Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/23/2008 3:09:03 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

Thankfully, there are perks I have with him that I don't have with my other pets. 


lol,

Sorry, i couldn't help myself

Ok to the question, there is actually something called 'subspace,' this happens to a submissive... where they completely release! By release i mean the succome fo the feeling of absolute control... this does not always mean love but in some ways submissives/ slaves say this is the best feeling in the world and is often strived for... in this case i believe you are feeling a smaller version, a sense of understanding and feeling the first steps of emotion towards a stronger relationship. Apprication for your situation perhaps. However, this is just a post from an outsider looking in... and only you can tell what you are truely feeling, so it all depends!

i couldn't personally tell you how i would feel myself until i was in the situation. With my current master i feel love, kneeling at his feet, cleaning, and so on... these are just things i do.. the feelings i have for him run deeper then just mere thanks he choose me.

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/23/2008 6:06:07 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

Thankfully, there are perks I have with him that I don't have with my other pets. 


lol,

Sorry, i couldn't help myself

Ok to the question, there is actually something called 'subspace,' this happens to a submissive... where they completely release! By release i mean the succome fo the feeling of absolute control... this does not always mean love but in some ways submissives/ slaves say this is the best feeling in the world and is often strived for... in this case i believe you are feeling a smaller version, a sense of understanding and feeling the first steps of emotion towards a stronger relationship. Apprication for your situation perhaps. However, this is just a post from an outsider looking in... and only you can tell what you are truely feeling, so it all depends!

i couldn't personally tell you how i would feel myself until i was in the situation. With my current master i feel love, kneeling at his feet, cleaning, and so on... these are just things i do.. the feelings i have for him run deeper then just mere thanks he choose me.


Oh, there is no doubt of that.  My Dear One is in that space and a bit farther.  I had suspicions for a while, then ended up flat out asking him.  Thankfully that was one of the first things we ever covered and made very clear, complete honesty.  If I ask something, he is to answer me with 100% honesty, and I will do the same for him.

However, he is also in a bit of a relationship with my primary partner, so, yes there are a few conflicts of interest there sometimes.  Now, could I fall in love with my pet?  He already knows the answer to that, which is an emphatic 'yes'.  Am I allowing myself to do so at this particular moment in time though?  No.  I have personal reasons and things that are being sorted out before I can feel right about re-assessing our situation.  But, that possibility is there, to be sure.  I love him deeply though, even if I'm not "in love" with him.

A very very good question though sexisubi.  One I'm surprised that doesn't come up far more often here.


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/23/2008 11:54:19 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, that's what girl is wondering.
But does your dominant feel the same way as you do when you are in that 'subspace', though girl would suspect for a dominant it would be 'domspace'?

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 12:00:05 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

Now, could I fall in love with my pet?  He already knows the answer to that, which is an emphatic 'yes'.  Am I allowing myself to do so at this particular moment in time though?  No.  I have personal reasons and things that are being sorted out before I can feel right about re-assessing our situation.  But, that possibility is there, to be sure.  I love him deeply though, even if I'm not "in love" with him.



BK says it best =)

The other thing i like about his post is he said 100% honesty... just ask your Dom/Miss if they are feeling the same way about you, or if they could ever love you... if that is something you are looking for from your relationship. It help move you to the next step... perhaps to love perhaps to stability... perhaps to just another experiance either way it's best to just ask.

added note:

A Dom can love the things you do, the sacrifises you make, the time you spend, the obedience you offer, the love you give, and will return these things with as much as They can. They admire you, They want to feel you, understand what you are thinking, as much as you want to understand what They are thinking.

Even if They have had millions of subs before you, you are special because you are a new toy, something new to learn and stretch... how far will you go? how much will you do? i saw something sometime ago 'A sub is something to be charished.' This holds true because from what i hear a good sub is hard to find!

< Message edited by sexisubi -- 11/24/2008 12:11:32 AM >

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 7:52:30 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Some have said that, which girl did say that they have mentioned, but others that have replied to this thread have not really answered the thread. It really does make girl consider that where some are concerned what they have replied is genuine. With others, girl is not so sure. Simply put there are those here that girl would trust, as for others, girl has better individuals to serve.


I replied with what dominance brings to me...fun, frustration, excitement, despair, happiness, sadness, etc..  There is not one thing that domination of another brings me that I cannot get in one way or another through other methods;  therefore I do not need a slave or a submissive to complete me.  I am what I am and who I am and while it is true that I have had and I know certain submissives who bring out a more dominant element in me and who bring out a "better" me, they do not make me what I am. 

My life is not a jigsaw puzzle with me constantly searching for the one who is going to complete the picture that is me.  I've said it before and I'll continue saying it... I would rather be alone the rest of my life than take on someone, vanilla or submissive/slave, who can't "get" where I come from and where I am now.  And if I end up being alone, I'll still be happy because of the work I have done to get here.  I see my life more as a kaleidoscope...ever-changing patterns and colors in what I see and encounter and it is great when those ever-changing patterns and colors come from one to make a more interesting picture than others do.

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 10:16:36 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		(Gets out all her crafty type stuff... body paint and pretty silky stuff so she can paint pretty pictures.)  What's up doc?

Sorry, couldn't resist!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 10:59:55 AM   
SteveAndJaz


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/22/2008
Status: offline 		Good OP... when I'm Dom I get about £75 per hour (lol), when sub, a split lip, some bruises, back ripped open...

Not the right answer? well when with 'jaz I dont mind who is holding the flogger, I feel complete, content, happy and very much in love.

Stephen

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 12:19:04 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

(Gets out all her crafty type stuff... body paint and pretty silky stuff so she can paint pretty pictures.)  What's up doc?

Sorry, couldn't resist!


Smart ass...

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 2:13:50 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Yes, that's what girl is wondering.
But does your dominant feel the same way as you do when you are in that 'subspace', though girl would suspect for a dominant it would be 'domspace'?



yes, many dominants have reported having "domspace", when they get in the grove and its all good in the world for that moment.

TheEngineer and Daddy are both human beings first and foremost.  they love me as i am, they dont require what *to them* are artificial constructs to keep me submissive, such as not referring to myself without personal prounouns.  that's them, and how they operate.  they both appreciate me for who i am, flawed though i be.  i'm loved for what i bring to the relationship(s) and not just as a faceless submissive.

spiritual enlightenment, no, i dont have that with them, although i have had moments during times with them that i've had a lightbulb moment and been tickled to share it.  its cool to see someone else be excited for you.

its been neat to discover more about myself through my activities with them, also, although i miss Daddy terribly and our interactions are now via email and IM (i relocated to texas from florida).  i get to be 24/7 with TheEngineer...and while i am his always, and he reminds me to "knock it off, i'm the bossman around this house!" on occasion, i am not required to sit on the floor, or restrict eye contact, or anything like that.  i'm HIS sub....and the equal to anyone else i am not directly submissive to.

that doesnt mean i am not respectful...it just means i am NOT someone else's to order about.  my relationship with TheEngineer is that he is friend and lover and husband within the next few weeks and dominant and BigDaddy.  i....am his, and Daddy's too.

kitten

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 4:19:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, definitely do a search for domspace or top space- although really, everything that has been said about subspace also applies.  Subspace is not necessarily a place of total surrender or succombing to anothers control.  There's really nothing you can universally say about subspace other than it's an altered state of consciousness.  Sometimes subspace can be bad- negative.  And I frankly have had far more intense/insightful altered states of consciousness in other ways than subspace has ever provided.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 6:14:49 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		using the third person is what girl is comfortable doing. that's just me

but girl has another question for you all, you don't have to answer, its more a question for the sub/slave(s) but if the dominants want to answer that's fine too.

when you find your self in that place, that single moment of truth, like the world has stopped, the moment is frozen (well not really) but the reality of the moment, like when you bring your hands together and interlace your fingers, do get that sense of calm, the stillness, where nothing else exists? when the session is finished, your dominant is standing there smiling or with a pleased, do you get that sense of fulfillment? and, you just can not wait until your next session with your dominant?

girl is just posing the question and you do not have to answer.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 7:43:07 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

when you find your self in that place, that single moment of truth, like the world has stopped, the moment is frozen (well not really) but the reality of the moment, like when you bring your hands together and interlace your fingers, do get that sense of calm, the stillness, where nothing else exists? when the session is finished, your dominant is standing there smiling or with a pleased, do you get that sense of fulfillment? and, you just can not wait until your next session with your dominant?

No. But then, I don't 'do sessions' either, not in the way that you are suggesting.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 7:56:09 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		There was one time where i got into a state... i would not call it 'subspace,' but at that moment the play got better it was more enjoyed it was intoxicating, even when it ended i didn't want it to end so i kept going with it moving forward with it, begging for so much more even after it was over. It was like my vision was blurred (not really literally) my life my body was almost intertwined with his, he was a focus that i could not take my hands my mind my soul off of. (yeah no, not just an O this was sooo much more!)

i am just glad He caught on and played along for a little while before letting it dwindle. i'm sorry what was the question? oh right! i felt more then fulfillment, i was way pleased he was pleased, but for me it was like... i had done something that i had not even known exsisted and my new goal is to get that feeling back, so all the sessions i can have would be amazing and bring me one step closer! almost 2 years later i have not felt it again... i have felt similar ones different ones... but striving to get it back, is kind of nice, gives me a challenge. :)

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 8:13:25 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you sexisubi, girl feels a whole lot better knowing that someone else has been there as well. 

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 8:36:40 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

when you find your self in that place, that single moment of truth, like the world has stopped, the moment is frozen (well not really) but the reality of the moment, like when you bring your hands together and interlace your fingers, do get that sense of calm, the stillness, where nothing else exists? when the session is finished, your dominant is standing there smiling or with a pleased, do you get that sense of fulfillment? and, you just can not wait until your next session with your dominant?

No, can't say as I have ever experienced "domspace" as its called.  There are only two experiences I have had that approximate what you describe.

One has occurred on several occasions over the last year.  I'm under an enormous amount of stress in my life right now.  There are days when I am juggling so many things, trying to keep this barely contained chaos under control while needing to be in three places at once doing about nine tasks and it all seems enough to drive you mad... and then I just become very calm.  My world is spinning around me like a hurricaine... and I'm the eye of the storm, calm, serene, centered.  Its a very zen like experience and it sometimes lasts for days at a time... usually until the pressure is off and I can truly relax a bit, then its back to normal.

The second is when I'm being very creative... whether drawing, writing or picking a tune on my banjo... sometimes I get very deeply into what I'm doing and again... its that almost zen like experience of serenity... the world is there, but distant... and I'm able to completely focus on whatever it is I'm doing.  Sadly, haven't had that experience very much this past year... too busy dealing with business.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 9:18:59 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
when you find your self in that place, that single moment of truth, like the world has stopped, the moment is frozen (well not really) but the reality of the moment, like when you bring your hands together and interlace your fingers, do get that sense of calm, the stillness, where nothing else exists? when the session is finished, your dominant is standing there smiling or with a pleased, do you get that sense of fulfillment? and, you just can not wait until your next session with your dominant?

girl is just posing the question and you do not have to answer.



the gentlemen smiling or pleased?  not likely.  smugly smirking is more like it.  "so you thought you couldnt cum again, hmm?"  this is where the endearment "evil goddamned bastard.  Sir." pops out of my mouth. 

sensual/play/scene times arent when i get those OOOOooo moments you describe.  those come at other times, when i'm communing with deity, when i've had a satisfying mental workout, things like that.  when i hit that scening-space, i'm told i make a purring-like sound, and that's all that is going through my mind.  purr, oh yes, purr, dont stop, purrrrrr...not any rational thought.  *that* gets the smug look too.

my late dear fallcon said when that moment hit *him*  it was like his entire soul singing "home" in a celestial-like chorus.  then again he liked getting flowery like that with me.  gods i miss that man....it'll be three years come christmas day that he passed.

kitten, knowing he still looks after her.

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 10:10:53 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		wow, padriag, you are the last person girl would have expected to reveal that you have spirit
girl was actually beginning to worry that Dom didn't have a spirit at all, good to know there is a human in there some where

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 10:22:43 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Actually the deepest into subspace I've ever been was at a party with someone I'd never played with before or since, So there wasn't any kind of emotional connection there,  but it was a suspension scene (my first) and when it was over I just dropped to my knees and crawled off into a corner.  They sent a sub in there to look after me and they made me sleep on the couch that night because they didn't feel like I was fit to drive.   I have not been that deep into subspace since and that was over 10 years ago.  That was also one of my last parties.  

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 10:29:31 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

Actually the deepest into subspace I've ever been was at a party with someone I'd never played with before or since, So there wasn't any kind of emotional connection there,  but it was a suspension scene (my first) and when it was over I just dropped to my knees and crawled off into a corner.  They sent a sub in there to look after me and they made me sleep on the couch that night because they didn't feel like I was fit to drive.   I have not been that deep into subspace since and that was over 10 years ago.  That was also one of my last parties.  


Moon, that sounds more like fear? Were you possibly in a form of zen focused on task? lol like i know anything about 'subspace' anyway here i am asking you but personally i have never ever been in subspace... but everytime someone has discribed it (as best they can) they talk about how great of a feeling it was. So it just kind of shocked me to read something different and i thought i would ask! Sorry! =)

However if you dont feel comfortable taking on the boards about it, and feel comfortable talking about it i am truely interested and would love it if i could message you about it.

(in reply to moonvine)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? - 11/24/2008 10:56:29 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I didn't mean to say it was a bad experience.  It was a great experience.  I was floating and in an altered state for hours.  I don't know if it was the suspension or what.  I just can't really describe it accurately, it has been too many years ago and I've never gotten there since, not that deeply.  The sleeping on the couch thing was an indication of how far into subspace I got, because I was in an altered state still (after 4 hours or something) and they didn't want me hurting myself or someone else.

I don't think it was task based - is being suspended and being flogged a task?  If so, sign me up for more tasks please!

And I wasn't submitting..I was bottoming..so was it really subspace?  Is there such a thing as bottom space?  Now I'm confusing myself!


< Message edited by moonvine -- 11/24/2008 10:59:46 PM >

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What do you get when you submit or dominate? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109