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RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:24:04 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Actually, I do trust him.
I don't trust myself.....all the way.
Actually I think ropes are better.

Okay...now the entire 'separate rooms' thing seem overtly silly. You trust him. As the Domme, you'll also be in more direct control of how things progress.

So, you're entertaining keeping him at bay at risk of...what? Temptation? Non-prudish appearance?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 21

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:25:55 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After giving this more thought, I am now thinking we need separate rooms.

Out of curiosity...how is this logical at all (at least financially)?
If you are determined to have a hotel room, why not find one close to where he lives and then have separation available at your own discretion?

Or why not spend the first evening together before booking a hotel to see if chemistry dictates a different path to take?

Well, I plan to spend the first day and evening together, it makes since to spend at least one
night, rather than flying back the same day.
Actually, I am flying to the closest MAJOR city, which is why
I can get a cheaper fare.
He will have to drive at least 2 hours to meet me at the airport.
I am going in the middle of the week, so airfares and hotel rooms,
are much cheaper, I have checked.

I think many people are meeting others that don't live close, so I thought this is certainly a situation
many of us have been in or will be in.
I am enjoying the responses.
He will be reading this thread later.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 22

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:26:55 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
Actually, I do trust him.
I don't trust myself.....all the way.
Actually I think ropes are better.

So perhaps he needs to cuff you to YOUR bed.

If you're being serious, then perhaps you need to work on self-control before you meet anyone.

Yes, I know, pot meet kettle, I have self-control issues, but I can always blame it on the fact that I'm one of those untrained subs. *cough*

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 23

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:27:12 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

i am in a very similiar situation as yours. we have been communicating daily since May and my flight for Florida leaves on Dec. 3rd. he is picking me up at the airport and taking me to his home. where i sleep will be his decision.
i don't have it in me to fly long distance for just a cup of coffee.

may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 24

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:28:08 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

*cough*

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 25

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:28:16 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Actually, I do trust him.
I don't trust myself.....all the way.
Actually I think ropes are better.

Okay...now the entire 'separate rooms' thing seem overtly silly. You trust him. As the Domme, you'll also be in more direct control of how things progress.

So, you're entertaining keeping him at bay at risk of...what? Temptation? Non-prudish appearance?

Yes, yes damnit.
I am a virtuous Dominant.
yes, yes, and fucking yes!!!!!
............even though I met my ex-husband 10 years ago also long distance and we
had sex the first night.......
I want to keep him at bay!
I am not easy!
yes, yes, yes,yes damn you yes!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 26

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:28:30 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Everhope, from what I hear, an airport parking garage and a cage are in your future.

Cali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 11/22/2008 10:29:21 AM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 27

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:29:19 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I flew 3,000 miles to meet him and Alandra. For that first visit, I stayed in a hotel. We made no decisions on whether he would stay with me or not until I actually arrived. Meeting in person was just a chance to validate what we knew.

In the end, he spent the night that first night and we fucked like mad rabbits. I carried marks on my back from his nails that first night for almost a year. He spent every night but one with me during my visit. Any visit after that, I stayed in his house.

It all depends on what you are comfortable with. We were comfortable with the choices we made, but not everyone would be.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 28

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:30:35 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Yes, yes damnit.
I am a virtuous Dominant.
yes, yes, and fucking yes!!!!!
............even though I met my ex-husband 10 years ago also long distance and we
had sex the first night.......
I want to keep him at bay!
I am not easy!
yes, yes, yes,yes damn you yes!

*chuckles*

Fair enough!

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 29

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:33:05 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

i havent read the entire thread and i can tell that you are very happy about this encounter...and that is wonderful and ill go back in a minute and read all the tongue and cheek answers...Happy for you that you are so excited....

That being said, while you are a Domme, you are still a woman and you are travelling quite a distance from home and you are meeting a man. In reality you need to have your own space.

If the chemistry is right you can cancel the reservation on the other room and save whichever of you the cash...but if the chemistry is wrong or even only slightly off, you are going to need your own space during the time between flights.

Now, im going back to read and if i have anything cute to add, besides my lil behind, youll find that later in the thread....

back to previously scheduled programming....

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 30

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:35:14 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I rarely have the house to myself, so someone that visits me has to go the hotel route. If I am going to visit someone, I expect to stay at their house, if not in their bed(room). Once the situation has gotten to the "visit" stage, why slow things down?

Long distance relationships can be artificial, because all the "good parts" are squashed into the visits, and the boring stuff never arises unless you make a point of including it. (Yes, I made a point of including it! My former slave and I spent every weekend together.) I would go with whatever seemed right---and for me, yeah, the airport parking garage is a fine, fine thing. Especially if a larger vehicle is involved. Just sayin'.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 31

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:37:49 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Everhope, from what I hear, an airport parking garage and a cage are in your future.

Cali

Dammit!!!!....are you KIDDING me???...*was going to post something flirty and cutesy and now...harumph!...pouts*

ooooh, was that out loud?

*lays down by her dish*

perse.

edited to add emoticons so's i dont gets my ass kicked by everhope...~weg~
im so happy everybodies getting some this lovely holiday season....(me included...shhhh)

< Message edited by persephonee -- 11/22/2008 10:39:06 AM >

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 32

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:38:09 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

i havent read the entire thread and i can tell that you are very happy about this encounter...and that is wonderful and ill go back in a minute and read all the tongue and cheek answers...Happy for you that you are so excited....

That being said, while you are a Domme, you are still a woman and you are travelling quite a distance from home and you are meeting a man. In reality you need to have your own space.

If the chemistry is right you can cancel the reservation on the other room and save whichever of you the cash...but if the chemistry is wrong or even only slightly off, you are going to need your own space during the time between flights.

Now, im going back to read and if i have anything cute to add, besides my lil behind, youll find that later in the thread....

back to previously scheduled programming....

perse

Thank you so much for all your answers.
Even though this is a fun thread, it is really happening.
Many of us DO get caught up, especially when the chemistry seems right.
We are also in tough economic times, so meeting people in other cities, traveling,
money, expenses and LUST are all thrown in the damn pot.
The plan was for me to pay for my airfare, and HIM to pay for the room, etc.
Maybe I will just take the ropes, handcuffs, and ducktape and say to hell with it.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 33

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:42:29 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Youll know when you see him and talk that its right or not...as to play on the first meet....i have done it in the past...and will do it in the future...i trust my instincts and i know that my gut has a perfect record in this regard...any incidents that point to the contrary are because i ignored my instincts....my bad.

Keep yourself safe and then....Heaven help his ass!!!

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 34

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:43:08 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
...........Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

On first meet, I have had a kneeling slave kiss my feet in the airport terminal and I have fucked in the airport parking garage. Personally, I wouldn’t have someone fly in if we weren’t gonna’ fuck & play.

Great answer RS, I love it.
BUT, RS......I am the Dominant, he is the submissive.
And this is ALL my idea.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 35

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:44:45 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Youll know when you see him and talk that its right or not...as to play on the first meet....i have done it in the past...and will do it in the future...i trust my instincts and i know that my gut has a perfect record in this regard...any incidents that point to the contrary are because i ignored my instincts....my bad.

Keep yourself safe and then....Heaven help his ass!!!

Thank you again.
It has great to hear all the different responses.
This is certainly something, MANY of us deal with.
We are not all going to find the "one" we want, in the same little
geographic area we live in.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 36

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:46:08 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I flew 3,000 miles to meet him and Alandra. For that first visit, I stayed in a hotel. We made no decisions on whether he would stay with me or not until I actually arrived. Meeting in person was just a chance to validate what we knew.

In the end, he spent the night that first night and we fucked like mad rabbits. I carried marks on my back from his nails that first night for almost a year. He spent every night but one with me during my visit. Any visit after that, I stayed in his house.

It all depends on what you are comfortable with. We were comfortable with the choices we made, but not everyone would be.

Knight's Kyra

Aww, kyra....
this girl adores you all.....

peace
perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 37

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:46:47 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I was talking to someone I considered a friend for a few years hell we were online bf and girlfriend by the time I went to see him and when I went to go meet him he turned into a total ass, and a waste of time and money to go see. He was also a worthless liar. Last time I went out of town to see someone who was a friend online, who I'd talked to for a year almost everyday, she didn't turn out to be who she claimed either. The end of the trip kind of turned into a disaster too. And then when I missed my flight cause we were late to the airport due to her dad, then she wouldn't even turn around and come back. I spent all day in the airport on stand by alone, and stressed.

I've always been willing to go out of town for friends, I won't any more. If they want to meet they're going to have to come to me it's not that I am afraid to but I'm not willing to potentially waste the money any more. And I will never consider LDR's either after several where, despite their best prommises and efforts, the relationship was lacking because they were not close enough to see more than every few weeks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I generally dont do LDR's. reason being is my dilemma of a meeting. If I go meet someone and things dont work out, I'm kind of stuck. I was once offered an all expense paid flight to toronto to play with someone. But I decided against it because the last thing I wanted was to be stranded in a foreign country. I did drive a few hours about a year ago to meet and stay in the same room as a friend I had never met in person. We had been talking for 2 years and he had just broke up with a bipolar nutcase sub and needed a friend. We met half way and shared a hotel room and a bed. After the first hug i knew nothing was going to happen as he was not in a mental state. But we easily slept in the same bed and had a good time as friends and I was glad for the time we shared and how I could emotionally be there for a friend. The friendship had developed over time through chat and e-mail and I had no fear of him and knew it wasnt a love connection ahead of time.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 38

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:48:19 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Mia... I think you need to keep options open instead of getting focused on what you want to do.

For example....

Kyra flew to Edmonton where I met her at the Airport and we sat down to be with each other for a bit....

Then.. a choice of several options was on the table

I drive her to the pre-arranged hotel ----- Our connection is strong... no doubts or concerns
she takes a taxi to the pre-arranged hotel --- some doubts and concerns but not turned off wants more info.
she takes a taxi to a hotel that I am unaware of. --- OH MY FUCKING GOD... I am OUT of here as fast as I can!!!

Well she wanted me to driver her to the Hotel ------------ HOT DAMN I am thinking!!!!! But that brought other options..

I bring her up to her room at the Hotel ------ OH MAN... things are looking up!!!
She checks in and I pick her up later for supper..... mmmm she is not so sure... but she is interested

She allowed me to bring her to room.... HOT DAMN!!! but that doesn't mean I am going to get to use her.

we drop stuff in her room and then leave to go for supper. --- she not so comfortable but still wants to learn more of me
we stay in the room for a bit and talk then we leave -- we get to know each other some more getting more comfortable
She gives herself to me!!!!! -------------- THE SLUT IS MINE!!!

WELL The slut threw herself at me.......OH BABY WHAT A SLUT!!!! So I took her as mine and told her we are leaving.... to go and meet Alandra... I am going to fuck her later... since I will be Staying the night!

options are your friend!! keep them open.... don't pin yourself into a particular path unless you are confident with that path!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 39

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:53:36 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Mia... I think you need to keep options open instead of getting focused on what you want to do.

For example....

Kyra flew to Edmonton where I met her at the Airport and we sat down to be with each other for a bit....

Then.. a choice of several options was on the table

I drive her to the pre-arranged hotel ----- Our connection is strong... no doubts or concerns
she takes a taxi to the pre-arranged hotel --- some doubts and concerns but not turned off wants more info.
she takes a taxi to a hotel that I am unaware of. --- OH MY FUCKING GOD... I am OUT of here as fast as I can!!!

Well she wanted me to driver her to the Hotel ------------ HOT DAMN I am thinking!!!!! But that brought other options..

I bring her up to her room at the Hotel ------ OH MAN... things are looking up!!!
She checks in and I pick her up later for supper..... mmmm she is not so sure... but she is interested

She allowed me to bring her to room.... HOT DAMN!!! but that doesn't mean I am going to get to use her.

we drop stuff in her room and then leave to go for supper. --- she not so comfortable but still wants to learn more of me
we stay in the room for a bit and talk then we leave -- we get to know each other some more getting more comfortable
She gives herself to me!!!!! -------------- THE SLUT IS MINE!!!

WELL The slut threw herself at me.......OH BABY WHAT A SLUT!!!! So I took her as mine and told her we are leaving.... to go and meet Alandra... I am going to fuck her later... since I will be Staying the night!

options are your friend!! keep them open.... don't pin yourself into a particular path unless you are confident with that path!

Thank you Knight, for helping me to think of and create
even more options.
I agree, I will be in a much better frame of mind, when he picks me up
at the airport, and we have spent the afternoon together.
Thank you for making me REALIZE, I don't have to be pinned down.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/22/2008 10:54:27 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 40

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