'. If you can't control yourself, perhaps you should turn the computer off.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:23:13 AM)
I'm not here to argue or get in a bitch fight.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:26:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz quote: He was pretending to have some control in this situation How do you know he doesn't have control? He didn't SEND her anywhere. She applied, and decided to do it on her own. Thats what I meant. I think you took it wrong. He even said her job stuff she does on her own.

LaTigresse -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:46:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid I'm not here to argue or get in a bitch fight. Edited to add: if you can't handle someone having their own opinions on things, without insulting them when you don't even know them (I called out a very obvious LIE, which is different than having an opinion, by the way) then you don't belong here with the adults. Go sit at the kids table. I'll throw ya a turkey leg or something. What a treasure. I believe it is obvious to all, who is being rude and childish. Well maybe not all. I am quite certain you are not seeing what most of us are. As for the OP, you will find that a greater percentile of the people here are quite adept at ferreting out bullshit. Your original post was obvious in it's attempt at leaving out some pertinent info. At least pertinent to some. It might be more productive to lay out all of the facts if you wish your thread to focus on your intent rather than have it get side tracked trying to understand the details. To answer the initial question. I do miss people I care about, when they are away from me. However, I have never, nor do I intend to send one of mine off to a "trainer". I will not say that I would not have her do something of the nature that you are defining as a "trainer", though I've not done it in the past. Having a girl serve or participate in something like that is a rather hot idea. But if I should, I would call it what it is, making a BDSM porn movie, not training.

camille65 -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:49:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid I'm not here to argue or get in a bitch fight. Edited to add: if you can't handle someone having their own opinions on things, without insulting them when you don't even know them (I called out a very obvious LIE, which is different than having an opinion, by the way) then you don't belong here with the adults. Go sit at the kids table. I'll throw ya a turkey leg or something. Yet you suggested (in another thread) that a woman go to the ER and lie that she was raped so she could receive an OB/GYN exam. How can you so readily partition lies?

mystickoolaid -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:52:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid I'm not here to argue or get in a bitch fight. Edited to add: if you can't handle someone having their own opinions on things, without insulting them when you don't even know them (I called out a very obvious LIE, which is different than having an opinion, by the way) then you don't belong here with the adults. Go sit at the kids table. I'll throw ya a turkey leg or something. Yet you suggested (in another thread) that a woman go to the ER and lie that she was raped so she could receive an OB/GYN exam. How can you so readily partition lies? First of all, I took that back, second of all, it clearly states I don't condone lying. I have a problem with the medical field in general. The hypocratic oath means nothing. None of this has anything to do with the original post whatsoever. I'm going to shut up now unless someone wants to take the childish poop flinging to a private message. We're dirtying up the message board.

thishereboi -> RE: Sent to a trainer (11/20/2008 8:57:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid I'm not here to argue or get in a bitch fight. Edited to add: if you can't handle someone having their own opinions on things, without insulting them when you don't even know them (I called out a very obvious LIE, which is different than having an opinion, by the way) then you don't belong here with the adults. Go sit at the kids table. I'll throw ya a turkey leg or something. While I will admit that the other post to you was rude, your not making any points by going on and on about it. In fact after reading your responses, I really wish I hadn't said anything. Your as bad if not worse.

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