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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 9:23:43 AM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

no dirty dishes sitting in the sink EVER.

Lol, this one just drives me nuts!

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 9:34:54 AM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

Each household/relationship is going to have certain "must do/haves" that will need to be fulfilled at some point for the relationship to go forward.

So what are your "must haves" ?

What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?

What do you do if the person/prospective partner you are speaking with gets so hung up on the one or two must haves to the point where that is all they discuss?

What an excellent question. Styles and tastes and directives vary, but one thing I feel a house cannot have is lack of structure and protocol. Letting a bunch of people simply live with you without clear lines of expected rules and behavior will in time melt everything into ordinary domestic chaos. It takes initiative, maturity and discipline from the dominant party to keep the machine running smoothly and not passively send mixed and confusing signals. Structure is something I advocate not living without for too long.

As for more personal must-haves of the submissive party, I suppose it benefits the dominant party to understand why they are must-haves, and plant / burn as they see fit. If there is too much dissonance in vision, it's obvious both parties are not quite on the same page yet.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 10:01:14 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

...What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?...

speaking retrospectively, this slave held the following as things she would not consider doing when entering into a Master/slave relationship:

premature death
incarceration
incest

thankfully, Master wasn't interested in those things either, and this slave merely had to be willing to accept HIS rules.

some of those rules this slave had to consider and agree to are:

Limited family contact
Job/career limitations
No control over finances
Relocation
Food/Drink restrictions
Speech restrictions
Clothing restrictions
Public exposure
24/7 Personal Service to the Owner, or whoever he/she designates
24/7 Sexual Service to the Owner, or whoever he/she designates
Body Modification
Daily work tasks
Fulfillment of the Owner's fantasies
No Limits
No Safe-word
No time limit

quote:

So what are your "must haves" ?

apparently, what has made for a successfull intimate relationship partner, as far as this slave is concerned, has been a dominant, sadistic partner with confidence, integrity, intelligence and a sense of humor.

not someone who chooses the role of dominant within the context of an intimate relationship, but someone with an inherently dominant personality that spills out in every aspect of their life...someone who oozes it, relishes it, celebrates it and with the utmost confidence successfully navigates their life by tapping it as not only a valuable resource, but also as a source of pleasure and satisfaction.

someone who has no interest in and refuses to "settle" for a conventional relationship.

someone who knows what they want and with the exception of determining compatibility, could give a flying fuck if anyone else likes it, labels themselves the same way, considers them crazy for it...or not.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 10:54:00 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

I thought about putting this in the live in requirements thread, then i changed my mind and started a thread of my own.

Each household/relationship is going to have certain "must do/haves" that will need to be fulfilled at some point for the relationship to go forward.

I am not talking about the emotional needs like love, honor, trust but rather about the day to day or long term living arrangements.

For example; you agree to try a relationship with the understanding that if it works out you must get a job and contribute to the household finances.

Or, as in our situation, if you are a sub at some point you are going to have to move in and quit working.

So what are your "must haves" ?

What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?

What do you do if the person/prospective partner you are speaking with gets so hung up on the one or two must haves to the point where that is all they discuss?

twice,

to be brief,

Tranquility through recognition of the dominants power!

CP

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 11:43:01 AM

akisha

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~FR~

When Master and I were discussing living together I had the following "have to haves"

1. He had to have a full time job. I can not afford a pet. I didn't care if he was making $40/hr or if he was making $15/hr as long as he worked and contributed to the household.

2. If we live together then we are a family which means he fully interacts with my child. Means he's as much in charge of disiplining her and cuddling her and all the other fun parent stuff as I am. None of this "She's your kid not mine" bullshit.

Other then that I was the standard, honesty, fidelity stuff.

Oh ya and no gaming. I will never ever get involved with a gamer again. (online games, RPG's, PSP stuff etc.) I admit when i was alot younger I used to game but I started so that my bf and I actually did something together. But I figure if spending 5 - 10 hours a day on a damn game is more important then your family then I'm not interested in being involved.

Only things I refused to give up were my daughter and my career.

< Message edited by akisha -- 11/21/2008 11:52:41 AM >

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 12:06:06 PM

bound4more

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quote:

So what are your "must haves" ?

What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?

What do you do if the person/prospective partner you are speaking with gets so hung up on the one or two must haves to the point where that is all they discuss?

Well I did have a few "must haves" before agreeing to live with Master - and since our idea of slavery is NOT - me Master with all rights and you slave with no rights - he was willing to grant them. One is living in a house - not an apartment or condo, but an honest to goodness house. I was already living in one and was not willing to change that. I'd have preferred staying where I was if he didn't agree to live in a house. Another was I must get to keep my dog and, lastly, I need at least some space I call mine. I wanted my own bathroom, but that didn't happen. There are other things I'd have liked but I got my must haves. His must haves are time alone when he wants it, plenty of books, and for me to respect and obey him - oh yeah and I mustn't mind living in a quasi jungle since he's passionate about plants.

If someone was very hung up on talking about what they must have and it's not something I'm able or willing to give or do, then I'd have to pass on the relationship. I think if something is really that important to another, then they need to find a partner who likes it or at least accepts it as well. No sense pretending something's not really important if it is. The desire/need won't go away.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 12:39:43 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x
So what are your "must haves" ?

When Master and I first came in contact with each other, my "must haves" were:
~ a partner who works and contributes as much as possible financially to the household just as I myself would also do
~someone who respects the love and connection I share with my mother and siblings and who would not seek to break those ties or restrict reasonable contact
~someone who truly values me for who/what I am and would never attempt to make me "less than" what I was when we met

Other than that, I was pretty flexible for sure

Actually, all three of these "must haves" came out of the fact that I was married for years to a man who ended up not meeting any of those three requirements listed. He wouldn't work, he totally disrespected me and my family and there was never any value for me as a person. I guess that's why I got to the point where, when we were over, I determined I would never accept such behavior again. So, those three must-haves were at the core of the next relationship I would seek.

quote:

What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?

I made it clear that I would NEVER NEVER NEVER be interested in bearing or raising children. NEVER. Master's are already grown so that was not an issue as He doesn't desire to father any more.

I also can't envision myself ever being fulfilled without a job that makes me happy. Without kids and houseplants to sit home and nurture and water, I go crazy after awhile. I want to put my active mind to good use and there's only so much housework one can do. I want to go out and do something productive in the world, put my mind and education to use and also pull my weight financially in this home. The thought of staying home all day everyday - nude or almost so - doing chores and waiting for Him to return was not a thrilling one at all. As He also didn't have any desire for that, again we agreed it wouldn't be something I'd need to think about.

The only other thing I can think of involves "kink," I suppose but it's anything to do with scat. I absolutely cannot fathom being involved with such an activity. I can't and won't do it. Yet again, He had less than zero interest in taking a dump in or on me, so we're three for three!

I don't think I expect too much and I sure am open to just about anything. These are my few requirements and since they matched and still match His perfectly, it works wonderfully

........................luci

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 1:39:06 PM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?...

premature death
incarceration
incest

has been a dominant, sadistic partner with confidence, integrity, intelligence and a sense of humor.

WOW! Beth has a hard limit list, weg....you two are the cutest couple on the face of the planet. You know even though i'm sure that look Mr. Merc is trying so hard to give in that photo is supposed to be serious, you can still see the grin in his eyes.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 1:44:41 PM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

I made it clear that I would NEVER NEVER NEVER be interested in bearing or raising children. NEVER.

One of the top items on my list too. No ums in the house permanently. I am a granny already, i like the kind you can spoil and send home.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 4:20:23 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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For me the absolutes are
no smoking
no kids
no bi-polar
must have lived independently for at least a year

The rest is up for evaluation and preferences.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 5:45:02 PM

alianora

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quote:

What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?

I guess the only thing that would really be seen as must have for me is my career. I have spent too much money and too much time invested in achieving my degree to just push it to the side for someone. I might be willing to compromise down to only part time or full time volunteer; but I could not give it up totally.
If it became such a huge issue between myself and a possible partner, meaning that there was no compromise over this; then yes, I would look elsewhere for a partner no matter what feelings there were between us.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 8:24:01 PM

Aszhrae

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What does girl have now, own room and access to a computer that girl learned to build laboring for master, parts purchased by the allowance girl was given. It took a year, but girl did get a computer and the current couple let girl get it too. Personal time, more now than girl used to get, girl used to go 14hrs a day taking care of master and mistress needs, now they are in their 60s and retiring, girl still has chores, still labors for master, still gets an allowance, but girl has earned the time girl now spends online. Master and mistress watch television, girl on occasion but rarely sits with both. Time spent being pet to mistress, only an hour or two while master is in another room. Master comes, girl leaves.
It took 18yrs to get all these awards.
It's nice, but it took a lot of warmed skin and bruises.
Girl would certainly work her ass off with a mistress to have something similar again.
If girl wants something, girl simply asks master or mistress or both when eating dinner. Yes girl earned that right as well, what girl needs to do in order to get something girl wants.
Its a must, a reward system. (what is earned can be taken away)

By the way, girl worked her ass off so that master and mistress could afford their trip to see their daughter and grandchildren, girl's award, the house for two weeks, all to girl's self. What did girl do with all that time to herself, cleaned the house from top to bottom, not a spot of dust to be found anywhere. Why? Because girl was bored out of her skull within three days after master and mistress took off on their trip. Girl is sure had she had a month, would have painted the house.
Girl was rewarded for that as well. Actually received a hug from master, master never hugs.

Its what girl has now, girl would want again and would want a chance to earn the already mentioned rewards.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 9:17:43 PM

moonvine

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I'm not sure I would want to live in the same house as another human under any circumstances. Next door is the way to go

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 9:25:09 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Before Daddy I never had live in. He lives with me and my parents.

Number one biggest thing, if my dad ever allowed it again, they'd have to never make my parents regret the descion to live with us. There are circumstances an stuff that have made my parents regret the choice to let Daddy move in here with us, so My dad will probably never allow another live in.

they would have to have an income source that was legal wouldn't get them jailed, and made them enough to be plenty comfortable. I'm not a gold digger, but I do not want a partner who's struggling consistantly and constantly month after month to have money for the bare basics, or who's living paycheck to paycheck or flat out broke and in overdraw more than once in a blue moon.

They'd have to be self starters, contribute pysically to the house, you know wash dishes help clean the bathroom cooking too. They'd also have to be finacially responsible, and not waste tons of money on stupid frivilous shit. They'd have to be motivated and not lazy or slovenly in either hygein or in anything else. They would have to have the same goals as me, and they'd have to be willing to save every last dime possible into affording a better place.

They must like dogs, since I will always probably at one time or another have a dog. My dog had to be put to sleep recently, so If Daddy and I break up I'll be dogless, but likeing animals not jus dogs, is still a huge requirement.

They must not only have a car, but a valid liscence, and they must keep up to date insurance on the car, since I don't drive, and the last two years of having a partner who drives has spoiled me.

They need to be an atheist like me or a non practicing religion, Ie they were raised catholic but no longer claim catholisism.

They also need to not have any mental problems, since I'm tired of dealing with the crap that comes with having a mentally ill person, since the last two relationships and this one all had mental issues.

We also REALLY need to mesh well sexually and emotionally and goal wise, we have to mesh on issues such as children and how to raise them, and they have to be monogamous, in as far as relationships and who's in them goes, but share me sexually with others. I'm willing to fuck others and play with them and him play with them and have all that fun, but when it comes down to it and sex play's over and clean up begins, it boils down to him and me and that's it period.

I would absolutely never give up my animals, my family, friends, ormy morals and my values. I would never give up bdsm or kinky stuff, or things I am equally passionate about. I did a 4 year long bdsm less relationship and I was NOT satisfied.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

I thought about putting this in the live in requirements thread, then i changed my mind and started a thread of my own.

Each household/relationship is going to have certain "must do/haves" that will need to be fulfilled at some point for the relationship to go forward.

I am not talking about the emotional needs like love, honor, trust but rather about the day to day or long term living arrangements.

For example; you agree to try a relationship with the understanding that if it works out you must get a job and contribute to the household finances.

Or, as in our situation, if you are a sub at some point you are going to have to move in and quit working.

So what are your "must haves" ?

What would you absolutely not consider doing/giving up even if it was otherwise the perfect relationship/situation for you?

What do you do if the person/prospective partner you are speaking with gets so hung up on the one or two must haves to the point where that is all they discuss?

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 11/21/2008 9:41:25 PM >

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 10:15:07 PM

Aszhrae

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In serving master as a laborer, girl learned skills that would enable girl to earn money anywhere in the world, as master once told girl, you will learn or I will have mistress toss you out on your ass. You will not reside here as just her pet, you will earn your keep. Girl has, endured the pain, the scars, the long hours but girl did learn, and so long as there people that live in houses, they will always need them repaired, renovated or built from their footings. Its interesting, girl looks back, girl benefited from increased stamina and higher pain threshold. Could girl ever give it up, probably not, it's ingrained now.
Master did admit to me one time that if he had another daughter, he hoped his daughter would be like girl. Master's words, you are one tenacious little bitch. Then came the slap, no place for your pride now. You're still mistress's pet.

Girl thought the reply was required.
Again, girl hopes that what was earned with the current couple can be earned again with next mistress that wants girl also.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/21/2008 11:35:51 PM

GreedyTop

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Love me, love my cats.
I have to be able to have a job.. I like what I do, I enjoy working (even when I hate it..LOL)
I'm very close with my Mom, Stepdad, and friends, so no restricting my contact with them.
I must have my 'alone' time.. and I need occasional times out with friends (withOUT the SO)
I must also have frequent physical contact..not always sexual.. just the soft touch on the shoulder, hugs, etc.

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/22/2008 12:06:02 AM

steviemichael

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moving to another person (s) location or household and have to bond to another i would not give up my famliy (Mother sisters brothers )

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/22/2008 12:41:10 AM

Aszhrae

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Must have lived independently for a year: is that dominant or submissive or both?

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RE: 24/7 living arrangements? What would you consider i... - 11/22/2008 12:54:55 AM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Love me, love my cats.
I have to be able to have a job.. I like what I do, I enjoy working (even when I hate it..LOL)
I'm very close with my Mom, Stepdad, and friends, so no restricting my contact with them.
I must have my 'alone' time.. and I need occasional times out with friends (withOUT the SO)
I must also have frequent physical contact..not always sexual.. just the soft touch on the shoulder, hugs, etc.

...apart from swapping 'cats' for 'dogs'...