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RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:55:14 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Knight you are so comical!  AS IF Kyra would have done anything but throw herself at you! 

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(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:59:01 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Knight you are so comical!  AS IF Kyra would have done anything but throw herself at you! 


well... if she would of done anything but that... I would of went and bought a lottery ticket!!  Obviously the odds was in my favor for strange things to happen against all logical reasoning!!!  Damn.... I just realized I could of been rich if she wouldn't of thrown herself at me!!! 

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 11:01:12 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Knight you are so comical!  AS IF Kyra would have done anything but throw herself at you! 


well... if she would of done anything but that... I would of went and bought a lottery ticket!!  Obviously the odds was in my favor for strange things to happen against all logical reasoning!!!  Damn.... I just realized I could of been rich if she wouldn't of thrown herself at me!!! 


pishposh...youre the richest Knight in the Kingdom and you know it.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 11:05:20 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Knight you are so comical!  AS IF Kyra would have done anything but throw herself at you! 


well... if she would of done anything but that... I would of went and bought a lottery ticket!!  Obviously the odds was in my favor for strange things to happen against all logical reasoning!!!  Damn.... I just realized I could of been rich if she wouldn't of thrown herself at me!!! 


Thank you Knight and Kyra, for sharing your wonderful story.
You all are an example of dreams coming true. 
You certainly are inspiring many of us.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 11:07:08 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

pishposh...youre the richest Knight in the Kingdom and you know it.


being a humble person... I am prevented from expressing the depths of my riches as I sit here on my pile of gold.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 11:15:19 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope

i am in a very similiar situation as yours. we have been communicating daily since May and my flight for Florida leaves on Dec. 3rd. he is picking me up at the airport and taking me to his home. where i sleep will be his decision.
i don't have it in me to fly long distance for just a cup of coffee.
 
may we all find our bliss.

 
Have a wonderful first meet, greet and beat, everhope!
You actually raise another topic here.
Making sure BOTH parties are on the same page for the expectations of
the first MEET, prior to the first MEET.
Being a Female Dominant, it is my decision to make and his to agree with.
I am making the plans {which is why I started this thread},
and he is going along with them very nicely.
I agree, it is certainly about BOTH parties being comfortable.

I like being the one that actually initiated the First meeting, I have NO
problem taking charge, making the plans and carrying them out.
I love to be in charge.
I just have to decide what I want, and as Knight suggested, why pin
myself down? 

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/22/2008 11:24:04 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to everhope)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 11:24:59 AM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Everhope, from what I hear, an airport parking garage and a cage are in your future. 
Cali


kissing and kneeling too!
i also have heard one or two things mentioned about a red cage....can it all be true?
soon to find out....so wetly excited, i am.
 not everyday you get to meet such a dear friend.


_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 11:27:48 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I just have to decide what I want, and as Knight suggested, why pin
myself down? 

I thought you were the one who was going to be doing the pinning?



_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 12:15:18 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Thank you so much for all your answers.
Even though this is a fun thread, it is really happening.
Many of us DO get caught up, especially when the chemistry seems right.
We are also in tough economic times, so meeting people in other cities, traveling,
money, expenses and LUST are all thrown in the damn pot.
The plan was for me to pay for my airfare, and HIM to pay for the room, etc.
Maybe I will just take the ropes, handcuffs, and ducktape and say to hell with it.
 


Make sure you check it and don't carry it in your carryon....

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 12:16:48 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Everhope, from what I hear, an airport parking garage and a cage are in your future. 

Cali


Dammit!!!!....are you KIDDING me???...*was going to post something flirty and cutesy and now...harumph!...pouts*

ooooh, was that out loud?

*lays down by her dish*
perse.

edited to add emoticons so's i dont gets my ass kicked by everhope...~weg~
im so happy everybodies getting some this lovely holiday season....(me included...shhhh)


Dear pers,
 
post away...i don't own him...lol
btw he loves flirty!

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 12:37:26 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I would like to get some comments from the BDSM population
here at CM, so here goes.
I am meeting someone from CollarMe, soon!

A potential submissive if all goes right.
We have exchanged photo's, been chatting basically everyday online,
telephone, and emails for almost 3 months.
He lives about a 13 hour drive from me.
We are planning to meet over the Christmas holidays.
I am planning to fly to meet him on a fairly inexpensive flight, since he lives
near a major city, so that is not a problem.
I don't want to stay at his place, so I am planning on staying in a hotel.
He has been joking about sleeping on the floor and I was talking about separate beds.
After giving this more thought, I am now thinking we need separate rooms.
This is after all, our very first face to face meet.
It is going to cost both of us more than I would like, but deep down I think it is the right thing.
Both of us have our own place, but again I feel more comfortable about it going this way.

Question.
When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?
I know all about "safe calls" and that could be an option, but I am talking about getting to know someone in person well, prior to playing, when distance IS an issue, and you won't be in a position to see each other every weekend.
 
Being 12-13 hours away, I doubt we will ever see each other every weekend, unless one of us moves.
That would be something to think about a LONG time from now. 
We are hoping if all works out, in the future seeing each other at least once a month.
And the NEXT visit would be in the same room.

Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!



I've had several submissives come and visit me...3 of them I was developing relationships with and the first meet seemed to seal the deal.  In each of those relationships, the length of the dynamic ranged from 1 yr, 3 mos to 2 3/4 years.  There were also a few who came to see me in which a relationship other than "casual" playpartners/friends was not sought by either of us.  I played with each of them on that first meet but we'd been talking for quite awhile before that meeting took place.  The time range varied from 3 mos. - 6 mos. of talking beforehand.

As has been said, you have to go with what feels right.  I never coerced them into playing with me and they certainly did not force me to play/sleep with them.  I may have been extremely lucky or smart or a combination of both but I've only had one meeting/beat/sleep end badly and I've detailed that on here before.

I've stated on here that I am a firm believer that a long-distance relationship is possible...with time and attention from both parties, with a commitment to overcoming the difficulties inherent in such a relationship from both parties, and a desire to truly give it a chance.  That belief has been shaken up a bit from time to time but I always remember that one of them came to live with me and was here until I sent her home and another moved herself and her husband here to be near me so I do know that it can be done.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 11/22/2008 12:39:08 PM >

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 12:44:10 PM   
Joenextdoor


Posts: 145
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		You should both stay in separate rooms, at least the first night.  The temptation for play or sex might be too great.  I have always felt that if you avoid that, at least the first day and night, then you don't muddy the waters.  By keeping that out, at least initially, you can just get to know the person better on an everyday level.  Secondly, if you want him to respect you, then show him that you are someone who should be respected.  If he gets bent out of shape over this, then he is not the one for you anyway.  Best of luck....

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 1:08:03 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

We are also in tough economic times, so meeting people in other cities, traveling,
money, expenses and LUST are all thrown in the damn pot.


indeed...I am another one who seems to meet someone in long distance over xmas. I am living in UK and am flying off to Canada to meet for four weeks (over xmas, new year and over my birthday *lol*) ...well, at least if he doesn't get cold feet and runs off...

In our case I will stay with him, but as this flight is likely to get pretty painful for me starting after approx. the first 5 hours of the flight (as my fibromyalgia might shoot out again; at least it caused me real agony last time when I went to Canada) and also did already cost me a fortune to get there where I will have 2 months followed with next to no salary (as end of january I will get only paid for 10 days as then my temporary contract is finished and end of february I get paid even less, as then I am working as a relief worker again which means end of february I will get paid what I worked in january for the reliefbank which will be maximum 5 days when I am over there more then half of the month and am only able to work at weekends in that month) it wouldn't make much sense to pay for a hotel as well.

But despite from the costly side (which I can manage as I will receive my next big student installment beginning of January which will cover my costs in the 2 months afterwards) we get on incredible well, and I very much doubt that this will change shocking bad when we meet. I made good and bad experiences and I am fairly confident that my trust on that meeting is justified

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 11/22/2008 1:21:04 PM >

(in reply to Joenextdoor)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 2:03:10 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Stop! =L=
 
Bein` a slut ain`t a bad thing!

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 2:17:04 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		*** Disclaimer.  I am answering the question as it regards to play, not sex.  Please take the words meet and beat to mean actual S/m play, and not having anything to do with both Top and bottom removing their clothes.  The bottom's clothes are option for better beating, of course.

Yes, I've done this.  I have had someone fly in and I made the drive to get them at the airport.  In My case, it was a bit different, as we were doing some events in My city, so we weren't both away from home.  This allowed Me to stay in My own home, while he stayed in a hotel.  Had it been another arrangement, it would have been separate rooms.  Since it is a first time in person meet, I would really think that would be the way to go. 

You can't really know until you meet someone in the flesh if that same spark is going to be there that has you so excited just now.  Plus, and I mean no offense, but even though you are a Dominant woman, you still happen to be a woman, and not every 'submissive' male turns out to be so submissive once you're in person.   Keeping the idea for the separate rooms could help you to avoid various pitfalls, even though it may cost you a little more.   Nobody says the other *has* to stay in a separate room if things go well, but why not keep the separate room as something of an insurance policy if they don't?




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 2:52:40 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Joenextdoor

The temptation for play or sex might be too great.  ... if you want him to respect you, then show him that you are someone who should be respected.


You're serious?  SERIOUS?  "If I sleep with you, you won't respect me in the morning"??? 

Wow.  Just wow. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Joenextdoor)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 5:34:32 PM   
Flogmaster


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Since I have a wonderful home here with lots of bedrooms...I'll always invite a sub to stay here, but if she is uncomfortable with that then I will make reservations at one of the local hotels in town. It's also very rare that I would "play" the first time, but it depends on how comfortable and how long we've been conversing  prior to meeting. We have plenty of time in the future to explore "play" what I want to see on a first meeting is her reactions to Me her body language how we inner act, get along, etc....and if ALL goes well then I'm not against laying her across My lap...LOL.

_____________________________

OMG!! you can do that to me!!

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 5:41:52 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Joenextdoor

The temptation for play or sex might be too great.  ... if you want him to respect you, then show him that you are someone who should be respected.


You're serious?  SERIOUS?  "If I sleep with you, you won't respect me in the morning"??? 

Wow.  Just wow. 

Cali



Come on Cali...you know that if you put out on the first meet that makes you a slu.....wait....that makes you a who.....wait....dammit.
What was the question again??



_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 5:58:13 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Everhope, from what I hear, an airport parking garage and a cage are in your future. 

Cali


Dammit!!!!....are you KIDDING me???...*was going to post something flirty and cutesy and now...harumph!...pouts*

ooooh, was that out loud?

*lays down by her dish*
perse.

edited to add emoticons so's i dont gets my ass kicked by everhope...~weg~
im so happy everybodies getting some this lovely holiday season....(me included...shhhh)


Dear pers,
 
post away...i don't own him...lol
btw he loves flirty!


Funny thing about Florida is,,,, theres just a boatload (or is it buttload) of kinksters with cages down there...wonder if its the shape of the state or the humidity or what? And why does everyone have a cage....is there something we should know.....mebbe we should start cmailing...

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to everhope)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 6:32:50 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Mz Mia!  I am very happy for you!
That said, I usually stay in a hotel when I travel, and I plan on staying there alone. 
Now... it matters not if I actually do stay alone, what matters is that I plan it that way.

With things being "normal" I do not let them stay in the same room with Me the first time, but there is always that little rat bastard "chemistry" that bites Me in the ass as soon as I use the word "never".  

I have played with two people the first time I met them.  One is My collared pet and the other is still a good play friend.
Guess I just got lucky that way.

Good luck to You too, whatever you decide!

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 60
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