RE: Fixation, it's more common then I thought

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RE: Fixation, it's more common then I thought - 11/23/2008 9:28:17 PM

TNstepsout

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Joined: 8/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

TN.. you hit a really good point there. I don't really know what his 401k looks like, nor do I know how much equity he has in his home and it may well not be enough to give him the comfort required to look at retirement if on the chance we didn't work out then he would have a tough road to go. And the new job thing would actually be the same job, just a different location, he works for a large company that has a location close to us. I do appreciate your input... it's difficult to see the other side of things sometimes. For the next question though... lol How do you work around those issues? At least bring them down to a dull roar so you can talk over them?

Jewel

Well I can't say for certain how you can work around the issues, but I think dealing with it with honest concern for his future well being would help him feel more comfortable with the idea. Maybe he needs to know you better and have more trust in you and your husband before he can even consider making such a big move. I would just suggest taking it slow. Really talk through all of his concerns, but as a friend willing to listen, not someone with an agenda who is trying to convince him to do what you want him to do. I know you are thinking how disappointing it would be if it didn't work out and you spent all that time getting to know him, but it's such a big decision, it really can't be done backwards.

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RE: Fixation, it's more common then I thought - 11/24/2008 10:51:54 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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Getting to know someone is never a waste of time to me and mine, but I do understand that point. But at this point I think Lockit really nailed it, it seems to be a deep seated fear that he can't even approach. The good news is that I'm learning a lot for future reference!!!

Thank you all.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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